Fool me Twice
by Surarrin
Summary: In retrospect, I had a pretty good life—had being the operative word. In the span of a day my parents had left on a year long cruise, and I'd been visited in my dream by a crazy looking guy with a huge nose who told me I was going to be killed! I'm starting to wonder if maybe that wouldn't have been so bad after all. Still, there were some perks—or so I'd been told.
1. Prologue: Chapter One

—~—

"I'm home!" I called out as I opened the front door to my house. I didn't hear a response, but I could hear someone talking in the lounge room. I shrugged my bag off my shoulder and dumped it onto the ground as I made my way over.

"Ah, Issei, you're home."

I found my parents sitting on the couch. In front of them were what appeared to be at least a dozen brochures and pamphlets showing casinos, restaurants, tropical islands, tourist traps and other things that could only mean one thing.

"We're going on a vacation?" I asked excitedly, dropping into the seat opposite them. I picked up a brochure and my eyes widened as foreign women in tantalizingly skimpy bikinis filled my vision. Bikinis so small that you could almost see a hint of—

"Your father and I are going on vacation," my mother corrected me, and just like that my fantasy died a tragic death before it could even begin She smiled as she plucked the brochure from my fingertips and handed it to my father. "We won cruise tickets in a raffle!" she told me with a beaming smile. "It's leaving tomorrow—we've already packed."

I frowned. "How long will you be gone for? A week?"

My parent's smiles became strained. I became nervous.

"Two weeks?" I asked after hesitating a moment.

"Issei," My father began with a serious look on his face. "We're both very proud of how much you've …" he trailed off and glanced aside at my mother who looked right back at him with a confused look on her face.

"…we're very proud of you," my mother finished.

I winced slightly.

I _might_ have deserved that. Still, it hurt that neither of my parents were able to come up with something they were 'proud' of. It said a lot about my life choices up to this point in my life.

" _Very_ proud of you," My father quickly agreed. "Which is why we feel so comfortable with leaving you by yourself for the next fifty two weeks."

I stared blankly at my parents as I processed that number.

"F-fifty two weeks?" I stammered, my eyes widening. "T-that's almost a year!"

My mother gave me a look of resignation. "It _is_ a year, Issei," she said to me gently.

"That's even worse!" I protested, folding my arms across my chest. "What about cleaning—or food or the bills?"

"Issei."

I winced and looked at my father whose smile had vanished.

"Sorry."

"Your mother and I have made arrangements for bills, and we've also arranged for groceries to be delivered weekly as well as a small stipend for your own spending."

My mother picked up an envelope from the table and leaned forward offering it to me.

I gingerly took it and tore it open. Inside was a bank card as well as a sheet with a pin number and a payment schedule.

"Two thousand yen a week?" I murmured, my eyebrows raising. "That's… that's less than I get now!" I said, looking at my parents in confusion.

"Your father and I have been talking, and we believe it's time you took some responsibility," my mother said, glancing over at my father for confirmation, before continuing more firmly. "If you want extra spending money then you'll need to earn it yourself."

I felt the bottom of my stomach drop.

She was… she was talking about a job. That was the worst! That would get in the way of my personal time! That was when Matsuda and Motohama and I got together to watch por—respectable adult movies and read manga! I brought my hand up to my face. I felt ill. This… this wasn't happening. I'd already meticulously planned out my spending for the next two months! I'd already put a down payment on a limited edition Kaben Rider Pinky figurine which was non-refundable!

I heard one of my parents sigh.

"We aren't monsters Issei," my father said. "If you're having any difficulties you can call us and we'll transfer some money to help you if anything unexpected happens—like the stove breaking down or a pipe bursting—"

"Can't you just put the money in the account now? That way I won't have to call you if it's an emergency." I pointed out.

My parents glanced at each other and something unspoken passed between them. "Issei," my mother began gently. "It's not that we don't trust you to be responsible with the money, it's just that…"

"….we don't trust you to be responsible with the money." My father admitted bluntly, earning himself a light slap on the arm from my mother.

I began to tune out what was being said to me after that. It was all white noise as I failed to come to terms with the reality of my situation. I vaguely heard something about ground rules being mentioned, but before too long I found myself trudging up to my room and collapsing on top of my bed still in my school clothes.

The worst part was tomorrow was washing day and my sheets were dirty.

I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling.

I was going to have to learn how to use the washing machine.

I frowned.

I was going to have to learn how to use the stove. Mom had banned me from the kitchen after I had left a pot of instant ramen on and forgot about it. My nose crinkled. It had taken a month before the smell of the charred noodles had gone away.

I felt my eyelids begin to get heavy and each consecutive blink took longer, and longer. At some point I must have fallen asleep, because the next time I opened my eyes, I wasn't in my bed.

I found myself standing in the middle of a featureless hallway, at the end of which was a blank door with a brass knob attached to it. It took me longer than I'm willing to admit before I moved. I had expected my body to move of its own accord, as though it was a normal dream.

I took a hesitant step forward.

My step made no sound.

After a moment I realized I couldn't hear myself breathing either. I attempted to speak, and no sound came out.

I took another silent step forward, and another, until finally I found myself standing in front of the blank door.

I reached for the knob and turned it. I heard the sound of the locking mechanism click and the faint smooth grind of the brass as it turned.

I pushed the door open and stepped forward.

I found myself standing in a foyer.

I breathed in, and I heard it.

The air smelt of thick earthy mahogany and a faint lingering scent of perfume that I couldn't quite describe.

I walked forward. My footsteps sounded loudly in the otherwise quiet establishment. "Hello?" I called out after a moment.

Was this really a dream? It seemed so real.

I stopped walking as I reached an unmanned host stand, behind which there was a pair of blue drapes, hiding what laid beyond from view.

I noticed a small silver bell on the host stand, and after several moments, I reached over and tapped it.

It let out a crisp ringing sound.

I waited for several minutes before hitting the bell again.

And again, after several more minutes.

"This is dumb," I grumbled and stepped past the podium, reaching forward and pushing aside the drapes and going beyond.

I found myself standing in the middle of a large dimly lit room. To one side was a dust covered bar, behind which were several dozen bottles of liquor, most of which were empty. There were a dozen evenly spaced bar stools in front of it, beyond which were half a dozen blue velvet lounges, tastefully separated and arranged so that few faced each other directly.

On the other side of the room was a small stage, on which a deep black piano sat. The moment I noticed it, I realized that it had been playing the entire time I had been there.

A faint sound almost inaudible until I had noticed. It was soon joined by an eerie disembodied voice. A woman's voice, softly singing along, her words incomprehensible.

I felt a chill run down my spine.

I turned to leave, only to find the way out had vanished.

I felt my heart skip a beat, and I shut my eyes tightly, attempting to will myself awake.

After several seconds, still hearing the eerie music, I cracked open an eye. To my distress, I found myself standing in the same spot in the creepy blue club room.

"Welcome to the Velvet Room."

I let out a frightened yelp and spun around.

Bloodshot, bulging eyes stared at me from above a truly outrageously large, pointed nose like that of a Tengu. A man—if you could call him that had appeared behind the bar while my eyes were closed. He was balding, and his remaining hair was long and more white than grey, in front of which two pointed ears sat. He wore a crisp black suit with odd proportions. His arms were too thin for his body, and his hands were clad in white gloves.

I found myself staring, frozen like a deer caught in the headlights.

Seconds ticked on in frozen silence, before the man, unblinkingly smiled. "Your arrival is unexpected, but not unwelcome," he spoke, his voice odd—eccentric, cultured in a strange way. "My name is Igor," he introduced himself.

"N-Nice to meet you," I stammered, before swallowing. "My name is I-Issei. Th-this is a nice place you have here," I said nervously, "Sorry for barging in like this."

The strange man—Igor—continued to smile. "I am pleased to make your acquaintance." He lifted a white-clad hand up and gestured to the room around us. "This place exists between dream and reality, mind and matter. It is a room that only those bound by a contract may enter."

"I uh, didn't sign a contract," I said awkwardly, reaching up and scratching my cheek. "I kind of just fell asleep and woke up here, well, not _here_. It was this strange hallway and there was this door at the end that lead here."

Igor tilted his head a degree to the right. "Truly? How curious." He lifted a hand and gestured toward the bar stools in front of the bar. "Please, have a seat."

I hesitated for several seconds, before berating myself. My mother had always told me not to judge other people by their looks—and he was part of my dream. There must have been a reason I had made him so… unique.

I stepped closer, and sat down on the bar stool in front of Igor.

"Do you believe in fortune telling?"

I shook my head. "No, not really."

"May I?"

"May you?"

Igor smiled and gestured toward the counter between us, and as he did, several large cards appeared on the surface. They were all face down, each a pale blue with a faint chequer pattern. Each had a blank mask in the middle, half of which was white and the other half black.

"Each reading is done with the same cards," Igor explained as I stared down at the cards. "And yet, the result is always different. Life is much the same, is it not?"

My eyes flickered between the cards and Igor. "I guess so?"

Was life really the same? Not everyone was dealt the same cards, after all. Some girls got dealt a larger hand than others in the chest department. Some boys got dealt pretty-boy faces and popularity!

While I was internally fuming, Igor turned his hand over, and one of the cards laid on the table flipped by itself. A creepy horned figure stared up from the card's surface with large bat-like wings and the face of a goat.

"The Devil, in the upright position, this represents the immediate future," Igor said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, frowning as I stared down at the card.

"It can mean many things, bondage, addiction, sexuality and even materialism. But in this instance I believe—"

"—B-bondage? As in… w-with a dominatrix?!" I asked, unable to contain my excitement. That was… that was amazing! I did a little fist pump. "Does is say who with?" I asked, unable to contain my excitement, a massive grin on my lips.

"It does not," Igor said, amusement reflected in his bloodshot eyes. He lifted his hand again and turned it over. A card on the opposite side of the table followed suit, revealing a skeleton riding atop a horse.

"Ah! I know that one!" I said, grinning. "It's the death card, right?" I asked as I reached down and picked it up. The card was light and crisp, as if it had just been taken out of a packet. "It means 'new beginnings' right?" I asked happily.

A new beginning with a hot girlfriend who was into bondage? I was _so_ ready! Fortune telling is awesome!

Two spindly fingers gently plucked the card from my hand. "Traditionally, that is correct," Igor spoke as he set the card back down on the table. "In the upright position, the Death arcana symbolizes new beginnings, change and transformation." He paused. "However."

My smile dimmed slightly. "However?"

"I believe the Arcana are being literal in this instance."

I stared at him uncomprehendingly.

He lifted a hand, and the two cards floated into the air between us. Igor gestured. "You are destined to meet a devil," he said, pointing to the Devil, before his hand moved toward the other card. "And it is your fate to die."

I stared at him blankly for several long seconds, before I folded my arms across my chest. "Well that's stupid," I scoffed. "Devil's aren't real and neither is fortune telling." I stiffened and slammed my hands onto the bar surface, leaning forward. "Unless—are you trying to say that my bondage girlfriend is going to kill me?!" I exclaimed, my eyes widening.

Igor tilted his head a fraction of a degree.

I slumped back down into my seat. "Do… do I at least do it with her first?" I asked, dreading the answer. "Surely… surely I do it with her first, right?" I looked at him with hope. "I won't die a virgin like Kiryuu said, right?"

"Is it your sincere desire to change your destiny?" Igor asked, regarding me, his bloodshot eyes looming over his prodigious nose.

I took a deep breath and looked Igor in the eye. "Is it possible for me to… do it with her before she kills me?"

Igor regarded me for the longest time in silence. "All things are possible, within the fullness of time," he said. He lifted a hand, and the two floating cards moved towards each other. They twisted and turned, and in seconds a piece of paper took their place, before floating down and settling on the bar between Igor and I.

"What's this?" I asked, frowning and reaching down to pick it up. It was a menu of sorts. There were no drinks, or food items on it however. In their place it had things like 'Childhood Friend', 'Priestess', 'Tomboy', 'Tsundere' and 'Magical Girl'.

I looked up from the menu. "I don't understand," I admitted and set the menu down.

Igor's ever present smile widened and he reached down to the bar, and dragged a single white digit along it, leaving a clear trail in the dust. "The state of this room reflects the state of your own heart," he said, rubbing the dust covered digit against his thumb before, with his clean hand he drew a handkerchief out of his suit pocket and cleaned his hand.

The state of the room reflected the state of my heart? I took a moment to look around at the dimly lit room, from the dust covered surfaces to the empty bottles behind the bar. It was in a state of disrepair and looked like it could use some cleaning, but beneath the grime there was a charm to the place. It sort of reminded me of—my eyes widened and my jaw dropped as I realized what I was reminded of.

My grip on the menu tightened and I brought it back up, my heart quickening.

"Normally I would have an attendant with me, another resident of the Velvet Room. Your arrival was unanticipated, honoured guest, and yet you must have a companion for your journey forward."

Igor gestured at the menu I held in my hands. "Choose wisely, for you may only choose once."

I licked my lips and couldn't help but grin. "I can pick any of them right?"

Igor inclined his head.

There were… there were so many good choices on the menu! I was overwhelmed with choice!

I took a deep breath. "Just to clarify… this is... a hostess club, right?"

"It would appear so."

I nodded slowly, took another deep breath, and then looked at the menu once more.

It was a bit weird that there weren't pictures, or descriptions on the menu. Still, no matter how you slice it 'Catgirl' was a tantalizing option! I could just imagine it, a cute buxom catgirl sitting on my lap and purring as I pet her! Or maybe she'd be the tsundere type? No, no! Tsundere was its own item. Not that I liked tsundere types, I'd rather my girl be all dere.

My eyes roamed up and down the menu, each item evoking tantalizing fantasies—and they would be fantasies! Igor had said it, this wasn't reality! Anything was possible. Anything… any position!

I felt a line of drool spill out of the side of my mouth. I felt my cheeks burn as I reached up to wipe it away with a free hand.

I took a moment to close my eyes and consider.

By the time I opened them, I had made my decision.

I set the menu down and smiled at Igor. "I've decided!" I declared and pointed down to my selection. "This one, please."

"Very well. I will make the appropriate arrangements," Igor said.

With a wave of his hand the menu was gone and I began to feel light headed.

"It seems we are out of time," Igor said, his bloodshot eyes boring into my own unnervingly. "In the coming days you will experience an awakening and revelation, after which you will return here." His words echoed inside my head unnaturally. "This coming year is a turning point in your destiny. The wheels of fate are already in motion, and the forces beyond comprehension move against you, even now, Hyoudou Issei."

My head seemed to get heavier and heavier with every word, until I found myself struggling to keep it upright. I heard Igor continue to speak, but I couldn't comprehend his words no matter how hard I struggled.

It was, of course, at that point that I fell out of my bed and hit my head on the corner of my dresser.

"Wake up you baka!"

I groaned, clutching the top of my head as my alarm clock loudly scolded me.

"I-it's not like I want you to wake up or anything!"

I winced as I managed to pull myself onto my knees and reached up, fumbling with the alarm clock and managing to turn it off after several seconds of trying.

"W-who said you could touch me there? Pervert!"

I sighed and set the alarm clock back down on the dresser before I stood up and rubbed the top of my head with a wince.

I trudged my way out of my room, yawning as I made my way to the bathroom.

The inside of the bathroom was humid and the mirror was fogged over. I grabbed a nearby hand towel and rubbed the surface, clearing away the condensation and revealing a grumpy looking face.

I stared at myself for several long seconds, before sighing and beginning my morning routine.

Half an hour later I was dressed for school, my hair damp and my mouth minty fresh. I made my way down to the kitchen only to find it empty. On the bright side, my breakfast was there. Two slices of toast and a glass of juice.

"Thanks mom," I called out loudly as I dropped into the chair and picked up one of the slices of toast. "You know I had the strangest dream last night!" I called out before taking a large bite out of the slice of toast.

I blinked, and slowly chewed, before swallowing and looking at the slice with a frown.

The toast was cold.

"Mom?" I called out again, glancing over my shoulder toward the doorway.

There was no response.

Now that I thought about it, I hadn't heard anything since I'd woken up. Normally there would have been the sound of dad rushing to get ready for work but… it was quiet. Too quiet.

Wait—had they already left?! What kind of parents left without saying goodbye to their son?! The obvious answer being my parents—but still!

It was then that I noticed something peeking out beneath the glass of juice sitting on the table.

I lifted it up and peaked off a yellow note that had been wedged beneath the glass. It looked like it had been hastily written, but it was my father's handwriting.

 _ **Sorry we couldn't say goodbye, we tried to wake you up earlier than usual but you wouldn't budge. Don't stay up so late in the future. Your mother left a cookbook with several recipes bookmarked. Try not to burn the house down but if you do call us straight away!**_

I stared down at the note. I could feel my left eye twitching.

I closed both my eyes and took a deep breath, before calmly tearing up the note and unceremoniously dumping it on the floor beside me.

I picked up my cold toast and began to eat it slowly, contemplating the merits of patricide.

By the time I had finished breakfast and washed my plate it was time to leave for school. My bag was in the same position as I left it the previous night in the hallway, I picked it up and slung it over my shoulder, before locking the front door and making my way to school.

It was several hours later that I found myself sitting at my desk with my two closest friends.

Matsuda had pulled his chair over and was sitting on it back to front. He was a bit lanky and he sported a perpetual buzz cut.

"Seriously, check these pictures out!" Matsuda whispered conspiratorially to me as he turned his camera around and pointed the viewfinder this way. "I'm telling you, there is a super-hot blonde hiding in the Occult Research Club building! I've asked around and no one knows who she is!" he exclaimed, shoving his camera in my face.

I rolled my eyes and took the camera from him. "Isn't that a ghost story though?" I asked as I looked down at the viewfinder and saw… a very blurry shadowed silhouette cast against a set of thick curtains.

"Let me see!"

The camera was snatched from my hands by my second friend Motohama.

Unlike Matsuda who was lanky and practically bald, Motohama was a bit more stocky with medium length brown hair and a pair of thick glasses that he claimed gave him the supernatural ability to peer beyond Kami's Veil and instantly know the three sizes of any girl he looked upon.

"It's a bit fuzzy but…" Motohama adjusted his glasses with a serious look as he peered down at the camera. "…I don't recognize these proportions at all!" he exclaimed.

"Never mind that," I said with an annoyed look to the two. "Haven't you guys been listening? My parents have left! For a whole year!"

"Woah, really?" Matsuda said, his eyes widening. "So you have the whole house to yourself?! We should have a sleep over, I have new…" he went quiet and glanced around, before leaning in and whispering. "…material from _that_ producer!"

"I can't believe… I'm saying this but…" I grimaced and my fists clenched against the desk. "This is… more important than porn."

Both of my friends gave me a strange look, as if they couldn't comprehend the words I had said.

I too, could barely believe they came from my open lips.

"They cut my allowance. I… I can't…"

My figurine…

"Oh?" Motohama's glasses took on a white sheen as he stroked his chin. "If you're hurting for funds… maybe I can buy that limited edition—"

"Never!" I exclaimed instantly, glaring at my traitorous friend.

Motohama clucked his tongue. "Tceh. It was worth a shot. So what are you going to do then?"

I grimaced.

There was really only one thing I could do.

"I'm going to… get a job…" I said, my tone only half as grave as I felt. "It's the only way. This is greater than my own desire… this is for Kaben Rider Pinky."

Both my friends took on a solemn expression.

For exactly half a second.

"So, want to check out the peephole this afternoon?" Motohama asked Matsuda conversationally without skipping a beat.

I glowered at them.

"Is Hyoudou Issei present?"

I stiffened and glanced toward the source of the voice, ready to protest my innocence to whatever trumped up charges I was being accused of and pin the blame on the two knuckleheads beside me. Who the heck talks about looking at a peephole when surrounded by people?!

I found myself under the deadly gaze of a beautiful violet and hazel eyed dragon.

I swallowed nervously and raised a hand. "A-ah Shinra-senpai, I'm here," I said nervously.

Shinra Tsubaki.

One of the Four Great Onee-sama of Kuoh. A classical Japanese beauty with long black hair and straight cut bangs. Not only that but she had a cute pair of glasses as well! She wore the school's uniform well enough that it was a struggle to not look. Girls wanted to be her and every guy in the school would give their right hand to be with her.

She was also the Vice President of the Student Council.

"Hyoudou-san, could you please come with me?"

It wasn't a question.

I gathered my things and watched as Matsuda and Motohama made themselves scarce.

"O-of course Shinra-senpai," I said as I got up and made my way to the front of the room, the gaze of every other student on me.

Tsubaki turned around and made her way out of the classroom.

I followed her out, desperately thinking what I had done recently to earn the ire of the student council as I felt countless eyes staring at me as I followed the Vice President out.

It had been over a week since my friends and I had used the peephole on the girl's gym room—and we hadn't been caught yet! It couldn't have been that. Perhaps they had done a spot check of my shoe locker and found the erotic materials I had borrowed from Matsuda?!

I bit down on my thumb briefly, unseen by the vice president as my mind raced. I took a moment to attempt to calm down, before I stepped closer and smiled. "A-ah Shinra-senpai, can I ask what this is about?" I asked, politely, doing my best to resist letting my gaze drop below her neckline.

It was a significant challenge.

Tsubaki reached up and adjusted her glasses. "I am afraid I do not know the reason," she told me plainly as we walked along.

I studied her reaction and the carefully maintained stoicism of her expression.

No trace of barely concealed disgust or additional loathing… maybe I wasn't in trouble? But then, what could it be about? Someone as cute as Tsubaki wasn't going to just… unless?!

I straightened up. "Ah, Shinra-senpai, could it be that you're taking me to see Shitori-senpai?" I asked, attempting to keep my tone casual.

Tsubaki paused for a fraction of a second midstep.

"I am."

There was only one reason—well not one reason—for her to be taking me to see the Student President!

My fists clenched at my sides and I resisted doing a fist pump into the air.

They were going to invite me to the Student Council! It was every guys dream in school! To join the council of buxom babes and be invited to their sleepover meetings!

I barely managed to contain my composure as he walked along.

We arrived at the student council room and Tsubaki opened the door for me. "Kaicho is inside," she told me.

"You're not coming in?"

She shook her head, her long dark hair fluttering briefly. "I have student council duties to attend to," she told me.

"Okay! Keep up the good work, senpai!" I told her with a bright smile, giving her a thumbs up.

She gave me an odd look. "Thank you Hyoudou-san," she said after a moment, giving me the tiniest of smiles. So tiny that I was almost entirely sure that I had imagined it—in fact, now that I looked closer it was less of a smile and more like a tightening of the corners of her mouth.

I wasted no more time and quickly made my way inside.

The door shut behind me with a soft thud.

"Hello, Hyoudou-san."

I straightened up on instinct.

At the far side of the room Shitori Sona sat, her violet eyes looking at me through dark purple rimmed glasses.

She was the polar opposite of Tsubaki-senpai.

Where Tsubaki had long hair, Sona's had a stylish bob-cut.

Where Tsubaki was as tall as I was, Sona was several inches shorter.

Where Tsubaki was blessed in certain feminine attributes, Sona was… not.

And yet, somehow she was even more popular than Tsubaki! It wasn't hard to see why! She was the kind of girl whose gaze demanded attention. She was also the smartest student in the entire school if her test scores were to be believed.

"G-good afternoon, Kaicho," I said with a hesitant smile as I got closer to her desk.

Sona gestured toward one of the empty seats in front of her desk. "Please have a seat, Hyoudou-san."

"Thank you, Kaicho!" I said, giving her a bright smile as I moved to sit down. As I did, I noticed several dozen folders and loose slips of paper on her desk, one of which had my photo paper clipped to the front.

Sona regarded me for a long moment. "Do you know why you're here?"

"I think I do," I admitted, "And I'd like to say I'm honoured!"

Sona blinked. "Pardon?"

I straightened up in the chair. "I want you to know that I'll do my best!"

Sona's brow furrowed. "Could you tell me the reason you believe you are here?"

I hesitated for a moment.

Could I have… been mistaken?

"…Too join the student council?" I said.

They sounded so, so, _so_ stupid when I said them aloud that I almost slapped myself.

"You are mistaken," Sona told me bluntly, her words striking my chest like an arrow loosed from a crossbow. "You are here because your guardians informed the school that they will be absent for the foreseeable future." She turned over a page in front of her and her gaze dipped down to read something.

"Traditionally this would be handled by your homeroom teacher, however due to unforeseen circumstances they are not available." She paused to let that sink in. "Naturally, this responsibility falls to the Student Council."

"Oh." I said dumbly, not knowing what else to say.

"Once per week a member of the student council will be visiting your residence after school."

"Why?" I couldn't help but ask.

Sona calmly folded her hands atop the other on top of her desk. "Kuoh Academy takes pride in its students and is conscientious of their health and wellbeing," she said, her tone crisp and leaving no room for interjection. "With your guardians otherwise absent it falls to the school, and with the faculty otherwise occupied, it falls to the student council."

She held up a finger. "Once a week a member of the student council will visit your residence after school for the duration of half an hour, during which time they will evaluate and record how you are adjusting to living by yourself, Hyoudou-san."

I stared at Sona wide eyed.

No… no! Anything but that! I had plans! Plans that involved moving my mattress to the lounge room and not bothering to wash my clothes or dishes until the weekend! Plans that involved the wide screen tv and strenuous marathon length activities!

None of which was possible if people were coming over to inspect my lifestyle!

Sona picked up a piece of paper and a pen, before turning the paper around and setting it in front of me, along with the pen. "Would you kindly read this and sign at the bottom to indicate you have read it?"

I looked down at the piece of paper she laid before me. I picked it up, my hands shaking ever so slightly.

It was everything she had said to me and more.

The more being the consequences.

The school would report to my parents once per month regarding my academic performance, any concerns the school had, or if there was anything unusual or untoward occurring. It didn't specify what that entailed, but… the message was clear.

My way of life was under attack. This was… unacceptable!

I glanced over the page at the violet haired demon sitting across the desk from me.

"Do I have to sign it?"

"No," Sona admitted. "If you choose not to sign there is no penalty."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"However."

My relief died as it left my lips.

"The school has received several complaints in… one form or another from students," Sona said, her words carefully measured. "As you know, Kuoh Academy is a prestigious institution that expects the utmost from those who attend. While your various…" she went silent for several seconds. "Eccentricities have been tolerated up until this point for one reason or another, there is a limit to what can be condoned by the school."

She gestured toward the paper I held in my hands.

"Do not look at this as a burden to shouldered, but a chance to turn over a new leaf and become more than you are."

My eyes dropped down from the student presidents to the paper I held.

They were pretty words coming from a pretty pair of lips belonging to a pretty girl. To my distress I found myself genuinely considering signing.

It wasn't like she was asking me to give up porn or anything.

"Earlier, you said something curious," Sona spoke up, breaking the silence that had developed. "You thought you had been brought here to join the Student Council," she observed.

I winced. "Y-yeah. In retrospect it seems silly."

"Do you want to?"

My eyes snapped up to meet hers. "What?"

"Do you want to join the student council?" Sona repeated, casually leaning her cheek against an arm propped up on the desk.

"Yes! Absolutely!"

With her free hand Sona turned a page over in front of her, her violet eyes scanning the contents. "Your grades are below average," she stated bluntly, "Your work ethic is abysmal according to your teachers, and your reputation is among the… lowest in the school."

Hurk!

Say what you would about her, her words did more damage to me than the kendo clubs beatings!

"As you are now, I cannot see such a thing occurring."

I winced.

"However," she continued. "If you sign this form and… put your all into leading an honest student life. Improving your grades and your reputation… perhaps concessions could be made."

I found myself staring at her at a loss for words.

"Well?"

I hesitated for a long moment, perhaps too long.

I sighed.

I had to do it, and not just for myself. But for all the poor souls that would never be invited to a sleep over with the babes on the student council. I couldn't call myself a man if I let this opportunity slip away.

I signed the bottom of the form.

Not much else was said, and I soon left the student council room receiving a polite goodbye from Sona. The rest of the day went by in a blur. I vaguely recall being asked several questions in my next few classes and being unable to answer to the teacher's satisfaction, though that was nothing unusual for me.

By the time the final bell rang I had recovered somewhat from the ordeal of signing away my freedom for the chance of a slumber party with several of my soon-to-be colleagues on the student council. I couldn't help but wonder if spin-the-bottle was a real thing or something Hollywood had made up.

I turned toward my friends with a smile. "So you guys want to come help me… look for…" I watched as my two so called friends quickly made their escape. "…Well screw you both too!" I glowered and with a huff I shouldered my school bag and made my way out of the classroom.

Still, I couldn't blame them.

Kendo practice was on today, and if you weren't quick you'd lose out on the chance to sneak a peek at some of the fittest girls in the school!

I paused mid step.

I had changed my mind.

Apparently I _could_ blame them.

I turned toward the instruments of my revenge who were currently making their way toward the door.

"Katase-chan! Murayama-chan," I said with a bright smile as I looked at my two favourite kendo club members.

I received two hostile looks in return.

Katase—the shorter of the two with strawberry blond hair held back by a white headband—clutched the strap of her bag, as if she was getting prepared to swing it at me. "What do you want Hyoudou?"

I held up my hands. "Nothing! Nothing," I reassured them. "I just wanted… to warn you."

Murayama was the taller of the two, with brown hair tied back into twin tails. Her cute face was framed by two bangs on either side of her short fringe. She also filled out her uniform more substantially, but that was beside the point.

She gave me a look as suspicious as they came. "Warn us?"

I leaned in, bringing a hand up to my mouth as I whispered to them conspiratorially. "Matsuda and Motohama are going to peek on you in the change rooms," I told them, my tone grave.

They both blinked.

Murayama shifted her weight to one side and set a hand on her hip, her eyebrows raised in disbelief. "And you aren't?"

"Not today," I reassured them.

Katase glowered at me, her cute looks twisted in an expression of a mixture of embarrassment and irritation. "You pervert it should be never!"

I clucked my tongue and folded my arms across my chest. "There's just no pleasing some people," I said with a huff and left the classroom, the moral high ground thoroughly on my side for once.

Either way, I'd done my good deed for the day.

Hopefully they would catch my traitorous friends and make them rue the day they chose peeking on nubile athletic girls instead of helping me find a soul crushing job for the sake of erotic memorabilia.

I made my way out of the school gates with a small crowd of other students who weren't attending after school clubs.

As I walked by myself I couldn't help but wonder what sort of job I would be able to get—somehow I doubted they were hiring porn critics my age, even though I was clearly over qualified for such a position!

It took a little while, but eventually I arrived in the city and made my way down the main street, peeking in windows and looking for wanted signs like they had in the movies.

In the end it turned out to me more akin to window-shopping than it was job-hunting.

Eventually I bit the bullet.

I found a restaurant that was in the middle of setting up for their evening customers and made my way to the front desk.

A tall man with slicked black hair wearing a waiter's uniform sat behind the cash register. He was filling out some sort of form. As I approached he looked up, his eyes filled with irritation.

"What do you want?" He asked me bluntly.

"A job," I admitted, giving him an awkward smile.

His eyes briefly flickered down to my uniform, before returning to my face.

"Do you have a resume?"

"…No," I admitted.

He raised an eyebrow. "Alright, I'll bite." He set down the pen in his hand and sat up, folding his arms across his chest. "Do you have any character references? From your teachers or previous work?"

"…No," I said with a wince.

The very idea of asking one of my teachers to vouch for my character seemed outlandish. I'd have to bribe them somehow—maybe one of the male teachers. I was certain that I could be very persuasive if given the chance! I had what every guy wanted, even if they were dishonest with themselves and everyone else!

Copious amounts of porn.

The man behind the counter regarded me for a long moment. "…You're a bit scruffy looking to be a waiter. We have a reputation to maintain," he mused, his hand reaching up and stroking his chin. "The cooks have been complaining about being understaffed—tell you what. I'll hire you to prep vegetables, a thousand yen an hour. It isn't much, but I doubt you'll get a better offer. You have experience doing that right?"

I fidgeted. "I'm willing to learn?" I said, giving a nervous laugh.

"….You're fucking with me." He clucked his tongue and waved a hand dismissively. "Get out of here kid."

I left with the bitter taste of defeat in my mouth, my hands in my pockets and a grumpy look on my face.

The next several businesses went much the same way. Each of them asking for a resume, references or experience. None of which I had. With every rejection the bitter taste in my mouth grew, until my expression turned sour.

I found myself trudging along with a perpetual scowl on my face. If there had been a can to kick I would have been kicking it.

The day had well and truly come to an end by the time I decided to call it quits. The sky had been cast in deep shades of orange and the street lights were starting to flicker as they came to life.

I shook my head and slapped my cheeks repeatedly. "I'm not giving up!" I declared to the havens.

I wasn't going to give up.

Today was the first of many.

There was a job I could do somewhere.

I just _knew_ it!

I took a moment to regain my bearings, before I began to walk home, which unfortunately found me walking toward the setting sun. I squinted, and lifted a hand up, blocking out the sun as I began to walk toward it, stepping around people walking into the city as I trudged forward.

The shadows became longer as the sun went lower and the sky dimmed, fading from orange to a purplish blue. Through my fingers I watched as it slowly inched down, slipping below the horizon. I felt a strange tension building that set the hairs on the back of my neck on end.

The sun dipped below the horizon and the tension that had been building shattered, and with it, the world.

One moment the world around me made sense.

The next, it did not.

I inhaled sharply, as though I had been holding my breath underwater and had just broken the surface.

The sky was red—and not the murky red of a late autumn sunset. It was solid red. The overcast sky of mere moments ago was gone. There were no clouds and no stars.

Only red.

That wasn't the only thing that was wrong.

The buildings had changed as well. They were a solid white that made no sense, it was as if every property they possessed, their shape, their corners windows and features had been stripped away.

The people around me had vanished, and in their place strange shadows moved, their shapes reminiscent of people, and yet flat and wrong.

Some were as thin and as see through as rice paper, others were more distinct, more _real_.

One of the shadows bumped into me.

"Sorry," I said automatically, only to watch as it brushed by.

As it did, I noticed a strange crimson sigil on its chest over where its heart should be.

There were others like that, but none quite as distinct.

I felt my heart thud rapidly inside my chest, as though it wanted to burst free and run away from whatever the hell I had walked into—I know I certainly had similar plans.

I felt myself begin to panic, and I did the only thing that made sense.

I began to run home.

I ran toward where the sun had set.

I barely made it several feet before I stumbled.

The sun had changed as well.

I watched in growing terror as an orb of pure darkness crept up from the horizon. It radiated shadow and it was wrong.

I felt as though it would swallow me if I kept looking at it.

I turned away and I ran.

As I ran I noticed that the shadows that the dark sun cast were beginning to grow—and I didn't mean in length.

The shadows bubbled and coalesced, condensing and forming into twisted shapes.

I ran harder.

I had no idea where I was running, I just knew that I had to run.

If I stopped then that would be the end.

I could feel inhuman eyes staring at me from the corners and alleyways as I passed through what had once been the familiar streets of my home town.

To my distress, as I ran into the city the shadow people grew more numerous and I began to see more distinct features amongst them, and with the distinct features came more of the strange heart sigils.

I ran for the longest time until my legs ached and my lungs burned.

I leaned against one of the white buildings.

It had no texture or temperature and the longer I leaned against it the more unnerving it became.

I closed my eyes and counted to ten.

When I opened them I was still in the same spot.

"Okay," I said, my voice shaking as my hands trembled. "Think, just think."

Think about what?

This was the second strangest thing I'd experienced today.

I stopped trembling.

It was the second strangest thing?

What had been the first?

I shook my head. That had been a dream.

Had it though?

Had it been as much of a dream as this was a nightmare?

I bit down on my thumb.

The dream was still fuzzy.

I remembered that crooked nosed man and his prophecy of me getting a girlfriend.

He hadn't said anything about this nightmare world though!

I took a deep breath and held it, before exhaling slowly.

"Okay. Focus. What's first?" I asked myself.

"I need to get off the streets of course," I told myself.

"You have no idea where you are," I pointed out and looked around at the blank buildings.

The only real difference in them was the height and the weight. I couldn't tell anything else about them.

It was then that I realized that… not all the buildings were featureless—not all the buildings were white.

A little over a hundred meters down the road there was something else.

A building—and it had features! Not only that but it looked normal! It had windows—lots of windows actually. It looked sort of like a gallery or a museum, which was odd. I didn't recall something like that being in Kuoh.

I quickly made my way toward the strange building, well aware that the time that I had been idle the shadows had been growing the entire time.

—~—


	2. Prologue: Chapter Two

—~—

As I got closer I realized that the shades—like the ones that had populated the street were gathering out the front.

The gallery sat at the top of several steps and there was a line to get in.

At the front of the line there was a figure screening people. My heart skipped a beat as I realized that they were human. They had features! They were bland features, but it was definitely a person!

I quickly made my way, slipping through the throngs of shades, and as I got closer I watched in surprise as one of them entered the building.

The shadow that made up the shade drained away like water off a duck's back, revealing a teenager wearing a striped t shirt with jeans and short blonde hair.

"H-Hey!" I called out as I pushed my way to the front of the line, shoving the shades out of my way desperately.

The guard looked at me and then looked down at the clipboard he held. "Name?"

I was taken aback.

"What do you mean name?" I said incredulously. "Can't you see what's happened?!" I said, gesturing at the shades and the sky.

"Name?" The guard repeated plainly, as if he hadn't heard a word I said.

My face contorted in frustration. "Are you even listening to me?"

The guard stared down at me for several long seconds, before lifting up their clipboard. "What is your name?" he repeated.

This was stupid. Why did he want to know my name when the entire world had gone to hell?!

"Hyoudou, Issei," I told the guard, unable to keep the irritation out of my voice.

I was further enraged when he looked down at his clipboard, and began to calmly leaf through the pages, taking an impossibly long amount of time.

"My name won't be there, I don't even know what the hell this place is," I told him angrily. "Can't you see this?! Any of this?!" I gestured at the shades that had lined up, to the blank buildings surrounding the gallery.

During my wild motions I saw that the shadows at the corner of the property were beginning to take unnatural shape, bubbling up and forming into something that looked distressingly like a person's limbs.

Finally, after an agonizingly long wait, the guard's eyebrows rose up. "Ah, Hyoudou Issei." He nodded and stepped aside from the doorway. "Sorry sir, I didn't realize you were a VIP. Please, come right this way." He said, giving me a polite smile as he gestured toward the doorway.

I felt like punching the guard.

I didn't want to go in!

I...

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw _something_.

The unnatural shadows that had been forming had become something hideous and unnatural.

A creature—massive and misshapen had taken form. It was humanoid in the loosest sense of the word, crafted from shadows that looked like they had been stitched together with a stapler. Beneath the seams I could see an ominous dark red glow. I could only watch in horror as pale white masks blistered and formed all over its torso, twisted in expressions of agony and despair.

Where its head should have been, there was another mask, but unlike the rest, its expression was calm, and its eyes were not empty. They glowed with the same malicious red that pulsed from beneath its skin.

And they were looking right at me.

I had changed my mind.

I shoved aside the guard and ran inside through the glass doors.

They shut behind me and I turned around.

The monster that had emerged slowly shambled toward one of the many, many, many glass walls that made up the front of the building. It was so massive I was certain it could keep walking and the glass would be able to do nothing but shatter.

But it didn't do that.

It stood there, it's empty red eyes watching me through the glass.

It paid no attention to the guard, the shades or the door, even as shade after shade entered the building, shedding their shadowy exterior and becoming human once more.

I stood there, as rigid as a statue, certain that the moment I looked away it would be on me.

Time ticked on, and neither it nor I moved.

The tension built, and built, and built until it was so heavy that I thought I would collapse under its weight.

And then the tension broke.

The creature was still there and just as horrifying, and yet, I just couldn't bring myself to be scared—well that was wrong. I was terrified, but I had stopped shaking. There was a limit to how long I could endure being scared out of my mind before I became acclimatized and I had apparently reached it.

I licked my lips—they were dry. Unpleasantly so.

I had been thirsty before the world had gone to hell. The running that had followed hadn't done much to ease it.

I took a breath and looked away from the monstrosity.

The interior of the building was refreshingly mundane. The floor was polished concrete—a cloudy grey with a faint sheen to it. It contrasted well with the white walls and equally white ceiling dotted with tiny down lights.

The walls were covered with picture frames of varying sizes from as small as a photograph to as large as a movie poster.

I watched as the people around me wandered from picture to picture, stopping to look, before continuing on, one after the other.

The pictures themselves were… not what I expected.

They were all girls.

To be more specific, they were all girls from my school.

I walked up to a medium sized one.

Katase and Murayama were featured in it. Each were wearing their kendo gear and were in mid swing of their shinai, their expressions were focused and a faint sheen of perspiration coated their faces.

It was a nice photo that I'm sure either of them would have loved to have. It showed their dedication to their craft, and to my lament, it was quite PG-13. The kendo gear was super unsexy.

The next one along was of a third year wearing a crisp white tennis uniform. She was in the middle of a swing and her skirt had risen ever so slightly on one side, giving a tantalizing hint of thigh, but nothing more.

They went on like that, showcasing girl after girl from Kuoh in their natural elements. The pictures managed to capture the inherent beauty in each of their subjects.

Truly, whoever had taken these photos was a natural born genius. It was as hard to catch a schoolgirl in their natural habitat. They were always so hostile! It was as hard as trying to catch a salmon swimming upstream whilst being beaten by several irate girls who were screaming about you trying to sneak a peek even though you were just going to class!

I reached the end after a while and found myself faced with a sign pointing toward several separate doorways.

 **^ VIP ^**

 **Unexpected Upskirts**

 **Captivating Cleavage**

Whatever I had been expecting, it hadn't been that.

So one could say it was a pleasant surprise!

I frowned and found myself torn between the two options.

On one hand, I did love a good upskirt picture! There was something tantalizing about the brief moment of vulnerability of an upskirt followed by anger or embarrassment from a pretty girl!

But then…

Cleavage.

Cleavage meant breasts.

I really liked breasts.

Big ones. Small ones. _Especially_ , ones as big as my head.

"Issei! Is that you?"

I snapped out of my indecision induced reverie and looked up toward the voice.

"It is you!"

I blinked rapidly as I found a very familiar figure standing in the middle of the VIP doorway.

"Matsuda?" I asked incredulously.

"Yo!" Matsuda grinned, swaggering up to me and slinging an arm around my shoulders. "It is you! What are you doing here?" he asked as he pulled me forward into the VIP section. I cast a longing look toward the two other doors, before I reluctantly let him pull me along.

"What am I doing here?" I repeated, my brow furrowing. "What are _you_ doing here? Have you seen outside?! It's a nightmare out there!"

Matsuda nodded sagely, his free hand coming up to stroke his chin, as though he had a beard. "The real world is truly a nightmare," he agreed. "This is the only sane place in the entire world you know?" he told me as we walked.

I let out a sigh of relief.

Finally.

Someone who noticed that the world had gone crazy.

"So what are you doing here?" I asked him, reaching up and brushing his arm off my shoulders.

Matsuda gave me an odd look. "This is my gallery of course!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms out and giving me a beaming smile. "What kind of friend are you that you can't recognize my master craftsmanship from a glance?" he asked playfully, reaching over and ruffling my hair.

I slapped his hands away in irritation, before pausing, and replaying his words.

"Wait, this is… your gallery? You don't have a gallery."

Now that I thought about it. Matsuda didn't look quite right. For starters he was wearing some truly strange clothes.

He was wearing a tuxedo—and not a regular one either. This one was covered head to toe in various… scantily clad girls. I recognized several of them—well more than that. I recognized all of them, their faces at the very least. I can't claim to recall ever seeing Himejima-senpai wearing the fabled naked-apron—though I would have easily given up my left hand for the chance!

All the same, I burned the magnificent tuxedo my friend wore into my memory.

Matsuda let out a laugh and slapped a hand down on my shoulder, clasping it tightly. "Issei, Issei," he said, smiling at me, his yellow eyes flickering with amusement. "My eyes are up here!"

He let go and stepped back. "Look, I gotta go—important things to do and all that," he said, waving a hand dismissively. "Come find me when you're finished checking out the VIP section, alright?" he said with a grin. "I'll show you my _private_ collection. I'm certain that you'll be able to appreciate them more than the usual riffraff that visits this place!" he said, giving a laugh as he turned and left.

I stared after Matsuda, watching him walk away.

Was… was that really my friend?

He certainly looked like him, but I don't really recall Matsuda ever being so… not-Matsuda.

I suddenly realized that in all my confusion I had made a grave mistake.

"Dammit!" I bemoaned. "I forgot to ask him where he bought that suit!"

I turned in the direction that Matsuda had run off in and immediately bumped into someone.

"Sorry," I apologized automatically, looking toward the person.

I stared.

One would say that a normal person had a face.

This person did not.

Where their eyes, nose and mouth should have been was… something else.

Something strange.

To be a bit more specific, they had a picture of a cat where their face should have been.

The person angrily shoved me and…

 **｢** **git out of mi wai u idit!11!** **｣**

A message bubble appeared in the air beside their head—like the kind you saw on the internet.

"Uh, sorry?" I said, awkwardly scratching my cheek, internally incredulous at their manner of speech as well as the fact they had a face that consisted of a cat playing with a ball of yarn.

The… person? Turned away and left, stomping over to another person—ah they had a cute anime girl for a face.

They began to talk, their words appearing in the air in message bubbles.

They said… several mean things that I wasn't willing to repeat.

I frowned deeply and reached across my chest to pinch my wrist.

I let out a yelp of pain and waved my hand briefly.

"I'm not dreaming," I said after a long moment. "…But I have to be dreaming," I made a counter point. "But that really, really hurt."

I sighed and rubbed my wrist.

Maybe Matsuda would know what was going on? He said that this was 'his' gallery after all… maybe he would know why the people here had faces made of internet avatars and whose words were speech bubbles.

I looked both ways this time, before heading after Matsuda, only to find several doorways, each leading to different sections with titles like 'The Brave and the Braless', 'Busting Bikinis' and 'Popsicle Paradise'.

On any other day I would have salivated at such extravagant and evocative titles!

"It is quite the beautiful piece, non?" Someone said from beside me.

I blinked.

Wait, someone _said_ as in they didn't say it in a speech bubble?

I turned and found a strange fellow standing beside me. They were unnaturally skinny and dressed in stylish turtle neck, skinny jeans and had a cigarette in one hand—oh and a beret that was covering their head! If I didn't know better I would say they were French!

I couldn't quite see their face, they were facing one of the nearby exhibits.

In this case it was… a large portrait of one of the seniors. A redheaded girl whose name… was… just at the tip… of my tongue.

She was leaning against a windowsill, and looking out forlornly into the distance.

It was… beautiful.

 _She_ was beautiful, and not just her lips, or her cheekbones—or the way her nose complimented her eyes—or those magnificent breasts that threatened to burst free from inside the shirt they were confined. It was all of those things and _more_.

…

…

…

…

I stared for a long, long time.

I don't really know how long.

"…She's beautiful." I found myself unable to look away from the girl in the photograph. "…are you an art critic?" I asked, my eyes locked onto the aquamarine of the girl in the photo.

I desperately wished she would look at me.

After a while of no response I managed to drag my eyes off the photo and looked at the person beside me, only to find that they had gone still.

Unnaturally still.

They turned their head toward me, almost mechanically.

I paled.

I found myself staring into the same pale white mask as the creature outside.

"The _piece_ is beautiful," The masked figure said, its voice coming from the mask, despite it not having a mouth. "As expected of Monsieur Matsuda, truly a genius ahead of his time! You agree, of course?"

It was a lot taller than me, I realized quite suddenly as it leaned forwards, looming over me, it's white mask inching closer and closer.

"Y-YES!" I all but shouted as I stumbled back, away from whatever the hell it was. "A genius! Amazing! Super amazing!"

The thing nodded, pleased with my response, before turning back toward the photo and seemingly forgetting my existence—which I was thankful for all the same.

I felt my heart hammering away in my chest as I quickly made my escape, glancing over my shoulder more than once to make sure it wasn't following me as I left the VIP section of the gallery.

By some miracle I spied Matsuda.

He saw me coming and waved off a bunch of the… picture-faced people.

"Issei!" He exclaimed with a beaming smile. "Come on, I'll show you my _private_ collection. You're gonna love it! I haven't shown anyone these ones!" He swung an arm around my shoulder and began to steer me toward a corded off door, giving me no time to say anything.

As we got closer a nearby 'critic' reached over and removed a crimson rope that hung across the doorway. I eyed the thing wearily as Matsuda dragged me close. It was nearly—no _completely_ identical to the one that had mildly traumatized me mere minutes ago from its clothes to its mask, to the length of the cigarette it held in one hand.

"Monsieur Matsuda," The Masked Critic said, giving a faint bow of the head as we walked on through and set the rope back into place behind us.

I found myself being lead down a large corridor that was getting progressively darker as we went down. The only real source of light were the spotlights that shone on the large pictures on the walls that were getting more and more risqué the further we went.

I found my eyes drawn to the portrait of a familiar kendo girl who was clad in only a sports bra and bloomers. My eyes followed the contours of her toned stomach, and the droplets of sweat that followed the faint lines that ran down her body until they reached her bloomers—which had ridden up noticeably and left little to the imagination.

In any other situation I would have been salivating at such a wonderful picture!

But this wasn't any other situation.

I forced myself to look away from the portrait as we passed it and listen to Matsuda who hadn't stopped talking the entire time we had been walking.

"—I've got to tell you, I'm surprised to find you here! I don't remember telling you or Motohama about this place," Matsuda said, his arm finally slipping from around my shoulders. "I was hoping to keep it secret you know? Adults don't really understand the artistic qualities of teenage girls, you know?"

I couldn't help but agree.

"So, where are we going?" I asked as we walked, my eyes lingering on every new portrait as we passed them, no matter how hard I tried to avoid it. With some reluctance I managed to look at the least interesting thing in the corridor. "You said your 'private collection'?"

Matsuda nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly! There is some stuff you just can't show to the plebs, you know? They just start whining about stupid things like it being 'immoral' or 'unethical' or 'illegal'." He scoffed contemptuously. "They just don't understand that photography is above such petty things! It's about capturing the truth as it is, and if that truth is a naked teenage girl, then that's what it is!"

I was torn halfway between being impressed by Matsuda's inspiring words as a fellow connoisseur of the female form, and being perplexed with how vehement he was about it.

Matsuda gave an exaggerated sigh and shrugged his shoulders as if to say 'But what can you do?'

"Still, I don't need to tell you such things, right Issei?" He asked, beaming at me as we walked. "You understand my blight more than anyone! Especially that bastard Motohama."

"I thought you liked Motohama?" I asked, my brow furrowing.

Matsuda scoffed. "Like him? I hate the bastard! Acting like he's all that just because he gets good grades—you know his 'ability'? It's not even a real thing!" he complained. "He told me that he snuck into the nurse's office and copied down the girls measurements for their uniforms!"

My jaw dropped. "W-what? N-no!" I protested. "You're lying! That's not true, it's impossible!"

Matsuda gave me a sympathetic look, reaching up and dragging his hand over his shaved head. "…I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you that painful truth, Issei. But the world isn't that magical, you know?"

That… that wasn't possible… and… and yet I knew it was the truth. I feel like deep down I had always known the truth… I felt betrayed.

It must have shown on my face.

Matsuda reached over and squeezed my shoulder. "I know, I felt the same way. But—it's okay. I have something that'll cheer you up!" he told me with a bright encouraging smile.

I gave him a tired smile and reached up, squeezing my hand down over his. "Thanks Matsuda. You're a true friend."

"I know."

We stared into each other's eyes for several long seconds, before it became uncomfortable and we both looked away.

As I looked away, I noticed that we weren't alone.

There were… over a dozen figures up ahead, spaced out and standing in front of the various pictures that hung on the corridor walls.

They were all masked critics.

"Say, Matsuda," I began, eyeing them warily as we got closer and closer. "What's up with these guys?"

"Hm?" Matsuda followed my gaze, before smiling. "Ah, them? They're my moderators!" he explained with a beaming smile. "Gotta keep the plebs in line somehow, you know? When they get uppity they help me deal with them! Just pretend they're not there," he said, waving a hand dismissively.

I nodded slowly. "You don't think there's anything weird about them?"

Matsuda gave me a funny look. "No, why?"

"No reason," I said quickly.

It was at that point that I noticed we were approaching the end of the corridor. On the end wall sat an innocuous looking door. It was completely unremarkable in every way shape and form.

Matsuda stepped forward and fishes something out of one of his suit pockets—a key from the looks of it. He slipped the key into the lock and turned the handle.

The door opened, and inside it was pitch black.

"After you," Matsuda said with an encouraging smile.

"No, no you first," I said with a strained smile.

I heard sounds of movement behind me.

I looked and saw that several of the masked critics had turned towards me.

"On second thoughts, I'll go first," I said quickly and stepped through the doorway.

My footsteps echoed loudly in the dark.

I heard a heavy thud as the door shut behind me, causing me to almost jump out of my skin.

"Relax," I heard Matsuda say from a few feet away. "Let there be light!" He exclaimed.

A soft light from high above came to life, revealing a pedestal in the middle of the room, on top of which sat a glass dome.

The light became brighter, and brighter, and as it did the glass began to refract the light onto the walls, illuminating everything.

I stiffened as I found myself in what could only be described as a shrine.

The walls were covered with pictures from the very floor up into the darkness from where the light shone. Every single picture different except for one specific element.

They were of the same girl—a familiar girl—a girl I couldn't help but know as she was as popular in school as she was cute, and she was really, really cute.

I stared wordlessly up at a massively oversized portrait depicting said girl in little more than her underwear—the upper half of which was entirely pointless as she was as flat as a board. Her snow white hair was damp and her adorable—normally expressionless amber eyes darkened in the barest hints of irritation as she stared out at me.

"Isn't she perfect?" Matsuda said as he walked over toward the massive portrait, adoration in his eyes as he set a hand onto the surface of it.

"I mean Koneko-chan is cute, I guess," I said after a few moments, glancing away from the portraits giant accusatory eyes. "I wouldn't say she was _perfect_ though," I said as I found my gaze wandering around the room.

There must have been… hundreds of photos of the snow-haired first year. Some were as innocent as her sitting on a bench and eating some sort of sweet. While others included panty shots, her stretching in bloomers—several dozen of her in the school swimsuit in various poses and angles.

Matsuda had always been a self-proclaimed lolicon—I had always assumed it was mostly joking.

Clearly he hadn't been.

As I stared at his 'private collection' I heard Matsuda mutter under his breath, "… what would you know? You're just a tactless lech."

I frowned at that, but said nothing as my attention was suddenly drawn to one of the smaller pictures to the side. "Woah!" I exclaimed, Matsuda's words quickly forgotten. "Is that Koneko-chan cosplaying?!"

I couldn't help but smile gleefully as I found myself confronted with a picture of the adorable first year wearing what could only have been Nagato Yuki cosplay! She even had the glasses! She was sporting an adorable glower—as if she wasn't happy that she looked so cute in her cosplay.

I spun around. "Matsuda, you have to let me have a copy of this one!" I demanded, pointing toward the picture of Koneko walking out of an apartment in her amazing cosplay.

"No." Matsuda said instantly, scowling and folding his arms across his chest. "Weren't you listening? This is my _private_ collection. You should be grateful that I'm letting you even look upon the majesty of this room!"

"…Stingy…"

Matsuda rolled his eyes. "Anyway, here! The centrepiece of my glorious collection!" he exclaimed, stepping toward the centre of the room, where the pedestal sat, atop of which the glass dome reflected the light on everything else.

As he got closer, the shadow behind him got bigger and bigger until it eclipsed the whole wall, blotting out the various pictures of Koneko that he had taken.

I stepped closer as well, and the bright reflection off the glass dome burned my eyes. It was so bright—so golden that I could not see what laid beneath it.

Matsuda grasped the handle atop the dome. "Behold!" he exclaimed and tore it away!

The room plunged into darkness behind us as the light from above shone directly down on the uncovered pedestal.

I leaned forward, my eyes wide.

What could Matsuda's ultimate treasure be?

Braless?!

Cameltoe?!

Complete nudity?!

The light faded and…

"…It's panties," I uttered dully, staring down at a pair of middle school girl sized white underwear with a cute blue kitty cat design on the front.

A long moment passed. "Matsuda… did you steal Koneko-chan's underwear?" I asked, looking up at him with a mixture of pity and concern.

Matsuda's expression twisted into something ugly and contemptuous. "How dare you?!"

I took several steps back as he steps around the pedestal, his eyes suddenly sulphurous and burning with loathing.

"You're just a filthy pervert! What do you know about art?" He demanded to know. "I am an artist! I create works of art!"

His lips pulled back in a vicious snarl and to my horror his features began to bubble and twist and his voice became distorted as it left his lips.

"I of **FER** you this gl **IMP** se of **P** er **FECTI** on, and **TH** is is h **OW** you tr **EAT** me? With **P** i **TY** and s **CO** r **N**?"

His skin had begun to discolour and his face split as his mouth had become far, far too big. Matsuda buckled forward and let out a ghastly howl as several thickly muscled green arms tore out of the back of his suit, slick with purple ichor.

I scrambled backwards into the dark of the room until my back hit a wall.

Matsuda's body was shrouded in the dark, and I could only just see the outline of his body as the sickening sounds of bones breaking and twisting filled the darkness as more arms burst forth from his body, and to my horror, his voice was joined by two others, slightly out of sync.

"M-matsuda," I stammered. "I-I-I was just joking!" I told him, pleading desperately as I clutched at the wall behind me, pressing myself flat against it.

The… the _thing_ that had been wearing Matsuda's skin went still.

My instincts screamed at me and I lunged to the side. There was a sudden rush of sound and my entire world exploded into thunderous quaking as a massive fist the size of a basketball smashed into, and then through the wall where my head had been mere moments before.

I scrambled to get to my feet, my hands scraping against the floor as I desperately put distance between the monstrosity behind me and any part of my body that I didn't want to lose—funnily enough _all_ of them.

Light flooded into the room as the wall that had been smashed through collapsed, revealing the hulking monstrosity that my friend had become.

His skin had turned a sickly green colour, and he grown by several feet, as well as put on a metric ton of muscle. He was completely unrecognizable. His head had mutated, growing several extra mouths on either side of his face, along with half a dozen milky white eyes—dear god and the arms. He had arms for _days_. Twelve days to be exact, exactly ten more than I was comfortable with him having. A massive brass chain with a thick lock at the bottom hung around his—his I don't know what the hell to call it because he didn't even _have_ a neck anymore!

My mind raced as the hulking mass of Matsuda's body turned toward me, half a dozen of his fists balled with the corresponding muscles bulging with throbbing veins.

The situation was hopeless.

Is this what despair felt like?

I didn't like it.

I didn't like it at all.

I… I didn't want to die.

Not like this.

Not before I got to third base with my prophesied black widow!

My fists balled tightly— painfully so. I felt my nails pierce through my palms and draw blood.

No.

This wasn't the end of my story!

I—no.

 _He_ had a weakness.

A fatal weakness that he had made the mistake of showing me!

I dashed toward my objective even as his massive form lunged at me.

I snatched the pair of panties off the pedestal and held them up threateningly.

"STOP RIGHT THERE, OR THE PANTIES GET IT!"

The monster froze—his fists mere inches from my face.

I was rocked backwards onto the balls of my heels as the sheer force of his punches rebuffed me with wind. I stumbled backwards. I felt his hot, rancid breath wash over me and put several feet between us as I held the panties tightly in my hands, threatening to tear them.

Thankfully the thing in front of me had apparently never attempted to tear underwear in two—it was near impossible to do with just your hands! But I wasn't going to give him the chance to figure it out.

The massive mouth at the front of the things head opened and a rumbling voice slipped out. "GIVE ME THE PANTIES **.** "

"Hell no."

I slowly stepped around the massive green figure, my eyes trained on it as I inched toward the doorway. The milky white eyes that had formed all over his head stared at me, and saliva drools from the massive mouths that took up the remainder of the space.

As I slowly backed out through the doorway as several of the mouths he had grown spoke in unison, distorting their voice as they echoed against each other, each emphasising a different syllable of each word.

" **ARE YOU DUMB ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THOSE PANTIES WILL PROTECT YOU FOREVER?** "

I gave a forced laugh despite the fact that every inch of my body was trembling in fear. "They'll protect me as long as they need to," I said and slammed the door shut—and just in time.

I leapt backwards as several dents rapidly appeared in the thick steel of the door.

I turned and fled, paying no heed to the masked figures that lined the corridor, even as the tortured sound of metal being mangled filled my ears followed by the ground quaking as Matsu— _Mon_ suda's massive form smashed through the doorway as if it were tissue paper.

" **STOP HIM.** "

I managed several more feet before they did just that.

Spindly black fingers wrapped around my wrist and squeezed down.

I let out a scream of agony as I felt the bones beneath the steel-like grip give way and pain lanced up my arm,

My hand went limp as the muscles gave way and another set of thin black fingers plucked the young girls panties from my grip.

It hurt.

It hurt so badly that I was sure I was going to die from the pain alone.

I could do nothing as the masked shadow that had caught me by the wrist lifted it up, and up until I found myself dangling in agony. I desperately clawed at the hand clamped down on my shattered wrist, trying to pull myself and ease the pressure as my vision began to blot out with splotches of white as the sheer pain began to overwhelm me.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the hulking green monster that had been my friend, its body covered with white dust and plaster. One of its hand hands reached up and brushed away the plaster as it lumbered towards where the Masked Critic held me.

"M-Matsuda," I pleaded desperately, my eyes watering from the pain. "P-please we're friends!"

" **FRIENDS?** "

The thin fingers wrapped around my wrist let go as a massive green hand reached over and clamped down on the top of my head.

I almost blacked out from the pain as Monsuda squeezed down and lifted me up. I reached up and attempted to pull myself up with my working arm even as my head felt like it was about to pop off from my shoulders.

The pain—the pain was too much! I was hearing voices from the ringing in my ears!

" **WE AREN'T FRIENDS ISSEI. YOU STOLE EVERYTHING FROM ME.** " Monsuda snarled at me through its many mouths. " **I WAS A STAR! THEY ALL LOVED ME, AND THEN I MET YOU, AND IT WAS ALL OVER!** "

Through the pain I tried to make sense of the monsters words, but none came. It was all too much. My head felt like it was about to crack open, and there wasn't anything I could do.

He was too strong.

He—he wasn't Matsuda. He wasn't going to listen to anything I said.

He wanted to hurt me—I knew that much—and I didn't know why.

The hand gripping my head moved, and a second later I found myself tumbling through the air, before hitting the floor—painfully—and skidding and rolling across the floor until I came to a stop.

I laid there, gasping for breath.

This… this wasn't fair. This wasn't fair at all. What had I done to deserve any of this?

I felt the floor rumble as Monsuda lumbered closer.

I shut my eyes tight and tears spilt over as I clutched my broken arm to my chest. My heart felt like it was going to tear its way out of my chest.

My head was ringing from the pain.

Ringing—so loudly.

Perhaps it was a blessing.

I couldn't hear myself think.

Maybe that was for the best.

I just… I just wanted it to be over.

I just wanted… whoever it was laughing to stop.

" **WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?** "

I wasn't laughing—was I?

I cracked open my eyes, my vision blurry from the pain and tears.

My chest was shaking and my mouth wouldn't close as laughter without restraint seemed to slip from my lips.

Ah, so I was.

How funny.

This whole thing was just… hilarious. Of course it wasn't a laughing matter. I was going to die. I understood that, and yet…

I smiled up at Monsuda, struggling to my feet with some difficulty as I clutched my broken arm to my chest.

"It's just… it's just funny, you know?" I managed to say through my laughter. "Do—do you remember the first thing I ever said to you?"

The green monstrosity before me stilled.

"I… haha… I asked…" I took a moment to get my laughter under control as I straightened up. "I asked if… if you were okay," I told Monsuda, managing a watery smile despite myself. "I asked if you were okay… because you'd been kicked off the track team for stealing Murayama's panties."

" **NO, IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT. EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT.** "

I laughed.

I just laughed.

I laughed so hard that I was certain that I had gone insane—I must have. I was seeing butterflies! This was probably going to be the end, but at the very least I could make sure that he didn't enjoy it.

I smiled up at my friend.

Monsuda raged, a howl of sheer fury tearing from his lips as he raised his fists—all twelve of them, no doubt with the intention of turning me into a smear on the floor.

And then, I heard it.

Through the ringing that had been driving me slowly crazy.

A voice that had been speaking to me all along.

" _How utterly, utterly inelegant."_

" _Is this truly how you wanted the play to end?"_

" _If you do nothing then the curtain will fall!"_

" _Surely you do not want that?"_

No. No I didn't.

I was beaten, broken and barely breathing. But I wasn't ready to give up.

I clenched my fists—both of them—that was a mistake. Pain exploded in my wrist.

Wonderful, wonderful life affirming pain.

" _Exquisite! I have heeded your resolve."_

" _If it be thy ardent desire then vow to me, for I am thou and thou art I."_

" _Thou who art willing to perform all erotic acts for thine own pleasure!"_

" _If the lust shall be thy sin, then make it thine own!"_

" _Call upon the name you know to be mine."_

" _Release thy restraint and show them all the strength of thine libido!"_

The ground around me shattered and Monsuda and his goons were smashed aside as blue flames erupted from my body, erupting into an inferno that threatened to burn the world to cinder.

As the world burned, a name came to the front of my mind—a name I had never heard, and yet known all along.

I spoke the name.

"Faunus."

The flames twisted in upon themselves and as they burned away, they revealed a large cloven hoofed figure who I recognized, though I had never seen it before.

It was twelve feet tall with both the head of a goat and the lower legs of one too. It had two massive horns that curled back and thick black fur that covered its body from the waist down. Its upper body was lithe and its hands were clawed, one of which rested across its body, casually holding the elbow of the other arm as it rested its cheek against its hand.

It stood there, between Monsuda and I, floating several feet off the ground.

Though its eyes were on the enemy, I felt its attention on me.

Faunus spoke, its voice silky smooth and beguiling. " _I am the one who resides within you. Speak your desires and together we shall achieve them and more._ "

I let out a soft laugh. "Kick his ass."

" **KICK WHOSE ASS?** " Monsuda snarled. It lifted a thick trunk of an arm and pointed toward Faunus. " **KILL IT.** "

The masked critics drew to their full height, and then they twisted and bloated, before exploding, the shadows that composed their bodies dispersing and revealing their true nature.

Several massive red skinned ogres appeared where the masked critics had been. They were a head shorter than Monsuda, but just as wide, with bulging muscles and curved up horns on their bald heads. They bared their teeth at Faunus—and what teeth they were, numerous and sharp.

The closest ogre let out a roar of challenge and charged at Faunus.

Faunus regarded the brute and did nothing until it was within arm's reach, and then it moved.

It ducked down and lunged forward, and as it did, I saw something appear in its hand. A second later the ogre was sent smashing into the others, knocking them all down once more.

I stared in wonder at the back of Faunus as it casually twirled what appeared to be a flute, before it lifted the instrument to its lips and blew.

Pandemonium ensued and I could only watch as the ogres turned on Monsuda and the monster was forced to defend itself as its own allies turned on it.

Monsuda roared in anger and its twelve fists blurred as they smashed into the red ogres.

The Ogres exploded into a writhing mass of shadow and dark crimson, before quickly dissipating into the ether.

" **I'LL KILL YOU!** "

What relief I had found in the appearance of Faunus quickly evaporated as Monsuda's hulking form barrelled down the corridor towards me, the building quaking with every step it took.

Faunus brought the pipe to its lips.

A haunting melody filled the corridor and Monsuda stumbled, falling forward onto its many hands and its two knees—but despite that, it continued to crawl forward, it's manty gnashing teeth growling out promises of pain and death.

"… **I…KILL…YOU…** " Monsuda gasped out as visible wounds began to appear on its skin—small at first, but becoming progressively larger and larger as it struggled against whatever Faunus was doing.

Monsuda collapsed against the floor, the wounds on its body weeping purple ichor. It's many white eyes seemed to stare at me, loathing and anguish in them, even as it continued to struggle. " **...ISSEI**."

It was then that I noticed that Monsuda hadn't been trying to get to me—or Faunus. Laying several feet in front of him were the panties that one of the shadows had dropped when they had been blown back.

"S-stop," I said, my voice drowned out by the melody that was killing my friend. "Stop it!" I shouted and ran past Faunus.

I snatched up the panties on the ground with my good hand and dropped to my knees in front of Matsuda. "Here, here, they're here," I said, my voice desperate as I stuffed the panties into one of his hands.

The massive hand clenched down on the soft, unwashed cotton underwear.

Matsuda's body began to shrink and his extra limbs and facial features seemed to evaporate into thick streamers of shadow. In moments, Matsuda laid there—naked as the day he had been born.

It was nothing I hadn't seen before if I was being honest.

"…Issei…" Matsuda said my name weakly as he laid there, Koneko's panties clutched in his hand. "I… I'm sorry… I just…"

"Shh." I set my good hand down on the top of his head. "It's okay. I understand."

I felt Faunus' gaze on the back of my head for several long moments, and then it was gone, leaving me alone with my friend.

Slowly, over the course of several minutes, Matsuda seemed to manage to pull himself together.

We found ourselves just sitting there in the ruins of the corridor, on the fractured concrete. The only light coming from the spotlights on the walls that were still functioning—which were not many.

I had no idea what to say.

"…was that… really the first thing you said to me?" Matsuda asked after a while, glancing up at me.

I reached up and scratched my cheek. "I'm pretty sure it was. I mean, we might have said hi before that at one point or another."

Matsuda let out a soft laugh and clenched his fists. "That's… that's funny. Why don't I remember that?"

I shrugged my good shoulder. "It was a while ago, huh?"

"I… I never told you why I stole the panties, did I?" Matsuda asked after several moments.

I shook my head. "I thought it was obvious," I admitted.

Matsuda gave me a tired smile.

"I was a star in middle school. I was the fastest in every track meet… no one was close, and… and then I wasn't. No matter how hard I trained or how fast I ran… she was always faster."

"She?" I asked, my brow furrowing.

"It… it doesn't matter," Matsuda said and looked down at the panties in his hand. "Here. You have these. I don't need them anymore."

I stared down at the panties in his hand. "Uh… no thanks. I'm sure you have… sentimental memories with them."

If I hadn't needed to touch them to save my life, I wouldn't have. I knew exactly what they'd probably been used for.

"No. I'm serious," Matsuda said, his voice firmer. He grabbed my good hand and stuffed the panties into it. "I want you to have them."

I winced as he used his other hand to close them around the panties. "Oh… wow… thanks Matsuda," I said, trying to sound sincere.

I was going to have to disinfect my hand before I touched myself with it again—both my hands really—not that I'd be using the other for much.

"I'd… better… get going…" I said awkwardly, and with a pained wince, I pushed myself onto my feet.

I said that but… I didn't really have anywhere else to go.

I wasn't in any rush to go back out into that… nightmare world.

"I'll walk you out," Matsuda said with a tired smile as he stepped up to me and slipped an arm around my waist, holding me up and helping me hobble along.

We made our way out of the VIP section slowly.

"This is your blog, isn't it?" I asked as I looked around at the various picture-faced people meandering around, as well as the masked critics—who thankfully were no longer hostile.

Matsuda gave a soft laugh. "Yeah… I'm pretty proud of it," he admitted with a smile over at me. "I never told you or Motohama about it—I'm sorry for that."

I shook my head. "It's fine. I get it. You'd probably get lynched if the girls knew you owned it, huh?"

He nodded rapidly.

We kept walking, and as we got closer to the front door, I noticed something odd to the side. Standing in the middle of the floor, unsupported by anything was an empty, white doorway, at the bottom of which a faint blue light seemed to shine.

With some effort I managed to disentangle myself from my friend—or whatever version of my friend this was.

"It's… been an experience Matsuda," I said after a moment, offering my friend a smile, before lifting my good hand, balling my fingers around the panties it held and offering my fist to Matsuda.

He said nothing, but his fist gently nudged against mine.

As I hobbled over toward the mysterious doorway, I couldn't help but wonder.

Since when had Matsuda had a tattoo over his heart?

—~—


	3. Prologue: Chapter Three

—~—

The Blue Velvet Room had gone through a minor renovation since my last visit, I couldn't help but notice as I stepped through the veil. The lighting was better—clearer. It wasn't quite so gloomy anymore, instead it had a certain pleasant atmosphere that had me relaxing without a second thought despite the ordeal I had just gone through.

The dark wooden surfaces that made up the bar, and the various lounge frames had been polished and buffed to a mirror sheen, and not a speck of dust could be seen. It hadn't even been a full day, had it?

"It seems you have undergone quite the ordeal since our last meeting." Igor said from behind the bar, his veiny eyes staring at me unblinkingly. "You've awoken to your potential, and quite quickly at that."

I lifted my good hand and gave a small wave. I gave him a tired smile as I made my way over and slipped onto the bar stool in front of him, carefully cradling my broken wrist against my stomach as I did.

As I sat there, a stray thought occurred to me.

"Say," I began, "I was dreaming last time I was here right? So… does that mean I'm passed out somewhere in Kuoh?" I frowned. "Does that mean this entire thing has been a dream?"

"Your experience was real indeed," Igor said as he folded his hands atop one another and rested his chin against them. "As I told you during your last visit, this Blue Velvet room exists between mind and matter, reality and dream."

"So I'm not laying in a gutter in Kuoh?" I repeated for clarification.

Igor stared at me for several seconds. "No, you most certainly are not."

His eyes drew down to my wrist that I cradled against my body. "Does your wrist pain you so?"

Obviously it did. It had been broken, the pain I felt every time I moved it told me as much.

I gave a test flex of my fingers and braced myself for the pain I knew to be coming.

Only to find that my fingers moved and the sharp pain that I had grown to expect absent. "Huh," I lifted my hand up and turned it over. "…Cool. Did you do that?"

Igor shifted one of his hands from beneath his chin and gestured at the room around us. "The maladies of the body and mind hold no sway within these walls."

I nodded slowly, processing his words.

So if I was hurt and I came here I would get healed? That was handy. Almost like resting at an Inn in an RPG! But what did he mean about 'maladies of the mind'?

I found myself staring down at the glossy bar between Igor and I. I pondered the question. I had been utterly terrified and exhausted by the end of everything. I had felt as though if I had stopped I would have collapsed, curled into a ball and never gotten up again.

And yet… I didn't feel bad at all anymore.

"Say, Igor," I said after a few moments, "What was that place? It was… scary."

Igor looked at me, his bulging eyes tinged with fascination. "Truly? Such a place invokes fear in you?" He leaned forward, his long pointed nose looming ever closer to me. "Tell me, what did such a place look like to one such as you?"

What did it look like?

It looked… "Bleak," I told Igor honestly, "It was so… empty and monotone. Until I found Matsuda's Gallery I thought… I thought it would go on forever.

I told him about everything I had seen.

The Red Sky.

The White Buildings.

The Shades…

…and the Shadows.

I shuddered as I remembered that monstrosity that had formed from the shadows that the dark sun had cast.

"Fascinating."

I looked at Igor in confusion.

"The world you saw, it has many names," he told me. "Purgatory. Arcadia. Naraku. Shambhala. Zion. Each name as meaningful as they are meaningless. In truth, it is nothing more than the manifestation of humankind's worldly desires." He paused, regarding me for the longest moment. "How curious, to one overflowing with desire such as you, it appears as an unnatural, empty world."

I frowned. I couldn't tell if that was supposed to be a compliment or not—or if I should take it as one even if it wasn't. What did that even mean?

I didn't think he was right. A world of desire wouldn't look like that, surely?

A world of desire should look like a paradise, filled with cute girls—with big breasts and an aversion to clothes! With loose standards and looser morals!

I found myself salivating at the very notion.

Maybe I had been in the wrong part of town? I hadn't really explored that far had I? I mean… I ran for a while but I didn't really explore much. I hadn't been paying much attention to anything but trying to get away.

I suppose I could sort of see it… Matsuda's gallery had certainly been filled with beautiful girls—even if they had just been photos. I hadn't even seen everything that was to offer! I hadn't browsed through either the Captivating Cleavage or Unexpected Upskirts!

Eventually I found myself drawn out of my wild imagination and found that Igor had been patiently observing me.

"Sorry," I said, giving a nervous laugh and scratching the back of my head.

A moment later I remembered what I was holding in said hand and almost dislocated my arm in my rush to stop it from touching me.

I blinked.

It didn't feel like I was holding Koneko's panties anymore.

I brought my hand up and opened it.

There, sitting on my palm was a tiny black piece of plastic—something I'd seen Matsuda pull in and out of his camera a dozen or so times. It was… a memory stick? I think it was called that.

I lifted it up to my eyes, my brow furrowed.

Why had the panties become a memory stick?

"May I?"

Igor extends a gloved hand half way across the table.

I hesitated for a moment, before reaching across the bar and dropping it into his palm.

Igor plucked the memory card from his palm with two fingers and held it up. "It seems you have managed to obtain a Shard of Desire during your ordeal. How fortuitous, had you not come into contact with it, you may have been lost."

I felt a chill run down my spine.

"What do you mean?" I asked him. I dreaded the answer he would give, but I wanted to know all the same.

Igor closed his hand around the memory stick, shielding it from my view. "At the core of every human soul there is a spark of desire. It is what gives purpose and meaning. To deny desire is to deny your humanity." Igor paused. "Some contain greater desire than others." He opened his hand, and I watched as a silvery crystal the size of a golf ball floated up off the palm of his hand casting an ethereal glow that seemed to wash away all other light. "If a human does not desire, they become empty."

I stared at it, fascinated—enraptured by the sheen it gave, the depths I could see within it.

I wanted it.

I found my hand reaching toward it.

It suddenly vanished as Igor's glove closed around it.

When he opened his hand again, it was gone and the memory card had returned.

I blinked slowly, as if coming out of a daze.

Igor dropped the memory card back into my hand and smiled at me patiently. "But those who desire too much, become monsters. A lesson to remember, perhaps?"

I stared down at the memory card in my hand—weary of it now that I had seen its true form. But as I looked at it, I felt none of the overwhelming desire that had taken over. To me it just looked like a plain old piece of plastic—I had more desire for Koneko's panties than for this dinky little thing.

"It seems we have almost run out of time," Igor mused. "But I sense you have more questions."

I had questions. I had a _lot_ of questions.

How the hell had I ended up there? I'd just been minding my own business, and then suddenly… suddenly I was there.

I voiced my concern to Igor in as many words.

A troubled look overcame Igor. "You were drawn in by a being of great and terrible power. A being who's shrouded you from observation." Igor stared at me intently. "The same being that I believe lead you to this Velvet Room."

I felt a familiar pit open in my stomach. "Do… do you know who it is?" I asked as my gaze dropped to the bar and I found myself awkwardly fiddling with the memory card.

"Truthfully, I cannot say, nor could I their purpose for you. I believe, however, that they will continue to draw you into the World of Desire."

My head snapped up, my eyes wide and fearful.

I didn't want to go back! I hated that place! It was horrible! It was the worst!

" _Why do you fear? As long as I am at your side no foe, no matter how great may stand before us._ "

I stiffened for a brief moment as Faunus' voice whispered into my mind. I could feel its presence looming, both there and not there.

It felt… good.

Comforting.

I felt as though a burden had shifted and its weight had vanished from my shoulders.

I gave a laugh. "I suppose you're right," I agreed before looking at Igor with a smile. "So when it happens, how do we get back out? You helped us out this time, right? Can you do that again?"

"If you find yourself once more trapped, return to the Demesne from where you gained possession of the Shard." Igor told me, gesturing with his gloved hands. "With each successive Shard you obtain, a new path shall be forged."

I nodded slowly, digesting the information.

"So…" I began awkwardly. "I've been hearing voices, and a goat demon appeared to save me from death… Could you explain that to me?"

" _I find that remark offensive._ "

I felt Faunus glare at me, despite the fact it wasn't there.

Igor chuckled.

It was creepy.

"Perhaps another time. It seems you are about to wake up."

I blinked. What? No I… wasn't? I blinked again, and found that my ability to keep my eyes open was rapidly failing.

I heard the faint sound of footsteps behind me as my eyelids got heavier and heavier.

"Rest well. Your journey has only just begun."

"Hn… n-no… not… done… talking…" I grunted out as I struggled to remain upright and awake—or asleep? I didn't quite understand. My resistance briefly lapsed and I felt my head thud heavily against the bars surface.

My head jerked up less than a second later and I blinked rapidly and… I found myself sitting on the pavement, my back against a wall.

I sat there for several long minutes as I just tried to get my bearings.

I absently noted that it was night time, and that it was _freezing._ A shiver ran down my spine as a brisk gust of wind rolled down the street. It was night time—really late from how quiet it was. The only source of light was from the occasional street light.

I slowly pulled myself onto my feet and looked around to get my bearings.

It looked… vaguely familiar. I was pretty sure I had been here before.

But… was this a dream? I didn't remember walking here—but then what was the last thing I remembered before everything went crazy? I had been walking down the street and… that was it.

I let out a sigh and fished my phone out of my pocket, only to find that it's battery was dead.

"Super." I grumbled as I stuffed it back into my pocket.

I took a moment to really look around—at least to find a street sign.

As I did, I realized that I recognized the house that I had been leaning against.

"Matsuda's house?" I murmured, my brow furrowing in confusion.

When had I… ….was this his… what did Igor call it? Desmonda?

That was a weird name.

All the lights were off. He and his parents must have already gone to sleep.

I shivered and pulled my blazer tighter around me, before turning and beginning to quickly walk. I had at least half an hours walk to get home. If I managed to get to there without catching a cold it'd be a miracle!

Still…

I lifted my right hand up and opened it to reveal a small plastic memory card. "…So it was real?"

I hesitate for a moment.

"…Faunus?"

Seconds went by with no response.

" _Shouldn't we be getting home before you catch a cold?_ " An irritated voice filled my ears.

I startled and spun around, looking for it.

No sign of the goat demon.

I _felt_ Faunus scowl. " _I am no demon. It would do you well to remember as much, or you may find yourself in dire straits."_

"Wait, did you just read my mind?" I asked, my eyebrows raising up.

" _We share the same mind,_ " Faunus told me. " _Or have you already forgotten thy vow?_ "

My vow?

I remembered.

"I am thou," I murmured.

" _Thou art I._ "

"I hadn't realized it was so literal," I admitted, and began to walk once more, doing my best to ignore the cold. "So, what are you exactly?" I asked aloud as I walked down the quiet empty street.

" _I am a Persona. The manifestation of your inner self, the strength of your heart given form._ "

"No, I meant what _are_ you? You said you weren't a goat demon," I pointed out.

Faunus went silent.

"Faunus?"

No response.

"Jeez, you really don't like being called a goat demon, huh?" I remarked—to which I received a strange look from a couple who were walking toward me from a few dozen meters.

They took one look at me and crossed the street.

I sighed and pulled my blazer tighter around me and focused on happy, toasty warm thoughts—like how amazing Murayama looked in a sports bra after working out! I smiled happily, closing my eyes briefly as I remembered the picture.

I suppose it hadn't _all_ been bad after all.

I lifted the memory card in my hand up and peered at it.

I couldn't help but wonder what was on it.

Despite my estimate I managed to get home more than an hour later. I could barely stop shivering as I opened the door.

I made my way up to the bathroom, turned the hot water on full and just stood under the shower until my skin was an angry pink colour.

It felt wonderful.

I would have stayed under there forever, except eventually my hunger won out over my desire to stay under the deliciously warm water.

I got out, dried off and made my way to the kitchen.

I stared intently at the contents of the fridge, considering what to make for the first time ever. My eyes roamed over the contents intently as I weighed my options.

A spark of inspiration struck.

I snapped my fingers. "Perfect!"

I quickly gathered all the necessary ingredients, before dumping them into a bowl.

I gave it a taste test.

I frowned.

No it was… missing something.

I stared at the pantry for the longest moment.

"Aha!"

Another fit of inspiration struck!

I picked out a bottle of sugar and carefully used a spoon to sprinkle some on top of my cereal.

"Perfect-er!" I declared happily, and made my way to the lounge room, dropping into a chair and putting on something to watch.

It turned out that nothing good was on, it was probably for the best.

After finishing my breakfast for dinner, I dumped the bowl in the sink and headed to bed.

I found myself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling expectantly.

I was ready to drift off to sleep and wake up in the Velvet Room—I wanted to finish my talk with Igor. There was so much I still didn't understand!

At some point I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew my alarm was going off.

"Onii-chan wake up!"

I stared at the ceiling, irritation bubbling beneath the surface.

"Oniii-cchhaaaan! Breakfast is ready!"

It felt like I had barely gotten any sleep.

"If… if you don't get up I-I'll kiss you!"

I reached over and blindly tried to hit the snooze button.

"Kyaaaah! Ecchi!" My alarm clock cried out as I pressed the wrong button.

I grumbled as I pulled myself out of bed and grabbed the alarm clock off my dresser. I stared down at it, a picture of 'my' cute little sister blushing and glaring at me adorably.

I sighed. "I can't stay mad at you," I told her and set it aside as I forced myself onto my feet.

I got dressed and made my way down to the kitchen.

I opened the fridge and stared at the contents again.

"Hm."

I eyed the milk.

"Do I dare have cereal for dinner _and_ breakfast?" I wondered aloud.

Somehow the thought wasn't as appetising as I imagined it to be.

I made toast, and in true anime fashion left the house with half a slice hanging out of my mouth.

The morning air was brisk, but nothing compared to the arctic tundra that I had experienced in the early hours.

The trip to school was uneventful. To my disappointment I did not run into a cute transfer student. But then again, I didn't get sucked into a nightmare world, so I chalked it up as a win.

"Yo!" A familiar voice called out to me.

I looked over and saw Motohama lazily waving at me from over by the usual meeting spot.

I waved back. "How'd the peep session go?" I asked, grinning despite myself.

"It didn't go anywhere!" Motohama complained, adjusting his glasses in irritation. "Someone must have tipped them off—we were super sneaky about getting into position, but they found us straight away! I barely got away from those sadists!" he whined. "I bet it was that damned Kiryuu! She's always getting in our way!"

I laughed.

"Say, where's Matsuda?" I asked, glancing around. "He's usually here before either of us."

Motohama shrugged a shoulder. "He said he had some stuff to take care of. Didn't really say what."

That gave me pause. I had wanted to talk with Matsuda about what had happened in the World of Desire. I had figured he'd want to talk about what happened as well. Was he purposefully avoiding me? That… I didn't like the sound of that.

"I'm going to go find him," I said suddenly. "See you in class," I said, giving Motohama a brief wave before turning and quickly making my way to… nowhere in particular.

Where would Matsuda have gone?

To the photography club maybe? No—that wouldn't make sense. The clubrooms were usually locked until after school. Only the club presidents had the keys for them.

Soon after beginning my search I stumbled upon a familiar pink haired kendo club member. She was talking animatedly with a mousy haired girl from another class whose name I vaguely remembered to be Fuyumi.

"Katase!" I called out, lifting a hand to wave and giving her a bright smile.

Katase's bright smile wilted and died as I got closer. She let out a resigned sigh and turned toward me, whilst her friend took one look at me and looked like she wanted to run away. "What do you want Hyoudou?" she asked, her voice exasperated. "Just because you told us about your friends doesn't mean we're friends now."

I waved my hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah. Have you seen Matsuda?"

"Not since yesterday. Was that all?" She turned away, dismissing me with a cold shoulder. So cruel, Katase-chan! I thought we were allies!

I clucked my tongue and turned away, only for Katase's friend to speak up.

"Uhm… I think I saw him talking with Tsubasa-senpai," Fuyumi said shyly, glancing at me briefly before glancing away and gingerly reaching up to brush her medium length hair behind her ear.

I turned toward Fuyumi and she shrunk slightly under my gaze. "Tsubasa-senpai?" I echoed, my brow furrowing as I ran through my mental list of all the girls in the academy.

"What is Tsubasa-senpai doing talking to someone like that pervert? Doesn't she know he might have diseases?" Katase asked aghast as she looked at her friend.

Fuyumi nodded seriously. "I-I was worried! B-but I didn't want to say anything."

Tsubasa… Tsubasa… that name sounded familiar. I felt like I should know her. "Ah!" My eyes widened as a memory of a bishounen faced blue haired girl flashed through my mind.

Before I could ask anything else, Katase made shooing gestures with her hand. "We told you what you wanted to know so go away."

I gave a faint laugh and nodded. "Right! Thanks, Katase-chan, Fuyumi-chan!" I said, smiling at the two before I left them alone.

The bell for class rang soon after putting an end to my search for Matsuda.

I quickly began to make my way to class—hoping to speak with my friend before class started.

Unfortunately, by the time I arrived Matsuda had already taken his seat and the teacher was impatiently waiting to start.

He smiled at me as I sat down in my seat—but we didn't have a chance to talk before the teacher began to speak.

Throughout the lesson, I couldn't help but cast sidelong glances at him.

He seemed… fine.

Normal really.

As if that crazy thing that had happened yesterday hadn't happened at all.

I blinked slowly.

Did… did he not remember?

Could it be that… the Matsuda that I had fought and reconciled with… hadn't been the real Matsuda at all?

I found myself so engrossed in trying to figure out the truth that I didn't hear as the teacher called out my name the first time—or apparently the second or third.

I did however feel the piece of chalk bounce off the top of my head. I snapped out of my reverie and instantly apologised. "Sorry sensei!"

The dour faced teacher glowered at me, his arms folded sternly across his chest and his foot rapidly tapping on the ground.

I looked past him and saw that he had drawn a weirdly proportioned five point star on the board with small curves on the inside of each point—each of which was labelled with a letter.

"Come up here and work out the sum of the angles A through E."

I grimaced.

I hadn't been listening.

I reluctantly got up out of my chair—picking up the chalk that had been thrown at me, and making my way to the blackboard.

I stood in front of the drawing and stared at it blankly. It may as well have been in another language.

"Well?" The teacher prompted me. "What's the answer? Don't tell me you weren't listening—if you can't at least prove you've been paying attention you'll be taking cleaning duty after class."

"No!" I practically shouted, before coughing. "I mean, I know what the answer is!" I insisted.

The teacher gestured at the board. "Then, by all means. Show us."

I stared at the drawing for several long seconds before deciding to just guess.

I wrote 180°.

I braced myself for a berating.

"…Take your seat."

I blinked owlishly. "…Wait I got it right?"

He gave me an annoyed look. "You did, but clearly it was a guess. Cleaning duty."

"Let me do another one! I can prove it wasn't a guess!" I protested.

To my distress he did let me do another, and I got it wrong.

I dropped back down into my seat and slumped forward, my forehead banging painfully against my desk.

I heard several giggles and laughs but I was too distraught to care.

Class eventually ended and everyone began to leave. A male student clapped me on the shoulder and boisterously thanked me for taking their spot. I grumbled. I would have cursed them but to be honest, I didn't really bother remembering most of the guys names in my class.

One by one they left, until only I and one other student remained.

"…N-no not you!" I said aghast as I found myself confronted by the devil herself. "Anyone but you!"

The devil raised an eyebrow behind her large pink-rimmed glasses. Her brown hair was tied back into two pigtails. The school uniform sat well on her, emphasising her chest pleasantly and drawing attention to all the right areas. If you didn't know better you'd say she was a normal student of Kuoh.

But I knew better.

Kiryuu set a hand on her hip and gave me a look. "Don't be a baby Hyoudou."

"I'm not a baby!" I denied petulantly. I grabbed the blackboard erasers and walked over to an open window, quickly banging them against each other and dusting them off, pointedly ignoring her.

I heard the sounds of chairs and tables being straightened but did my best to ignore it as I vigorously pounded the erasers against each other until they were bone dry!

Kiryuu casually leaned against the window beside me, an amused smile on her lips. "Are you still mad that I told the girls your size?" she asked, her tone playful as she casually held out her pinky.

My eye twitched.

It twitched a lot.

"I'm twice as big as you said!" I all but yelled, pointing one of the erasers at her face. "I can prove it right now!"

Kiryuu blinked, before smirking. She lifted a finger and nudged the eraser away. "Do you really want to add indecent exposure to your list of offences?" She asked, her tone teasing, and her lips quirked in a way that would have been tantalizing on anyone else.

I glowered at her sullenly. "What else do we have to do?"

She shrugged a shoulder. "You can handle sweeping and I'll do the dusting," she offered.

"Fine."

I stomped over to the cleaning supply cupboard and pulled out the broom, before grabbing the duster and shoving it into her hands. "The quicker we're done here the quicker I can—"

"—jack off?" Kiryuu suggested, making entirely inappropriate motions with her hands—not to mention inaccurate! I didn't jerk off like that at all! Clearly she had no idea what she was talking about, you'd hurt your wrist if you did it like that!

"I hate you _so_ much."

I pointedly ignored Kiryuu as I moved around sweeping the floor of the classroom. I made sure to do a good job—nothing got teachers on your case like half-assing cleaning the classroom.

I took a breath and wiped the sweat from my forehead, surveying my work.

It looked… passable.

"Oho… apparently you are good at something, who would have imagined?"

I stared at Kiryuu for a long moment, before sighing.

Just take the compliment, Issei.

"What else do we have to do?" I asked as I looked around.

Kiryuu sat down on one of the desks and shrugged a shoulder. "What looks like it needs to be done?" she asked as she lightly swung her legs back and forth.

My eyes were briefly drawn down to the edge of her skirt, before I quickly restrained myself and looked away. I didn't want to give her any more ammunition to fire back with!

I made a show of looking around. "Looks fine to me."

Kiryuu smiled and hopped off the desk, landing on her feet. "I think so too!" She snatched the broom from my hand and headed to the back of the room, depositing it and the duster she held in the cleaning supply cupboard.

"You know Issei," Kiryuu began, a small languid smile on her lips as she turned back to me. "If it bothers you that much… maybe I should re-evaluate you?" she offered, casually reaching up and adjusting her glasses.

The action was terribly ominous, as though a great predator was sizing up its prey.

"Denied!" I shouted, crossing my arms in an x shape… or a slightly tilted cross. Whichever worked best against her foul sorcery—that was every bit as dangerous as Motohama's scouter which…

...which had turned out to be a complete lie.

I blinked.

Could Kiryuu's black magic also be fake?

"Oho… that's a dangerous look you've got there Hy~ou~dou~," Kiryuu teased my name along her tongue.

The tension became unbearable.

I took a deep breath and looked the devil in the eye. "…Do your worst."

Kiryuu blinked rapidly, and her eyes widened as I called her bluff, only—to my horror—for her to let out an evil laugh. "Fufufufu, very well… I've got you in my sights!" She declared and reached up, tearing away her glasses and revealing the dangerous gleam of her greenish grey eyes—which were actually quite pret—

I slapped myself **hard** before I was able to finish my traitorous thought.

"Ow!" I cried out and clutched the side of my face. "Ow, ow ow ow!"

"…Hyoudou are you alright?"

"Ow… m'fine…" I moaned out.

Kiryuu let out a laugh that for once didn't sound mocking. "You're a riot Issei, you really are," she said, her tone filled with mirth.

I gave her a dirty look, but to my relief her glasses had returned to their rightful place in the world.

She leaned in and peered at my cheek. "That looks like it hurt."

It did. I didn't know my own strength! I should have used my left hand! It was much weaker.

"You know," Kiryuu said, shifting her hips to the side. "…People are probably going to assume I slapped you for doing something perverted."

"B-but I didn't!" I protested.

Kiryuu lifted the back of her hand to her mouth and gave off another evil little laugh. "Who're they going to believe?"

I begrudgingly had to acknowledge that she was right.

Even if Kiryuu was as every bit sexually enlightened as I was, she had one advance that I didn't have—well two. Two medium sized ones that sat on her chest—and I guess a lack of a… disadvantage?

I sighed and gave her a look. "What do you want?" I asked suspiciously. She wouldn't have pointed it out unless she had an angle.

Kiryuu smiled beatifically at me as if she was an angel. "Nothing bad," she reassured me as she stepped by me, giving me a sidelong smile. "At some point in the future I'll ask you a question, and all you have to do is say yes, alright? In exchange I'll make sure there are no misunderstandings."

That was a… weird request.

"What's the question?"

Kiryuu winked. "That'd be telling Isse-kyun!" she said in a cutesy voice.

"You're a devil, you know that, right?"

Kiryuu tilted her head to the side. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"It wasn't one."

"Too late," she said with a laugh as she walked out the classroom door. "See you tomorrow, Hyoudou."

Despite my misgivings toward her I begrudgingly said good bye.

I left soon after and found myself heading toward the usual meeting spot.

Neither Matsuda nor Motohama were there.

I sat down on the bench and pulled my phone out. I sent a text message to both of them.

Within five minutes I got a reply from Motohama saying that he'd gone home early to do his homework.

At the ten minute mark Matsuda still hadn't replied—I wasn't worried. I'd seen him in class and he'd been fine.

There wasn't any reason to worry—and I wasn't.

I found myself tapping my fingers on the seat beside me, before I finally decided that I was done waiting. He must have been busy with… Tsubasa-senpai.

I bit down on my thumb and thought hard about it—and then what should have been obvious to me from the get go _became_ obvious.

I grabbed my bag and made my way to the back of the school, where the basketball court, tennis court, swimming pool, soccer field—all the various fields required for the dozens of afterschool clubs.

I found myself briefly meandering over, admiring the athleticism of the various female students. Be they dressed in the crisp white tennis outfits—or the muddy shirts and shorts of the soccer uniforms—oh! Oh! _Especially_ the basketball uniform! The shirt rode up exposing the girl's bellybuttons when they went for overhead shots!

With some effort on my part, I managed to force myself to head over to the trackfield, the least interesting field by far.

From the distance I spied a head of blue hair beside a familiar shaven head.

Tsubasa was really cute! In a way that made me feel confused feelings—she resembled a certain blonde bishounen from my year—or perhaps that blonde bastard resembled her?

Either way, she was standing beside Matsuda talking with someone—a teacher wearing gym shorts with a stop watch in one hand and a whistle around their neck.

Why… why was Matsuda talking to the teacher in charge of the track and field club?

The teacher said something that I couldn't hear and Matsuda gave a whoop of excitement, before turning and _hugging_ Tsubasa, prompting the blue haired senior to give him an awkward pat on the back, before he finally let go.

I didn't quite fall to my knees in despair—or maybe I did.

One way or the other, I found myself on my knees.

I… I should be happy for my friend right? This was… this was good. He… he's….

…

…

I was happy for my friend.

I _was_ happy for my friend.

"Issei, is that you?"

I looked up and found Matsuda and Tsubasa-senpai standing before me. One with a look of confusion, the other with concern.

"Are you alright?" Matsuda asked, offering me his hand.

"Y-yeah," I said feeling awkward. I gripped his hand and let him pull me onto my feet. "So you're re-joining the track team?"

Matsuda blinked and his cheeks went pink. He gave a laugh and rubbed the back of his head. "I was going to surprise you."

"I'll leave you to it, Matsuda-san," Tsubasa-senpai said, her tone polite and cordial.

"Thanks for all your help senpai!" Matsuda said brightly, waving to her as she walked away, off to no doubt ruin someone else's friendship.

"Come on, let's go get something to eat—my treat alright?"

I nodded wordlessly and just sort of followed my friend.

"I never told you what really happened when I left the track team did I?" Matsuda asked, giving me an awkward smile as we walked.

No, no you never did. I didn't really know, not until the other you told me.

Matsuda took my silence as reason to continue. "I didn't really steal Murayama's panties," he admitted. "She wasn't even on the track team." He fidgeted slightly. "Tsubasa-senpai was though," he said. "She's an amazing athlete—she's brought home several gold medals from each national meetup."

"I was jealous of her." Matsuda told me. "I was so used to being the best, that suddenly not being the best was… I wasn't ready for it. I reacted… badly." He winced. "I got kicked off the team and well, you know the rest right?"

I did know the rest. I'd been there for the rest.

"I thought we—you were happy," I said feebly.

A hand gripped my shoulder tightly, squeezing down. "Issei, we're still friends," Matsuda said, giving a laugh. "Just because I'm joining the track club again doesn't mean that's going to change you idiot."

I looked at Matsuda in surprise.

He scoffed. "Did you really think I'd ditch you and Motohama just because I re-joined the club?" He gave me an insulted look. "How shallow do you think I am?"

"Matsuda…"

I… I wasn't going to cry. I wasn't.

"…Issei don't make this weird."

I realized that I had been staring into his eyes, and quickly looked away, coughing into my hand. "S-so you said something about food?"

Matsuda slung an arm around my shoulders and grinned at me. "I hear Yoshinuya has a beef bowl challenge! If you manage to eat the whole thing in ten minutes it's free!"

I blinked. "And if you don't?"

"Uh… well it's like… 3,000 yen?" Matsuda said with a laugh and a dismissive wave of the hand. "Relax! I'm starvin' how about you?"

Considering I had cereal for dinner and toast for breakfast I was…

"Pretty hungry," I conceded, giving him a smile.

"Plus if we finish the bowls off, they'll put us on the wall of fame! Women! Fame! Money! It'll all be ours!"

"Yeah!" I thrust a fist up into the air as the enthusiasm hit me. "Let's do it! I'm starving!"

We left the school in good spirits and we arrived at Yoshinuya ready to take on the world—or at least an extra-large bowl of beef topped rice.

Matsuda kicked the doors open.

I don't mean metaphorically.

I mean he physically kicked the door open drawing every pair of eyes in the shop to us.

He thrust a finger toward the cash register and the wide-eyed acne ridden teen manning it. "I have returned once again!" He held up two fingers. "Two Ultra Beef Bowl challengers have arrived! Prepare to meet your downfall!"

"U-uhm o-okay," The teen manning the register stuttered. "T-two U-Ultra Beef B-Bowls c-coming right up."

An older employee took that moment to make themselves known, stepping up and placing a large hand on the teens shoulder. "Now hold on there."

Matsuda scowled. "Tceh… it's you again."

The older employee was probably in his late thirties. He had thin wispy black hair and wrinkle lines on his forehead. His nametag read Bunta. "You know the drill champ. You want to take the challenge again you'll have to pay first."

I leaned in close to Matsuda. "Again?"

"…I may have taken the challenge before," Matsuda begrudgingly admitted.

"And failed four times," Bunta said bluntly. "And the last time you tried to skip on the bill. No money, no challenge, got it, you brat?"

Matsuda pulled out his wallet and slapped down several thousand yen bills. "I'm taking my place amongst the greats today! You better be prepared to give me my money back you old geezer!"

Bunta's face turned a fascinating shade of puce and several veins made themselves known on his forehead. "I'm twenty seven you brat!" he snarled, snatching up the yen notes and practically throwing them at the cashier who looked helpless and lost.

He pointed at me, practically frothing at the mouth. "You! Money! Now!"

Well that was… something.

I pulled out my wallet and reluctantly pulled out several notes, putting a substantial dent into my available funds.

Bunta snatched the money from my hand, before giving a forced smile. "Please enjoy your meals!"

Matsuda rolled his eyes. "Better not get used to holding our money, you pig," he muttered under his breath.

We made our way over to a table by the window.

I couldn't help it.

I laughed.

The sheer absurdity was so reaffirming that I couldn't help it.

"How much have you lost here?" I asked, grinning at Matsuda.

"Too much," he begrudgingly admitted. "But!" He held up a finger. "Today is different! I can feel it! I woke up this morning and I felt like I could do anything! I _can_ do anything! _We_ can do anything!"

It turned out that _we_ couldn't do anything.

I moaned in agony as I laid my head against the table.

My stomach felt like it was going to burst.

Across from me Matsuda breathed heavily as he mechanically shovelled spoon after spoon of rice into his mouth with the dogged determination of a man on a mission.

Several feet away Bunta stood like a statue, a stopwatch in his hand that was nearing zero.

"You can do it!" A customer cheered from somewhere.

"Hnngg!" Matsuda gurgled rice and with a massive effort swallowed, pounding his fist against the table, before he picked the bowl up and stuck his tongue out, rapidly cleaning the remaining grains of beef-gravy-soaked rice from it.

"Time!" Bunta snarled and snatched the bowl from Matsuda's hands, inspecting it for even the smallest morsel of food. "…Tceh… Fine." He spat out, letting the bowl clatter onto the table.

A cheer went up in the restaurant.

If I hadn't been about to burst I would have joined in.

"Here's your money back," Bunta grumbled, tossing several notes onto the table with one hand and snapping a picture of Matsuda with the other—capturing him in all his food-smeared, barely coherent glory.

"Haa… worth it." Matsuda said, giving a blissful sigh.

"Maybe for you…" I grumbled as I stared at my half-finished bowl of food.

I had a feeling I wasn't going to be getting my money back.

On one hand I had my dinner sorted. On the other I'd probably have to roll home with how bloated I felt.

I sighed as I rested the back of my head against the booth. "I need a job," I bemoaned.

I really, really needed a job! If I couldn't afford the final payments on my beautiful Kaben Rider Pinky figurine… it would never be mine!

I could see her even now, her white-gloved hand reaching out to me. Her bright green eyes begging me to save her from some fat otaku's collection!

I reached out to touch her hand. "P-Pinky! I-I'm coming for you I promise! J-just hold on!"

She vanished and I found myself once more sitting across from Matsuda who was giving me an odd look.

"…Issei you're my friend and all, but you're super weird."

"Genius is often misunderstood," I told him bluntly.

"…So is love, but somehow I don't think either of those apply to you," Matsuda said bluntly. He reached up and began to absently pick at his teeth with his fingernail.

I sighed and let my head drop, banging against the table.

Neither of us said anything for several minutes, while business as usual continued around us for the diner.

I sighed and turned my head so my nose wasn't pressing into the table, and as I did, I watched a man and his daughter enter. The young girl was happily holding her father's hand, swinging it back and forth as she hummed loudly.

"Every day's great at your Ju~nes!"

Matsuda groaned from across the table. "I'd just gotten that song out of my…" He blinked slowly. "Say, wasn't the department store advertising for positions a week ago? Maybe you should check it out?" he suggested.

I slammed both my hands against the table and stood up. "Really?!" I demanded to know.

Matsuda raised an eyebrow. "I mean, yeah?"

I had to go apply right away! I didn't care what it was, I needed a job—any job!

Well, not any job—but almost any job!

With a supreme force of will, I managed to dislodge myself from between the table and my seat.

"See you tomorrow Issei," Matsuda said, lazily waving from his seat as he continued to bask in his victory, and the several kilos of meat and rice he had ingested. He lifted a fist. "Fight on."

Invigorated by my friends half-assed support I made my way out of the diner, my destination firmly in mind.

Every day was going to be great from now on!

—~—


	4. Prologue: Chapter Four

—~—

Junes was the name of a chain of department stores that had sprung up all over Japan over the past few years. Our local one was in a huge complex, inside which were several dozen other smaller stores as well as a food court.

The main entrance to the complex was large and at the top of a wide set of steps, beyond which sat several glass double doors that were perpetually open during the day, with a constant stream of people walking in and out.

I walked in amongst the throng of people and just went with the flow until I finally arrived at Junes and broke off from the crowd.

Junes had a little bit of everything. It had electronics, toys, clothes, furniture—you name it and it probably had it.

It also had… some really hot employees!

I smiled brightly, unable to help myself as I made my way over to the information kiosk near the front entrance of Junes.

It was manned by a cute twenty something girl with a petite set of breasts—named Ruri according to her nametag. We made eye contact and she smiled at me. A pair of cute dimples formed on her cheeks.

"Hello, how can I help you?" She asked me politely.

I somehow managed to resist telling her that the only way she could help me was by letting me take her out on a date.

"I was told that Junes was hiring?"

"We are!" She said brightly, her smile infectious. "In fact, the branch manager is conducting some interviews right now—and we just had an interviewee cancel. If you'd like I can ask the branch manager if he'd be willing to see you?" She offered, her tone surprisingly hopeful.

Could it be… she liked me?!

"Oh please!" I said eagerly, nodding rapidly.

She gave a soft laugh and nodded. "It'd be nice to have a man around to help with the heavy lifting," she said, her tone teasing as she picked up the phone beside her and pressed a few buttons.

She thought I was a man! I found myself puffing up slightly.

A few minutes later after talking with whoever was on the other end, she smiled at me and put the phone back down. "Looks like it's your lucky day," she said brightly. "Do you know where the staff office is?"

I shook my head. "I can figure it out though, thanks for your help though, Ruri-chan!" I said, giving her a happy wave before making my way in search of my destiny.

It turned out that the staff office was in the centre of the whole place, directly between electronics and women's lingerie. I may have taken a minor detour past the lingerie section once or twice—three times at most. It may or may not have been because of a pleasant looking bottle blonde with a faint sign of crow's feet and an ass you could have bounced a coin off of.

Eventually I found myself standing in a room with several chairs alongside one wall, whilst the other was occupied by a receptionist's desk and a door that read 'Branch Manager'.

The receptionist was pretty in a prim and proper way. Her dark hair was tied back into a bun and she wore a white blouse.

"You must be the new interviewee I was told about," She said, giving me a polite smile. She set a clipboard in front of me as well as a pen. "Fill this out. The manager will see you soon."

I thanked her and picked them up, making my way over to one of the empty seats and sitting down.

I clicked the pen and held up the clipboard. On it was a form with a bunch of lines, empty fields and questions.

The questions seemed standard enough.

Name? Hyoudou Issei. Age? Sixteen. Experience? None. Availability? After school and weekends.

Measurements?

I blinked at that one, before I saw that it had a checkbox for non-applicable.

I finished the form soon enough and handed it back to the receptionist.

She smiled as she accepted it and assured me that the wait wouldn't be long.

An hour later I was jolted awake by the sound of a door hinge squeaking and a loud boisterous voice.

The receptionist stiffened and her pleasant smile became a bit more forced.

The door to the manager's office swung open and out came a… slightly dishevelled looking lady. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and several of the buttons of her blouse hadn't been done up. We made eye contact very briefly before she averted her eyes.

I watched as a large hand settled on her shoulder and followed it up to its owner.

Its owner was a middle aged man—slightly pudgy and with a wispy looking goatee. His thin hair was drawn back into a manbun. "I think you'll fit in well with our family here at Junes," he said, "If you can bring the same attitude to work that you brought to the interview, you'll go far!" he said, earning a weak smile from the interviewee. "Handle the rest of the details, would you?" He asked, turning toward the receptionist briefly, before he noticed me.

"Come in," He said, gesturing for me to follow him.

I quickly stood up from my seat and followed him in as he walked back inside his office. "Take a seat," he said, gesturing to one of two seats in front of his desk.

I looked around the office as I walked in.

The manager's desk was covered in paperwork that had been shoved to one side or the other to make room in the middle. On one pile was a worn looking name place that read: Akamine Souji, Branch Manager. Behind it there was a high-backed chair as well as several filing cabinets. One of the walls was practically covered in monitors, each showing a different part of Junes. I couldn't help but notice that several had been zoomed in on the cashier's desks—my eyes were immediately drawn to a tantalizing display of cleavage from one of the staff manning the checkouts.

"The monitors have great resolution, don't they?"

I quickly averted my gaze as I realized I had been leering and gave an awkward laugh as I scratched the back of my head. "Sorry—couldn't help myself," I said, wincing as I quickly sat down in one of the chairs and set my hands on my knees.

The manager—Souji—waved his hand. "Don't worry about it kid. I remember when I was your age. As long as you keep your hands off the merchandise we won't have a problem," he said, his tone amicable.

I felt a wave of relief go through me and I gave him a grateful smile.

He smirked at me. "That last one—the one I was with before, she was pretty wasn't she?"

I froze. I had no idea how to respond to that… was this a… test? Was he trying to catch me out or was he being serious? What was I supposed to say!

I found him looking at me expectantly.

I took a deep breath. "I didn't really get a good look at her face," I admitted, giving him a wry smile.

He let out a barking laugh and slammed a hand against the desk. "Aha! I knew it, you've got a fine eye kid!" He lifted a hand and gestured at the monitors. "I'm very selective about who I hire—gotta keep the customers happy, you know? Nothing gets customers spending money like cute girls!"

I nodded as he imparted his sage knowledge to me. Truly this was a wise man, for he knew what lay within the hearts of mortal men.

I had to make a good impression!

"You're absolutely right!" I agreed instantly. "Nothing sells things like cute girls! They get this look in their eye and you just don't want to disappoint them! This seems like an awesome place to work!"

Souji snapped his fingers. "Exactly! You understand. I'm glad we were able to reach an understanding," He said with a beaming smile.

I resisted the urge to let out a cheer, and somehow managed to stay professional. "So, when can I start?" I asked.

He blinked once. "…You aren't starting," he told me, and frowned. "I thought we'd reached an understanding?"

I felt… confused.

"You're… not going to hire me?"

"No," he told me bluntly. "I only hire cute girls—what use would I have for a guy like you?"

I watched my beautiful future—a future surrounded by attractive salesgirls—shatter into untold pieces.

Now that I thought about it… I hadn't really seen another guy working in this Junes, had I? All I'd seen were girls. It had been why I had been so excited, hadn't it?

This… this wasn't fair!

"Can't I do anything to convince you?" I all but pleaded. "I really need a job!"

He scoffed. "Sorry kid, you ain't got the parts you'd need to convince me." He paused, and a look of consideration crossed his features. He sighed. "Look, I'm not a monster kid. You reminded me of, well a younger me. That's part of the reason I can't hire you, you know? The sexual harassment claims would put me in an uncomfortable position."

He lifted up a bundle and paperwork and pulled out a brightly coloured sheet of vouchers. He folded the upper half and then casually tore free one. "Here, this'll get you a nice discount on a video console. It's not a job, but it's better than nothing right?"

I looked down at the voucher as he held it out to me.

I sighed and reached out, taking it from him. "…thanks, I guess…" I said dejectedly as I stood up.

He stood up and walked me to the door, opening it and clapping me on the back heavily, causing me to stumble forward a few feet. I flinched as the door shut behind me with a heavy thud.

The receptionist gave me a pitying look that made me feel even worse. "Here, let me validate that voucher for you, sweetheart," she said kindly. "Otherwise it won't be worth the paper it's made out of."

Funny… he hadn't said that it needed to be validated. I moved over to the receptionist's desk, my legs feeling wooden.

She took the voucher from my hand and used a heavy looking stamp on it before handing it back. "Would you like me to keep your form on file just in case… we get a change of management?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

Half an hour later I found myself sitting on a bench in the food court, the stamped voucher clutched in my hand.

I was feeling many, many things, and none of them felt pleasant. I didn't even have the words to describe how I was feeling.

I was upset.

I was angry.

I was embarrassed.

This… this wasn't fair! I had seen the Promised Land! It had been there! I could have touched it—I would have been fired, but I could have!—it had been that close to me that I could taste it in the air!

But.

But a fat, vile, ugly troll had appeared in front of me at the last second and denied me what was rightfully mine! Without a job I was never going to see my beloved figurine delivered into my hands!

No, more than that… he had said something unforgivable.

He had said that I reminded him of himself!

I was livid.

I was nothing like that bastard!

I had seen all the signs on that girl when she had left the office—it was clear that he—she— _they_ had done _it_ in the room! He'd forced that poor girl to do unspeakable—unthinkable things!

Unthinkable because thinking about it would have involved thinking about that fat asshole naked! The simple thought of potentially thinking about it made me retch.

This wasn't fair!

This wasn't right!

I… I had to do something! To protect those beautiful girls!

But…

I slumped forwards.

What could I even do?

Faunus made itself known in my moment of need.

" _You can do anything you desire,"_ It told me. " _All you need is the will to move, and the rest will follow._ "

I could do anything I desired? I don't know about desire, but I really wanted to punch that asshole right in his face! But if I did that I'd get in a ton of trouble, wouldn't I? Maybe I could slash his tires? But how would I find out which car was his?

I almost found myself lost in my plans for reven—justice, when a spark of inspiration hit me.

I was going about this all wrong!

I was thinking like the old Issei! The old Issei who didn't happen to… to…

I had no idea what sort of crazy super powers I'd gained from Faunus awakening but—that didn't matter. I knew that I had them. More than that, I _knew_ that this guy had a… what did Igor call them? Demo… Demi… Demen… Demesne! Right! This guy definitely had one as well—or at least I think he did, if I had understood what Igor had said.

"Am I right, Faunus?" I asked, glancing up at the glass ceiling of the food court. I absently noted that it was beginning to get dark outside and the lights were beginning to flicker to life inside the building.

" _You do not need me to tell you what you already know._ "

I nodded, accepting his response for what it was.

He was right. I didn't know how I knew—but I did.

This guy existed in the World of Desire.

I thought back to Matsuda and the spontaneous change he had undergone. The shift in his motivation and the realization of his true nature, once his excess desire had been shed.

I found myself given pause… was I… really considering doing what I thought I was considering doing?

The World of Desire had terrified me, hadn't it? It was a nightmarish world empty of meaning except for places like Matsuda's, as odd as it had been.

What if I was wrong? I'd be stranded far away, and I'd have to find a way back to the real world—I'd have to find another person with abnormally strong desires and take their Shard.

But—wouldn't the same thing happen when the sunset? Or had that just been a coincidence?

I felt it hadn't been.

I noticed that Faunus had gone quiet again.

It did that a lot. Said a few mysterious things and then upped and vanished.

Honestly, half the time I felt like I had just gone crazy and was hearing voices.

" _One of those things is true._ "

I blinked owlishly.

"I don't suppose you could tell me which one is true?" I asked, unable to keep the hopeful tone out of my voice. "Because I really wonder."

" _You do not need me to tell you what you already know._ "

I rolled my eyes.

" _Have you decided?_ "

I had.

I stood and made my way out of the food court, back past Junes and all the way to the front of the shopping mall.

I found myself standing on the top of the steps, people walking around me, heading both in and out of the complex.

I stared out over the horizon and watched as the sun slowly set, sinking below the horizon.

I licked my lips and closed my eyes, trying to keep my breathing steady and calm—constantly reminding myself of why I was doing what I was doing.

The sounds of the crowd suddenly vanished, and when I opened my eyes again I saw that the world had changed.

The sky had turned red.

The ground had become black

The buildings had turned white.

The crowd around me had faded into indistinct shades, moving aimlessly without purpose.

I let out the breath I had apparently been holding and slowly turned around.

The shopping mall had vanished.

I found myself at the end of a long, large red carpet that spanned over a hundred meters. Each side of the carpet was blocked off by barriers, beyond which there was a veritable sea of shades. The sides were so thick with the phantoms that they appeared as a sea of flickering black and grey.

At the far end of the red carpet was a courtyard, beyond which a truly massive mansion sat. It was large, far beyond what Matsuda's Gallery had been. It loomed in the distance, grandiose and opulent in all the wrong ways. The walls were an almost sullen off-white compared to the empty white of the surrounding buildings.

As the shades stepped onto the red carpet, the shadows drained away revealing figures in expensive clothing and finery—jewellery and handbags that looked like they would have cost a kidney or two.

Some however, looked almost ordinary in comparison—like businessmen, school kids and their mothers—everyday people you'd walk by on the street.

They all walked the same red carpet, oblivious to each other.

At the far end stood a pair of thickly muscled bouncers—almost ridiculously so. Their chests were massive, and their waists were tiny, like a caricature of a strongman. They wore white suits with red ties—but their most striking feature had to be the white, expressionless mask each had where its face should have been.

It was a bit far away—but I saw that as the shades reached the bouncers, they were either turned away, or welcomed inside.

There was no rhythm or reason to it. Sometimes the rich looking shades were let in, other times they weren't, some of the businessmen were rejected, and some of the children got in.

I would have liked to stay back and figure out what was going on—but it didn't look like that was going to be happening. I could… not so much sense, as _feel_ that the longer I remained, the greater the chance that the monstrosities that lurked in the shadows would take notice.

I took a deep breath and stepped onto the red carpet and began the long walk toward the mansions courtyard. The world became darker around me as I walked, with the red carpet beneath my feet being the only constant as the world beyond it—and where it led—fading away.

The two masked bouncers somehow got bigger, and bigger with every step I took, until finally, I had arrived and they were both two feet taller, and four times as wide.

I swallowed and whispered under my breath. "F-faunus you've got my back on this, right?"

" _I have._ "

Relief flooded through me and I gave a big smile to the two bouncers as I approached. "Yo!" I greeted them, lifting a hand up and waving.

The two bouncers looked at each other briefly, before one stepped forward and lifted a massive hand the size of a frying pan. "Hold it," it said, its voice warped and sounding gruff. "What business do you have in Junes?" it demanded to know.

I had a few options—several of which involved gratuitous amounts of violence. In the end I decided to take the nonviolent approach.

I pulled out the voucher that I had been given earlier by Akamine. "I have a voucher from the manager," I told the shadow, holding the crumpled voucher out.

It leaned in, its massive form taking up my vision as its mask got closer and it looked down at the voucher.

It straightened up, and both it—and its friend stepped aside. "Our apologies, honoured customer. Please be sure to spend all your money."

I held back on giving it an odd look and walked between the two, tensed up until I stepped through the archway and into the courtyard.

The courtyard was fancy. The edges were made of yellowy-green hedges that reached up into the sky, and at the very middle there was a large foundation the middle of which were composed of letters spelling 'JUNE' vertically.

The various shades that had been allowed in mingled with each other—or at least I thought that was what was happening at first.

In reality they were gathered around several… figures.

Figures I recognized as employees from Junes—except they weren't dressed… exactly the same.

Instead they were wearing what could only be described as sexy white and orange cheerleader outfits that were sinfully brief.

"Hello!"

I turned and found myself confronted with a visage of an angel—or at least I thought she was at first. The girl who had manned the information desk—Ruri—had suddenly appeared, a bright smile on her face, showing off her killer dimples. She was… wearing the new uniform. Her stomach was visible, as were her upper thighs, and I found myself having to avert my eyes as my cheeks burned.

Ah! She was so cute—but this… felt somehow wrong.

I found my eyes drifting back down, before I shook my head rapidly and took a deep breath, forcing a smile onto my lips. "Hi Ruri-chan!" I greeted her, absently noting that my guestimation of her bust had been spot on—her breasts were really quite petite.

Her smile brightened. "Have we met before? I'm sorry mister, I don't remember—perhaps you can help me?" she asked, doing this… weird… thing where she tilted her head and pressed a finger to her bottom lip, while shifting her hips ever so slightly that… made me just want to do everything she asked of me.

"I… uh… yeah…" I reached up and scratched my cheek, averting my eyes. "You uhm… helped me earlier today."

"Oh!" She straightened up and lightly smacked the bottom of her fist into her up facing palm. "I remember you now—say since I remembered you and everything could you help me?" she asked, giving me that killer smile. "It's a bit embarrassing but I'm behind my sales quota… could you help me out, mister?" she asked cutely.

"Nn..nnnn…nnn..." I found myself struggling to say the word.

"You're the best mister!" Ruri said, slipping an arm around mine and holding it tightly, before dragging me along past the courtyard and up to the steps of mansion shaped demesne—which was even more lavish and imposing up close.

Two masked bouncers—just like the ones at the end of the red carpet—stood on either side of the massive double doors. They each reached out and grasped an oversized golden handle and pulled, opening the double doors and allowing Ruri to pull me inside with a giggle from her.

I found myself being lead into a large open foyer. The walls were a burnished gold colour and accented with what appeared to be actual gold. At the far end were a set of double stairs that wound their way up to a second level, between which was a closed door in front of which a masked bouncer stood. To the sides of the rooms were two large doors which each had a plaque on it. One read 'Electronics Department' the other read 'Women's Clothing'.

In the foyer itself there were dozens pedestals—on each was a different item.

One had a vacuum cleaner.

Another had a pair of glittering shoes.

Each had something different and odd.

I could see books, miniature furniture, video games, baby toys and more.

"These are our current specials, mister," Ruri told me as she dragged me over toward a pedestal with a set of Tupperware containers on it. She leaned against me and I could feel the softness of her body press against mine. "Do you see anything you like?" she asked, smiling up at me.

I blushed and looked away. "I-uh was… I was…"

I found myself flustered by the cute girl's question and had to look away.

My gaze wandered around the room, looking anywhere but at Ruri.

It helped calm me down—but more then that, it allowed me to remind myself why I was here.

To save Ruri and the other employees from that bastard! What was I doing letting this… this… fake! This super fake, super cute, adorable— _beautiful_ and affectionate girl who smiled at me in a way that… that…

What was I doing?

I was supposed to be… kicking that bastard's ass! That's right! I had been distracted again!

"Ruri-chan," I said, giving her a forced smile. "Could you take me to see the manager?" I asked her.

She gave a laugh and waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, no, no! I couldn't. He's too busy right now with new employees! Oh! But how about this?" her hands slid down my arm and grasped my hand, tugging me along with that smile of hers.

It killed me to do it but…

"No," I said firmly and stood my ground, even as she tugged on my hand. "I want to see the manager right now… I have a complaint!"

Ruri froze.

I don't meant she went still in shock.

I meant she physically stopped.

Her body flickered before vanishing, blinking out like the light in an old television set.

The large hulking masked bouncer that had been standing in front of the door at the far end of the foyer began to walk toward me, its black fists balled tightly.

I took a deep breath and slowly clenched my fists. "Faunus, you ready for this?" I asked my imaginary friend.

" _I wouldn't say that I was imaginary._ " Faunus said, its voice amused.

"You're a voice who only exists in my head—I'd say that's plenty imaginary."

Faunus went silent for a moment. " _Valid point. My rebuttal, I want you to tear that Shadow's Mask off."_

I stilled and watched the massive bouncer stomp toward me. I began to backtrack, keeping the distance between it and me constant. "Faunus. Real talk. You are the most real thing I know—and I know a lot of real people, and they're _really_ real."

" _Flattery will get you everywhere_ ," Faunus purred into my mind. " _However, in this instance, I am also being_ _ **real**_ _. You must strengthen your body as well as your soul for what is to come. If you cannot defeat this lowly shadow, then perhaps this is as far as we shall go._ "

I swallowed a lump that had developed in my throat.

Faunus wasn't joking.

He wasn't going to help me until I tore the mask off the shadow's face. Even if it meant that it killed me—which it would. Its arm was the size of my entire body and it looked like it could bend an inanimate carbon rods like a pretzel.

"I changed my mind," I told the Shadow, giving a nervous laugh. "I don't really have a complaint—quite the opposite really! I have praise! Praise!" I insisted.

It didn't care for my words.

I clenched my fist, and my mind raced as I tried to come up with a plan of action that didn't involve me getting squished like a bug. I was far from the most physically fit in my year—a fact that I was beginning to seriously regret as I was advanced on by something that could body shame the Hulk.

I found my back soon up against the doors to the foyer, and I turned, attempting to open them using the oversized golden handles— but they wouldn't budge.

I stiffened as the shadow of the bouncer came over me, blotting out the light from above.

I felt the wind shift around me as it raised its massive arms up.

I lunged to the side, narrowly avoiding both of its fists as they swung down and smashed into the door with a thunderous roar. I made it several feet before it swung around and began to give chase, its almost comically oversized body swaying with each step it took toward me.

"C-come on we can talk about this!"

I glanced back toward the twin stairwells leading up to the second floor, and saw that at the top of each was another set of bouncers—who seemed content to wait and watch as their friend tried to get its hands on me.

I slipped behind one of the pedestals and took several feet back as it swung one of its meaty fists and smashed the marble into dust.

I ducked behind another—grabbing the glittering shoes off the top and throwing them at the bouncer.

They bounced off its head, eschewing its mask and causing it to sway briefly before it lunged at me.

I hopped out of reach and ran to the next pillar. This time I picked up the vacuum that sat on top of it and gave it an almighty throw.

It met one of the bouncer's fists and exploded into plastic shrapnel.

My jaw dropped slightly—but I didn't stop moving. That could easily have been me!

Over a dozen pillars later—and a floor littered with the smashed remains of various on sale items, I found myself approaching my limits as I found myself running out of both things to hide behind, and things to throw.

I lunged out of the way of the bouncers swinging fists and found myself skipping along the floor—wincing as the rubble from the pedestals and various on-sale items digging into me.

I moaned in pain and reached out, grabbing onto the edge of one of the remaining pedestals and pulling myself up onto my feet. "Come on Faunus… at this rate I'll…" I grimaced and looked at my next weapon against the increasingly irate bouncer.

Atop the pedestal sat the most pathetic looking plastic toy sword I'd ever seen. Its handle was lime green, it had a flimsy blue guard and the blade was less a blade and more a thin grey rectangle.

I let out a hysterical laugh, but I grabbed it none the less and stumbled backwards, just in time to avoid being pummelled.

My feet slipped on the debris as I clambered backwards.

I looked at the trashy fake sword in my hand and let out another laugh—I couldn't help it. This was all too much.

I laughed some more as I brandished my chosen weapon at the Shadow. "Come at me if you dare!" I called out to it.

It took my challenge and began lumbering toward me, its fists raised.

I let out a shriek and threw the toy weapon at it as I scrambled for cover.

The toy sword soared through the air, its lack of aerodynamic properties causing it to spin wildly.

The sword bounced off the shadow's head—or rather, everything told me that it should have.

Instead…

The Shadow let out a shriek of pain and a spurt of malignant red ichor erupted from its mash as the blunt plastic blade of the toy sword cut through it.

The shadow's massive hands reached up towards its head as it writhed in pain. It tore away the not-so-trashy plastic sword, and the two halves of its mask fell away.

Its body contorted and bloated, before erupting in a shower of black and red ichor, revealing its true form… a tiny, attractive auburn haired pixie with two dragonfly wings.

The tiny pixie looked at me, its large eyes filled with the promise of pain.

I tilted my head to the side. "…Huh…"

"Prepare to die!" The Pixie yelled at me, her voice high-pitched and lilting.

She was adorable!

On a second look she wasn't that tiny either! She was nine inches tall from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet—not taking into account her wings.

She lifted one of her elbow length blue-glove-clad hands and faint sparks of electricity arced between her fingertips.

"Zio!" She shouted and thrust her hand toward me.

Lightning erupted from her tiny hand and tore through me as though I was tissue paper. Agony erupted in every nerve ending I had, only to abruptly stop as the attack ended.

I gasped for air, my muscles contracting uncontrollably as faint curls of smoke wafted up from my clothes.

I could smell something… was… was someone cooking?

Oh…

That smell was me?

I smelt… delicious.

"Buhauwhawa! Fear me!"

I looked at the Pixie.

It flittered several feet away before pointing a tiny finger at me. "Surrender now! You're a thousand years too soon to challenge Master Souji!"

" _Would you like my assistance now?"_ Faunus asked me.

I considered it as my hand muscles twitched uncontrollably.

I bent down and picked up the crappy plastic sword that had managed to wound the Pixie's masked form.

I gave it several experimental swings.

It felt as shitty and fake as it had the first time but…

I turned toward the Pixie and smiled.

It blanched and lifted its hand again, electricity arcing between its fingers.

I leaned forward, and the moment her lips moved I lunged to the side, narrowly avoiding the arc of lightning. I gritted my teeth as my legs throbbed in pain but I pushed through it as I crossed the distance between us.

I swung my sword, but at the last moment I hesitated and twisted my wrist, striking the Pixie with the flat side.

It let out a cry of surprise and was sent spiralling through the air, before its wings kicked in, fluttering rapidly and righting itself.

I wouldn't say that I was one to enjoy hitting girls—far from it! I loved to hit _on_ girls! But that had felt…

I smiled and gave the sword another few test swings, before looking at Pixie again.

She panicked and lifted her hands up, waving them rapidly. "W-wait!"

I began to walk toward it.

"N-no! Wait up! C-can't we work something out?" it asked, its eyes going wide as it began to drift backwards. "D-don't kill me please!"

"Oh, I won't kill you," I promised it, licking my lips as I kept walking.

"T-the way you said that!" It stammered. "Y-you know, I think we're a lot alike!" it said quickly, flittering closer—but just out of reach. "I think in any other situation we'd have gotten along really well!" she insisted.

I hesitated.

"… _Issei,_ " Faunus said, its tone disapproving, as if it knew what I was thinking.

Which it didn't! Because I had no clue what I was thinking, and if I had no clue, how would it?

"Wh-why aren't you saying anything?" The Pixie asked, flittering further back, before zooming forward. "H-hey! At least let me know if you're planning on killing me!"

I blanched.

Kill her?! How could I? She was… cute! Adorable even!

…On the other hand… the lightning…

"Oh!" The Pixie exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "Here!" She lifted a hand up and I tensed, ready to dodge.

"Dia!" She exclaimed, and a green glow began to diffuse throughout my body.

I moaned in relief as the pain that filled every inch of my body vanished.

"There! That's better, isn't it?" she asked brightly, clasping its hands together.

I gave it a suspicious look. "Thanks?" I lifted a hand and flexed my fingers. To my surprise they moved without difficulty, as if I hadn't just been shocked with a hundred volts moments prior.

"S-so you'll let me go right?" The dragonfly winged pixie asked, flittering closer with a cute look on her face.

I hesitated. I couldn't just let her go… "If I let you go what will you do?"

She considered it as her wings beat rapidly behind her to keep her afloat. "I'll probably… try and kill you again!" she said brightly, before paling and waving her hands. "B-but I don't have to! Like I said I think we're… a lot… alike…" she trailed off, before a faint blue glow began to emanate from her. "Huh. I feel… funny."

I stepped backwards.

The Pixie's head snapped up, her eyes wide with revelation. "I see…" She turned toward me and smiled. "So I'm actually an existence that drifts about in the sea of humanity's souls… My real name is Pixie!" she told me happily. "I'm Pixie! Nice to meet you! From now on I'll live inside your heart mister!"

"Wait wha—"

Pixie suddenly burst forward, the blue glow surrounding her burning brightly.

I let out a panicked shriek as she plunged into the left of my chest—vanishing inside and suffusing my body with the same bright blue glow that faded away over the next few seconds.

I looked down at my chest wide eyed, uncomprehending of what had just happened.

I heard a new voice from within.

" _I am Thou, Thou art I!_ "

I heard an old voice from within.

" _It's going to get very crowded in here, isn't it?_ "

" _Hello Mister Goatface!_ "

I groaned, lifting a hand up to my face as the two voices inside my head began to converse with each other.

I let out a bark of laughter that quickly devolved into hysteria.

" _It's your own fault, Issei,"_ Faunus chided me. " _Don't talk to Shadows, just destroy them."_

" _Mou! Don't be like that Mister Goat! I'm sure he can make lots of new friends!_ "

My laughter died away as I noticed that the two masked shadows that had been patiently waiting at the top of the stairs had taken notice that their comrade had failed.

I felt myself hesitating briefly, before I clutched the sword in my hand tighter.

I could do this.

I _had_ done this.

I felt like I could take on the world—or at the very least a small country.

" _Oh! Oh! Can I help?_ " I heard Pixie ask, her voice oddly excited.

"I wouldn't mind help," I admitted as I spun the shitty fake sword around in my hand. "It'd be nice not to be on the other end of one of those zaps."

"Pixie!" I called her name as I had Faunus' when it first came to my aid.

Nothing happened.

I blinked owlishly as the two lumbering masked shadows advanced on me. "…Pixie?"

" _She was borne of the collective unconscious of Humanity. If you wish to call upon her aid, then do as I say,"_ Faunus whispered into my mind.

My eyes widened, and I grinned.

I lifted my hand up and placed it over the front of my chest.

It began to glow bright.

I reached into my heart and grasped her existence

I tore my hand away and a ball of blue flames crackled to life between my fingers.

I lifted the hand up and squeezed down. "Pixie!"

The flames erupted and twisted and shaped themselves and Pixie emerged from inside.

"Yay!" She let out a cheer as she stretched her arms out and flittered around, circling me before positioning herself between the Shadows and I and seemingly reclining in the air.

"Alright!" I cheered and pointed toward the advancing, thickly muscled Shadows. "Zap them!"

"Huh?" Pixie blinked owlishly and look at me, bringing a finger up to her lips. "Zap?"

"…what you did to me before," I told her flatly.

"Oh! You mean Zio!" She said happily, clapping her hands together once.

I sighed. "Fine, Zio. _Zio_ them, please?"

"Got it!" She said happily, twirling around and extending a hand toward the two enemies. "Zio!" She called out and lightning erupted from her fingers, striking the Shadow on the right.

It gave a wail of pain and its body began to twist, before bursting and revealing its true form.

… A creepy football headed red creature with a bowl cut.

I stared blankly at the creature as it hopped to its feet and began to bounce on its feet, lifting its oversized hands up and grinning at me, its mouth wide and filled with bright white teeth.

Despite taking the direct attack it didn't look like it was even phased! That wasn't fair! It hurt like a bitch when Pixie zapped me!

" _The Shadow's mask acts as a shield. Until it is broken or removed they are impervious to damage._ " Faunus told me.

"You could have told me that before," I muttered and gripped my sword tightly as the other Shadow advanced on me. I leapt forward, crossing the distance between us.

It lifted its thick arms up, but it was too slow! I gave a shout and swung my sword, slicing through its mask!

It contorted and shed its masked form, forming into a second bowl cut gremlin.

Without warning something heavy collided with my back, and a pair of arms wrapped around my neck.

"I got you!" The first gremlin cackled and bit down on my neck.

I yelped in pain and reached up, trying to pull it off to no effect.

"I'll help!" Pixie called out and lifted a hand.

I felt a faint draining sensation deep inside accompanied by a sense of panic. "W-wai—"

"Zio!"

I screamed as the bolt of electricity struck the thing on my back and ran right through me. To my relief it was nowhere near as painful as the first time, with the football headed monster taking the brunt of the blast.

Its grip loosened and I threw it at its friend with all my might.

They collided and tumbled to the ground.

I wasted no time and ran over, giving them a vicious kick!

It grabbed my leg as I kicked it and bit down on my ankle.

It hurt.

Not as much as the lightning—but it did all the same.

I swung my sword at its head with all my strength and the plastic blade cleaved through its body.

The gremlin's body evaporated into embers of shadow, and in seconds it was gone.

The remaining gremlin panicked and scrambled backwards, raising one of its large hands. "W-wait!" It stammered. "I-I know we got off on the wrong foot bu—"

I cleaved it in two, giving it no chance to bargain for its life.

Pixie stared at me.

I could feel Faunus' surprise as well.

"…What?" I said, frowning. "I know where that was going. There's no way I'm going to let a creepy bowl cut monster into my soul."

"Ah! That makes sense!" Pixie said, smiling brightly and nodding before she vanished and I felt her return to her place in my heart.

"… _I cannot fault your logic,"_ Faunus conceded. " _It was an unpleasant creature, wasn't it? Pixie is significantly more pleasing to the eye."_

" _Oh you! Teehee!"_

I beamed. "We really are the same aren't we Faunus?" I said happily

" _Was there ever any doubt?_ "

I mean… maybe a little. He _did_ leave me to fend for myself against Pixie's Shadow form.

" _It was for your own good._ " Faunus insisted with a huff. I could practically feel it fold its arms defensively. " _I only want what's best for you, Issei._ "

I couldn't help but smile, even as my cheeks burned faintly. I shook my head soon after. "What do we do now?" I asked, glancing around at what remained of the room—mostly rubble.

The large double doors behind me were still closed—as were the side doors and the one between the stairwells.

"Pixie, do you know where Akamine is?" I asked the voice in my head.

" _Uhm… I think I had a key?_ "

I blinked It wasn't what I had asked, but I'd take it. I turned around and walked to where I had struck down her Shadowself.

I leaned down and peered at the rubble, and a faint glimmer caught my eye. "Aha!" I grinned and picked up a thick brass key from the rubble. "Thanks Pixie!" I said and made my way over toward the door between the two stair wells.

I slotted the key in and twisted it. There was a heavy thud as the door unlocked.

I turned the handle and pushed. It swung open slowly and I stepped through.

"What the…" I found myself slowing down as I entered what could only be described as a giant atrium. Each of the four sides were covered with several levels of balconies, on which I could see 'customers' mingling with the 'employees' in their skimpy uniforms.

I found myself unnerved—but not for the reasons you'd have thought.

Everything was discoloured by an unpleasant red light.

As I stepped forward I began to see the reason.

Far, far up in the sky—at least three stories up—was a large domed glass roof, beyond which laid the sinister red sky. I could see the edges of the sun creeping along, the flames of shadow licking at the corners of the glass.

I swallowed and turned my gaze out to the atrium itself.

It was a sight to say the least.

There was a large shallow pool near the centre and it was surrounded by dozens of water fountains, manicured hedges and garden beds thick with flowers with colours so bright they managed to resist being dyed by the eerie red light.

The pool wasn't empty.

It was filled with facsimiles of the Junes employees, all of them wearing miniscule bikinis that were white and orange. From what I saw the water must have been very cold—or their swimsuits must have been as thin as they looked—because a lot of them were partnering up to… share body warmth.

I reluctantly looked away and saw that there was a path of large stepping stones leading toward the centre of the pool.

My expression darkened as I laid eyes on my target—the enemy of all women!

In the middle of the pool was a tiered island. On the lowest rungs several Junes employees—including Ruri were also… sharing body warmth.

At the top of them all sat a large throne made of gold and encrusted with dozens of gems of wildly different shapes and colours.

Akamine sat upon it in a silky white robe. A scantily clad girl stood beside him, feeding him grapes, and another knelt… between… his… legs?

"Akamine!" I shouted out at him as I crossed the stepping stones.

Akamine's yellow eyes snapped toward me and a look of displeasure crossed his face as we made eye contact. He lifted a hand up and the girl feeding him stepped away, and the one between his knees… finished what she was doing and shuffled away as Akamine casually folded one of his legs across the other and reclined in his throne. "Oh? Didn't I already deal with you earlier today?" He asked, before lazily waving a hand. "Welcome to my Playjunes Mansion. Keep your hands off the merchandise, alright kid?"

I attempted to seethe internally.

It didn't take.

"You fucking bastard!" I shouted at him. I slashed my fake sword through the air and pointed the tip at him. "You're abusing your position and your employees!"

He sneered at me. "You're a child, what do you know?" He lifted a hand and gestured at the scantily clad fake employees around him. "These are all grown women—each capable of making their own decisions, and they _chose_ to work beneath me." He paused, and smirked, reaching up and running a finger down the jugular of a woman that looked distressingly like his receptionist.

"Often literally," he purred out as she quivered at his touch, and a faint moan escaped her lips.

I saw red—even more then there already was.

I didn't know where his Shard of Desire was—I didn't care.

This… this bastard…

"It's assholes like you that give people like me a bad name!" I snarled at him and broke out into a sprint.

Akamine held up a hand. "Relax, kid," he said to me, his tone condescending. "You wanted a job right? How does janitor sound? I could use someone to clean up after me," he said with a laugh.

I grinded my teeth together and glared at him.

"Hey now, don't knock it, there are… perks."

The silk robe wearing ass snapped his fingers and I found my route to him cut off as several of the facsimiles of the Junes employees sidled up toward me.

Each one of them dripping wet—the bikini's they wore doing as little to hide their modesty as a wet tissue.

"Hey, mister!" One of them said brightly, her smile enticing. "Come play with us!"

Several more swam over toward the stepping stones that I stood upon and drew themselves up, resting their arms and upper bodies on the stone surface. It did wonderful things to their breasts, accentuating their fullness to the point where I couldn't look away. I watched a droplets of water cascaded down over the swell of their breasts and I found myself enchanted.

"Come play with us," Another of the employees—a bottle blonde purred into my ear as she pressed herself against my back, her arms sliding around my waist as two large _things_ pressed into my back.

I whimpered as my resolve found itself thoroughly being tested.

They are not real, I told myself.

But they felt _so_ good!

They are fake, I told myself firmly.

One of the employees took my hand and slowly lifted it toward her chest.

My eyes locked onto the girl's chest as my hand slowly moved toward it.

I felt time slow down.

I felt the heat of her body radiating from her… from her…

"No!" I shouted and reached out, grasping my outstretched hand by the wrist and jerking it back. "I will not be tempted by fakes!" I declared and pushed past the beautiful… fake… horrible… evil girls who I couldn't let myself touch despite the fact that they clearly wanted me to.

The girls around me went completely still, and their expressions became blank and emotionless. Whatever sexuality they'd been exuding had abruptly been extinguished by my rejection.

I pushed past them and began to advance on the throne.

An ugly look passed over Akamine's face. His lips curled back into a sneer and a moment later he erupted into a cloud of crimson veined shadow that momentarily obscured him and his throne from view.

The shadows dissipated and I found myself stumbling in shock at what Akamine had become.

There… there was no easy way to say it.

He had grown in size significantly and his robe had vanished, revealing a gaunt and muscled purple figure. What had remained of his hair had vanished, and in its place two large obsidian horns had sprouted from his forehead. His facial features had changed significantly—with a large crooked nose and two large pointed ears having taken the place of his plain features. His teeth had become pointed and sharp, and his wispy goatee had grown into a thick grey beard.

But…

The most startling change of all—beyond the fact that he had grown a thin devils tail—or that he was utterly, utterly naked was that his throne had also transformed.

Gone was the gem encrusted throne, and in its place was…

… A porcelain throne.

I found myself caught in the duality of the sheer intimidation of what he had become, and the incredulousness of the toilet he sat upon.

" _Issei! Focus! This is not an enemy to be taken lightly!_ " Faunus hissed into my mind, snapping me out of my stupor.

I shook my head and clutched my sword. "R-right!"

I took a deep breath and broke out into a sprint toward the horned devil. I reached into my heart—metaphorically—and drew out Pixie. She arrived in a burst of incandescent flame and immediately extended a hand toward the creature that Akamine had become—a creature that I instinctively knew to be called Belphegor.

Lightning pooled between her fingertips and arced toward him, striking him directly in his chest.

The purple monster swayed backwards an inch, but otherwise seemed nonplussed by the attack from Pixie. He lifted one of his large hands and brushed away the faint singe mark on his chest. " **Is this the strength of your resolve?** " He asked, his voice the verbal equivalent of nails on a chalkboard.

"W-what?! No Fair!" Pixie protested as she saw her attack amount to little. She flinched as Belphegor's eyes turned to her and flew behind me, her small head peaking over my shoulder.

" **Allow me to show you mine.** " Belphegor's lips peeled back in a mockery of a smile and it lifted a gold gloved hand, extending a crooked black talon toward me.

" **Bufula.** "

There was a cold snap and my world froze.

Frost formed on my skin as my insides did their best impression of an ice cube. Twisting spikes of ice erupted from the floor around me, and I barely avoided being skewered. The ice quickly spread to the water around me and the pool was flash frozen as spires of twisted jagged ice formed. In mere moments I found myself surrounded by a thick field of twisted ice.

Pixie let out a cry of pain and the next moment I felt her vanish and return to her place within my heart.

The facsimiles of the Junes employees perished, flickering out of existence as if they had never been there—the only signs of them were the empty holes that had formed in the ice where their legs had been.

The temperature had plummeted, and the cold bit at my skin like rabid ants— my feet felt as though they had been frozen solid.

I let out a shout of surprise as I realized that the ice had begun to crawl up my legs. I swung my sword at the ice, frantically attempting to break it and free my legs—but no matter how hard I struck it, or how many times the ice remained resilient.

My ears were filled with the sound of Belphegor's mocking laughter as I desperately tried to break the hold the ice had gained on my legs. It couldn't end like this. I refused to become a human ice sculpture!

" _Call upon me!_ " Faunus demanded, its tone urgent as it resounded in my mind.

"F-Faunus!" I shouted out its name, desperately willing it into existence.

My inner self appeared with little to no fanfare.

One moment it was not, and then in a faint flash of blue fire, it was.

Faunus hadn't changed since the first time I had summoned it. I found myself envious of the thick coat of black fur that coated its upper and lower body.

It wasted no time in bringing its flute to its lips. A melodious tune issued forth and the ice creeping up my legs shattered.

"Nice!" I said with a grin as I shook off the frost from my legs. "Let's kick his ass!" I took a step forward—only for my foot to slide on the ice. I would have fallen and impaled myself on the ice had Faunus not reached over and steadied me.

"Thanks," I said, smiling at it briefly before turning my gaze to the enemy.

Akamine's Shadow—Belphegor—had not moved from its porcelain throne. Its lips were pulled back in a mockery of a smile, showing off its jagged, unpleasant teeth. " **Is that all you have?** " It asked, its voice jeering. " **Greater men than you have tried and failed to take what was rightfully mine!** "

A grinding sound filled my ears. It took me several moments to realize that it was coming from me grinding my own teeth. I stopped and took a breath.

There was no point in getting worked up.

I had to stay cool—not cold, just cool.

I felt Faunus' approval, before it whispered into my mind. " _Be ready."_

Before I could ask what for, Faunus took off like a rocket toward the horned demon, smashing through the field of hoarfrost and spires of ice as though they had been made of sand.

I watched as Belphegor's attention was drawn to the greater threat, and its finger was drawn away from me.

" **Bufula.** "

Ice erupted around Faunus as it moved, and yet somehow it remained untouched as it danced across the atrium, its cloven hooves never quite touching the ground as spears of jagged ice erupted in its wake.

As it danced, it brought its flute to its lips and blew. A tune bellowed forth—different from the one previous. It was similar to one that it had played before that had driven the Oni that Monsuda had commanded to attack him.

Belphegor however seemed unaffected and snarled out another Bufula as Faunus continued to effortlessly slip through the ice that erupted around it.

I found myself just standing there and watching, suddenly feeling very out of my league. It was like something out of a movie—it was something that was beyond me.

Faunus had told me to be ready—but ready for what?

What could I do that Faunus couldn't?

It was running circles around the demon—literally. Belphegor couldn't even touch Faunus, and I as the seconds ticked on I was becoming more and more exhausted. The smart thing to do was…

I metaphorically froze as a sudden realization struck me.

I had misunderstood what was happening.

I had made a massive error in judgement.

It wasn't that Faunus was evading the attacks.

That hadn't been what was happening at all.

The ice—the jagged spikes and twisting spires— the hoarfrost that formed in its wake wasn't the attack.

That was just an aftereffect.

The actual attack was the bone chilling cold that it inflicted—a cold that sapped strength and made brittle what was strong.

More than that I had forgotten something fundamental.

I am Thou. Thou art I.

Every time Faunus was hurt I was hurt as well—not physically but something deeper and spiritual. Even now I could feel a weariness settling in on me that I had only felt during some of the most stressful of days in my life—like when I had narrowly avoided missing out on pre-ordering my limited edi—that wasn't important.

What was important was that Faunus couldn't keep this up forever.

Even now I could see frost beginning to form on fur.

He was distracting Belphegor to buy me time to find an opening—and I had just been standing around like an idiot!

I focused all my attention on Belphegor and tightened my grip on the fake sword in my hand.

The purple demons eyes were solely focused on Faunus, and a cruelly amused smile sat on its lips as it painted the atrium in ice. No matter where Faunus ran its eyes would follow—but it would never get up off its toilet.

I knew that it was important somehow—even if I didn't know why.

I began to slowly creep forward, using the field of ice as cover as I got closer and closer.

A shrill sound pierced my ears as Faunus finally began his counter attack.

Belphegor let out a bellowing howl of pain as welts began to erupt all over its naked body. It writhed in pain upon its porcelain throne and its concentration wavered.

My eyes widened. This was it!

I broke out into a sprint, crossing the remainder of the distance between where I was and the dais that the purple demon resided.

I let out a shout and leapt through the air—my jump carried me further and higher than I expected—I swung my sword down toward Belphegor's neck.

The moment felt like an eternity as gravity took hold and my blade descended.

At the very last moment Belphegor twisted its body and its arm raised up slamming into my stomach.

I let out a grunt of pain as I was smacked away like a ragdoll, painfully crashing through several spires of ice. They shattered and the fragments of ice dug into my body painfully, my clothes doing less than nothing to shield me from the debris.

Pain exploded throughout my body—but it was done.

Belphegor howled in agony as its two obsidian horns clattered to the ground in front of it before evaporating into shadow. It clutched the top of its head, writhing in pain. " **Yoooou!** " It snarled out as its head snapped toward me.

"Suck it." I said, giving it the biggest shit eating grin I could muster as I lifted up a hand and flipped it off.

Belphegor gave me a look filled with pure loathing and it lifted its hand up, its intention to end me.

Faunus made itself known in that instance.

If you've never seen a giant purple demon get bitch slapped across the face by an anthropomorphic goat you should at some point.

I highly recommend it.

I did my best to ignore the several dozen shards of ice stabbing into my back and enjoyed the sight of Belphegor being knocked off his throne as best I could.

Belphegor hit the ground in what I hoped was a painful way, and he rolled. As he did he began to shrink, and his demonic features receded until only Akamine remained.

I dragged myself over to Akamine as he laid there, quivering in pain. I did my best to ignore the shards of ice sticking out of me and enjoy the simple experience of seeing him in pain.

Unfortunately at some point his robe had come undone and I saw… _things_. Things that required immediate repression for the sake of all things good and pure in this world.

Somehow I resisted the urge to throw up.

"W-why did you do this?" Akamine asked, his yellow eyes wide and fearful. "I-I thought we had an understanding?" He stammered, trembling as he pulled himself onto his knees. "W-wait! D-don't kill me!" He pleaded, raising his hands in an appeasing gesture.

I felt a minor surge of panic at the thought of him trying to 'bargain' for his life and my immediate reaction was to lift up the sword in my hand to finish the job. It was only Faunus' reassuring presence that stopped me from trying to prematurely end the negotiation.

Seeing my hesitation Akamine waddled closer on his knees. "H-hey you wanted a job right, right?! H-how does assistant manager sound?" he offered me eagerly. "You can do whatever you want—to any of the girls!"

"…You're a real piece of shit," My eyes flickered up to the top of his head. His man bun was missing. It must have been severed when I cut off Belphegor's horns. His thin hair had fallen, revealing a large bald patch on the top of his head.

Faunus must have returned to my soul at some point, because I felt its reassuring presence at my back.

I took a deep breath and counted down from five before I released it, along with my anger.

I smiled down at the worthless bastard in front of me.

"Fuck you and fuck your understanding." I lifted the sword in my hand up and pointed it at his throat. "Girls are the most beautiful things in this world. If I find out you've touched a single hair on Ruri-chan's—or _any_ of their bodies—I'll be back to finish the job."

Akamine nodded rapidly. "S-sure! I understand completely! B-but what if they—"

"A. Single. Hair."

Akamine whimpered and began to crawl away through the remains of the icefield that he had created.

All that was left was finding his Shard.

But I already had an inkling about that.

I made my way over to the dais slowly, where the porcelain throne had once more become golden.

I placed my hand upon it and…

It was hard to describe what I did. It felt vaguely similar to how I called upon Pixie.

I reached inside it and took hold of the spark of desire that it had grown from.

When I opened my eyes the throne had vanished, and in its place I found a bronze nameplate.

I left soon after and made my way to the front of the demesne. The doors that had been shut were open and the masked bouncers gave me a wide berth, for which I was grateful.

A strong breeze could have done me in—not that I let it show.

I found the Door to the Blue Velvet Room in the courtyard, just beside the Junes Fountain. It was identical to the first one, from the darkness ever present in the door frame, right down to the faint blue glow at the bottom.

I closed my eyes and stepped through. When I opened them again I found relief in the sights and smells of the familiar room.

Except.

It wasn't _all_ familiar.

"Good Evening, Master. I am pleased to make your acquaintance."

—~—


	5. Prologue: Chapter Five

— **~—**

Once upon a time, in the far off kingdom of Kuoh, there existed a trio of adventurers. A warrior, a mage and an ordinary pervert. They found themselves at the local tavern on a day like any other, when they suddenly heard whispers, whispers that the Promised Land had been found.

They gathered their meagre wealth and together they set off on a perilous journey by horseless caravan. The journey was long and fraught with boredom, but in time the three adventurers arrived in the holy land of Akihabara. Their arrival had been greeted by the local mystics who wore catgirl ears and dispensed sacred writ foretelling the adventurers of the location of what they sought.

Following the mystics' direction, the three adventurers soon found their fabled Promised Land and knew it by its true name; Nirvana. Inside they found themselves surrounded by beautiful angels wearing white and black. The angels waited upon them, feeding them delicious sugar cookies and overpriced beverages with a smile.

But all good things must come to an end.

Once their wealth had run dry, the angels bid the three adventurers farewell, and they were forced to depart the Promised Land; for angels refused to serve the now poor adventurers, despite the fact that they had been super nice to them and gave them super adorable smiles.

It may shock you—so brace yourself—but the truth is… I was that ordinary pervert. The Promised Land hadn't actually been Nirvana. It had been one of a chain of maid cafes—but it had been my nirvana.

Cute adorable girls in maid outfits waiting on your every whim?

It had been _my_ nirvana—my nirvana that I had been cast out of when I and my friends ran out of money.

It had been my nirvana, and it had been filled with beautiful angels wearing maid outfits.

My friends Matsuda and Motohama—the warrior and mage in my tale—and I had made a pact to one day return to our Promised Land. Unfortunately, a week after we had visited, it had been closed down due to several health code violations.

Now, you must be asking yourself; why. Why are you telling me such a sorrowful tale of hopes and dreams torn down and cast into the abyss?

Well, the truth is ever since then I had always had a soft spot in my heart for maids—so much so that when I had been given the choice by Igor to select what my companion in the Velvet Room would be, I had chosen Maid, even beyond such temptations like 'Childhood friend' and 'Magical Girl'.

I had asked for my companion to be a Maid—and she was.

I had been prepared for many things.

Many… many things.

I had been prepared for my maid to be cute—or to not be cute—though I would have definitely preferred the cute option! I had been prepared for her to be Japanese—or a foreigner! Either option was tantalizing to my imagination. The point—the point was that I had been prepared to have my expectations met, and I had been prepared to be disappointed.

I had not, however, been prepared for… her.

I found myself sitting in one of the Velvet Room's booths. In front of me was a pale white cup sitting upon a saucer. It was filled with a faint amber coloured tea. Steam gently wafted up from the still surface. To one side was a silver dish with sugar cubes, on the other a small pitcher of milk.

I glanced over at the bar.

Igor wasn't there.

I turned my gaze back to the cup of tea in front of me. The tea smelled heavenly, and yet I was afraid to drink it—because I was afraid that I was so flustered that I couldn't trust myself to remember how to swallow it. A lump had formed in my throat that was resisting my efforts to remove it.

It took trial and error, but eventually it went away, and I found myself glancing to my right, before quickly averting my eyes back to my tea and flushing.

"Is the tea not to your liking, Master?"

"N-no!" I said, frantically waving my hands in denial. "No the tea smells lovely!" I insisted, and decided to bite the bullet. I picked the cup of tea up and took a small sip. It was warm—almost hot really and it tasted wonderful. It had faint floral hints to it as well as an undertone of sweetness—there wasn't a trace of bitterness to it.

I licked my lips and set the tea down onto the saucer. "It tastes delicious," I said, attempting once more to look at the Maid who had served such wonderful tea to me.

It was hard… like staring into the sun—not because she was a gigantic ball of superheated plasma—but because she was so radiant and beautiful that I was afraid that if I kept staring at her I'd go blind.

I had thought that the maids at the café had been beautiful angels. But they were to her what acne ridden teenagers were to a gravure model.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Even now I could see her in my mind. Every detail as vivid as if I were still looking right at her, from the finely tailored French maid outfit she wore that perfectly accentuated her cleavage—right down to her perfectly manicured silvery-white eyebrows and deep, golden eyes.

"It's delicious," I repeated as I opened my eyes and smiled at her.

My maid—whose name I didn't know yet, stood there. She looked like she was maybe a few years older than me, but the way she held herself made me feel like I was in the presence of an adult. Her posture was perfect, her maid outfit crisp as though it had never been worn before. She bore the faintest hint of cleavage—but in this case less was certainly more. Her bust was certainly on the more side—that much I could tell before I forced my eyes upward to her face—I didn't want to give her a bad impression of myself.

She had short silvery white hair that reached just above her shoulders. It was sort of shaggy—but not in an untidy way. It was shaggy in that 'effortlessly attractive' way that took hundreds of dollars and hours of work from a skilled hairdresser. Her cheekbones were flawless, and dusted with a faint, healthy pink upon her pale white skin. Her lips and nose—her everything was perfect. I could have gone on for years describing every part of her that appealed to me—and I would have, had I not found myself staring once again.

I coughed and forced myself to look away, back down toward my tea. "It's really good tea," I said, my cheeks flushed as I picked it up and took another clumsy sip.

My maid let out a faint breath. "Does my appearance displease you, Master?"

My eyes widened. "N-no! Not at all! You're perfect!" I insisted, looking at her once more. "R-really too beautiful for a guy like me," I said, my tone dejected, as well as my expression in the face of the honest truth.

She blinked those beautiful golden eyes of hers. "Do you feel that you are unworthy of my beauty?" She asked, her tone reserved, but curious.

I found myself hesitating to answer.

She took my lack of answer as an answer in, and of itself.

"If I may be so presumptuous to offer Master advice?"

"S-sure."

Her lips, which had been set into a neutral expression up until that point, curved a fraction of a degree upward. It wasn't anything approaching a smile—but it was there. "In this world, one must seize what they desire. Even if they believe they are unworthy." she told me.

I found myself frozen, my brain locked up as I failed to process her words.

I must have misheard or misunderstood her. It sounded like she was… telling me to seize her? My face felt like it had caught fire as multiple scenarios—each more erotic than the last—flashed through my mind. By the time my brain had rebooted the tea in front of me had become cold—but she was still standing in the exact same position, her expression passive and patient.

"Sorry," I said, giving a nervous laugh as I scratched the back of my head. "Got caught up in my thoughts," I half lied.

"I am but your humble maid, please do not feel the need to apologise to me, Master." The Maid said, her tone polite.

I winced. "Still…" I trailed off, unsure what to say to her exactly. "What did you mean by what you said?" I asked after an awkward silence. "One must seize what they desire," I quoted her, my lips frowning ever so slightly as I said it.

I had seen what happened to people who allowed their desire to run rampant—Akamine and to a lesser extent Matsuda. Their desires had taken on a will of their own—Matsuda had become a multi-limbed monster—and Akamine had become a giant naked demon. I was not ignorant of the fact that my desires were many and great—but in essence they all boiled down to a simple truth.

I desired girls.

I had accepted that long ago, yet I found myself concerned with what twisted shape they would take if given a chance—what if they had already taken shape, and there was a Shadow of me in the World of Desire? What would that Issei be like? What would he become?

…despite my concerns, somehow I felt a bit jealous.

If such a place existed I wanted to see it with my own two eyes, and, if possible… feel it with my own two hands.

"Ahem."

"Sorry!" I apologised instantly, snapping out of my introspection.

"I am but your humble maid, please do not feel the need to apologise to me, Master." The Maid repeated using the exact same tone as she had prior.

I winced and almost apologised again, before I caught myself.

I took a breath and forced myself to smile. "Could you call me Issei?"

"Of course Master Issei."

I went crimson.

"Would you like me to clarify my earlier statement for you now?"

I nodded mutely. I didn't trust myself to speak. Instead I picked up my cold cup of tea and began to sip on it.

"One must seize what they desire," She repeated her earlier words. "This world is a cruel world," she told me, her voice polite and her face expressionless. "Tomorrow is promised to no man. If you covet something that is not yours, than you must have the strength to take it."

I winced at that. As beautiful as my maid was, she certainly didn't pull her verbal punches. "And if… you don't have the strength?"

"Then you must become stronger."

If I was being honest, I had no real clue what she was talking about—but it sounded important. She certainly believed it was important enough to tell me.

'One must seize what they desire.'

But didn't that go directly against what I had seen within the World of Desire?

Excess desire was dangerous—it lead to things that weren't… good. Things that manifested as abhorrent behaviour. Or maybe I wasn't seeing the bigger picture. I had only seen two cases of rampant desire—perhaps I needed a larger sample size?

I found myself being more at ease in the presence of my beautiful maid.

So much so that I couldn't help myself.

"So," I began, giving her what I hoped was a charming smile. "What would you say to someone who coveted something that was too beautiful for them?"

She considered my question for a moment. "I would tell such a person that they needed to train for at least a thousand years to become strong enough."

Hurk! Critical damage suffered… forget Sona. This maid's words should have been registered as weapons of mass demoralization!

Still… she hadn't said it was impossible.

I took solace in that.

I let out a soft laugh and stared down at my empty teacup.

"Would you like more tea, Master Issei?" My golden eyed maid asked, her tone formal and her expression faintly amused.

"I would love more tea," I told her honestly. It had been delicious—more so when it had been warm.

The silver haired maid collected my cup and saucer, before she quietly stepped away from the table and made her way over to the bar—presumably to prepare more tea. I watched her walk the short distance from the booth to the bar.

She looked good doing it—but then if I was being honest, she probably looked good no matter what she did. She had a sort of innate poise that shined through whatever she did. She could probably make something as boring and tedious as watering plants look sexy.

I found myself fidgeting as I waited for her to return, with my gaze wandering around the interior of the velvet room. I could faintly hear the piano still playing that melodious tune from my first visit, as though it was very far away.

After a while I propped my cheek up on my knuckle and watched my maid diligently prepare the tea, her motions practiced with little to no wasted movement.

As I watched her, a stray thought occurred to me.

"Say—I didn't quite catch your name earlier."

The silver haired maid paused in her motions and turned her golden eyes toward me.

A faint smile formed on her lips.

"I didn't tell you."

I found myself smiling right back at her, unable to help myself. "Will you tell me your name?"

She considered my question.

"I do not believe so."

Somehow I had been expecting that answer. "Because I'm not strong enough?" I asked her, amused despite the rejection—or rather, because of it.

"That is correct."

I didn't let that put me out.

"A reason to get stronger then, I guess."

After several minutes, a fresh cup of tea was set in front of me and the maid took her position beside the table, her hands dutifully clasped below her waist. "Your tea, Master Issei."

"Thanks," I said with a smile and picked it up. I blew on it lightly, before taking a sip and immediately regretting it as the piping hot tea scalded my lips and tongue. I tried not to let my discomfort show as I carefully set it back down.

"Master Issei. The proprietor of this establishment had several matters he wished for me to discuss with you."

I blinked owlishly.

Oh, right. She wasn't here just for my personal enjoyment was she? What had Igor said… that I needed a companion for my journey? Whatever that meant.

"Sure, I'm all ears for you!" I told her.

She gave a faint bow maybe an inch or two forward, before she straightened up. "May I ascertain that you have welcomed a new Persona into your heart?" She asked plainly.

I found myself surprised that she knew that—could she sense Pixie's presence inside me and was just asking to be polite? It could very well have been that she didn't know—but somehow I didn't think that was the case. It was a weird question to ask, after all.

"I have," I admitted.

"May I see?"

I couldn't see a reason to refuse, so I didn't—plus maybe it'd earn me points if I showed her something cool! I lifted a hand up and placed it on my chest, reaching inward and grasping at Pixie's essence.

A cool weight formed in my hand.

I blinked and looked down, only to find a small gold rimmed silver coin in my hand. I lifted it up in confusion and took a moment to study it. To my surprise it had a visage embossed on it. The eyes were closed and the expression was peaceful, but without a doubt it was Pixie. I turned it over and found that on the opposite side it had a heart faintly engraved.

"I have confirmed that Hyoudou Issei possesses the Wild Card attribute."

I looked up at the silver haired maid in surprise. "What?"

Golden eyes stared impassively at me. "You are a Fool."

I flinched. "M-mean…"

"…I did not mean it as an insult. Do you possess knowledge of the Arcana?" the Maid asked.

I knew… vaguely about it. Igor had explained a bit when he had read my fortune.

It must have shown on my face.

"There are twenty one major Arcana," she began to explain. "The Fool is one of them."

"Oh. Okay."

That explained… a whole lot of nothing.

That definitely showed on my face—I realized that as soon as the Maid's lips compressed into a thin line.

"So you're saying I'm a Fool, not a fool?"

"That is correct."

I wanted to ask what that meant, but… I didn't want her to be annoyed with me. "S-so it's related to that Wild Card thing you mentioned?" I clarified.

"That is correct."

"What _is_ the Wild Card?"

"In its most simple form, it is the innate ability to create bonds, and turn them into strength."

That didn't sound very simple…

I went silent as I mulled over her words. Turn bonds into strength…

"Do you mean like what happened with Pixie?" I asked, glancing down at the coin in my hand.

"While that is also a part of your ability as a Wild Card it is not what I refer to," she told me, before briefly pausing. "You were sincere in your desire to gain strength?" She sought clarification from me.

If it meant she'd tell me her name so I could call her something other than 'the maid' then yes. I told her as much.

She accepted my words with a nod. "Very well. I have heard your words and accepted them. If I may be so presumptuous, please allow me to impart my own words unto you, Master Issei."

Ah she said it again. "S-sure!" I said, suddenly very eager.

"Very well." She shifted her weight ever so slightly. "If you wish to gain strength then I may suggest three ways to do so," she told me and held up her index finger. "First. Allow me to formally instruct you."

I nodded quickly.

My beautiful maid fell silent, and she seemed to be considering her words carefully. I couldn't help but appreciate the effort—as well as how cute she looked when she was deep in thought.

"There exists in this world, a place that is not a place," she spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully. "It is known as the Sea of Souls. It is said that all souls are born from it, and all souls eventually will return to it. Within this Sea of Souls, there is a wellspring from which existences are formed from humanity's cognition of mythological beings. These beings govern and influence how individual humans behave, and how they develop overtime." She paused. "You know these beings as Persona."

I stared at the silver haired maid, struggling to process what she had told me—unfortunately she wasn't done.

"When a human's inner desires become abhorrent, they form malevolent entities known as—"

"Shadows," I whispered.

She inclined her head ever so slightly. "That is correct. In truth, Persona and Shadow are two sides of the same coin," she told me, gesturing to what I held in my hand. "Whereas most of humanity is able to manifest a single representative Persona, you are unique in that you are capable of holding multiple Persona in your heart."

Now that she mentioned it I had felt… a lot stronger when Pixie had forced her way into my heart, hadn't I? I had been able to run faster—and jump higher as well! Did that mean that… if I kept gathering Persona then there were no limits to how strong I could become?

My nose crinkled. She had said that Persona and Shadow were the same—did that mean Belphegor was also a Persona? He had been strong… but I wasn't sure if I was willing to let a freaky demon like that into my heart.

"Your ability to wield multiple Persona will become a great strength—but it will also become your greatest weakness."

My head snapped up. "What?"

"Persona govern and influence behaviour," she repeated what she had said earlier. "I have been told that your persona originally manifested as Faunus, is that correct?"

I nodded slowly.

"Faunus is your Persona because it most closely resembles the you who exists today. It resides in the core of your identity."

My brow furrowed. "Wait are you saying that…"

"The human soul is resilient, but it is not immutable."

I swallowed a lump that had developed in my throat and looked down at the innocuous coin in my hand with a newly developed caution.

I found myself looking inward.

I… didn't feel different.

I felt the same as always.

I loved women—especially their breasts. I thought they were the most divine thing in the world.

"I have caused you alarm. I apologise. You should not be worried. Pixie is a small, innocent thing. The changes she might wrought on your personality, if they will occur, they will be very minor."

I looked beyond what she said to what she didn't say.

"…But there are Persona who are a lot meaner than her, aren't there?" I asked, looking up from Pixie's coin to my silver haired maid for confirmation.

She nodded.

I bit down on my bottom lip. "You said there were three ways?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable and wanting to move on from the subject.

To my relief, she didn't resist the change in subject.

"The second way you may gain strength is through the formation and realization of deep and meaningful relationships."

Rather than go with my gut reaction of asking 'what', I took a moment to consider what she had said.

"You're talking about what you said before, aren't you? Bonds, I mean."

For a brief instance—so brief I was almost certain that I had imagined it again—she smiled.

"That is correct, Master Issei. You, like all humans have the ability to form bonds with others. However, unlike others, you have the ability to convert these bonds into inner strength."

That was… cool! I could become more powerful just by making friends? I already had two great friends—we jerked off together and everything! I bet once I understood how to use this 'bond to strength' power of mine I'd become unstoppable!

"To be clear, I am not speaking of superficial relationships."

I stiffened and looked at her in surprise.

Could… she read my mind?

"I cannot read your mind, Master Issei."

She totally could!

"I cannot read your mind," she repeated calmly. "Your face however, is an open book to me. You were thinking about your current relationships and how strong they were, is this correct?"

I nodded slowly and did my best to avoid thinking… certain things about… certain people—I didn't think she was one to lie but… just in case it was better to take precautions.

The impassive look she gave me right after left me even more confused as to if she could or couldn't. "You said 'deep and meaningful relationships'," I quoted her, doing my best to quickly move along the topic. "What exactly does that mean?"

I found myself surprised as she fell silent and seemed to mull over her words. Could it be that she didn't know how to explain it? Somehow I didn't think that was the issue. Instead… could it be that she was having a hard time putting it into words I'd understand?

"I am speaking of relationships built not out of convenience, but out of the enduring of trial and the development of mutual understanding," she said. "Relationships with people who by moral alignment, nature or faith would stand by you in the face of adversity without hope, witness or reward."

I suddenly felt very, very small in the face of what felt like a very, very large mountain.

I wasn't certain that I was capable of doing what she asked of me.

Matsuda and Motohama were my closest friends—the deepest and most meaningful relationships I had… and they would throw me to the wolves in an instant if they thought it would save them a beating from Katase or Murayama.

My parents had left me to my own devices for an entire year at a moment's notice and they had been with me since forever.

I found myself becoming depressed as I realized that I couldn't really name other people who I felt I shared a strong relationship with—most everyone else for one reason or another had expressed a dislike of me.

Sometimes, I wasn't afraid to admit, with good reason.

For some reason my mind drifted to a friend I used to have a long time ago when I was still a kid—Iri-kun, my old next door neighbour.

We used to do everything together. We played together, slept together—we even bathed together sometimes!

But... Iri-kun moved away a long time ago. I vaguely remembered my mother handing me the phone and Iri-kun being on the other end once or twice but… my last real memory was watching him bang on the back window of his parents car as they drove off… he was always such a cry baby.

"Master Issei?"

I looked at the maid.

She had her hand extended to me—holding a white handkerchief.

I looked at it in confusion, before I realized that my face felt a bit damp.

I reached up and touched my cheek.

My fingertips came away wet,

I had been crying? I blinked and felt fresh tears roll down my cheeks.

I guess I had been.

I accepted the handkerchief without a word and used it to quickly wipe my face dry. "Thanks," I said, giving her an embarrassed—if not grateful smile. "Sorry, we were talking about something important weren't we?"

My beautiful and kind maid took a small, sharp breath and closed her eyes. "I am but your humble maid," she said once more. "Please do not feel the need to apologise to me, Master Issei."

"I'm sorry that I apologised to you again," I told her.

Her eyes snapped open and narrowed at me.

I couldn't help but laugh.

Her expression softened. "You are incorrigible, Master Issei. I shall, however, endeavour to do my best to encourage proper behaviour."

I… really, really liked my maid. There was something about her—beyond her looks which were immaculate and perfect in every way—that was enticing. She could fit more meaning into a single look or errant shift in posture than most people could in words.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" I asked her, unable to keep the warmth I felt out of my voice.

"Nothing. You have done nothing to deserve me."

I almost jerked back as she slung another brutal verbal arrow into my heart and suffered immediate emotional whiplash that had my head spinning.

"T-that's t-true I s-suppose," I stammered and looked down, avoiding her gaze. I found myself staring at the wet snot stained handkerchief in my hand and immediately regretted every single life choice that had lead me to this moment.

She calmly reached over and plucked it from my hands, earning a wince from me—before folding it in half and slipping it into one of the pockets on her maid outfit without so much as a flinch.

"The third, and final method for gaining strength." She spoke, her tone polite and—a glance up told me that her expression was neutral.

Somehow that made it worse.

"Right, strength," I muttered awkwardly, fidgeting with Pixie's coin. As I did, I realized that I had begun to get tired, a sure sign that I would soon be waking up—where I would be waking up I had no idea.

I realized that she was still talking after several seconds.

"…it is the hardest, and least rewarding method—but it is one I believe you will benefit from the most."

"I… didn't quite catch that," I admitted sheepishly, even as I found myself struggling to keep my head up.

I heard a faint breath escape my maid and then, I heard it. The last thing I heard before I lost—or regained consciousness, depending how you looked at it.

"Become a better person."

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock—which was a relief, considering that the last time I had entered the World of Desire, I had woken up on the pavement half frozen to death.

"Up and at them kohai! The day is young and so are you!"

Today it was 'sporty senior schoolgirl', one of my least favourite alarm clock personalities. She was really pushy.

I forced myself out of bed and turned off my alarm.

I forced myself to have a shower and get dressed.

I forced myself to eat breakfast, and then to head to school.

I forced my body to go through the everyday motions, despite the fact that my mind was a million light years away.

I found myself sitting in class, barely paying attention to the teacher as they talked about something super unimportant—feudal japan or something equally pointless to learn.

I couldn't focus. The maid's last words had stuck with me ever since I had woke up.

'Become a better person.'

She hadn't been the first to say them to me, had she? Sona-senpai had said something similar—though in many more words and slightly less bluntly. The glasses wearing student president had said… that my work ethic was lacking and I had a bad reputation.

I was trying to get a job—so surely that counted as improving my work ethic. But… reputation? How did you even do that? I suppose you'd start by not doing things that… gave you a bad reputation?

I considered what gave me a bad reputation for half a second before I blanched.

I shook my head rapidly.

No! There was no way I'd be willing to give up admiring girls! It was my entire reason for living! B-but maybe I could… ease up a bit?

I was reluctant but… if I gave up peeping on the kendo club… that would… that would… help right? But—how would they even know that I wasn't peeping?

I was really good at it!

Stealthy like a ninja!

It was those damn bastards Matsuda and Motohama who couldn't keep their voices down when they saw something unexpected like Murayama and Katase comparing sizes!

Ahh… just thinking about it right now… was it really worth giving up something so close to my heart in order to… to what exactly?

To become a 'better person'? That was such a nebulous and vague thing to ask someone to do! Why couldn't she have just given me an instruction manual with an easy to follow ten step guide to achieving inner peace or something equally ridiculous?

I sighed and shook my head.

Alright. So if I didn't want to give up… things, then the other way would be to improve my reputation in other ways!

Who had a good reputation in school?

I lifted my head up off my desk and glances around at the other guys in my class.

I didn't know most of their names. That said about as much as anything.

Honestly, the only guy in the whole school who had a good reputation amongst the girls who I could name was…

My expression darkened as a certain blonde prince charming flashed through my mind.

That damn handsome bastard Kiba and his disarming smile! What did he even do to become so liked and popular?! Nothing! That's what! Girls just liked the way he looked!

I suppose that was the answer to being popular to be good looking and to not be bad looking! I suppose he acted… nice to everyone as well.

He was always polite, and courteous to everyone—not just the girls but the guys and teachers as well. I'd never seen him with anything but a smile on his face. It always annoyed me! No one was happy all the time.

I was certain that he was hiding some deep dark secret!

I even tried to find out what it was at some point—not that I had much luck. He was part of the 'Occult Research Club' which was a super exclusive after school club that only had four members—three of which were amongst the hottest and cutest girls in the whole school if not the city!

Dammit! It wasn't fair, why did that bastard have all the luck?!

"Issei, class is over."

I looked up in surprise, only to find Matsuda and Motohama standing nearby, amused looks on their faces. "You were really out of it, huh?" Matsuda said with a laugh, flashing me a grin. "I'm gonna head to get changed for track club alright? You should come watch sometime! I've still got it, you know?"

He clapped me on the back and quickly made his way out—no doubt eager to reclaim his past glory—not that I blamed him for wanting that, or was upset. I was happy for him.

"How about you?" I asked Motohama. "Got another 'thing' that needs to be done?"

"Well, actually. I was wondering if you were interested in," he leaned in closer and whispered. "Sampling some of the visual delights of Kuoh?"

He was talking about peeping on the kendo club members. If I was being honest, I would have loved to do that! But wouldn't that go against my commitment to being a better person, or whatever the hell I was trying to work myself into doing?

An internal struggle began as my desire for seeing semi-naked girls went to war with my newfound desire to improve myself for the sake of one day learning the silver haired maid's name—and maybe more.

"I'll pass," I said after several long arduous moments. "I have some other stuff I need to do."

Motohama clucked his tongue. "Are you sure I can't convince you?"

I shook my head. "No. I want to but…"

My phone suddenly rang.

I blinked in surprise and glanced down at the screen.

The number was a local one, but I didn't recognize it.

I accepted the call. "Hello, this is Hyoudou Issei."

I blinked slowly, my eye brows progressively raising higher and higher as the voice on the other end spoke. "…I can be there in half an hour?"

Motohama gave me an odd look and reached over, prodding my shoulder.

I slapped at his hand and gave him a look. "No, no. Thank you for calling me!" I said brightly. "I'll see you when I get there Hado-san," I said before hanging up. "Ass."

"I'm not an ass," Motohama said defensively. "You're an ass! What was that about?"

I shrugged a shoulder and gave him a smirk. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"That's why I asked."

Oh. I blinked. "It was a call back from a job interview I had yesterday. They… apparently wanted me to come in to discuss something."

Motohama's eyes widened. "Do you think you got the job?" he asked, grinning at me, before his grin vanished and a scowl took its place. "Dammit, that means you won't sell to me, will you?"

"Even if I don't get it I wouldn't sell to you," I told him flatly before packing my bag and standing up.

"Stingy," Motohama muttered in annoyance and turned away. "Be that way then!" He stormed off and out of the class room, no doubt off to go peep on a Kuoh's finest athletes.

Speaking of…

I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder. "Katase!" I called out with a smile, waving to the pink haired girl and making my way over.

She turned as she heard her name, and immediately made a face as she realized it was me. "Oh it's just you," she said, disappointed. "What do you want now? If you're trying to warn us about your friends, we already know."

"No, no!" I said quickly. "Actually I was…"

Come on brain work your magic!

"…I was going to ask if you could give me some kendo pointers."

Katase stared at me as though I had grown another head.

What the actual fuck brain?! I didn't want to give them a valid reason to beat me!

"…are you being serious?" Katase asked, folding her arms across her chest. "Do you want to join the kendo club? Because I genuinely can't tell."

I opened my mouth to respond, before closing it and opening it again.

I didn't _want_ to join the kendo club. It looked boring, if I was being honest. But on the other hand, my brain had had a… sort of good idea. I needed to get better with a sword. Kendo practice could definitely help in that regard!

Good job brain!

"I'd like to learn kendo," I said after a moment. "But I don't really want to join the club—I have a bit too much going on right now for that," I told her honestly.

Katase glanced at Murayama, who looked equally as perplexed by my request as the pink haired girl did.

The taller brown haired girl made a 'really' type of face, to which Katase did a semi shrug and a furrow of the eyebrow. I believed that meant 'I don't know, it's weird right?'

It went on for several moments as their facial expressions and postures changed as they nonverbally communicated.

"…Is this some sort of ploy to do something perverted?" Murayama asked, folding her arms across her chest. "If you are honest with us we'll consider it—but if you lie we'll know."

Psh! I was a great liar. If I wasn't being sincere they'd never know! I was so great a liar that I once convinced myself that a girl's butt was equally as attractive to me as her breasts! The deception hadn't lasted long, but it had lasted long enough—as long as I'd lasted actually!

Afterwards I had felt very, very unclean, however and needed a shower—the point was that I could totally lie if I needed to!

But I didn't need to.

"No perverted stuff," I told them, holding up my empty hands at shoulder level. "I'm trying to turn over a new leaf."

They glanced at each other and another wordless exchange passed between them.

Katase bit down on her lower lips and turned back to me. "Can we think about it?"

"Of course!" I said immediately, smiling at them. "Take all the time you need—I actually have to go now anyway, I have a job interview thing that I have to be at in half an hour." I told them a half-truth, which I may or may not have done to try and appear more dependable.

Girl's like guys with jobs, right? Or is it just money? I always get the two mixed up.

 _That_ little nugget of information got a look of surprise. "Oh, okay. We'll talk… tomorrow then I guess?" she said, glancing at Murayama once more.

"Right! It's a date!" I said happily, giving them a cheerful small wave as I turned to leave.

"W-what?! N-no it is—Hyoudou it's not a date!" Katase protested, her cheeks going crimson at the very thought.

As I left, I found myself unable to keep a smile off my lips as she continued to complain about my choice of words.

Huh… teasing girls was surprisingly fun—a lot more fun than having them give me dirty looks, that was for sure!

I made my way from the school in high spirits, happy that something had gone sort-of-well. On my way to Junes I had plenty of time to wonder about the call I had received.

The reason for the call was plain as day.

I had taken Akamine's excess desires in the form of his Shard, and like Matsuda, when he had woken up in the morning he no longer had those desire messing with his brain! Matsuda had regained his passion for running as well as his ambition to become a star runner again!

I couldn't help but wonder how Akamine would change—it would certainly be for the better! Without his… desire he would certainly see what he had been doing was wrong! He might even resign—at the very least he'd stop doing things to his employee's right? Maybe even give me a job!

I arrived at June's in high spirits and made my way past the information desk—unfortunately it didn't look like the petite breasted Ruri-chan was working today. It was probably for the best. I felt like my face was going to catch fire at the memories of her fake-self—or maybe the burning sensation was from recognising the lady who had taken her place at the desk from Akamine's 'mansion'.

She smiled at me as I passed—and all I could think of was how sexy it had been when she had made out with one of the other employees.

I didn't so much as flee as I made a tactical retreat to the staff offices.

Akamine's receptionist was sitting behind her desk, as she had been last time. She wore a cream coloured blouse today, and unlike last time when her hair had been done up into a bun, this time it was in a loose ponytail.

"Ah, Hyoudou-kun, you're early," She said, smiling at me politely—though it was a bit more relaxed than last time—and felt a bit more genuine. "Please take a seat. He won't be long."

"Thank you Tamura-san," I said giving her a smile as I did.

I watched her go back to whatever work she had been doing and the faint sound of typing filled the small office space.

"How was your day at school?" she asked, not looking over from the computer screen.

"It was alright," I said after a moment of being surprised at the question. "Nothing special really." I hesitated for a moment. "…how has work been?" I asked, feeling awkward even as the question left my lips.

"It has been pleasantly refreshing, thank you for asking." Her eyes didn't leave the computer in front of her, but I saw her smile brightened a fraction.

The door to the manager's office opened a few seconds later and a female employee stepped out. She looked at the receptionist with a confused smile, as though she wasn't sure what had just happened.

A vaguely familiar bald man wearing a suit stepped out behind her. He saw me and smiled. "Ah, Issei-kun," he said, his voice very familiar.

"A-Akamine-san?" I stammered, my eyes widening. "Y-your hair."

An amused look crossed his features and he lifted a hand up, running it over his head. "Strange, I know," he said. "I've some good news for you, if you'd like to come in?" he asked, before turning to the employee that had stepped out of his office. "Saki-san, I hope you give some thought to what we discussed."

The female employee nodded. "Thank you. I will—of course. It's an honour to be considered for the position."

I stepped inside Akamine's office and after several more words with both the employee and receptionist, the now-bald manager joined me, sitting at his desk—which was surprisingly clean and organized compared to the previous day.

"So!" He clapped his hands together with a smile. "First of all, Issei-kun. I wanted to thank you."

I blinked. "Thank me?" I asked, hesitantly.

Could it be… did he know what had happened in the World of Desire?

Akamine nodded. "Yes, thank you." He let out a sigh. "I told you yesterday that you reminded me a great deal of myself, didn't I?"

He did. I nodded.

"Well, the truth if, after you left I found myself having an epiphany of sorts." He looked at me, his dark eyes filled with… something mercurial that I didn't quite understand. "I can't say I'm proud of many of the decisions I've made in my life," he said, his gaze drawing away toward a picture on one of the walls depicting a large group of people wearing the Junes uniform—the proper one, not the skimpy one I had seen in his demesne. "But—I started to think about the type of legacy I'd like to leave behind. How I want to be remembered. It may seem silly to you, but one day you'll understand."

I had nothing to say to that. I had no idea _what_ to say. Thankfully, it didn't seem like he wanted me to say anything, as he continued to speak.

"I've started to make amends, and I will continue for quite some time until my karma is balanced," he said, his tone becoming somewhat vague. "I have done you a wrong," he admitted. "A minor wrong, but a wrong none the less."

I dared to let myself feel a glimmer of hope.

"Could it be that… you're going to offer me the job after all?"

"Good gracious no!" Akamine let out a laugh. "I'm trying to balance my karma—hiring you to work here would certainly do the opposite of that." He shook his head and smiled at me. "I couldn't, even if I wanted to. The truth is, as of next week I will no longer be the manager of Junes," he told me.

My eyes widened. "You're quitting, then—?" I looked over my shoulder at the door. "The woman who you just talked to?"

"Is the one I've nominated as my replacement," he acknowledged. "But to be clear—I'm not resigning." He hesitated before continuing. "The truth is that I was slated to be promoted a month back and the head office has been pressuring me. To do so would require me to leave Kuoh and for… one reason or another I have been reluctant to do so," he admitted, a guilty look crossing his features. "I'm putting a freeze on hiring new employees until the dust settles from the upcoming transition."

This was… this was bullshit!

I had half a mind to go right back into the Playjunes mansion and slap some more sense into this guy!

"Now, now," Akamine held up a hand and smiled at me. "I know what you're thinking. 'Why did he make me come all the way here if he wasn't going to hire me after all?'"

That was… actually fairly accurate.

Akamine reached up and ran his hand over his bald head. "The truth is—that voucher I gave you is pretty much worthless if it isn't validated. I didn't tell you that at the time and… well. It was a shitty thing to do. I wanted to make amends—considering you well, contributed to—however indirectly my decision to move on with my life."

He stood up from his desk and reached down behind it and picked something up—a large blue and white box with a large picture of a gaming console on the front. "It was a dick move to give you an invalid voucher for something expensive when you came here for a job—so take this as my apology, Issei-kun," he said, offering me an apologetic smile.

I stared at the box, unable to hide the surprise I felt.

This was… not what I expected at all…

"I…"

Akamine stepped around the desk and held the box out to me.

"I know it isn't what you came here for, but it's all I can offer you."

I…gave him an awkward smile. "Thank you Akamine-san," I said to him. "I appreciate it, but you didn't have to."

Akamine shook his head. "No, I didn't have to—but I wanted to." He hesitated for a moment and reached over, setting a hand on my shoulder and looking me in the eyes. "But, as someone who sees himself in you, Issei-kun. I wanted to… give you some advice of sorts, if you're willing to hear it?"

"I guess?" I said, feeling more and more unsure by the second.

He smiled at me.

"Girls are the most beautiful thing in this world," he told me. "I know at times you'll feel tempted—but a man should protect what is precious to him, not harm it. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I stared at him in disbelief and he smiled at me, looking as though he felt himself wise.

This… this bastard! Those were my words—the first half at least! I had said that yesterday to him after kicking Belphegor's ass!

But… he didn't even realize that, did he?

I let out a breath and smiled, despite the fact I wanted to scream at him to stop infringing on my copyrighted dialogue. "I understand," I told him. "Those are… very wise words. I'd love to meet the person who said them first."

Akamine beamed. "They're good words, aren't they? I came up with them myself!

No! No you didn't! You only think you did you gigantic asshole!

He snapped his fingers. "Oh! Here, a gaming console is nothing without games, right?" he asked as he went behind his desk and picked up a small bag and set it down on top of the box I held.

"I'd love to chat more Issei-kun—but things are going to start moving along very quickly," he said, and began to guide me toward the doorway. "I'll be certain to have them keep your resume on file for when we start hiring again."

I found myself unable to form words or even resist as he ushered me out of his office.

My… my words. He had… stolen my words… this… this wasn't fair… I had been really cool when I had said them… but he just… took them…

I vaguely remembered leaving Junes and making my way through the city, holding my unexpected reward.

It… made me feel good in a weird way.

I'd had a gaming console when I was younger—I couldn't count the amount of time that Iri-kun and I spent in front of the television screen playing Zelda and Mario. But as I had gotten older I had gradually lost interest—plus I had other things to prioritize spending my money on—more important things, despite what some may have said.

My bitterness over Akamine having appropriated my words had lessened as I had walked. He had made a commitment to changing his ways—with a little help along from me—and I felt that those words had taken on a deeper meaning for him. If it made him a better person then I was fine with him thinking those special words had come from inside his heart.

It took longer than usual to get home. I took it slow for fear of dropping the box I carried.

Eventually I reached my street, and as I approached my house, I noticed that someone was standing out the front.

This both surprised and confused me.

I was surprised because I hadn't been expecting anyone to come over—Matsuda was busy with his newly re-joined club, and Motohama was busy… ideally not being beaten with shinai by several angry schoolgirls.

I was confused because this someone was wearing the Kuoh Academy's girls uniform.

As I got closer, more and more details became apparent.

The girl looked to be a bit shorter than me. She also had black hair… styled into a short bob cut…

Oh… oh no. Why was she here a day early?! This was… this was bad!

I approached the front of my house and felt the blood draining from my face. By the time that I arrived at the front gate, I felt as though I was at the cusp of entering a dungeon and the final boss was a fire breathing dragon.

As Sona turned around and her violet gaze fell upon me, I wasn't entirely sure that the metaphor was accurate.

Somehow facing down a dragon felt preferable in this instance.

"Good afternoon Hyoudou-san."

"Good afternoon, Kaichou!" I said, forcing a smile onto my face as I realized that I had completely forgotten that part of my 'arrangement' to get onto the student council involved a weekly visit from one of the council members to ensure that everything was going well. It had only been a few days though—and I hadn't been warned at all! What was going on?!

I buried all my panic deep, deep down inside and shifted the box beneath one of my arm. "You haven't been waiting long have you?" I asked, unable to keep my nervousness out of my voice as I slowly walked toward the front door—and by extension, Sona herself.

Sona reached up and adjusted her glasses slightly. "No. I just arrived several minutes ago." Her eyes turned down to the box I held before returning to mine.

"It was a gift," I explained, sensing the unasked question. "I went to a job interview yesterday," I told her, puffing up slightly. "I didn't get the job—but the manager gave me this as a consolation," I told her, skewing the truth slightly.

Sona blinked, once. "Is that so? I have to confess, I am surprised to see that you've taken such a keen interest in improving your work ethic," she said to me.

She didn't sound surprised.

Then again, I didn't think I'd ever seen anything phase the unflappable student president. My friends and I got a sigh from her at most when we were at our worst.

Truly she had the patience of a saint.

I hadn't really had any formal guests before—but I vaguely remembered what I was supposed to do.

"Would you like some tea?" I asked as I stepped up to the door, fishing out my key from my pocket and unlocking the door. I did a bit of shifting around and managed to open the door.

"That would be acceptable."

I lead Sona into my house, and immediately began to feel self-conscious.

I hadn't done the dishes before I had left—What if she wanted to see my room?! I had never had a girl in my room before! My bed was unmade and I had porno mags lying around for… reasons. Thankfully I had been too busy the past few nights to really do anything that would raise eyebrows from the stoic student president.

I set my new game console and my school bag down in the hallway and offered Sona a smile. "The lounge room is over here," I said to her and gestured as I walked into it. "It isn't much, but please make yourself at home."

"Thank you, Hyoudou-san," Sona said politely as she stepped over to one of the lounge seats and sat down. She began to slowly look around, her eyes roaming around the simple room, her gaze lingered on some photos above the mantle very briefly before returning to me. "You have a lovely home."

"T-thanks," I said, awkwardly looking away, before remembering. "Right! Tea. I'll be right back!" I told her before quickly evacuating to the safety of the kitchen.

I let out a sigh of relief as I escaped from the line of sight with my stoic faced senpai.

Sona was super cute but she was really intense even without meaning to be! It was no wonder that so many guys and girls looked up to her, despite the fact that she was on a bit short.

I filled the kettle up and put it on the stove, before heading over to the cupboard and doing an in-depth search for some sort of tea leaves.

"Aha!" I found some—at least I thought they were tea leaves. I pried off the lid of the container and sniffed. They smelt right! I couldn't claim to have ever made tea before. It couldn't be hard though, right?

Just dump the leaves in a cup, pour over hot water and presto!

Somehow I felt that was being overly optimistic.

I had watched the maid in the Velvet room prepare my tea—which had been delicious. She had taken several minutes to do so, and there had been a lot of steps! To my surprise, I found that I could clearly recall each and every step she had gone through in her preparation of the tea—and they said staring at girls was unproductive!

I busied myself attempting to follow my beautiful silver haired maid's actions as perfectly as I could! I wasn't as poised or as elegant as she was—but I did everything I could!

I boiled the water—but didn't let it boil too long!

I carefully poured it over several teaspoons of tea leaf that I had placed in a pot, before waiting—the maid had waited. I didn't know why. I could guess that it had something to do with letting the leaves absorb the water or vice versa! While I waited I poured the remainder into one of two cups that I had retrieved from the cupboard, before dumping the water out.

I crinkled my nose. The Maid had used some sort of paper before pouring the tea to filter it—but I hadn't found anything like that. In the end I used a mesh strainer as I poured the tea into the cups.

It looked… okay.

The colour wasn't the same—nor was the smell but it tasted alright. Nothing compared to what I had been served but then I wasn't a maid.

I placed the tea cups onto a serving tray along with a smaller pitcher of milk and a tiny pot of sugar.

I made my way back to the lounge room, walking slowly and carefully as I did.

Sona was in the same place as she had been when I had left, her hands folded daintily across her lap, atop of her smoothed out skirt.

I set the tray down on the fable in front of her. "Do you take it with milk or sugar?" I asked, glancing over to her.

"No thank you," Sona said politely.

I passed her one of the teacups and saucer and took one for myself, before sitting down on another of the chairs.

Sona brought the tea up to her lips and gently blew on it, before taking a sip.

I watched, unintentionally holding my breath as I awaited the verdict. I have expected her to spit it out.

To my surprise however, nothing of the sort happened.

Sona's natural, perfectly shaped eyebrows rose a fraction of an inch and she set the tea back down on the saucer. "The tea is nice."

If anyone else had said those words, I'd have taken them as they were. But from Sona, it may as well have been a standing ovation!

I beamed at her and took a sip of my own tea.

I immediately regretted it.

Not because it tasted bad! It didn't! Or at least I think it didn't. My main issue stemmed from the fact that I hadn't waited for it to cool down—nor had I blown on it. I was treated to the pleasant experience of several hundred of my tastebuds vaporizing.

I held in a whimper and set the tea down. "S-so," I manage to say, even as my tongue revolted in my mouth. "Maybe I am mistaken, but weren't you supposed to come over tomorrow, Sona-senpai?" I asked, giving her a smile despite the agony I had inflicted upon myself.

"That was the original plan," Sona said with a small nod. "However, due to some unforeseen circumstances I and the rest of the student council will be unavailable. I thought it would be prudent to conduct the initial review today."

"And it goes without saying that a surprise visit a day early would mean I wouldn't have time to hide anything bad, right?"

A ghost of a smile crossed Sona's lips. "I didn't say that, did I?" She asked, tilting her head ever so slightly to the side.

No, no she hadn't. I doubted she would either, she didn't seem the type to self-incriminate. She was far too smart for something like that.

Sona set down her saucer on the table and picked up a clipboard from beside her.

A clipboard I was certain she hadn't been carrying when I saw her at the front door.

"Is something the matter?" Sona asked as she drew a pen off the top of the clipboard and clicked it.

"Did you always have that with you?" I couldn't help but ask. There was no way she could have hidden that anywhere considering she was wearing the school uniform and didn't seem to have her bag with her.

My visual acuity increased sevenfold when I looked upon girls. She had definitely not been hiding it anywhere! I would have noticed such an unpleasant shape disturbing the way her uniform fit her!

"Yes." Sona responded, her tone leaving no room for question. "Now," she said, her eyes drawing down to her clipboard.

I tried to peak over the top and she gave me a look that stopped me in my tracks.

"Now," she repeated. "I have no interest in disrupting your family's privacy, but as the school has your parents' consent, I will have you walk me through the house and I will make note of anything that out of the ordinary. Is this satisfactory?"

It wasn't.

"Can I have five minutes to tidy up my room?"

To my surprise Sona considered my request. "I will allow you thirty seconds."

"That's way too short!" I protested and folded my arms across my chest. "Four minutes!"

Sona adjusted her glasses. "Twenty seconds."

I slammed my hands against my knees. "W-what?! That's not how you're supposed to negotiate," I protested, "You're supposed to keep going up and I keep going down and we meet in the middle!"

Sona regarded me through her pink rimmed glasses. "It is how I negotiate."

I hadn't realized how dangerous this girl was. Behind her stoic expression and super smart personality she was a total devil! "Thirty seconds is fine," I conceded reluctantly.

"Ten seconds."

I stared at her, unable to keep the disbelief off my face. "T-that's a joke, r-right?" There was no way I could fix up everything in thirty seconds! That was barely enough time to hide all my porno mags properly!

Sona regarded me for a long moment, before nodding.

I let out a sigh of relief.

Maybe she wasn't a devil after all.

"You're surprisingly playful, aren't you Sona-senpai?" I asked, smiling at her despite myself.

She looked at me and I almost blanched.

Sona set her clipboard down and picked up the tea I had served her. "You have until I finish the tea," she told me, pausing for a brief moment. "I should warn you that I am quite parched."

I didn't so much flee from the lounge room as I made a rapid tactical withdrawal. I practically broke down my door in my fervour to get into my room and immediately began to grab all the questionable material that I had lying around and shoved it into my closet.

I did a rushed job tucking my sheets in and smoothing out the creases. As I ran my hands over the sheets, I felt something odd beneath them.

I pulled the sheets back and blinked as I found a familiar plastic sword tucked to one side of the sheets—as well as a bronze nameplate that read 'Akamine Souji'. I had no time to think about the implications as I heard the faint sound of Sona beginning to walk up the stairs.

I grabbed the shitty plastic sword and the Shard and moved over to my drawers, shoving both of them inside the underwear draw and shutting it quickly.

I spun around, looking over every inch of my room for something incriminating. Everything looked fine! The bed was tidy, no signs of porno mags! My room looked good! Practically normal even!

I let out a sigh of relief and turned toward the door, only to freeze as my eyes landed on my limited edition signed poster of Kaben Rider Pinky's actress.

"I'm coming in, Hyoudou-san," Sona spoke from the other side of my door.

Time slowed down as I found myself torn.

There wasn't enough time to carefully remove it from the wall. If I wanted to remove and hide it, it would be quick and dirty and the chances of damaging my priceless relic was beyond high. On the other hand… if I didn't hide it what would Sona-senpai think? Would it be a black mark on my new record from day one?

I found myself staring deep into the bright eyes of my favourite AV star. It was… really a beautiful poster. She—the actress was wearing a tasteful piece of dark purple lingerie and was reclining on her side, her beautiful eyes wide and staring at the camera as her legs curled ever so slightly. It was a remarkable instance of less being significantly more.

I…

I couldn't do it!

I took a deep breath and turned toward the door, ready to face the ridicule I knew to be inevitable.

The handle turned and Sona entered.

Her violet eyes swept over the room in one smooth motion, going from my closet to my bed, to my computer desk, to my drawers and finally coming to rest on my beloved poster.

I braced myself for the inevitable.

"Acceptable," Sona said, lifting the clipboard up and writing something down.

I blinked.

That… that was it?

My surprise definitely showed on my face.

"Were you expecting me to make a large deal about your choice of decorations?" Sona asked, one of her perfectly manicured eyebrows raising up. "I am aware that you are a teenage boy, Hyoudou-san. It is to be expected."

She turned as if to leave, before she stopped and her brow furrowed. "What is that?" She asked.

"Huh?"

She turned back and walked over toward my computer and reached down picking up a memory stick.

My eyes widened. "A-ah! That's nothing important. Just some photos from my friend Matsuda," I said, giving a nervous laugh and moving forward, reaching out to take it from her.

She turned away and kept the memory stick—the Shard of Desire out of my reach. "Is that true, Hyoudou-san?" She asked as she turned back toward me.

I nodded rapidly.

"Suspicious," Sona said, her eye narrowing. "Very suspicious. Could it be this contains… illicit material, Hyoudou-san?" She asked, her tone serious as she turned toward me. "I am sorry but I will be confiscating this."

"What?! Why! You have no proof!" I protested.

"Which is why after I personally examine the contents I will return it to you if my suspicions are unfounded, along with an apology."

My mind raced.

"Wait!" I said, "Here, we can check it right now," I pointed out, gesturing to my computer. "That'd be fine right?"

Sona hesitated. "That is true," she said, sounding oddly reluctant.

I moved over toward my computer and booted it up, ignoring my wince as a questionable load screen came up, which was followed by a questionable, but undeniably hot wallpaper. "After you, Sona-senpai," I said, gesturing toward one of the all-in-one memory ports on the tower bay.

Sona frowned, but none the less stepped forward and slotted the memory stick into the computer.

After several seconds a prompt came up asking if I'd like to open the external device.

I clicked yes and I crossed my fingers and prayed to all that was holy in the world that Matsuda's shadow hadn't put naked pictures of a certain snow haired first year—or a pink haired kendo girl—or an older red headed babe—or really any number of things thatohGodwhathaveIdonehetotallyhasallthoseandmorei'msodeadfuckfuckfuck.

The computer made a faint sound as it loaded the files and after several seconds the folder opened, revealing a dozen photos.

I let out a sigh of relief as I saw pictures of Matsuda, Motohama and I hanging out appear—along with one or two familiar but non-incriminating pictures of high quality of other students.

"See? Nothing bad at all," I said to Sona with a smile.

Sona frowned ever so slightly.

Was it just me or did she look disappointed that it hadn't contained pictures of naked girls?

"I see. Very well. I apologise for doubting you Hyoudou-san," she said, straightening up. "Perhaps we should move onto other rooms?" she suggested. "It is getting late after all."

"Sounds good!" I said brightly and followed her out of my room—shutting the door behind me and going into tour mode as I showed her the rest of the house—bar my parents' bedroom.

We found ourselves by the front door half an hour later with Sona more or less satisfied with the current state of the house. "There are several things that require cleaning up—or doing, such as the dishes or the laundry," she told me. "If you are diligent and clean up a small bit each day you'll find it easier than leaving everything to do at once."

I nodded with a smile, relieved for the inspection to be finally over. It hadn't been as nerve-racking as having her in my room—or the near panic attack I had had when she had picked up Matsuda's Shard—but I had still been on edge, worried that I had forgotten something that would get me a strike. "Are you going to come over again next week, Sona-senpai?" I asked as I opened the door for her.

"I will," Sona said, nodding as she stepped out through the front door, her clipboard held in one hand with the several dozen notes she had written down. "Next time will not be a surprise visit," she told me. "I will inform you at school of my intention to inspect your current living conditions."

The black haired girl turned toward me. "If you find yourself having any difficulties to living by yourself, do not hesitate to contact either the school administration." She considered. "Or if you prefer, I would be happy to assist you personally, Hyoudou-san, as long as you continue to impress me with your commitment to becoming a better student."

"I'd like that Sona-senpai," I told her brightly.

Sona gave a small smile and nodded, before she turned and left.

I watched her leave, shutting the gate behind her and walking down the street and soon out of sight.

"Ahahahaha!" I began to laugh, unable to help myself.

It had gone well!

I did a fist pump into the air. "Wait till I tell Matsuda and Motohama that I had Sona-senpai in my room!" I cackled, "They're going to be so jealous!"

I moved to close the door, only to freeze as I noticed that it was beginning to get dark outside.

Long shadows were being cast by the setting sun, and suddenly my good mood died.

I hurriedly shut the door.

I… I hadn't been home during sunset since my first visit to the Velvet Room. Each time I'd been pulled into the World of Desire and had to fight my way out one way or another.

What would… what would happen if I was in my own house when the sun set? Would… I find myself in my own Demesne? What would it be like? Would I… meet my own Shadow? The thought both terrified me and excited me.

What if… what if my Shadow had its own harem?!

" _As much as I wished that were the case, it is unfortunately not,_ " Faunus said, its words murmuring through my mind.

I blinked several times in rapid succession. "Oh, hey," I said awkwardly. "I haven't heard from you all day." I'd totally forgotten about my Persona's presence.

At first I was confused as to the meaning of its words, before I remembered what the silver haired Maid had told me.

Personas and Shadows were the same thing.

So that meant… Faunus was Shadow Issei?

" _It is a little more complicated than that, but that is essentially correct,_ " it told me, its tone somewhat reluctant.

A palpable tension suddenly filled the air—and suddenly the house plunged into darkness.

I heard a violent crackle and a sizzling sound coming from upstairs—coming from my room. My feet began to move before I realized it—panic at the idea of my computer having suffered damage at the sudden blackout. I reached the top of the stairs and saw flickering light flittering through the space around my closed door and my panic turned into trepidation.

" _Issei…_ "

"I know. I feel it as well," I said, swallowing as the lightshow that was passing around my shut door became more vivid—both brighter and also somehow more violent.

The tension that had formed in the air was almost suffocating.

Something was happening in my room—something that I knew I didn't want to happen and it had to do with the Shard of Desire I had plugged into my computer. It was something that I instinctively knew I had to stop before… before it happened.

I bit down on my desire to flee from the danger and stepped forward, gripping my door handle and flinging my door open.

The computer tower was sparking violently with arcs of technicolour lightning erupting from it. The monitor attached to it was faring little better. A blue screen of death covered it intermittently with other shapes and colours flashing through it in error as it glitched out.

I didn't want to get near it—but the power point was below the desk. It was the only way to shut it off.

I got down onto my hands and knees and quickly crawled forward and under the desk, wincing as the hissing crackles became deafening.

I reached over to the power and yanked the cord.

The sounds of my computer imploding stopped—though my ears rung with a painful reminder of the deafening sounds it had made.

The tension was gone as well.

Whatever had been happening had been averted—if only just.

I sighed and shuffled backwards, before sitting up.

I stiffened.

The computer screen was blindingly white.

Which was terrifying, considering I had pulled the power.

The screen flickered and went dark.

I let out a sigh of relief.

I blinked as a bolt of blinding light erupted from the monitor and pierced through the middle of my chest.

I stared down, my eyes wide and uncomprehending.

My insides began to burn and the edges of my vision began to blur.

I felt something inside me break, and then, darkness.

—~—


	6. Prologue: Chapter Six

— **~—**

I didn't so much wake up as I became aware that I wasn't dead.

The next thing I was aware of was that I was lying down on my back on the cold wooden floor of my room, and the room itself was dark, the only light coming from between the window shutters. I found myself staring up at my ceiling and slowly blinking.

Why was I laying down in the middle of my room?

The last thing I remembered was…

I jerked up and my hands grasped at my chest in a panic. I clawed at my shirt—only to find a massive clean hole in the middle of my lucky shirt. The fact that I could see my chest—whole and unblemished and lacking the gaping wound that I had expected to be there was confusing—not that it stopped me from gasping as my breath came in ragged bursts from the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

It was in that state of heightened awareness that I noticed something.

Two small luminous slitted silver eyes stared at me from my desk. They were supernaturally bright in the dark and it was impossible not to take notice.

I found myself frozen in place, unable to see anything beyond the eyes.

There were things in the dark.

They were out to get me.

I knew this to be true.

After what I'd been through the past few days, I knew instinctively that I should have been scared at the appearance of something new and unknown in my room that I couldn't claim to know and yet…

"Hello?" I said after a long moment.

"Hello." A lilting voice responded, soft, faint and feminine.

I blinked and hesitated. "Are you a friend?"

"Are you a friend."

I blinked again, my brow furrowed. "Why are you here?"

"Why are you here?" My mysterious guest repeated my words again, her voice lacking inflection.

"Why are you copying me?!" I couldn't help but demand to know.

"Why are you copying me?!" This time her words came back a bit more heated.

"I'm not, you are!"

"I'm not, you are!"

I pushed myself up onto my feet, and as I stood up I found myself looking down at the two small eyes that seemed to hover in thin air just above the top of my desk.

I began to move slowly toward the door and hit the light switch.

Light flooded the room and my mysterious guest was revealed.

"Pixie?"

…no, not Pixie.

A small girl sat upon the edge of my desk. She was slightly smaller than Pixie but as far as resemblances went, that was it. She had silvery feline eyes and a slender face framed by a shaggy mane of blonde hair. She was covered by a glimmering white cloak that wrapped around her body tightly, from which two slim legs peaked out from.

"Pixie," the strange tiny girl repeated my words again. An intense look of concentration crossed her face. "Not Pixie," she said slowly, as if choosing her words very carefully.

"Who are you?" I asked warily, keeping my distance from the admittedly cute little creature.

Another intense look of concentration crossed its features. "I'm not Pixie. I friend… are you friend?"

I didn't reply straight away. This was… strange. Her entire way of talking was weird. She was like a tourist from one of the western countries trying to speak Japanese for the first time.

She looked at me, her large eyes expectant as she waited for my answer.

"I'm friendly," I said after a moment.

She smiled. "I'm friendly!"

"Promise?" I asked, smiling despite myself.

She nodded quickly and a tiny hand slipped out from beneath her cloak and she stood up on my desk. She really was tiny. She could have easily sat on my palm with just her legs dangling off the side.

It was hard to stay vigilant against such a cute little thing. "I'm Issei," I introduced myself to her and moved closer to her.

Her tiny face screwed up in concentration before a look of frustration appeared. "I'm… not Pixie," she said unhappily and turned, lightly kicking my keyboard with her bare foot.

I blinked.

Wait could she…

"Can you only say words I say?" I asked.

She bobbed her head up and down quickly, her blonde hair fluttering from the rapid movement.

That was… weird. That was weird, right?

I stepped over to my bed and sat down on the edge. "Where did you come from?" I couldn't help but ask.

I was pretty sure she hadn't been here before… before that happened.

"Where did… I? Come from?" She repeated my question. "I come from…" her nose crinkled briefly before a flash of inspiration seemed to hit her. She slipped a hand out from beneath her cloak and tapped her chest.

My brow knitted. "You come from your chest?"

She shook her head.

"From… the heart?"

She nodded rapidly.

My hand absently drew up to my own.

Now that I wasn't panicking, I realized that I felt… different. Not bad, just odd. It was a strange feeling. It was reminiscent of that feeling you get when you are on the cusp of remembering something but it was just out of reach. I felt… like I was missing something.

I turned my attention inward and began to feel around for Faunus.

I felt its awareness inside my heart. It was not pleased.

"Faunus what's wrong?" I asked, frowning as I looked down at my chest.

There was a long stretch of silence, before Faunus finally spoke. "[i] _Can you not feel it?[/i]_ "

I felt something, that was for sure, but exactly what it was I couldn't say—that was the problem.

I searched deeper, and as I did I found a… it wasn't so much a wound as it was a void. A void that had been previously been occupied.

I looked at the tiny blonde that stood on my desk. "You came from my heart?"

She smiled and nodded.

"But you're not Pixie. Are you a Persona?"

She shook her head. "Not Pixie. Not Persona."

She wasn't Pixie and she wasn't a Persona, so what was she?

Asking her that would be pointless if she could only speak in words she had heard—a feat I found surprising. How did she know how to use the words if she hadn't known them before?

I had questions and my inability to get answers lead to even more questions.

The only way I was going to get answers was if I increased the amount of words she knew—her vocabulary.

The blonde Pixie-but-not-Pixie looked at me expectantly.

She was intelligent, that much was clear. She'd been able to understand what I said to her and had gone from repeating the words I had said to her, to rearranging them and forming other meaningful sentences as short as they had been. I didn't quite understand how that worked, but I didn't have to when I had clear proof that it did.

"Alright!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands on my knees and standing up. "I have a plan! Just bear with me, alright?" I said, giving her a smile as I stepped closer and then knelt down, reaching beneath my desk and removing a flimsy false panel revealing a brilliant rainbow of carefully arranged books, neatly stacked magazines and skilfully balanced DVD's.

I ran a finger fondly over the spines of several light novels before I carefully drew one out. "Here we go!" I said happily as I admired the cover of this particular volume. Two beauties looked back at me—their clothes torn and burned and half destroyed. They stood on the cover, back to back, one with a gun and the other with a wicked looking sword.

"This is Duo Dragoon: Yuri Yuri Explosion," I explained as I pulled over my chair and sat down. "It is the pinnacle of literature in this world," I told her. "No matter what others may say."

"Yuri?"

I beamed and nodded. "It is! Yuri is amazing isn't it?"

The small silver eyed girl's eyes widened and she beamed at me. "Yuri!" She exclaimed eagerly, and pointed toward herself. "I'm Yuri!"

My eyes widened. "Your name is Yuri?" I asked, surprised—and slightly excited.

Her nose crinkled and she did this swaying 'sorta sorta' motion with her head.

"Your name sounds like Yuri?"

She smiled and nodded.

"Can I just call you Yuri for now until you can say your real name?"

She nodded some more.

"Awesome! Nice to meet you Yuri!" I told her brightly and held up the light novel I had taken from my hiding spot. "Would you like me to read you one of the best stories ever told?" I asked her.

She beamed at me and nodded once more, before hesitating and then holding her arms out to me.

I blinked. "You want me to… pick you up?"

She nodded.

I realized at that moment that the reason she was nodding so much was because I hadn't given her a verbal way.

"Yes is you agree with something, No if you don't agree," I told her.

Her silvery eyes sparkled. "Yes!" She said happily, all but bouncing on the balls of her feet.

I laughed and held out a hand to her.

She stepped off the desk onto my hand—which was an odd sensation. She swayed slightly as she balanced and then she continued to walk up my arm, spreading her arms out from beneath her cloak to steady herself.

She hopped down onto my legs and then sat down, running her hands down her feathery white cloak. She tilted her head back and looked up at me, giving me a big smile.

She…

She was…

She was adorable!

I barely resisted my ability to let out an unmanly sound of excitement over such a cute little girl sitting in my lap—which still counted—despite the fact she was super small!

I opened my beloved light novel to the first page before clearing my voice and beginning to read, telling the adorable little Yuri of the grand adventure of the unfortunately named Aika and her girlfriend Mari who was both her secret girlfriend **and** her long lost twin!

I managed to get through several dozen pages before fatigue began to set in and my voice began to tire.

I grimaced and stopped reading, taking a moment to massage my throat.

This… wasn't working.

A tiny hang tugged on my shirt. "I want more!" Yuri told me earnestly. "Please?"

"Sorry Yuri-chan," I said and brought my hand up to my mouth, covering a yawn. "I'm getting a bit tired."

Yuri puffed her cheeks out. "But I want more!"

I found myself taking critical-cute-damage but somehow managed to resist giving in.

A spark of inspiration struck me.

I snapped my fingers. "How about I put on the television?" I suggested.

Yuri looked at me in confusion. "Television?"

"It's a… box that has moving pictures and people talking," I tried to explain. "It's easier to just show you," I admitted and set the light novel aside, before offering her my hand.

She hopped onto it and I stood up.

She lifted a hand and pointed toward my head. "Up."

I humoured her and lifted her up.

She jumped off my palm and landed on my head. I felt her tiny hands punch up some of my hair and her very slight weight settle onto the top of my head.

I… I was okay with this.

I grabbed my pillow from my bed and made my way down stairs, turning on the house lights as I went.

We arrived in the lounge room and I felt a pinch as she tugged on my hair. "Oooh! Television!" Yuri said eagerly, and I saw a tiny hand point toward a family portrait.

"That's a picture," I told her and pointed toward the actual television.

"But… I don't see people," Yuri said unsurely.

"I have to turn it on," I told her, before doing so. The television flickered to life and the sound of the news filled the room.

Yuri made a sound of surprise and fascination. "I see! Television!" she said brightly.

I stepped back and sat down on one of the lounges, dropping my pillow on one end.

Yuri jumped off from the top of my head and landed on the cushion beside me, plopping down onto her butt as I had and staring intently at the television.

"Here," I said, and set the remote beside her. I pointed toward the channel change buttons. "Press these to change the channel," I explained to her.

Yuri blinked before reaching over and pushing down on one of the buttons.

She startled as the television changed and the news anchors were replaced by some sort of game show—the contestant of which was in the middle of having to bob for apples in a tank filled with electric eels.

And like that Yuri was enraptured, as had every generation had been since the advent of the television.

Her silver eyes went wide and she drank it all in—the words that the people on the television said, the scenes they were in and—

"Ahahahahaha!"

—also the awkward scripted laughter.

I leaned back, resting my head against the pillow I had brought down, discreetly keeping an eye on the tiny figure as she busied herself with changing the channels again and again.

I brought a hand up and muffled another yawn before letting my eyes close for a few moments. Opening them again was a challenge, one which after several attempts I eventually failed at.

Several hours later, after a pleasant peaceful rest, I found myself being woken by strange and yet vividly familiar screaming. I muffled a yawn and blearily sat up, rubbing my eyes. Sunlight streamed into the lounge room through the curtains and blinds, bright and warm—almost too much so.

I found my eyes being drawn to the television and I watched as a nostalgic scene played out on it. A dark haired human-looking man surrounded by an aura of blazing energy was screaming incoherently in a mixture of grief and rage at the death of his friend.

I looked down beside me and found Yuri sitting in the same spot as she had been when I had fallen asleep. Her eyes were wide and her silvery gaze was transfixed onto the television screen.

I smiled. "This is one of my favourite scenes in the entire show," I told her. "He's badass isn't he?"

Yuri didn't respond—or even blink.

I frowned and reached down, waving a hand in front of her.

Tiny hands slapped at my hand and the small girl made a sound of frustration. "Go away!" she demanded. "I'm watching!" She forced her small hands between my fingers and pried them apart so she could keep watching the climactic battle on the screen.

I jerked my hand back as I saw her open her mouth and attempt to bite me.

I scowled down at the diminutive girl. I would have said something, but honestly, I couldn't blame her. It _was_ an awesome scene, and she wasn't the first—and she wouldn't be the last—to be absorbed by the television screen.

I stood up and stretched. "Hnnggg, good sleep!" I groaned as began to walk over toward the kitchen. I could already hear my stomach grumbling at me.

I surveyed the kitchen and saw a modest pile of dishes in the sink. I briefly considered washing them before pulling a fresh bowl out of the cupboard and filling it with cereal.

I dropped down into my seat and began to eat.

I managed several mouthfuls before my gaze found itself passing over the digital clock.

I blinked slowly and my brow furrowed.

Four zeros blinked steadily.

That was odd. The weird blackout from my computer going crazy must have messed with all the electronics in the house—even the battery operated ones.

I wondered what the actual… time…. was?

I didn't so much move as much as I teleported from the kitchen into the lounge room.

I snatched up the remote from beside Yuri and rapidly changed the channel until I landed on a news show and checked the actual time.

"Hey I was watching that Issei!" Yuri whined at me loudly—though her protests went unheard.

I was already half way up the stairs by the time her words reached me and halfway out of my dirty clothes. I kicked off my pants just as I reached my room and dived into my wardrobe, pulling out a fresh shirt and uniform.

I stumbled into the bathroom and grabbed a can of deodorant and held my breath as I doused myself in it.

I made the mistake of breathing while still inside the thick cloud of antiperspirant and gagged.

I rushed out, coughing and tripping over my discarded clothes as I buttoned up my shirt. I felt a twinge in my heart as I saw my lucky red shirt on the ground—a hole burnt right through the chest of it—but had no time to waste.

I pulled on my shoes and grabbed my bag on the way out of the front door. "Sorry, I'll be back later Yuri!" I shouted back at the lounge room as I broke out into a flat out run.

I ran, and I didn't stop running even as my lungs began to burn and my legs felt like they were going to fall off. I reached the front gate of the academy only to find the main gate closed. I groaned and began to head further along to the Office entrance.

Half an hour later I found myself still sitting outside the school office. I had received a thorough dressing-down by the staff that would have traumatized a lesser man and was told to wait until the lunch bell rang.

The lunch bell had rung and after several more minutes the reason I had to wait arrived.

"Kaichou will be very disappointed to see that you have slipped into delinquency so fast." Tsubaki, the Vice President of the Student Council told me as she stood several feet away. Her hands were folded atop each other at waist level.

I winced. "Shinra-senpai, like I told the office lady there was a blackout last night and my alarm clock didn't wake me up. As soon as I woke up I ran right here!" I insisted as I did my best to keep my eyes focused on the girl in front of me, despite how intimidating she was as she looked down at me through her blue-rimmed glasses.

I felt myself wilting under her stern gaze, but did my best to maintain it to show how honest I was being.

"Very well. I will accept your excuse this once, Hyoudou-san. Please consider investing in a battery operated alarm clock in the future."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you Shinra-senpai. I promise it won't happen again!"

Tsubaki gave me a very brief nod. "See that it does not. It would look poorly on Kaicho if one of her choices for joining the student council were to make a habit of being late for school," she said before she turned and left.

I took that to mean I was finally free.

I stood up and stretched with a groan—only for my stomach to give an unholy rumble to remind me that I hadn't eaten breakfast or dinner—and I hadn't had time to pack lunch! Unless I could convince one of my friends to help out with a timely donation to the 'Stop Issei's Stomach from Eating itself' fund, I would have to either endure or fork out the cash—of which I had a limited supply.

I made my way to my class room, admiring several of my fellow students along the way and doing my best to distract myself from uncomfortable sensation of my stomach fighting over the mouthful or two of cereal I had managed to get in

I entered the classroom to find both Motohama and Matsuda absent. They must have already left for lunch.

I stood there, staring blankly at the empty desks—and lamenting my soon to be empty wallet.

I turned to leave, only to notice someone watching me.

My favourite strawberry blonde was sitting at her desk with a half-eaten bento. "You're late Hyoudou," Katase told me plainly.

"My alarm clock didn't go off," I said as I approached her.

At least I assumed it hadn't. If I was being honest then it was entirely possible that I wouldn't have heard it even if it had gone off considering I'd fallen asleep in the lounge room.

I blinked. Wait, why was she talking to me? The only thing I could think of was… my request to learn kendo from her! "Wait—have you decided?" I asked, my tone eager as I stepped closer.

The strawberry blonde grimaced and looked away.

"Oh." I hesitated a moment. "Is there any way I can change your mind?"

Katase sighed and set down her chopsticks on top of her bento box. "It's not personal or anything, okay? Even though it should be." She muttered under her breath, before shaking her head. "It's just that if I take time to help you learn kendo, then I'm taking time away from practicing and spending time in the club," she explained. "If I spend less time with the club they'll want to know why, and I can't exactly expect them to be happy about it considering…"

I sighed.

This was the worst.

All I wanted to do was learn how to become a badass swordsman and kick some ass. Was that so much to ask?

"Look. For some stupid reason I get the feeling that you're being genuine about not being so…" Katase gestured at me as if to say 'you'. "I can't help you personally, but I've left something for you behind the gym building alright? It isn't much but it'll get you started."

I found myself surprised and a little touched. "Really? That's—thank you!" I said giving her a bright smile. I'd have hugged her if I wasn't almost entirely certain that she would scream, knee me in the balls and claim sexual harassment!

Katase gave me a brief smile and picked her chopsticks up to continue eating. "Don't mention it," she said, before pausing. "Really. Don't. if anyone asks, you stole them from me, alright?"

I pouted. "I'm not that bad!" I insisted.

Katase was having none of it and shooed me away with her chopsticks.

"I'm not," I repeated stubbornly, before I left and began my search for something to eat.

In the end I gave up and headed toward one of the vending machines on the school grounds. I returned to the classroom soon after, with my stomach full and my wallet empty.

The bell rang soon after and the other students began to file back into the classroom.

I gave Matsuda and Motohama a glowering look as they entered the classroom. "Where were you two? I almost starved to death!"

"Oh. Hey you made it Issei," Motohama said, surprised. "Thought you were sick or something." He leaned in as he got closer and whispered. "I have something amazing planned for today!" he told me with a waggle of his eyebrows. "You're gonna love it!"

A mixture of both excitement and dread began to rise within me. "What did you do?" I asked.

Motohama laughed and dropped into his seat. "That'd be telling! Don't worry I'll make sure you have a front seat!"

I found myself torn.

On one hand, the last time Motohama 'planned' something he rigged the schools sprinklers to go off in the gym during a volleyball tournament.

The girls of course had been wearing their gym uniforms which consisted of white shirts and bloomers. The result had been… beautiful.

The memory still brought a tear to my eye.

But that was the old Issei!

I was turning over a new leaf—but I suppose if he didn't want to tell me, then I couldn't really stop him. I'd just have to deal with whatever happened!

I nodded to myself.

That was the story I would be sticking to if I found myself being interrogated.

"Alright, everyone to your seats." The teacher said as he arrived.

The teacher dropped a thick textbook onto his desk and waited for everyone to sit down before he began the lesson.

It didn't take long at all before I began to tune his voice out. He had begun to drone on about some boring subject that I could care less about.

I sighed.

I just couldn't bring myself to pay attention to him.

My gaze soon began to drift from the front of the class room and before too long I found myself leaning on my hand and staring out into the distance. The sky was bright blue and there wasn't a cloud in sight—my classroom was on the second floor so the view was pretty spectacular come autumn, but for now it was just pleasant.

I found myself just staring into the distance, zoning out, with my mind a million miles away.

It was super hard to focus on old people droning on about boring things when just hours before I had been struck in the chest by a bolt of light and almost died.

That wasn't to mention everything else that had happened before that!

At first I was so caught up in my thoughts that I thought that I heard a faint tapping sound from nearby.

I discreetly glanced around and saw that everyone nearby was paying attention to the teacher—or at least they weren't looking in my direction—or holding a pencil or anything.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I blinked.

That time I definitely heard it.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I frowned and looked toward the window beside me.

My eyes widened.

Yuri waved.

The school windows were western in design, tall and crisscrossed with wooden supports. The tiny white-cloaked blonde girl stood upon the ledge just on the other side of the window.

I was shocked for several reasons.

The first was that she had somehow managed to find me when my house was over half an hour away for me normally. With her tiny legs it would have taken her the better part of a day even if she had been running!

The second was that she had managed to drag herself away from the television—the anime she had been watching must have ended.

The third, and most important reason was because my classroom was not on the first floor.

It was on the second floor, which meant that she had somehow managed to scale the side of the building to get onto the windowsill.

Yuri smiled brightly at me and her lips began to move, but I couldn't hear a thing she was saying through the thick glass. She didn't seem to realize, and continued to talk animatedly and brought her hand up to her head, running her fingers through her shaggy blonde hair.

Yuri's white cloak whipped around her suddenly and she grimaced as a sudden gust of wind rocked her tiny body.

One of her feet slipped out from beneath her.

I inhaled sharply and stood up in a panic.

My chair clattered backwards and every eye in the classroom turned toward me.

"Is something wrong, Hyoudou?" The teacher asked, his voice calm and collected despite my abrupt interruption.

"N-no." I gave a nervous laugh and glanced back toward the window.

Yuri was nowhere to be seen.

Panic began to rise up inside of me and I began to fear the worst—that she had fallen down.

"Sorry, I uh, thought a bird was going to hit the glass," I lied through my teeth. "I panicked you know? C-Can I use the bathroom?"

The teacher gave a disapproving frown. "Lunch just ended, if you needed to go then you should have gone before the bell rang."

"It's urgent!" I insisted. "I promise I won't be long!"

The teacher sighed and waved his free hand toward the door. "Go. Just be quick about it, I have a quiz planned."

Half of the class gave a collective groan.

I held my groan in and nodded quickly. "Got it! I'll be back in a flash!" I told him, flashing him a thumbs up as I quickly made my way across the classroom and stepped out into the corridor.

The moment the door shut behind me I broke out into a sprint toward the nearest stairwell and jumped down, skipping the first ten or so stairs. I stumbled slightly on the landing, but continued to quickly down to the first floor.

I ran past a pair of senior girls—both with amazing breasts, features and everything else a guy could want— who gave me a startled look as I barrelled by them. "S-sorry emergency!" I shouted back, getting a look of surprised from the redhead one.

I barged through the doors of the main building and made my way around to the side of the building that my class room overlooked. "Yuri!" I called out. "Where are you?!" I began to desperately search through the bushes for a sign of her white cloak.

There was…

There was no sign of her.

She must have been blown away by the wind or something.

Maybe her cloak acted like a sail and she drifted all the way to Tokyo?

"What are you looking for? A small, curious voice asked from a few inches to my right.

I blinked slowly and turned my head.

There, sitting on the edge of a first floor window Yuri sat, leaning forward with her chin propped up on her palms. Her slitted silver eyes watched me with blatant curiosity.

I let out a sigh of relief. "I was looking for you," I said, "I was worried."

Yuri tilted her head to the side. "Why?"

"Because one second you were there and the next you weren't. I thought you fell and I panicked." I grumbled and stood up, dusting off the grass and dirt off my knees. "How did you get back down here—hell, how did you even get here?" I demanded to know.

Yuri gave me a funny look. "I flew of course, silly!" She said with a laugh.

"You can fly?" I asked, surprised. "How? You don't have wings—or do you use magical powers to levitate?"

The tiny blonde gave me a look as if to ask 'are you serious', before she stood up and dusted herself off.

I watched in fascination as the white cloak that wrapped around her body, came to life and unfurled behind her into two large feathered wings—or at least I think they did.

My eyes were focused on what they had been hiding, and my mind was focusing on the sudden epiphany that had struck me.

Specifically, that beneath her 'cloak' Yuri had been naked this entire time.

I stared at her openly, and found myself in a sudden state of mental deadlock.

She had tiny breasts.

But they weren't small on her.

So if they weren't small, then how could they be tiny? But they were technically tiny—but they looked like they were each at least a handful—for her tiny hands. Even if they were tiny, could they still be medium sized breasts? It was an impossibility. If one had tiny breasts then they were an A cup, and yet her breasts were clearly not an A cup, so since she wasn't flat chested, didn't that mean that her breasts couldn't be tiny?

The spell suddenly broke as Yuri's wings wrapped back around her bare body, shielding it from view.

I blinked rapidly and shook my head. "Sorry, were you saying something, Yuri?" I asked, my eyes rising up to meet hers.

"Issei!" Yuri glowered at me, her cheeks puffed out. "Pay attention to me!"

"I was," I told her honestly. "Just… not what you were saying," I finished awkwardly. "What were you saying?"

"Why did you leave?" Yuri asked unhappily. "I was all alone by myself!"

Oh. Right. I hadn't told her I was leaving had I? I'd been in a rush to get to school. "Sorry Yuri," I said to her. "That must have been scary, right?"

"I wasn't scared!" Yuri insisted, folding her arms beneath her cloak. "I was just… worried for you!" she said, nodding to herself. "Yeah, that's it!"

I found myself oddly touched, despite the bold faced lie from the cute little… what was she exactly? I voiced my question.

"I'm Yuri!" She said with a bright smile. "I'm bored. Let's play!"

I grimaced. "Sorry Yuri I have to go back to class before the teacher sends someone to find me."

Yuri pouted. "School sucks! Come play with me instead!"

I shook my head. "I want to—I really do. But, I have to go back or I'll get in trouble. If you want we can play after school?" I offered her with a smile before attempting to butter her up. "You can talk a lot better now, can't you? I'm impressed!"

Yuri beamed. "I learned a lot!" She fell silent for a moment. "Can I come with you?" she asked hopefully.

I hesitated to answer. "I don't think that's a good idea," I said. "I'm not sure how everyone would react if they saw you."

"Why?"

I found myself given pause. The obvious answer was because that she was something different—something that normal people would be shocked by. They'd have questions that I couldn't answer easily.

"I don't think they're ready to meet you yet," I said to Yuri. "Plus it'll be really boring you know?"

Yuri looked like she wanted to argue, and I could see the gears turning behind her silver eyes. "…The television did say that school was really boring," she conceded and unfurled her wings, revealing her naked form once more.

I did my best to keep my eyes above her shoulders even as she began to beat her wings and rose up into the air in front of my face.

She pointed a finger at me imperiously. "Come back as soon as possible!" She ordered, before she rose up and…

Huh… a peach.

By the time I snapped out of my daze Yuri was gone and I found myself standing there in the bushes alone.

I shook my head rapidly and slapped my cheeks, doing my best to get the vivid image of Yuri's… everything out of my mind as I made my way back into the main building and up to the second floor.

"Hyoudou!" The teacher pointed a piece of chalk at me the moment I stepped foot inside the classroom.

I snapped to attention. "Y-yes?"

"Do you know the reason why July and August both have thirty one days in them?"

I froze and stared at the teacher wide eyed.

I had no clue!

"Ah… uh… ah… ah…"

I went silent and my eyes glazed over as Faunus began to whisper into my mind.

After several seconds I blinked, and then smiled. "The month of July was originally called Quintilis, but it was renamed in honour of Julius Caesar by the Roman Senate due to it being the month of his birth. August—originally called Sextilis—on the other hand was renamed in honour of Augustus, the first emperor of Ancient Rome due to the month's significance in his rise to power and the fall of Alexandria."

I suddenly found myself on the receiving end of everyone's stares—though for an entirely different reason this time.

"W-well that is…technically correct, even if you didn't answer the question." The teacher said, appearing flustered by my wordy answer. "Take your seat Hyoudou."

I held in a fist bump and instead gave Faunus a mental fist bump as I made my way to my seat.

"Who are you and what did you do with Issei?" Motohama whispered loudly to me whilst keeping his eyes in the front of the classroom.

I didn't bother to respond to Motohama—instead my attention was focused on the inside.

How had Faunus known any of that? I had no bloody clue what I had said. I'd just repeated what he told me to say.

Was he really me?

' _I am thou.'_

And thou art I.

But that wasn't the entire story, was it?

Faunus fell silent again, and I found myself stuck between trying to figure out the mystery that had landed on my lap, and paying enough attention to the teacher to avoid another question shot my way. Somehow I doubted Faunus was going to be willing to offer another round of friendly advice.

Through some miracle—or pact with the devil—the rest of the day went by without event. As the end bell got closer and closer, I began to feel an excitement build inside of me—Katase's present was waiting for me behind the gym!

And it _was_ a present.

No matter what she or anyone else said! It was definitely a present from the strawberry blonde to me!

The bell rang.

Motohama opened his mouth.

I was already out the door.

I hurried down the stairs and the moment I stepped out into the schoolyard I broke out into a sprint toward the gymnasium.

Katase hadn't been specific about where she'd put my present, so I found myself circling around the large building, looking for it.

I have to confess, after several minutes of looking I found myself beginning to get nervous and worried—worried that she had played a prank on me and that she and the other kendo club members were watching and laughing at me.

I had almost given up, when I noticed a plastic bag sticking out from behind a bush.

"Aha!" I all but dived at the bush and yanked out the bag, tearing it open.

My eyes widened and I reached inside, pulling out the contents.

"Woah!" I exclaimed, my eyes widening as I found myself holding a shinai—an actual shinai! One in my hand and one that wasn't being used to beat me for peeping!

I found myself vaguely in awe as I turned it over in my hand—and as I did I began to notice that it was old—the body of it was covered with scuff marks and the handle was wrapped in some sort of rough black tape—there was something scratched into the handle.

'K.'

This was… Katase's?

I…

No, no.

I shook my head and smiled.

This must have been her old shinai. I knew the one she was currently using like the back of my hand. I'd been whacked by it enough times to be able to tell, that much was certain!

I was so caught up in admiring the beaten up shinai that I didn't notice that I wasn't alone until I heard a faint 'ahem'.

I looked up in surprise, only to frown a second later. "What do you want?" I asked irritably, eyeing the blonde haired blue eyed damned handsome bastard that had suddenly appeared before me.

Yuuto Kiba smiled at me in his usual fake-prince-charming way. "Oh, nothing. I just saw rushing out of the school building and was curious. I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"

I didn't buy that for a second! He probably thought I was up to no good and wanted to try to catch me in the act—which I wasn't!

"Would you go away if I said yes?" I asked waspishly.

To my surprise Kiba actually took a moment to consider his answer. His blue eyes shined with mirth as he came to a conclusion. "No, I don't suppose so." He paused. "I couldn't help but overhear a rumour," his eyes dropped down to the shinai in my hands.

I clutched it to my chest. "It's a present!"

The blonde smiled and held up his hands. "I know—Katase-san gave it to you." He lowered his hands. "You asked her to teach you Kendo, is that right?"

I reluctantly nodded. "That's right. But she said she was too busy, so she left this here for me instead." I gave him a suspicious look. "Why are you asking?"

"It just so happens that I know a thing or two about using a sword," Kiba said pleasantly as he stepped closer toward me.

I blinked rapidly, before scoffing. "What would you know about using a sword?" I asked skeptically. What the hell would a pretty boy like this know about using a sword? I bet he'd never even held a sharp knife before!

"I've been in a scuffle or two."

"Bullshit. I bet you've never had a day of hardship in your life!"

Kiba's smile dimmed briefly, before he shook his head and his smile returned to full wattage. "Would you be interesting in making a wager on it?" He asked, setting a hand on his hip.

My eyes narrowed in suspicion. This felt like a trap.

"Make a wager on what exactly?" I asked carefully.

"On who would win in a sword fight, of course," Kiba said amicably, and casually twirled a striped shinai in his hand.

I blinked rapidly and glanced down at the shinai that he held in his hand and I had been certain hadn't been there moments before. "Wait—where did you get that?" I asked warily.

Kiba tilted his head to the side. "This?" He asked as he held it up and turned it over in his hand. "It was always there."

"No it wasn't," I disagreed.

"Yes, it was," Kiba repeated.

It hadn't been. I was certain of it. I would have definitely noticed him holding a weapon! I may not pay attention to guys that much, but that wasn't something you just missed.

I eyed the shinai Kiba held warily. There was… something about it that put me on edge. I felt as though it was about to come to life and bite me.

"Don't feel confident?" Kiba asked, his ever present smile still on his lips.

"What… is that?" I asked slowly, my eyes still locked onto the weapon he held.

"Oh, this old thing?" He turned it over in his hand. "It's a demonic sword," he said to me. "You must be sensing its blood lust. It's been said that once it is drawn that it cannot be put away until it has tasted blood."

I stared at Kiba blankly for a long moment, before I burst out into laughter.

This… this damn handsome bastard! Underneath that bishounen face of his he was just a damn chuuni! If all the girls who were hot for him knew this I bet they'd drop him in an instance! I bet he didn't even know how to use that shinai. He probably got all his 'lessons' from anime!

I grinned and spun my Katashinai—that's what I'm calling it—in my hand before pointing it toward him dramatically. "Challenge accepted! If I win then you have to get down on your knees in front of all the girls in school and say that I'm better than you—and if I bruise that pretty face of yours then you have to protect me from them as well!"

Kiba blinked. "You think I have a pretty face?" he asked, surprised.

"T-that's not the part you should be focusing on you bastard!" I shouted at him as my cheeks burned.

Kiba laughed softly. "My apologies, Issei-kun. Shall I take it that you've accepted the wager?"

I had.

I was going to put this pretty boy in his place!

"I accept!" I declared. "What do you want if you win?" I asked as I gave my new-old shinai several practice swings.

Kiba shrugged a shoulder. "It shouldn't matter. Since I've never suffered any hardship, I won't be winning. Isn't that right?" He asked, his tone casual and as pleasant as ever.

I hesitated.

This… this definitely was a trap.

I glanced over my shoulders and began to look for anyone watching. There would be hell to pay if one of the girls saw me beating up the most popular guy in school. They'd return a thousandfold whatever I did to him if I was caught in the act.

The blond in front of me drew his striped shinai up and grasped the hilt with both of his hands. "Are you ready, Issei-kun?"

I brought my Katashinai up and held the handle tightly. "Just to clarify, this isn't a trap right?" I asked him warily as I shifted my feet to get a better footing. "There aren't girls waiting to pounce on me the moment I hit you?"

Kiba shook his head. "No. I promise it's just you and me. I made sure I wasn't followed as well—I wanted to sword fight you in private."

"You'll regret that desire soon!" I declared, grinning at him viciously. "You may be smart, handsome—and well-liked by everyone, but I…"

…Motherfucker.

I let out a shout of challenge and crossed the distance between us in two steps, swinging my new shinai down with all my might.

I had him—and then I was on my ass dazed and confused.

It all happened in a flash, quickly than I could react to. One moment Kiba had been defenseless, unprepared, and then the next he shifted his weight and tilted his shinai.

There had been a loud clacking sound as our weapons struck, and then…

… And then I was knocked down?

"Shall we continue?" Kiba asked as he drew his shinai back up into the starting position and slid his foot backward slightly. "Or are you going to concede already?"

I growled and clambered to my feet, bringing my shinai back up and squaring off with him again.

Okay. So maybe he knew a thing about using a sword.

I eyed him warily and resisted charging forward to strike him.

Kiba slowly stepped forward, holding his shinai up between us, that damnable pleasant expression the same as always.

I felt a tension begin to grow between my shoulder blades and my gaze kept steady on his sword.

Kiba suddenly moved forward, his feet carrying him toward me in two steps.

His shinai moved diagonally and I immediately brought my own up to block his strike.

Success!

There was a loud clack as the shinai smashed against each other.

Kiba immediately stepped back and drew his shinai up before swinging it down at me several more times.

I quickly lifted my shinai up and turned it to the side, batting away his first strike—only to yelp as his second struck my shoulder.

"Ow!" I stumbled backwards and glowered at him, bringing my shinai up before he could attack again.

To my surprise he held his ground, rather than chasing to strike again.

I was suddenly a lot less confident about winning the 'wager' that he had proposed.

I began to slowly step to the side, my shinai held up despite the sudden ache in my shoulder.

Kiba's eyes tracked me as I moved and he slowly shifted, turning with me and keeping his weapon up and his stance solid.

"So… where did you learn to use a sword?" I asked as my eyes flickered between his face, his shinai and his feet.

Kiba opened his mouth to respond.

I charged forward and with another shout swung my shinai.

Kiba's shinai locked with mine very briefly, before he sort of… spun? His shinai against mine. I let out a yelp as a sharp pain flared in my wrist and my shinai flew from my hand, clattering several feet away.

The tip of Kiba's shinai pressed against my chest firmly, and I swayed backwards and barely held from stumbling backwards and falling on my ass again.

"Yield."

My heart hammered inside my chest rapidly and my breaths came quick and uneven.

What… what the hell was that?!

I looked at Kiba, my eyes wide. "H-how did you do that?"

Kiba continued to smile. "As I was telling you, before I was interrupted. I learned from an old sword master when I was younger." The tip of the striped shinai pressed firmer against my chest. "Do you yield?"

I opened my mouth to respond.

Someone stumbled into view from behind Kiba.

"There you are!" Motohama exclaimed, panting heavily as he straightened up. "Issei! Come on! You're going to miss it, my masterpiece!" He blinked and looked at Kiba and I. "Uh… am I interrupting something?"

Kiba opened his mouth to respond.

"No," I said quickly, reaching up and knocking the shinai pressed against me to the side. "What is this about a masterpiece?"

Motohama puffed up and set his hands on his hips. "There is a war brewing!" He declared, grinning at me. "A war between the synchronized swimming team and the water polo team!" He reached up and adjusted his glasses with a sly smirk on his lips. "Some suave, clever rogue 'accidentally' double booked the school swimming pool today—who knows what's going to happen? There could be catfights! Hair pulling! Accidental exposure!"

That… that was amazing!

My eyes widened and I grinned. "Motohama you magnificent bastard!"

"Ahem."

I stiffened and turn back toward Kiba.

I coughed. "Uh, sorry Kiba. Something important has come up—

"You know I was standing right here the entire time right?" He asked, an amused look on his fair features.

I nodded seriously. "Right, so you understand that it's important right?"

Kiba gave me a look, before sighing and giving a good natured smile. "A draw then?"

I nodded eagerly.

He shook his head and stepped over to my Katashinai. He picked it up and returned to me, offering it.

"Thanks," I said, giving him a bright smile. I hesitated for a moment. "Do, uh, do you want to come and watch?" I asked awkwardly, ignoring the look of betrayal that Motohama sent my way.

Kiba shook his head. "I appreciate the offer but I have other plans."

"Are you sure? I mean…"

"I'm certain," Kiba said with a soft laugh. "But perhaps we can do this again? I believe I'd enjoy another round of sword fighting with you."

"P…please don't call it that."

Kiba tilted his head to the side. "Why not? It is what it is."

I sighed.

I reached over and clasped Kiba on the shoulder. "You're… you're a really innocent sort of guy aren't you, Kiba?" I asked.

I made a decision.

I smiled at him. "Let's do this again, alright? You can teach me how to use a sword, and I'll teach you how to… not say things like that, alright?"

Kiba blinked. "Things like what?"

I hesitated a moment, before leaning in and whispering something into his ear.

I felt Kiba stiffen as he listened, only for him to jerk back in surprise. "I-It means that?!"

I leaned back and nodded seriously.

"I…"

"Issei!" Motohama hissed out at me. "Come on!" He urged.

"Sorry Kiba! Duty calls!" I said with a beaming smile.

"S-sure."

I left with Motohama, leaving the stunned blonde to reevaluate his life choices.

"It's going to be amazing!" Motohama exclaimed as we made our way to the school pool. "I've been planning this for weeks! It's my most amazing plan yet, right?"

I nodded eagerly. "It's genius!" I said. "Fool proof as well! We can't be blamed if we're just sitting down and suddenly girls start pulling their clothes off, right?"

"Exactly! This is going to… be… shit."

I frowned. "I wouldn't say…" I trailed off as I saw why he had such an abrupt change of tune.

"So it was you two after all."

In front of us, a legion of girls stood.

Half were wearing the standard school swimsuit. The other half was wearing the normal school uniform.

"I had nothing to do with this!" I exclaimed quickly and stepped back. "It was all him!" I said, pointing at Motohama.

"Issei you traitor!" Motohama cried out indignantly.

The leader of the girls—a tall lithe girl with an amazing pair of hips—frowned and folded her arms across her meagre chest. "Justice is blind and by the time we're done with you two pervs, so will you be."

"Everyman for themselves!" Motohama cried out and turned to flee—but not before trying to push me over.

But I was ready.

"Dammit Issei!" Motohama shouted as I tripped him and immediately fled in the opposite direction.

"Get him!"

I laughed despite myself—there may have been tears as well—as I ran.

This was just my luck! The saying was true—the more things changed the more they stayed the same!

"It was all Motohama's fault, leave me alone!" I shouted over my shoulder as I fled from the mob of enraged girls. "I've been good!" I pleaded as I clutched the Katashinai in my hand. "I'm a changed man!"

My pleading fell on deaf ears—which goes to show you that it wasn't Justice. If they'd been blind they wouldn't have been able to chase me in the first place.

They didn't catch me straight away.

But they did, in the end.

It hurt.

A lot.

 **Prologue End**

* * *

 **PERSONAS**

 **Faunus**

 _P̝͖̟̬ͤ́ͬ͒̓ͭͥi̛͍̻͍̼̤̖x͈̟̗̓̄͗͝i̛͈̗̰͎̤è̺̪̬̥_

 **SOCIAL LINKS**

MATSUDA — THE MAGICIAN — Rank 2

SHITORI SONA — THE PRIESTESS — Rank 1

THE MAID — THE STRENGTH — Rank 1

YURI — THE FOOL — Rank 1

YUUTO KIBA — THE CHARIOT — Rank 1


	7. Book One: Chapter Seven

—~—

"This is too easy!"

I rolled my eyes as I dodged to the side and narrowly avoided being impaled by a charging Shadow. "Easy for you maybe! You're just watching!" I said to Yuri, giving her an annoyed look as she flittered around several feet in the air.

I turned around to face the Shadow as it had skidded along the ground. A cloud of dust kicked up in its wave as its hooves dragged along. It turned around, letting out a snort from its snout. It glared at me with its two blood red eyes and gave a shake of its head, sending its white mane aflutter.

"Don't try it again," I warned the Shadow as it began to scrape its hoof against the ground and lowered its head, baring its two massive curved green horns at me. It gave a bellowing neigh and charged at me once more, again attempting to impale me.

I grinned. "Don't say I didn't warn you!" I called out as I gripped the weapon in my hand tightly.

The trick to dealing with a Bicorn was to goad them into charging you—once they started they couldn't stop, and with their head down it was near impossible for them to keep track of where you were outside of sound.

I waited until the last second before stepping to the side and thrusting my sword out.

The Bicorn let out a screech as the plastic blade carved into its muscled body. Its legs buckled and it crumpled to the ground. Its heavy body rolled several feet, carried by the momentum, before it burst into a cloud of red veined shadows.

I let out a quick breath and straightened up. I brought my sword up to eye level and admired it. Its silvery grey-blue blade gleamed under the light of the red sky and the wing-shaped cross guard stood proudly, undamaged, despite the fact that it was a cheap knock off.

I reached down and grasped the sheath at my hip, before I slid my sword into it and gave it a pat. "Now all I need is a Princess to rescue and I'll be a real hero!"

Yuri flittered down and hovered several feet away from me. Unlike all those weeks ago when I had first met her—she now wore something akin to clothes. Clothes which had taken a lot of effort to find! It was bad enough that she was fun-sized and at a size different than most doll companies made clothes for—but she also had a pair of large wings that made it impossible to put a shirt on her!

I had eventually succeeded in locating clothes for her—though at great cost to my pride. Yuri's one and only outfit consisted of a pink polka-dot miniature bikini-top and a matching miniskirt—beneath which she was still naked as the day I met her—something that became a real eye opener when she decided to fly by in front of my face.

Yuri fluttered close to my face and gave me an annoyed look, folding her arms across her bikini-clad chest. "Are you saying I'm not a Princess?!" Yuri asked indignantly. "I'm super princess-like!" She insisted, twirling in the air and causing her skirt to briefly lift up.

Despite my best efforts—an effort which I definitely made, despite what anyone else will tell you—I found myself being briefly flashed by the tiny winged girl. I didn't let it phase me, I'm very gentleman-like, like that. "Very Princess-like." I agreed. "But I don't need to rescue you, so you don't count, alright?"

Yuri considered my words, before beaming and nodding. "Okay!"

"But, you know," I began casually. "A real princess would probably wear underwear," I said, giving her a meaningful look.

Yuri puffed out her cheeks and folded her arms across her chest. "No! I don't want to! It's bad enough I have to wear these icky clothes!"

My eye twitched. I had been forced to go to half a dozen girly shops before I found those! I was never going to live down the shame of having a young girl ask her mother why a weirdo like me was looking at girl's toys! "There's nothing icky about those clothes!" I Insisted.

Yuri huffed and set her hands on her hips as her wings flapped behind her. "These clothes are the worst. I hate you!" She shouted at me and took off, flying up out of reach.

Just in time as well.

The shadows on the dusty floor began to grow, bubbling and rising up, forming half a dozen small disfigured shapes.

I groaned and brought a hand up to my forehead. "Dammit, not you guys again. Haven't I beaten enough of you?" I asked exasperatedly.

The shadows melted away to reveal the true form of these very, very irritating shadows.

They were called Onmoraki—but I chose to call them what they were. Death Turkeys.

The small horde of Onmoraki squawked as their onion shaped heads split and formed mouths. They writhed briefly as their half-cooked featherless turkey bodies began to move and the tiny drumsticks that they called legs began to carry them stumbling toward me.

I wasn't fooled.

I brought my hand up to my heart and reached inside, grasping hold of one of my newest Persona. My hand ignited with blue flame.

"Nekomata!" I called out as I tore my hand from my heart and squeezed down, causing the flame to burst and erupt outward.

The flames gathered and condensed in front of me, forming into a humanoid shape, before they extinguished, revealing the Persona I had summoned.

If you had told me several weeks ago that I would have a Catgirl living inside my heart—who would listen to my every command, I would have lost my mind in excitement and been the happiest guy you'd ever seen. I may have even tried to kiss you—even if you were a guy.

If however, you had done that, then I would have been obliged to try to murder you for the cruel prank you played on me. So perhaps it was for the best.

Nekomata was a Catgirl.

This much was true.

But unfortunately, she was more cat than girl.

Nekomata stretched lethargically, her body arching slightly and pushing her fur covered breasts out into the air. Her clawed hands reached into the sky and her tail curled behind her as she let out a delighted half-purr half moan.

I closed my eyes and reiterated to myself that she was a cat—even if she technically had the shape of a girl and wasn't wearing clothes. It was fine to look but it would be weird to touch, right? Right.

My eyes snapped open and I thrust my hand out, pointing toward the horde of Death Turkeys. "Nekomata! Dinner time!"

Nekomata let out a hiss and her yellow eyes snapped to the horde of Onmoraki. She dropped down onto her hands and feet and tensed up before launching herself at them.

The Onmoraki let out shrill squawks and they flapped their featherless wings and rose up quickly into the air and away from my Persona.

One of them was slower to take off than the others and was torn to shreds by a swipe of Nekomata's claw. It vanished in a burst of red veined shadow.

"Magaru!" I called out to my Persona with a grin.

I felt a sudden drain of energy inside me and watched as Nekomata contorted its spine, rising back up onto its hind legs. It opened its mouth and let out a bellowing roar that caused the air around the Onmoraki to suddenly whip into a violent green-energy laced frenzy.

The Onmoraki exploded into shadow before they had a chance to react.

I beamed. "Good job Nekomata!" I praised my Persona.

Nekomata perked up and turned toward me, quickly crossing the distance between us and immediately beginning to rub up against me.

"A-aha…aha.." I gave a nervous laugh, flushing as I felt her curved—if fur covered body grind against mine. I reached out and pet Nekomata on the head, briefly running my fingers through her long brown hair.

"Glaarreeeeee."

I rolled my eyes. "Yuri I've told you before that you're not supposed to say 'glare' when you're glaring at me."

"But then how will you know I'm doing it when you're not looking?"

I sighed and decided not to dignify Yuri's question with a response—mainly because I didn't have one. I dismissed Nekomata and watched as she vanished in a swell of blue flames. I felt her take up residence in my heart once more moments later.

I felt myself beginning to tire. Even if I hadn't been physically hit by any of my enemies, there was still a spiritual toll that was beginning to rack up from having to call on my Persona so often.

It was time to end this!

I took a deep breath before I spun around and thrust my finger out dramatically. "Emperor Asshole! Come down here and fight me yourself already! Or are you more chicken than those Onmoraki?!"

There was a collective intake of breath from the legion of spectator shades that filled the classical colosseum that Yuri and I had been fighting in. The shades turned as one toward the ruler of the demesne.

The 'Emperor' sat upon a white and gold throne, high above the rabble in his own private podium. It was lavishly decorated with blood red banners and all manner of opulence— which had included several immaculately undressed servants who took turns feeding him grapes at the beginning.

Had being the key word.

Currently he was sitting empty in his podium with an ugly look of contempt on his face. "You are not worthy to face me in combat!" The Emperor snarled out, his voice booming and preternaturally loud in the colosseum. He slammed his fist against the marble arm rest before casting his hand forth. "Send in the benchwarmers!" He commanded.

Nothing happened.

I lifted my hands up and cupped them around my mouth before shouting up to him. "I already kicked their asses three waves ago you walking cliché! You're out of disposable minions!"

"I will end you!" The Emperor shouted at me and stood up abruptly, shaking his fist as spittle flew from his lips. "You will rue the day—"

I pulled down my eyelid, stuck my tongue out at him and blew a raspberry.

"I'll fucking kill you!" The Emperor shouted at my incoherently, his face as red as the banners he had surrounded himself with.

His face contorted and his form began to bulge as if he were about to explode.

With a deafening roar he leapt from his podium up on high.

His form exploded into a cloud of shadows that condensed and expanded into a massive humanoid figure.

He slammed into the colosseum floor. The ground trembled violently from the impact and a thick plum of dust bellowed out from where he had landed.

He began to rise to his full height—which was twice as tall as I was—and as he did, the pulsating shadows that covered him melted away. His body gleamed in the light of the black sun, as if someone had taken a metric ton of gold and hammered it into the form of a thickly muscled man. His skull extended up far beyond the norm in a flared crown-like shape, on the front of which were two pointed gold horns.

Two shimmering rubies sat where his eyes should have been. They gleamed with malicious intent and a hatred that was directly solely at me.

I looked upon my enemy and knew him for who he was.

Kin-Ki—which was thankfully just his name and not a description.

The massive golden figures mouth opened and something akin to speech erupted from it with deafening volume. " **Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's.** "

"The only thing I'm gonna render unto you is an ass kicking!" I declared, gripping my sword by the hilt and tearing it from its sheath, dramatically pointing the slightly-pointy end toward the Shadow before me.

Kin-Ki let out a bellowing shout of challenge and slammed his fist into the colosseum floor. The colosseum rumbled again and with a brutal motion he tore a massive curved sword that was as long as I was tall, out of the ground.

Kin-ki slashed it through the air several times—the pressure of which buffeted my body and threatened to bowl me over backwards.

Yuri gave a shriek of surprise that quickly faded in volume as she was blown away.

Kin-ki bared its teeth at me—which were funnily enough, also gold—before it slammed the blunt side of its massive weapon against its chest repeatedly resulting in several loud clangs that caused the very air itself to vibrate with its intensity.

I stared wide eyed up at the golden giant in front of me as I waited for my bones to stop resonating.

I lifted my sword up and stared at the fake blade it bore. Somehow I felt as though this wasn't going to be up to the task. That little show of his had been done to intimidate me—which it had—but unfortunately for the big dumb brute in front of me, it also highlighted the fact that his skin didn't just look like metal—it was metal.

I had a feeling trying to beat it with physical attacks would be as effective as trying to beat off with no hands.

That is to say, not impossible if you were creative enough, but definitely not worth it in the end.

It was something you'd only do for bragging rights.

I sighed and sheathed my sword.

" **Oh? Surrendering already? But we haven't even started!"** Kin-Ki let out a bellowing laugh.

"No," I said bluntly. "Not surrendering. I'm delegating." I folded my arms across my chest. "Faunus."

Blue flames erupted in front of me and coalesced into the familiar sight of my original Persona before extinguishing.

Faunus floated several feet off the ground with its arms folded across its chest.

' _It is about time. I was becoming restless._ '

"I saved the best for you, shouldn't you be praising me?" I asked with a grin as the tension in my body vanished.

' _I will endeavor to finish this quickly and give you the head pats you desire._ '

My nose crinkled. "I don't want head pats!"

' _There's just no pleasing you sometimes._ ' Faunus sighed before its eyes snapped to focus on the enemy before us. ' _Thank you for being patient._ '

Kin-Ki's lips peeled back, and it bared its gold teeth. " **By all means. They are your last words. Say them well.** "

Faunus' eyes narrowed and it unfolded its arms. It reached out and drew its flute out of thin air, twirling it through its clawed fingers.

Kin-Ki let out another round of belting laughter and it stabbed its massive sword into the ground, leaning upon it for support. " **Is that your weapon? I am most amused. Kneel before me and I will grant you the position of my jester.** "

Faunus said nothing and lifted its flute to its mouth.

" **I assure you goatman, no amount of music will save you from—** "

The golden oni let out a howl of agony as a shrill melody pierced through the air. Several deep fissures erupted all over its body, cracking the surface of its golden skin.

Kin-Ki snarled and launched itself across the colosseum floor to the sudden roar of the crowd.

The ground quaked with every lumbering step it took as it barrelled toward Faunus and I.

It took all my will power not to turn and run. I had faith in Faunus—that much was true. As long as he was by my side then there was nothing to fear. Still, it was akin to standing in front of a speeding train so it was certainly nerve wracking.

' _You should probably run_ ,' Faunus remarked, before it turned and launched itself out of the way of the charging Shadow.

"F-fuck!" I yelped and did the same, turning and running on the opposite direction as quick as my feet could carry me—and just in time. Kin-Ki's sword slammed into the ground where Faunus and I had been moments prior, carving through it as if it were sand and sending large chunks of the ground flying through the air as it tore the massive weapon free from the ground.

It turned toward Faunus, paying no attention to me as I ran away.

Its face was contorted in an enraged snarl as it charged again toward Faunus. Who quickly proved to be the more nimble out of the two of them.

Kin-Ki reached Faunus and swung its massive sword.

Faunus twisted in the air, narrowly avoiding being bisected by the blade. The fur on its body rustled by the force of the wind in the weapons wake. Faunus lashed out with its flute and smacked Kin-Ki across the face with it, resulting in a loud resonating 'ping' and Kin-Ki's head being snapped to the side. I doubt that it hurt the golden oni at all—but from the howl that it gave, it certainly angered it.

It soon became clear that Faunus was toying with the golden brute. Its lithe form easily slipped around the massive enemies' attacks, after which it would needle and prod with its flute, further enraging Kin-Ki until the Shadow finally had enough.

" **I'll kill you!** " Kin-Ki howled and turned its massive sword over in its hand, clutching the handle with both of its hands. Its body erupted with a flare of pulsating orange energy that poured into the sword it held. Kin-Ki thrust the sword into the ground. " **VAJRA BLAST!** " It snarled out and unleashed the energy it had gathered into the ground.

There was a brief moment of stillness and then the ground beneath Kin-Ki exploded. Massive fissures erupted outwards from the golden oni and the colosseum floor shattered as the explosive orange energy tore through it.

The explosion propagated outwards from Kin-Ki and I could only watch as it surged toward me, preceded by an upheaval of the very ground itself.

I tucked my chin down and crossed my arms in front of my face.

I heard Faunus shout my name briefly before the ground beneath me erupted and the force of it smashed into me with half the force of a speeding freight truck. Through some merciful act of a god, I briefly blacked out from the sheer shock to my system—but that only lasted a second.

The next moment I was aware again, and felt shards of rock and earth rain down upon me.

My body was wracked with pain. My muscles felt like they'd been torn and if you had told me you'd replaced my bones with dust I would have believed you.

Through sheer force of will I remained on my feet. I gritted my teeth and pushed through the pain—I couldn't afford the luxury of moaning about it.

Through the dust that had risen from the explosion, I could see Kin-Ki half way across the colosseum, once more attempting to kill Faunus, and once more, having the same luck as a drunk trying to swat a fly.

Faunus looked worse for wear, and I could see several gashes on its skin—no doubt from taking the brunt of Kin-Ki's attack.

I had gotten cocky and paid for it. I had been so assured that Faunus had this in hand that I had been content to sit back and just watch him make a fool out of the massive lumbering Shadow.

That had been a mistake.

It was time to end this.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my secret weapon.

I looked down at the small pineapple-shaped plastic toy in my hand. It was a cheap replica of the Type Ninety Seven grenade that was used in the Second World War. I had found it along with several others—which I had already used—in a bargain bin. I took a deep breath before exhaling grimly. "Faunus! Fastball special!" I called out.

Faunus looked away from Kin-Ki, just long enough to nod before it engaged Kin-Ki with renewed fervour.

I was too far away to throw the grenade reliably—especially with the muscles in my arm feeling like jelly. I gritted my teeth and forced my legs to move. The first several steps were painful, but soon I found myself running, clutching the toy grenade in my hand.

I stopped a dozen meters away—behind Kin-Ki in his blind spot.

I watched and waited for an opening.

Unlike modern grenades the Type 97 had no fuse. It relied on hitting something hard in order to detonate. It was super unreliable and was a desperate measure to say the least.

Faunus suddenly lunged forward and smashed into the giant golden oni, sending it stumbling back several steps.

I threw the grenade in my hand without hesitation.

It soared from my hand, tumbling through the air toward Kin-Ki's exposed back.

My aim was true.

There was a deafening roar as the grenade detonated and engulfed Kin-Ki' in an explosion.

The explosion cleared, revealing Kin-Ki. His back was covered in several dozen painful looking wounds—several of which had metal fragments still visible. It was only by some miracle that I avoided the same fate as the fragments from the grenade tore through the ground around me.

Kin-Ki collapsed forwards onto its hands and knees, and I watched as it began to shrink, its body rapidly losing its golden lustre as it returned to its vaguely familiar human form.

The colosseum crowd had gone silent once more and the only sounds that could be heard were the agonized gasps from the Shadow before me.

I moved closer and each step I made was deafeningly loud.

The Emperor—whose name I could honestly not tell you—took notice, and turned around, slipping onto his ass and immediately backpedalling away from me. His clothes were torn in several places and the laurel wreath that had rested upon his head was broken.

He looked upon me, his eyes filled with fear, where they had once been filled with distain and contempt. "Why… why are you here? Is it wealth? I-I can give you anything you desire… anything!" he began to plead as he attempted to crawl backwards.

I crouched down in front of him and smiled. "We could have avoided all this if you had just said that in the first place, you know," I said to him amicably. I extended a hand toward him and pointed to his neck. "I want that."

"N-No! A-anything but this!" He pleaded, his hand coming up to his neck and clutching the object of my desire—or rather, his, I suppose?

"Look." I found myself unable to keep the irritation out of my voice. "Either you give it to me, or Faunus can take it from you," I said.

A shadow fell over the 'Emperor' as Faunus made itself known.

"F-fine! T-take it!" The Shadow panicked.

"Good man," I said before reaching down and grasping his Shard of Desire and summarily tore it off.

The shadow gave a pitiful whimper.

I turned and left without another word, making my way across the shattered remains of the colosseum toward the gladiator's entrance. I passed through, and as I did, I felt Faunus return to my heart.

I glanced over my shoulder to make sure that I was alone, and seeing that I was, I let out a whimper of pain that I had been holding in. "Ow, ow, ow, ow," I moaned out and stumbled onward before leaning against a wall to steady myself.

I heard the faint sound of tiny wings beating moments before Yuri appeared in front of me, her silver eyes filled with worry.

"Issei! Are you okay?" she asked, biting down on her bottom lip. "That was a scary one!"

I gave a faint laugh—which I immediately regretted. "Y-yeah you sure know how to pick 'em," I said, before shaking my head and grimacing. "I messed up," I admitted tiredly. "It was easier than the last one—this one was just a big dumb fighter. The last one breathed fire and everything, remember?"

"Ooh! I remember!" Yuri nodded rapidly, before she fidgeted. "Do you… have it?" she asked hopefully.

I gave her an amused look and held my hand up to her, revealing the contents.

"Oooh!" Yuri flittered closer and reached out. "What's this one?" she asked excitedly as she held up the comparatively large Shard of Desire.

"It's a whistle," I told her as I pushed off the wall and began to walk forward, continuing my search for my way out of the Demesne I was stuck in. "You blow on it and it makes a loud sound. I guess he was a sports coach or something?" I said with a shrug.

Yuri landed on the top of my head, sitting down and inspecting the silvery whistle she held in her hands. "Oh, should I blow on it?" She asked.

"I wouldn't. Who knows where that guy's mouth has been?"

Yuri's nose crinkled. "Yuck!" she exclaimed and let go of the Shard.

I was ready for that, and caught it.

I saw a faint blue glow around the next corner and relief flooded me. "Finally," I said, and eagerly began to walk toward the light.

I felt Yuri leave my head, and a moment later she flittered into my vision. "Are you going back to your weird club thingy?" Yuri asked, puffing her cheeks out in irritation. "Come home with me!" she insisted, "We can watch anime!"

"That sounds wonderful," I told her honestly. "But I have something I need to do first, alright?" I reached up with my free hand and gave her a gentle pat on the head. "Be a good girl and go wait for me at home, okay?"

Yuri pouted but nodded. "If you keep me waiting then I'm going to pick something to watch from your special collection!" she said, waving a finger warningly.

I snorted. "Good luck. After you scratched the last dvd I moved my hiding spot."

Yuri glowered at me, before she turned and… it was hard to describe what she did—mainly because I had no clue how it worked. One moment she was there, and the next she sort of slipped out of reality. Yuri had the unique ability to come and go from this strange world on a whim—which I imagine had something to do with how she was born.

The first time it had happened was entirely by accident.

One moment the sun had set and I found myself in the World of Desire alone. The next, she nonchalantly appeared out of thin air.

When I had asked she just said that she had followed me. Since then we had experimented with her strange ability—and discovered that with a bit of extra effort she could pull me along with her, both into the World of Desire, and back into reality.

In the same experiments we had discovered that she also had the uncanny ability to locate demesnes, or more specifically, the Shards of Desire that their owners carried. We'd amassed a small collection of them over the past several weeks.

I shook my head.

This wasn't the time to get lost in thoughts.

I pushed through the pain and made my way through the doorway to the Blue Velvet Room.

The pains and aches throughout my body melted away as I stepped through and found myself at the familiar entrance to the Blue Velvet Room. The faint sound of piano and the serenade of an ever absent female singer drained away what little remained.

I closed my eyes and briefly basked in the sensation, before I opened them and stepped through, into the main lounge.

"Welcome back, honoured guest."

I smiled at the long nosed proprietor of the club. I began to walk over, and as I did, I noticed—to my disappointment—a distinct lack of feminine charm in the room.

"Hey Igor," I said as I hopped onto one of the many barstools in front of him. "How's it going?"

"Pleasant as always," Igor replied, his veiny eyes regarding me for a brief moment. "I sense that you have gained another Persona, as well as another Shard of Desire."

I beamed and nodded.

I reached out and set the whistle that I had taken from the Shadow on the bar, before I reached up to my heart and focused. There was a brief flash of blue beneath my hand. I squeezed and felt several weights materialize in my hand.

"Check them out!" I said eagerly, drawing my hand away and opening my fingers, revealing half a dozen silver and gold coins, each with a different depiction.

I reached up with my other hand and began separating them. "Let's see, Faunus, Nekomata—I already showed you Hua Po, right? She's sorta like Pixie—except she has red skin and can only make bird noises—Oh! Silky, she's really pretty, even though the green skin is a bit weird… Ah here it is!" I beamed and drew out my new Persona, holding it up. "This is Apsaras! She was one of the girls feeding the Shadow I just beat!"

I set my older Personas down on the bar and held it up. "She's pretty as well! She's got pale blue skin and is a really good dancer—but she's like Silky, she can use Ice and can heal," I explained to Igor, before crinkling my nose.

The gamer in me told me that having multiple Persona with the same element was a bad idea. In games you always needed good type coverage—and that was the same here. I'd noticed that certain Persona were weaker against certain elements and stronger against others. It wasn't always easy to pick out a weakness based on how a Shadow looked, but it was possible to figure it out through trial and error.

Igor steepled his fingers upon the bar. "You have amassed a fine collection of Personas," he said, "It is time I revealed to you another function of this establishment." He lifted a hand and gestured at the coins I had laid on the bar top.

"You are the Wild Card. This gives you the ability to handle more than one Persona."

I nodded. I knew this—the evidence that I could was on display between us.

"With the ability to wield multiple Persona comes infinite possibilities. To that end, this establishment will assist you in nurturing that potential." Igor reached down and carefully plucked one of the silver-gold coins from the table's surface, holding it up and offering it to me.

I extended my empty hand.

"No, the other one."

I blinked, before I held out my other hand—the one holding Apsaras' coin.

Igor dropped the coin he held—Hua Po—into my hand, before he slipped one of his glove covered hands beneath mine, and carefully closed it with his other hand until my fingers wrapped around the two coins.

I blinked and looked up at Igor questioningly.

"Close your eyes," Igor said, his veiny eyes staring intently into mine.

I reluctantly did so, despite the fact I was super creeped out by the weird looking man holding my hand with both of his.

"Personas are personalities that exist within you. They are masks that are used to endure hardship."

I began to feel anxious, and attempted to draw my hand away from Igor's.

His hands firmly clasped down on mine and held tighter. "Do not shy away. What you feel is not anxiety, but the vast potential that lay within your mind. Infinite as the universe and unending as time."

I bit down on my bottom lip. I really wanted to ask where he was going with this. It was starting to get—

I jerked back and tore my hand out from between Igor's, my eyes snapping open and my heart racing. "What the hell was that?!" I demanded.

Igor smiled and slowly lowered his hands into the usual steeple. "Infinite potential," he said.

"Really?" I asked skeptically. "Because it sure felt like a skeleton dressed like a Matador!"

Igor chuckled. "Do not be alarmed. You know what it was, do you not?"

I grimaced but nodded. "It was a Persona, right?" I asked, looking to him for confirmation.

Igor nodded. "Indeed it was." He gestured toward my hand.

I opened it and looked at the two coins I held. "…I don't understand," I admitted.

"It is possible to unite individual Persona in order to birth new Persona. This is known as fusion," Igor said. "Persona created in this method have the potential to inherit the abilities of their predecessors."

"So that was… what Hua Po and Apsaras would become?" I asked carefully, staring down at the two coins. "I… why would they become that—why couldn't they become a tiny blue singing dancer with wings?" I shook my head. "No—more than that, what happens to the old Persona? I don't want to lose my Persona!"

"Persona used in fusion return to the Sea of Souls," Igor explained to me. "You fear for your Persona?" he asked, his tone fascinated.

I folded my arms across my chest. "Yeah, so?" I asked irritably. "Is that so weird? It's natural to worry about cute girls, isn't it?"

Igor blinked once. "I would not know," he admitted. "You should not fear for your Persona. As I have said, they are infinite in being," He extended a hand toward my chest. "Fusion is not the destruction of a Persona, it is a rebirth. Once you have accepted a Persona into your heart, you need but desire their return, and they shall."

"W-wait really?" I asked suddenly. I leaned forward. "How do I do it?" I all but demanded to know.

"Ah. I see. You wish to bring the Pixie persona back into your heart?"

I flushed and nodded. "Y-yeah. I mean…"

Igor held up a hand. "You do not have to explain your reasons. I do not judge, I merely accept."

I gave Igor a grateful smile.

"Unfortunately, if your wish is to resummons Pixie, then I am afraid you will have to sacrifice one of your existing Persona to do so."

"What, why?" I asked in alarm.

"Though your potential is unlimited, you are only just beginning to become accustomed to your power," Igor said. "To accept a seventh Persona into your heart at this stage would have undesirable consequences for you."

"Oh…"

I frowned and looked down at the coins on the bar top, my eyes roaming over the various designs.

My eyes lingered on a particular one.

' _Issei…_ ' Faunus said warningly.

"What? I wasn't thinking it!" I denied instantly.

' _I am you! I know exactly what you're thinking, and I'm telling you to not think it!_ ''

I glowered. "Fine, I _was_ thinking about it. But I wouldn't do it."

I just didn't want to give up any of my cute Persona!

Hua Po was adorable! Silky was super beautiful! Nekomata was… a Catgirl! Apsaras was super sexy when she danced! And… my last Persona was a walking wet dream!

I gulped and picked up my most dangerous Persona—dangerous to me that is. I couldn't focus on fighting when I summoned her!

She was top tier in all areas! She had the most amazing breasts—both large and gravity defying! She had wide sexy hips and a slim delicate waist with a taut stomach that when combined put gravure to shame! She had long ears and purple skin as well—just like those elves in that one game! The crowning jewel on all of that was that she was always topless—the only thing covering her jugs was her long dark hair, and once she started fighting that wasn't an issue either!

I gave a happy sigh.

Yaksini really was the best.

' _Issei you're drooling…_ '

I huffed but reached up and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "You were saying something about having to sacrifice a Persona to make room for Pixie right? Can it be Faunus?" I asked Igor, only half serious.

' _Issei!_ ''

Igor paused. "While it is indeed possible to discard your original Persona, I would heavily advise against it. To do so would leave you irrevocably changed. One of the other existing Persona within you would take residence within the core of your identity and its traits would become your own."

I stiffened. "Wait, you mean—?"

I felt the Faunus' smugness' before he even said anything. ' _That's right. I'm everything that makes up the desire of 'Hyoudou Issei'. If you get rid of me, your love of women, of breasts, would vanish. Perhaps Apsaras would take my place, and you'd find yourself getting horny for dancing. How does that sound, huh?"_ Faunus needled me with his words incessantly.

It sounded awful.

"P-point taken," I said weakly.

I felt sick just thinking about it. What would I be without the intrinsic love I felt for the glorious divinity that is housed within a girl's chest? I would be… I would become something unrecognizable.

"Ahem. If I may?"

I shook my head and gave Igor a shaky smile. "S-sorry. I understand now. I can't get rid of Faunus, right?"

At least… not until I found a female Persona with as big of a love for breasts as I had.

' _Hey!_ ''

I ignored Faunus and smiled at Igor. "So! What were we talking about?"

"Your desire to draw Pixie from the Sea of Souls, and your inability to take on another Persona," Igor said calmly. "Your desire and efforts in seeking only female Persona are known to me. Perhaps I could offer a solution?"

I nodded. "Sure!"

"Very well." Igor reached down and drew two coins from the small pile on the table. "Hua Po and Yaksini. If you fused these together they would bring forth another female Persona whilst freeing up space within your heart."

I grimaced. "Ah… but I really like Yakisini she has great… uh... personality," I finished lamely.

Igor gave me a look.

I reluctantly reached down and picked up Hua Po and Yaksini's coins.

I closed my fingers around them and shut my eyes tight.

For several moments there was nothing, and I felt a bit silly as I sat there, clutching the coins tightly in my hand. But slowly, I began to feel something.

I felt… the warmth of a mother's embrace and the steadfast devotion of the perfect wife. Through the darkness in my mind, a figure slowly took form. Igor had been right. This time it wasn't a menacing skeleton.

It was a woman—a beautiful woman with caramel skin that was decorated by finely painted ankhs. Her clothes were… not to my taste, far too conservative. She wore a golden headdress and her upper body was decorated by ornamental golden feathers that began at her breasts, cupping them gently, and spread all the way out to her wrists, becoming progressively larger and more extravagant.

Beyond all of that, I felt a spark of something… more.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked down at the two coins in my hand, feeling pensive.

She… whoever she was, was stronger than both Yaksini and Hua Po. That much was obvious. It was certainly a case of the 'stronger than the individual components'.

I found myself torn.

On one hand, I loved my Persona.

They were everything I ever wanted in this life.

A harem of beautiful women all for myself!

I was the one who wasn't strong enough, so why did my Persona have to pay for my weakness?

I didn't want to sacrifice them!

"Perhaps a discussion for another time?" Igor suggested, his tone gentle. "We have other more pressing matters to discuss."

"What could be more pressing than my harem?!" I demanded, before catching myself and flushing. "Ah, s-sorry!" I said quickly. "I was, I mean."

Igor held up a hand and I fell silent. He regarded me for a long moment in silence, before he began to speak, his tone measured and calm.

"Your growth over the past few weeks has been pleasing to observe. However, in the coming days you will find yourself facing your first true test," Igor said. "If you are unable to prove yourself greater, and are found wanting, the future you so desperately strive for will be lost."

My eyes had gotten progressively wider and wider with every word that Igor said, until they may as well have been the size of dinner plates.

I… what did he mean by 'future lost'? I was doing great, right? He even said so! I'd gathered several Persona and I was collecting the Shards of Desire—at least one every few days! I'd beaten Monsuda—Akamine as well! I'd even defeated another dozen or so other Shadows who'd been overcome by their desire!

I was ready, right? I was, I was certain of it.

Still… I couldn't help but be apprehensive.

I gave a nervous laugh. "T-the way you say that makes it sound like you know what's coming." I hesitated, before asking. "Do you?"

Igor simply smiled at me. "As always, your visits, while unorthodox in nature, are pleasant. I look forward to seeing you again, once you have overcome your trial."

My eyelids began to feel heavy.

I shook my head and reached up, slapping my cheeks to wake myself up—or rather, keep myself asleep?

"W-wait. I don't want to… wake up yet. I haven't… had my… maid service…" I said weakly as my heavy became too heavy to keep up.

I don't know why I even tried. It was impossible to stay in the Blue Velvet Room once I began to wake up. No matter how much resistance I put up it always ended the same, with my falling asleep in my 'dream' and waking up in the real world.

I opened my eyes and gave a soft sigh.

I blinked and glanced down along my body.

Yuri smiled at me, her adorable face mere inches away. She had her chin propped up on her hands and I could see her legs playfully kicking back and forth behind her. "Good morning darling~" Yuri said, her voice sweet and lilting as the words rolled off her tiny tongue.

I stared down at the tiny girl on my chest, stunned.

I…

"Would you like breakfast, darling?" She slowly shifted, dragging herself up into wariza with her hands planted between her legs. "Or maybe a shower?" She slowly lifted a hand up to her lips, touching them with a single digit. "Or perhaps, you'd prefer to have me?"

I blinked slowly.

That line… it sounded familiar. Very familiar. In fact, I was certain that It belonged to one of the porno's that I kept hidden in my secret stash.

My mind slowly connected the dots. "You…" My eyes narrowed. "You… you!"

Yuri's smile widened.

I lunged at her, trying to catch her with my hands.

Yuri gave a cackle and she launched herself out of my reach with a flap of her wings.

I tried again, only to get tangled in my sheets and fall to the floor with my limbs skewed at weird angles.

Yuri zoomed out of my room, laughing as she went.

"Dammit Yuri!" I shouted out after her. "I told you to not to touch my stuff!" I forcefully pulled myself out of the sheets I had been tangled in. "You keep scratching the discs!"

By the time I was free my alarm clock had begun to ring.

I briefly considered foregoing school in order to hunt Yuri down and get my revenge before I pushed the idea aside.

School first, _then_ vengeance.

I could plan my vengeance at school and it would be all the sweeter and possibly involve a flyswatter.

By the time I was ready to leave I had seen no sign of Yuri. If there was one thing she was good at it was staying hidden when she didn't want to be found.

"Don't touch my stuff!" I said grumpily into my 'empty' house, once last time before shutting the door.

I turned and left, making my way to school.

My journey to school proved to be uneventful, as did the first half of school. The classes were more of the same mind-numbingly boring schoolwork. I forced myself to pay attention all the same, but by the time lunch rolled around I was ready to call it quits.

I stretched my arms and leaned back in my seat, letting out an almighty yawn.

"Yo, Issei!" Motohama clapped me on the back and sat down on the edge of my desk. "You want to grab something to eat? My treat!" He flashed me a smile and a thumbs up.

"Why?" I asked suspiciously. "What do you want?"

"Don't be like that!" Motohama protested, waving his hand in dismissal. "I figure we haven't really done anything together, all three of us for a bit, yeah? We should totally have lunch together and talk like we used to!" He slung an arm around my shoulders. "Come on! What do you say?"

If there was such a thing as 'killing intent' I was certain that in that moment I felt it.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, and I felt an irritated gaze aimed toward Motohama and I.

I craned my head back and glanced around my glasses wearing friend and saw that several girls—Katase in particular were glaring daggers at Motohama's back.

"Hurk!"

Motohama's grip around me tightened. "C-come on man! J-Just the t-three of us!" he stammered, apparently well aware of the looks being sent his way, but unwilling to give in.

"What are you doing?!" I hissed at him and began to try and pry his arm from around my neck. "You're gonna get us both killed!"

Motohama's grip reluctantly loosened and an annoyed look overcame his features.

"…Lunch sounds good though," I admitted, offering him a smile. "And we can talk about… the weather?"

Motohama blinked slowly at me. "…I don't even know you any more man."

I rolled my eyes. "I mean talk about _the weather_ ," I repeated.

Motohama's eyes widened. "Oh! The weather, right!" He nodded quickly and gave an exaggerated wink as he hopped off my desk.

I screamed at him incoherently inside my head as I stood up and grabbed my bag. "Matsuda, you coming man?" I asked, glancing over at my bald headed friend who had been attempting to casually sneak out of the classroom.

Matsuda stiffened and turned around, giving a nervous laugh. He reached up and scratched the top of his head. "Haha, yeah that sounds good?" He gave me a brief look that promised retribution.

The three of us left the classroom and made our way down to the cafeteria.

"So," Motohama began to say as we waited in line. "I've gotten an early copy of Kaben Rider Pinky's latest adventure, you both interested?" He asked, waggling his eyebrows. "I haven't watched it yet, but I hear there are tentacle monsters!"

I stared at Motohama for a long moment before giving a laugh. "There is nothing else in the world I'd rather do," I said with a smile, before hesitating. "But… I'm kinda busy at night these days," I admitted reluctantly.

"With what exactly? Did you get a night job or something?"

I shook my head. "No, not a job. I just can't… explain it really. It's important though."

Motohama clucked his tongue and turned toward Matsuda. "How about you?"

"Heck," Matsuda began, reaching up to rub his neck. "I'd love to as well, but after club I just want to lay down and relax, you know? It's exhausting—fun, but exhausting."

Motohama sighed. "I figured," he said. "Just thought I'd try and ask you know? We see each other at school every day but it feels like we're not spending the same quality time we used to."

I began to feel a bit guilty.

I'd been so caught up in my nightly missions with Yuri for the past few weeks that I hadn't really had time to spend with my friends. Matsuda seemed fine, he had his renewed club activities to keep him occupied, but I hadn't stopped to think about how Motohama would feel, being left by himself.

From the look Matsuda was giving me, he felt the same way. "You know," Matsuda began to say. "The world probably won't end if I miss one day's practice. How about you, Issei, think you can make Friday?"

That was… a terrible choice of words.

Still, the world _probably_ wouldn't end if I didn't go into the World of Desire for one night.

"Yeah. I'll be there."

Motohama looked at us both in surprise, before he gave a genuine smile. "Friday it is then."

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the three stooges," a terrifyingly familiar voice drawled from behind me.

I stiffened and Motohama's smile dwindled as he looked behind me.

I turned around and startled as I found myself confronted with the devil herself.

Kiryuu Aika smiled at me from mere feet away. Her brown hair was tied into two pigtails as it usual. Her pink-rimmed glasses gleamed as she looked at me, amusement in her eyes. She glanced toward my friends, before, she lifted a hand up and pointed at Matsuda. "Small dick."

Matsuda let out a sound of protest.

She pointed at Motohama. "No dick."

"That's factually untrue!" Motohama said indignantly.

I watched as her finger landed on me, and her smile, if it were possible, widen. " _My_ dick," she said, her voice filled with mirth.

I felt each of my friends eyes turn toward me, despite the fact I was standing there frozen like a statue and staring at the brown haired girl in front of us.

"Issei! Is that true?! Did you let her touch your thing?!" Motohama hissed out at me, his hand grabbing at my arm roughly.

I turned to Motohama aghast. "Wha—No! I mean…"

Kiryuu rolled her eyes. "Hyoudou, can I talk to you privately?" She asked, sparing a glance toward Motohama. "Maybe in an empty classroom?" She waggled her eyebrows.

Motohama made a strangled sound. "Don't do it! It's a trap!" He hissed out at me.

The brown haired schoolgirl reached over and poked me. "Hey, you owe me one, remember?"

I looked at Kiryuu in surprise. I owed her one? Since when? I thought back to the last few times I'd talked with her, only to come up with nothing.

Kiryuu continued to look at me expectantly.

"Alright," I said finally, to my friends protests. "Let's go."

Kiryuu smiled and nodded, before she turned and began to walk.

I followed her.

We left the cafeteria and as soon as we entered the hallway, she stopped and turned toward me. She reached up and began to absently toy with one of her hair braids. "I need a favour," she told me.

"What is it?" I asked, almost dreading the answer.

"Nothing big," she reassured me and let go of her braid. "I just need you to meet me out at the front gate after school ends, alright?"

She looked at me, her eyes surprisingly serious.

I really wanted to know more, but for some silly reason, I decided to let it go. "Alright," I agreed.

Kiryuu blinked. "Wait, really?"

I smiled at her. "Really," I said with a nod.

"Huh. I thought I was going to have to blackmail you."

I blinked and a seed of dread sprang to life inside my stomach. "Blackmail me with what exactly?"

Kiryuu waved her hand dismissively and beamed at me. "Doesn't matter. Thanks Hyoudou! Remember, right out the front of school as soon as the bell rings!" She said, before turning and leaving me there watching her go.

"…I have a bad feeling about this," I muttered under my breath, before turning and making my way back into the cafeteria.

What could she possibly need from me? Maybe she had gotten into a fight with someone and needed a guy to help her out? That… sounded like it made sense. With how she acted it was no wonder that she'd have people angry at her!

I nodded to myself.

That made perfect sense.

I found Motohama and Matsuda sitting off to the side by one of the tables. Both of them were munching down on what looked and smelled like freshly baked curry bread.

Motohama perked up as he saw me and picked up a brown parcel off the table and tossed it at me.

I caught it and tore it open before biting down and letting out a muffle moan of delight as the tantalizing taste and smell of curry invaded my mouth and nose. I sat down at the table beside Motohama and swallowed the mouthful of delicious food.

"So what'd she want?" Matsuda asked.

I shrugged a shoulder. "Hell if I know. She said she wanted me to meet her out the front of the school for something."

"Sounds suspicious," Motohama said with a frown, lowering his half eaten curry bread to the table. "…What if she's going to try to drug you and steal your organs?"

Matsuda and I stared at Motohama for a long moment.

"What?" Motohama said defensively. "It could happen! I've been watching documentaries about it! Cute girls lure guys into hotels and they wake up in an ice bath without their kidneys."

I grinned. "You know, what I'm getting from this is that you think Kiryuu is cute. Should we be worried that you've gone to the dark side, Motohama?"

"What?! No!" Motohama exclaimed, seemingly alarmed by the very thought. "I mean, she's sorta cute yeah, but—no, just no! Her boobs are way too small!"

I laughed as I watched my friend attempt to rationalize his repressed attraction to Kiryuu and took another bite of my curry bread.

This is what I had been missing for the past few weeks.

I'd been so caught up in fighting against Shadows that I had forgotten to take joy in the little things—like one of my best friends having a mental breakdown over a cute girl, or the bonding experience of watching a brand new porno for the first time!

I felt good.

This was great.

My good spirits continued on until the end of the school day, so much so that I'd forgotten about my promise to meet Kiryuu at the school gates.

I waved Matsuda off as he went to practice, and Motohama and I made our way out of the school building. I listened to him talk animatedly about the latest iteration of the Kaben Pinky franchise

I was so caught up in the vivid descriptions that Motohama was lavishing me, that I didn't notice a certain brown haired girl approaching until she latched onto my arm and yanked me away from Motohama.

"Come on," Kiryuu said, "We don't have much time!"

I heard a vague half hearted sound of protest from Motohama before he shrugged and turned away, continuing on unperturbed by my abduction.

Kiryuu let out an anxious sound and let go, before reaching into her bag and pulling out… a comb and a can of what looked suspiciously like hairspray. "Don't move," Kiryuu said and stood on her tippy toes, reaching up toward my hair.

"Wha—stop!" I protested, reaching up to knock her hands away.

"Relax! I'm just fixing your hair," Kiryuu insisted, knocking aside my hands and beginning her assault on my hair.

My face contorted in displeasure as I felt her yank her comb through my hair, and the smell of hairspray soon reached my nose. I sneezed.

"Don't move!"

I glowered, but endured. I had no idea why she was so intent on messing with my perfectly awesome hairstyle, but it was over after a minute—though it hadn't finished quickly enough if you asked me.

Kiryuu stepped back and looked at me from several different angles. "It'll have to do," she said reluctantly, before sighing and putting away her comb.

"Do I want to look?" I asked, dreading the answer.

Kiryuu rolled her eyes. "It looks fine, better than before if you ask me. Anyway, come on, we're late." She reached over and grabbed my hand, tugging me along.

"H-Hey wait!" I protested as I found myself being pulled along by the shorter girl.

She didn't wait.

I quickened my pace and found myself walking beside her, her fingers squeezing mine as we walked toward the front gate. "Can you tell me what this is about now?" I asked, beginning to feel very, very nervous.

Kiryuu paused for a step, before she shook her head and continued. "Listen, Hy—Issei," she corrected herself. "All I need you to do, is stand there, smile, look pretty and nod, alright?" She said, giving me a pleading look. "That's it. After that we can go back to everything being normal, alright?"

"O-Okay."

Kiryuu smiled in relief and nodded at me, before she continued to lead me out of the front gates and over toward a dark sedan, where a man and a woman were waiting.

The man was wearing a suit that was unbuttoned and missing the necktie. He had a no nonsense look on his face and his dark hair was cut short and groomed well. The woman beside him was wearing a blouse and a suit skirt. She had a fair amount of makeup on and her brown hair was tied back into a tight bun.

Kiryuu let go of my hand and gave a forced smile. "Here he is, just like I said." She turned toward me. "Mum, Dad, meet Issei."

Wait—Mum and Dad? These were her parents?!

My eyes went wide as I found myself suddenly under the intense scrutiny of the two adults.

Kiryuu's Dad frowned, but stepped toward me and extended a hand. "Issei, was it?" He asked, his tone collected, but somehow cold as well.

"Ah, yeah. Nice to meet you," I said awkwardly, reaching out to shake his hand. As I did, I glanced to Kiryuu, giving her a 'what the hell' type of look, only to hold in a whimper of pain as her father's hand clamped down on mine and squeezed my fingers together.

"So. You're my daughter's boyfriend, that right?"

—~—


	8. Book One: Chapter Eight

—~—

You are destined to meet a devil.

It is your fate to die.

Igor told me those words several weeks ago on the night before all the craziness in my life began.

He had predicted that my bondage loving girlfriend would be the one to kill me—my words, not his. I had read between the lines. I had told him that I hadn't believed in fortune telling, and if I was being perfectly honest, I still didn't—or, that's what I would have said if you had asked me several minutes ago.

I found myself standing there in front of Kiryuu's father, frozen like a statue, my eyes wide and my fingers being crushed by his surprisingly strong grip, a grip that didn't seem like it would be relaxing anytime soon.

Kuoh Academy students walked by chatting animatedly. All the while we stood there. Kiryuu's father stared down at me, his gaze unwavering as he waited for my answer to the question. 'Are you my daughter's boyfriend?'

The reason for my hesitation was simple.

I had no idea how to respond.

The simple truth was that I wasn't, and yet I doubted that was the answer that Kiryuu herself wanted me to give.

Despite the fact that my body was frozen like a statue, my mind was going into overdrive.

Kiryuu had told them that I was her boyfriend.

Did that mean she was my girlfriend? That sent alarm bells ringing in my head for obvious reasons and made me want to scream no and run for the nearest hills. If I said no to her father did that mean that I would sidestep my prophesied death? That could very well have been the case, and yet, I found myself reluctant to do so.

Kiryuu had literally dragged me in front of her parents and practically begged me into going along with the ruse she had put into place—the purpose of which I had no idea, but it clearly meant something to her.

As I found myself sweating under the gaze of her stern looking father, I understood why she had been so insistent.

This guy was intense!

"Well?" His grip on my hand tightened.

I swallowed a lump in my throat and looked him directly in the eye.

It was now or never.

"Yes."

I heard Kiryuu let out a sigh of relief from beside me and a second later she stepped forward, smiling at her father, whose eyes hadn't left mine.

"Well! There you have it. I'm glad you finally met," Kiryuu said with a forced smile. "Issei is busy—you know, how school is," she said with a wave of her hand and an nervous laugh.

Kiryuu's mother shook her head and stepped over toward her husband, laying a hand onto his shoulder. To my relief the grip on my hand eased a fraction. "Now, now. I'm certain your boyfriend—Issei, was it?" She looked to me for confirmation.

I nodded quickly. "Y-yeah. Nice to finally meet you," I said, giving her a relieved smile. "Ki—Aika has told me so much about you both," I said ignoring the strange taste her name left on my tongue. "But I really should be going—like she said, I'm pretty busy," I said, and tried to draw my hand back, only to have the grip tighten once more.

"My apologies for keeping you so long," Kiryuu's father said smoothly. "My wife and I are eager to learn more about you, Issei. Aika rarely indulges my wife's curiosity of her social life. In fact, until recently we weren't even aware that our daughter had begun dating, much less that she had a boyfriend."

"Oh, well, you know," I said, reaching up and scratching my cheek with my free hand as I averted my eyes from his. "We wanted to keep it a secret."

"So I have heard." He regarded me like a shark sizing up its next meal. "Perhaps you'd like to join us for dinner tomorrow night?"

"I really co—" I bit down on a yelp as his grip tightened and my fingers felt like they were about to be crushed. "—ouldn't imagine anything I'd rather do!"

His grip loosened and I wasted no time in pulling my hand back, terrified that he'd have second thoughts.

Kiryuu's father turned toward her and a touch of warmth appeared on his face. "You never told me your boyfriend had such a strong grip on him," he said with a pleasant laugh, giving a faint shake of his hand.

I gaped at him in disbelief as my aching hand throbbed in protest. That… that lying bastard!

Kiryuu's mother lightly slapped her husband on the shoulder with a roll of her eyes. She stepped around him and toward me, before reaching down and gently clasping my hand between hers. "Are you alright," she asked, smiling at me kindly and began to rub her soft fingers over my sore ones. "Please don't hold it against him, he's an overprotective idiot," she said, merriment in her eyes.

I stared at her and felt my cheeks burn. I was suddenly pulled back by the scruff of the neck by an irritated Kiryuu. "That's enough of that," she said, before leaning in close and lowering her voice into a hiss of a whisper. "What are you doing?! This was supposed to be a one off thing!"

"What was I supposed to do? He put me on the spot! It was like he was going to kill me if I said no!" I hissed right back and grimaced as I rubbed my aching hand and did my best to put the thought of how soft her mother's hands were out of my mind.

Kiryuu's eyes narrowed. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't think of my mom like that you perv!" She whispered at me heatedly and slapped me on the shoulder.

I gave her an offended look. "Hey, she grabbed _my_ hand."

"If she knew what you'd done with it she wouldn't have, trust me," Kiryuu said with a roll of her eyes, before she nudged me and turned back to her parents, smiling. "Issei has to go now."

"I do?" I blinked. "Oh, right. Yes. I do," I agreed with a quick nod. I turned to her parents and smiled. "It was nice meeting you both!" I said politely and gave a respectful bow to my 'girlfriend's' parents.

"We should probably be going as well, right dear?" Kiryuu's mother asked, looking to her husband.

"Yes. It is about time. Come, Aika."

"Coming, daddy," Aika responded immediately, before she glanced back at me. She hesitated for a long moment, before she leaned up on her tippy toes and pecked me on the cheek.

I froze and could only watch as a pink cheeked Kiryuu joined her parents in their car.

Her mother gave me a friendly wave as they drove off while Kiryuu herself was looking everywhere but at me.

I stood there, and I would have continued to just stand there, except for the fact that I became aware that several dozen pairs of eyes were looking my way, and there was a lot of whispering going on.

I decided in that moment that discretion was the better part of valour, and made myself scarce.

I found myself wandering aimlessly through Kuoh with no fixed destination in mind. I had trouble even processing what had just happened—let alone the ramifications of what it meant.

By the time I had begun to come to my senses, dusk was well underway. The sky had been dyed a vivid orange. The clouds in the sky were tinged yellow and looked washed out all things considered. From the looks of it I still had at least an hour or two of daylight left.

More than enough time to wonder about the big questions like…

Did… did I actually have a girlfriend now?

The probable answer to that was no. No, because Kiryuu had asked me to go along with it to trick her parents, for some reason or another. She had intended me to just say yes and be on my way, though her father hadn't been willing to let that happen.

I absently rubbed my fingers.

They still hurt from how hard he had been squeezing.

What the heck had been his deal anyway? That totally wasn't anyway to greet your daughter's' fake-boyfriend!

I smiled despite myself.

Fake-boyfriend sounded right for several reasons.

The first being that it was Kiryuu Aika. So what if she was sort of cute, and her lips had felt soft against my cheek? Or the fact that her eyes were pretty when she took her glasses off? She was a giant pervert—and not the good god fearing kind like Matsuda, Motohama and I! She did weird things like perv on guys, rather than normal things like checking out chicks! Not only that but she had been routinely harassing me since we started at Kuoh Academy. I mean, sure, it may have been in response to some stuff that I and my friends did, but it was still uncalled for, right? She was totally in the wrong!

At least, that's what I wanted to think about her. In all honesty I was starting to have doubts about even that.

I stopped walking and shook my head. I reached up and gently slapped my cheeks, before taking a moment to look around and find out where I was.

From the looks of it, my wanderings had taken me through the city and halfway back out into the suburbs. I was standing on the footpath halfway across an overpass. I stepped over to the edge and leaned against it.

I looked over the edge and watched as the traffic sped by in both directions beneath me. A faint breeze blew by, rustling my school uniform and carrying the acrid smell of the car exhaust from down below.

"You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"Tell me about it," I complained on reflex, before blinking and looking toward the source of the voice.

A girl stood several feet away from me. She also had an amazing body. Slender with a wonderful pair of breasts that threatened to burst out of the lavender blouse she wore. She had long silky looking dark hair that fell to the middle of her back, a pair of large, expressive violet eyes, and pink, well-shaped lips that were currently curved in the shape of a small smile.

She looked… familiar. I was certain I had seen her somewhere before.

"Uh, hi," I said, catching myself before I stared at her too long. I replayed her words over in my head, before smiling. "It feels that way sometimes." I hesitated a moment before asking. "Do you go to Kuoh Academy?"

"That's a secret," she said, her voice teasing and gentle. She drew her hands behind her back, causing her breasts to push out. She stepped closer and smiled up at me. "Hi."

"Hi."

She giggled. "You said that already."

"I did?" I asked, blinking, before shaking my head and laughing. "I did. Sorry. I'm a bit out of it," I admitted. "Can, I uh, help you with anything?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No. But, maybe I can help you? I've been told I'm a good listener."

I looked down at the pretty girl in front of me, feeling a mixture of confusion and concern.

Was… was this a prank or something? I resisted the urge to look around to check if there were any hidden cameras or onlookers.

I could count the number of times a pretty girl had voluntarily walked up and started talking to me on a single hand—and most of those times they had been asking for directions.

I realized after several seconds that I hadn't said anything. "No-no I'm fine, thank you," I said, reaching up and scratching my cheek. "Just… girl troubles, I guess," I said, giving an awkward laugh and glancing away. "Hard to believe right?"

The girl in front of me tilted her head to the side and her eyes briefly roamed over my body, as if evaluating me. Whatever she saw, it caused her smile to brighten. "No, I don't think it is hard to believe at all. Is your girlfriend giving you trouble?"

My face scrunched up, and I turned toward the railing and leaned against it. "I don't even know if she is my girlfriend or not. This whole thing is confusing."

What was even more confusing was how… oddly at peace I was talking to the cute girl beside me. She was a straight ten in my books. In any other situation I was certain that I would have been blushing and stammering, but for some reason… I glanced at her.

"We girls are quite confusing," she said, her voice amicable. "Still, it definitely sounds like an odd situation." She reached over and gently touched me on my upper arm. "I'm sure it'll work itself out," she said kindly. "It was nice to meet you…?" she prompted me.

"Ah, sorry!" I said, flushing. "Hyoudou Issei, nice to meet you. What's your name?" I asked, smiling at her despite myself.

Her smile took on a mischievous quality. "That's also a secret," she said, teasing the words off her tongue and winking at me. "I'll see you again sometime, alright? Good luck with your girl trouble!" she said, giving a friendly wave, before she turned and began to run back toward the city.

I watched as she went, her skirt fluttering and lifting with every step, revealing the frilly white panties she wore beneath her thigh length dress.

I stared off in the direction that she had left in, even after she had vanished from sight.

Suddenly my phone buzzed to life in my pocket, snapping me out of my reverie. I pulled it out, fumbling as I accepted the call. "Hello?"

A voice came through from the other end of the call and my eyes widened. "Shi—Sorry! I'm sorry Shitori-senpai! I'll be right there!" I said in a panic and quickly ended the call. I turned in the opposite direction and broke out into a sprint, cursing wildly as I began to run home, where an irritable Student President awaited me.

By the time I arrived home I was drenched in sweat and my legs were aching. "I-I'm here!" I called out as I reached the front gate.

Sona stood by the front door with her school bag over one shoulder and a plain looking phone in the other hand. She looked much the same as she always did, even her signature stylish bob haircut was exactly the same. I swear, it was like magic or something! She looked up as I got closer, her purple eyes impassive as they regarded me. "Hello Hyoudou-san. You are late," she informed me.

"I'm so sorry!" I managed to say as I greedily gulped down air and reached up, wiping my sweat from my forehead. "There was this thing after school and I got so caught up in it that I completely forgot about your visit."

A ghost of a smile passed over Sona's lips and she casually reached up, adjusting her glasses. "Yes, I have heard. You had a meeting with Kiryuu-san's parents."

I stiffened, before giving a nervous laugh. "Y-you heard about that?" I asked.

"I believe the whole school has been made aware," Sona said. "You and Kiryuu-san were not discrete, and the students have keen hearing when it comes to gossip." She paused, and a serious look overcame her features. "I will be most displeased if I am told of any liaisons between you and Kiryuu-san on school property. Indecent behaviour is forbidden on Kuoh Academy grounds, is that understood?"

I found myself at a loss for words.

Gossip travelled at the speed of light—I knew that much. Did that mean that everyone at school thought that we were actually dating? I had no idea how I was supposed to feel about that!

We weren't even really dating… right? Kiryuu didn't even like me!

Or… or what if she secretly did?

What if this entire thing had been a ploy to trick me into agreeing to be her boyfriend in front of the whole school?!

What if—

"Shall we go inside?" Sona suggested politely, putting a stop to my runaway thoughts before they well and truly left the station.

"Oh, right!" I said, and gave her a sheepish smile before stepping past her and unlocking the door and stepping inside.

Sona followed behind me, her eyes surveying the entryway briefly, before I lead her toward the lounge room, as had become standard. She briefly glanced toward the staircase, before continuing on with me. The moment we stepped through the doorway I was bombarded with the sound of the television—or to be more specific, of the game that was currently paused on the television screen.

The culprit thankfully, was nowhere to be seen. I had no idea how I'd explain something like Yuri to someone normal like Sona.

"Sorry," I said to Sona as we entered the lounge room. "I must have forgotten to turn it off before I left for school."

"Videogames before school?" Sona asked, giving me a disapproving look as she sat down in her usual spot.

I shrugged a shoulder. "I got up earlier than usual and had time to kill," I lied and sat down opposite her.

Sona reached into her satchel-style school bag and drew out a folder from which she took out several sheets. She leafed through them, before nodding to herself and looking up at me. "Thank you for being patient," Sona said. "I'd like to begin by telling you that I have been content with your progress over the past few weeks." She looked down at a sheet of paper. "Your teachers have been pleased by your level of participation in class as well as your general demeanour toward classwork. Your attendance is satisfactory." She paused and looked up at me, over the rims of her glasses. "Besides a single instance of delinquency."

"It wasn't my fault," I pointed out.

"Yes. I am aware of the circumstances you've claimed," she said, looking back down at the sheet. "There have also been no complaints issued against you since your parents departed. In total, there have been no real areas of concern. It is quite surprising, taking all things into consideration."

I smiled at that and felt pleased. Besides that incident with Motohama and the swimming club I'd been good! I'd given up peeping on the kendo club and even casually waiting at the bottom of the stairs for girls to go up on ahead! At this point I was surely halfway toward sainthood.

Wait.

"What do you mean by 'taking all things into consideration'?" I asked.

Sona set the papers she held aside and folded her hands upon her lap. "If I may be blunt, it is nearly unheard of for a troubled student to show marked improvement when their parental figures are absent," she said to me, her tone practically conversational. "Despite all the data that suggests your behaviour should degrade further, the opposite has occurred. I am both fascinated and delighted."

Sona sat there, her expression as calm and collected as ever, her hands folded upon her lap.

Was… that sarcasm?

She certainly didn't look delighted.

She looked as though she were discussing the weather—or perhaps watching paint dry.

Aha! I saw the corners of her lips turn upward by a fraction of a degree, an action that one could charitably call a smile.

"May I be impertinent as to assume that your change in behaviour is due to the document that I had you sign?"

It took me several seconds to remember what she was talking about. "Oh, right," I said. "I signed something, didn't I?"

I remembered more the meaning behind the meeting than the actual contents of it. The document had said something about shaping up or being asked to transfer from Kuoh, or at least something like that. It had been shocking at the time, but that shock had faded, even if the idea of improving myself in the eyes of others hadn't—especially when a few days later a certain silver haired maid had suggested something to similar effect.

A pensive look crossed Sona's face, and her gaze briefly lowered from mine. She remained like that for several long seconds, before her eyebrows rose a fraction and she looked back up to me. "Could it be that your change in demeanour and improved performance in school is related to your desire to join the Student Council?"

"That was a part of it," I said honestly. "It's not the whole reason I've been trying to be better, but I'm not going to pretend that it isn't important to me." It also helped that for the past several weeks I'd been plundering the souls of people whose desires had overcome them, and could see first hand where that route lead.

This time Sona did smile. She nodded, taking my words at their face value. "I see. Then allow me to both reward you, and further strengthen your conviction toward become an ideal student. On Saturday, after school has finished, the Student Council will be holding a meeting regarding an upcoming event that is being held at the school."

I blinked rapidly, before my eyebrows rose. "Wait, are you—?"

Sona smiled. "Would you be interested in attending and observing the meeting? As a normal student your feedback would certainly be invaluable, and it would give you a chance to meet and get to know some of the other members."

"Yes!" I said instantly, beaming brightly at the pretty girl in front of me. "That would be awesome!"

An invitation to a private meeting involving half a dozen of the hottest girls in school? Sign me the hell up!

"Delightful. I will make preparations for your involvement."

It was at that point that my stomach decided to announce both its presence and its displeasure at the lack of food inside it. I flushed and gave an awkward laugh. "Uh, you hungry, Shitori-senpai? I don't have much, but I do have some udon if you're interested, as a sort of celebration, I guess?"

Any semblance of expression drained from Sona's face, until her features were perfectly neutral. "Udon, you say? I suppose I am a bit famished from waiting," she said.

I tried not to let the sudden shift in expression disturb me. "It won't take long," I reassured her and stood up. "Feel free to use the television, or play the game if you want," I said. I could have sworn I heard a very faint muffled protest from upstairs, but paid it no mind.

"Please, take your time," Sona said with a polite smile.

I left her alone in the lounge room and headed to the kitchen. I filled the kettle up to the brim with water and set it to boil. I began to hum to myself as I walked over to the pantry and pulled out two bowls of Instant Udon that had arrived with the week's grocery delivery.

I tore open the packaging and began to prepare the delicious sodium enriched Udon. As soon as the kettle finished boiling I took it off the element and quickly filled the bowls up to the indicated marker, before carefully resealing them and setting the timer on the oven for several minutes.

I leaned against the cabinet and relaxed, only to frown several seconds later.

I felt like I was forgetting something.

"Ah!" I shook my head before leaning over and calling out to Sona in the lounge room, "Would you like some tea as well?"

There were several seconds of lingering silence.

"A-ah, no. I am fine, thank you Hyoudou-san," Sona said from the lounge room.

I may have been imagining it, but she sounded a bit flustered.

"Pssst."

I closed my eyes.

I definitely must be imagining things.

"Psssssst!"

Definitely imagining things.

I knew that this had to be the case, because there was no way that Yuri was dumb enough to come down from my room while Sona was one room over, and there was certainly no way that Yuri had quietly crept along the floor like some sort of secret agent and climbed her way up onto the table in front of me.

"Issei stop ignoring me!"

So, since I was definitely imagining things, when I opened my eyes, Yuri wouldn't be standing in front of me with her hands on her hips and her cheeks puffed out in irritation.

I slowly opened my eyes.

Yuri stood on the table in front of me, her wings wrapped around her like a cloak. Though her hands weren't on her hips, and her cheeks weren't puffed out.

Instead she was glaring at me, and her hands were balled up into tight fists that were shaking ineffectually at her sides as she stomped against the wooden table beneath her, resulting in a series of noticeable thuds.

"Stop it!" I whispered to her harshly, reaching over and trying to grab her.

She danced backwards out of my reach and thrust a finger toward me. "You better not let her mess with my game!" she said heatedly. "I worked really hard to get as high level as I am!"

I rolled my eyes. "She's the student council president, Yuri. I doubt she even knows how to play a video game."

"Oh." Yuri blinked and immediately her indignation and anger deflated. She reached up from beneath her wings and scratched her cheek, glancing away from me. "…save me some udon?" she asked, glancing back at me hopefully.

"I'll make you a whole bowl just for you if you get back to my room," I told her dryly.

"Deal!" Yuri said loudly, before wincing and giving me a sheepish look. She brought her hand up to the side of her mouth and whispered. "Deal?"

I rolled my eyes and nodded, before making a shooing gesture with my hands.

Yuri beamed at me and gave a half-assed salute before she turned and ran toward the opposite end of the table. She launched herself off the edge and unfurled her wings. I watched as she silently glided down to the floor and began to quietly hum the Mission Impossible theme as she 'stealthily' made her way back upstairs.

If I was being honest I still wasn't entirely certain that I wasn't imagining things.

It would certainly make more sense than reality, at any rate.

The kitchen timer went off and I jumped into motion, peeling off the aluminium top from the Instant Udon and giving them a quick stir through to both loosen the noodles and mix through the broth.

I grabbed a serving tray and carefully placed both of the udon bowls on it, along with some utensils and the usual elements.

I picked the tray up and made my way back to the lounge room. "Udon's ready," I said as I entered the lounge room with a smile, only to have it falter as I found myself faced with something truly bizarre.

Sona sat in the exact same spot that I had left her.

Except there was a certain key difference. That difference laid in her hands. In her hands she held a certain game controller.

She looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Her pretty violet eyes were wide as they stared up at me in surprise. Her cupid bow lips were parted slightly—but on her they may as well have been gaping.

To highlight the absurdity of seeing Sona holding a game controller the television let out a series of screams and moans of pain as the character that Sona was controlling abruptly died as several dozen machine lifeforms piled on top of it.

I blinked.

Sona blinked.

I smiled. "Hungry?"

Sona's cheeks tinged a very faint pink. She carefully put the controller down beside her and folded her hands upon her lap. "Yes," she said, before rising.

She took several steps toward me, before she stiffened again.

"What… is this?" she asked, her voice somehow strained.

I followed her gaze to the tray I held in my hands.

"Just the Udon," I said with a smile.

"Instant Udon…" Sona said and her eyes lifted up from the two steaming bowls on the tray until they met mine.

"Uh, is that okay?" I asked, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

Sona's lips pressed together into a thin line. She quietly inhaled through her nose, before she breathed out through her lips. I watched a small amount of tension leave her.

"We will see."

I backpedalled and forced a strained smile onto my lips. "I also have some fresh fruit if you—"

"I will have the Udon," Sona said firmly, leaving no room for negotiation as she walked out of the lounge room and over toward the dining table.

I reluctantly followed.

Why did it suddenly feel like I had triggered a bad end flag?

I set the serving tray down on the dining table as Sona sat down. I carefully lifted the bowl and set it in front of her along with a set of chopsticks and a soup spoon.

I did the same in front of my own seat, before sitting down and smiling. "It isn't much, but I hear this one is pretty good," I said.

Sona nodded with a polite smile, before she lifted up her chopsticks. "Itadakimasu," she said, before beginning to eat.

I mumbled the same, before picking up my chopsticks and digging in, plucking several strands of udon and bringing them up to my mouth. I blew on them lightly, before slurping them up and savouring the strong umami flavour.

I began to chew and as I did, I glanced over at Sona.

She had an intense look on her face as she slurped up her own udon, using her chopsticks to precisely control the noodles. It was fascinating, hearing such an undignified sound coming from such a pretty girl. Even more fascinating was the range of small changes in her normally well controlled expression. A faint crease of the eyebrow here, a small flare of the nose there.

She set her chopsticks down, before picking up the soup spoon and sampling the broth. Her brow creased and her tongue briefly slipped out, licking her lips before having another spoonful.

I was so caught up in watching the intricate dance of expression on her face that before I realized it, she had finished eating, and I had barely touched my now cooled udon.

Sona picked up a napkin from the serving tray and delicately dabbed her lips, before setting it aside and turning her violet gaze onto me.

"Uh, how was it?" I asked despite myself.

Sona considered my question for a moment. "The soup was tepid in flavour, with an overly embellished note of soy that clouded the taste of the kombu. The noodles had the consistency of rubber and lacked the slippery feel of well-made udon. The condiments, while strong in flavour, lacked restraint and overpowered the already precarious flavours within the broth. However, while it is far from the best udon I have ever had, it is certainly not the worst." She paused. "How was yours?"

I glanced down at the mostly full bowl in front of me and felt my cheeks burn faintly. "Uh… I agree with what you said," I told her, setting my chopsticks down.

Sona nodded acceptingly. "Still," she said, setting down her napkin. "Thank you for the meal." She looked down at her empty disposable bowl, before her gaze turned to mine. "Do you rely on instant food a lot, Hyoudou-san?" she asked, looking up to me as she did.

There was no judgement in her question, merely curiosity. All the same, I found myself hesitant to answer.

"I thought so."

"No, no." I shook my head. "I mean, if I'm feeling lazy I do, you know? But I can cook as well!" That was only mostly a lie. "My parents left me a recipe book or two and I've been trying my hand at making stuff from them when I have free time. I even made curry the other day," I said to her with a smile.

That part wasn't a lie. I had made curry. It had been far from the best thing I'd ever eaten—and Yuri refused to leave my room because of the smell—but it had certainly been filling!

Sona regarded me for a moment, before nodding to herself. "I have decided."

"Decided?"

"I shall instruct you on how to make udon," Sona informed me, as she reached up and adjusted her glasses. "By the time I am finished you will be able to prepare udon fit for royalty."

I stared at her in surprise.

Sona raised a thin eyebrow. "Do you decline my culinary tutelage?"

"N-no, no!" I said quickly, shaking my head. "It's just, I'm surprised, you know? I didn't realize you knew how to make it. I'd love it if you taught me how to make udon, Shitori-senpai!" I said eagerly.

Sona looked pleased. "Very well. I shall make the appropriate preparations," she said and stood up smoothly. "Thank you again for the meal, Hyoudou-san. But I should be going, it is getting late."

"Right," I said, standing up myself and stepping around the table.

I walked Sona back to the lounge room to collect her bag before heading to the front door. I opened it for her with a bright smile.

The sky was beginning to darken, and the sun was in the middle of setting, in a few minutes it would be night time. It dampened my good mood noticeably. I had wanted to offer to walk Sona home, like a gentleman would. But, if I was outside when the sun set fully, I'd find myself whisked into the World of Desire, and that would be next to impossible to explain without sounding crazy.

Sona stepped through the doorway, clutching the strap of her school bag as she did. She stopped and turned around to face me. "I will contact you during school hours regarding both the council meeting that you will be attending, as well as future plans for your culinary education, Hyoudou-san," she said to me, before giving a polite nod of the head. "Have a good evening."

"Have a good night, Shitori-senpai," I said to her with a smile. "Thank you for taking the time to come visit as always."

The dark haired girl nodded to me once more, before she turned and left.

I watched her as she walked down the footpath and shut the gate behind her, before turning and walking out of sight. I waited for several seconds before closing the door and heading back inside.

"She's gone," I called out to Yuri upstairs, before making my way to the kitchen to finish off the udon I hadn't eaten.

Or, at least that had been the plan. My udon, unfortunately was in the middle of being devoured by a ravenous winged beast.

Yuri looked up at me, her eyes wide in surprise as I entered the kitchen. She was kneeling beside my bowl of udon and had a long noodle sticking out of her mouth. She blinked once, before she inhaled the remainder of the udon noodle with a loud slurp.

It was both impressive and disturbing to watch, as the noodle she had devoured had probably been about half as long as she was tall.

Yuri burped and reached up, wiping her mouth and giving me a cheeky smile. "You snooze you lose!" She declared, before reaching into the soup and pulling up another noodle to consume.

"You know I was going to make you a fresh bowl, right? Udon tastes best when it's still warm."

Yuri shrugged a shoulder. "Food tastes best when you take it from other people," she said. "Theft adds flavor!" She gave me a bright smile before she dived back into the bowl and greedily began to drink the soup.

I laughed and shook my head, before picking up the empty styrofoam bowl that Sona had used and tossing it in the trash. "I'll keep that in mind for the next time I buy you candy," I said, before sitting down in the chair and watching the miniature girl happily consume my dinner.

Yuri stopped and swallowed, before turning her head to look at me. "What I meant to say, is food tastes better if you steal it from Issei," she told me, utterly serious. "If you were to steal food from me it'd taste really bad, because I'm cute, and you'd make me cry."

"Somehow I think I'd be able to go on living despite that," I said, my tone dry. I picked up the chopsticks I had set down earlier and used them to pluck some noodles from the bowl, ignoring Yuri's protest.

Sona's visit had gone well, I mused as I began to eat. She'd said good things about school—plus I'd been invited to sit in on a student council meeting! Me alone in a room filled with cute girls? I was so ready for that! Not only that, but she'd also offered to spend some one on one time teaching me how to make udon! I bet no other guy in school could claim anything remotely similar!

I couldn't have stopped the smile forming on my lips even if I had tried.

It was practically a date!

I wondered where it'd take place—maybe she'd invite me over to her place? I'd never been invited to a girls place before. Would her parents be home? Maybe it'd just be the two of us! Maybe… maybe it'd even be laundry day and all she'd have to wear would be an apron?!

"…Issei you've got a weird look on your face," Yuri said, giving me an odd look.

I coughed, bringing a hand up to briefly cover my mouth and took a moment to get my facial features under control.

Okay, maybe I had let my imagination get the better of me, but it was my imagination right? I could do anything I wanted to whoever I wanted in my own mind! Even if that involved a naked apron.

No.

 _Especially_ if it involved a naked apron.

A sudden thought occurred to me.

Was it considered cheating if I fantasized about other girls when I had a fake girlfriend?

What a frightening thought.

Even more frightening was the fact that I had a dinner date with Kiryuu and her parent's tomorrow night! Where and when I had no clue, but I assumed she'd tell me first thing at school.

I frowned and folded my arms across my chest.

I still didn't understand why Kiryuu had decided to call me her boyfriend to her parents. If it were me then it would be a simple case of boasting, or trying to impress my parents or friend. Yet… I somehow knew that this wasn't the case.

Her parents had mentioned that Kiryuu kept her social life a secret, maybe that was it? They were pestering her and she decided to use me to get them off her back? If that wasn't ego bolstering I don't know what was!

No. That didn't sound quite right either.

Honestly, the only way to find out for sure would be to question Kiryuu directly. But if she was willing to tell me the reason, wouldn't she have been up front with it? I knew from past experience that trying to get a girl to tell you something they didn't want to, was only slightly less difficult than squeezing water out of a rock.

I sighed.

It was a shame that I couldn't…

I blinked.

Or could I?

There was no way someone as perverted as Kiryuu didn't have a shadow! If someone like Matsuda had one, then definitely someone was lewd and degenerate as Kiryuu would have one! All I'd have to do is find her demesne and I'd be able to question her shadow directly—and the best part is that Kiryuu would never even realize! People never knew what was going on within their demesnes!

The only issue would be finding it, an act that was next to impossible if I wasn't at the entrance to her Shadow's lair. The World of Desire was practically endless and uniform in colour. While certain areas seemed to match up with Kuoh, a lot of it was just… weird and made no sense.

Yuri let out a loud burp and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Udon is the best!" She exclaimed, before she noticed that I was looking at her. "What?"

I stared down at the blonde haired girl for a long moment, absently noting that she'd finished off the entirety of the udon bowl—impressive and technically impossible considering that its volume had far surpassed her own.

I took a moment to consider my question before I asked it.

"Yuri, I've never asked before, but could you find a specific person's demesne? Most of the time we just go to the closest one with a Shard, but if I wanted to go to someone in particular, could we do it?"

Yuri leaned back, propping herself up with her hands as she considered my question. "I guess?"

"You guess," I repeated, my brow furrowing. "Can you or can't you?"

"I can," Yuri said, nodding after a moment. "But I'd have to get close to the person so I can get a taste for their desire. If I do that then I can definitely find them in the other world."

I beamed. "Awesome. Then how would you like to go for a trip to school with me tomorrow?" I asked and leaned forward, resting my head atop my arms, on the table.

Yuri considered for a moment. "No," she said, bluntly.

"What, why?" I asked, surprised.

The tiny blonde girl smiled up at me. "I have conditions," she said. "I don't work for free, you know? I'm not that sorta girl! If you want my services, you gotta pay me!"

I scowled.

Letting her have unlimited access to the television had been a giant mistake.

"What do you want?" I asked suspiciously, sitting up straight.

"I want candy!"

"Okay."

"And I want a new game!"

I frowned. "…Games are expensive Yuri."

"So am I!" she said impetuously. "I want candy, games and… and…" She struggled to come up with a third thing.

"Candy and Games," I said. "Deal."

"Hey! I wasn't finished!" Yuri protested, pushing herself up onto her feet and pouting at me.

"So you don't want candy and a new game to play?" I asked her innocently.

"I do, but I also want other stuff!" Yuri insisted.

I grimaced. "I don't have a lot of money to spend Yuri," I told her with a wince. "Money doesn't grow on trees—trust me. I tried to buy something called a money tree once. It was a total scam."

"Then get money!" Yuri said stubbornly.

"I'm trying," I said with an annoyed look down at the bratty winged girl. "But it's hard getting a job, you know? No one wants to hire a high school student and the places that do already have a dozen part timers on call already."

Yuri began to pace back and forth on the table top. Her wings drawn back into more of a long cape, rather than her usual cloak and showed off her pink polka dot bikini. A bikini that I had bought with money that I had scraped together from between the sofa cushions and other less than sanitary places.

Yuri stopped pacing and turned toward me. "If you had enough money, you'd buy me whatever I want, right?" she asked, her tone serious and her expression equally so.

"Absolutely," I said, humouring her for the moment. "If I didn't have to worry about money I'd buy you everything under the sun."

Yuri smiled brightly up at me. "Okay!" she said, "I'll help you!"

My shoulders slumped in relief. "Awesome," I said, smiling back at her. "Tomorrow I'll bring you to school and show you who I want you to find, does that sound okay?"

Yuri blinked, before she frowned and gave me a suspicious look. "I thought I wasn't allowed to go to school?"

"I'll keep you hidden, maybe in my bag?" I suggested.

"Yuck! Your bag smells awful!"

"…How do you know what my bag smells like?"

"…Never mind," Yuri said with a forced laugh and waved her hand. She clasped her hands behind her back and smiled up at me brightly. "Can we play? I got up to this really cool looking boss and I wanted to show you!"

"Uh… sure…" I said, averting my eyes.

Yuri stared at me for a long moment, before her eyes widened. "N-No! D-don't tell me?!"

She leapt off the table and her wings carried her into the lounge room.

Several seconds passed, before a scream of outrage tore through the house. "I hadn't saved in over an hour! I-I'll kill you Issei!" Yuri howled from the other room.

I winced.

I was going to have to buy her a lot of candy to make up for Sona getting her character killed, wasn't I?

—~—


	9. Book One: Chapter Nine

—~—

"Yuri, quit moving around so much," I whispered harshly over my shoulder.

The feeling of rustling inside my bag stopped briefly, before I heard the sound of the zipper being drawn back.

A tiny head of shaggy blonde hair popped out from the top of my bag with a glower. "It stinks in here!" Yuri said irritably. "I can barely breathe!"

"It's not that bad," I said with a frown. "I mean, sure I forgot my lunch from a few weeks ago, but still."

"Can't I just keep my head out?" Yuri asked, her tone desperate. "I promise I'll go back in if anyone looks my way, okay?"

I weighed up risks versus the reward.

"Alright," I relented, deciding that the reward of her not whining outweighed the risk of her being seen. Worst case I'd say I brought a doll to school and get weird looks for a day or two.

"You're the best Issei!" Yuri said.

I felt her shift around a bit more before getting comfortable.

"So," she began to say. "What does this Aika girl look like?"

I considered the question for a moment.

"I guess she's kind of cute?" I said. "She's got brown hair that's usually in pigtails. She wears glasses and has green eyes." I began to think back. "She's a bit skinny, oh, and she has b-cup breasts." I nodded to myself thoughtfully. I could picture her in my mind with perfect accuracy, right down to those sleepy eyes and the lewd smirk she'd sometimes get.

"…So you think she's cute?" Yuri asked, her tone suspicious.

"Not as cute as you, of course," I said smoothly, flashing Yuri a smile over my shoulder.

"Good answer," Yuri said, pleased, before changing the subject. "So, why are we doing this again?"

"Because I want to know what's going on," I admitted unabashedly. "This is weirdly out of character for Kiryuu."

"Are you worried about her?"

"What? No!" I protested, shaking my head. "No, I'm just curious," I insisted. "If anything I'm more worried about myself."

I heard the zipper close and a second later I understood why.

"You!"

I found myself confronted by two very irate looking Kuoh students.

"How could you betray us like this!" Matsuda demanded to know, his hands set firmly on his hips as he stood in front of me, blocking my way.

Beside him Motohama glared at me, his glasses glinting in the early morning sunlight. "You… this… you were supposed to become a wizard Issei! How… how could you do this to me?!" He said with barely restrained outrage.

I blinked rapidly. "What are you guys talking about exactly?" I asked, unable to quite comprehend their indignation.

Motohama pointed a finger at me. "Don't try to deny it! Everyone's talking about it! You've gone against everything we've ever believed in! You've gone to the dark side, with _her_!"

And just like that everything became clear.

"You're angry because you think I'm dating Kiryuu?" I asked incredulously, before blinking. "Wait, are you angry because I got a girlfriend before either of you, or because it's Kiryuu?"

"Both!" Matsuda said in frustration. "I've been turning my life around and everything! I've even gotten some of the track team girls numbers! This isn't fair! I was supposed to be the cool one with a girlfriend first!" he complained.

These… these bastards! They were actually upset that I managed to get a girlfriend before either of them! What the hell?! They were supposed to be happy for me—never mind the fact that it wasn't even real!

I swallowed my irritation and forced a smirk onto my lips as I stepped forwards and reached out, clapping both of them on the shoulder as I passed through between them. "Sorry boys, what can I say? Aika and I connected on an _intimate_ level."

Motohama made a choking sound. "S-so it is true," he said, his voice shaking. "T-then… what about boy's night?" He asked, turning toward me. "Y-you're still coming over right?"

I blinked, and inwardly cursed.

Shit! It was Friday, I'd made plans with Matsuda and Motohama for tonight, hadn't I? I'd completely forgotten about it with the whole girlfriend commotion!

I winced and turned back toward them, reaching up and scratching my cheek. "I uh, sort of have a date with Kiryuu and her parents," I said apologetically.

"T-traitor!"

"I… I don't even know you any more man…"

I rolled my eyes. "Stop being so melodramatic," I said. "I'll give you guys a call afterward and if you're still around I'll come over, alright?"

Motohama sniffed. "P-promise?"

I stared at him for a long moment, before sighing. "Promise."

"…So, how was it?" Matsuda asked suddenly, a perverted grin forming on his lips.

How was… Oh! Right! They thought Kiryuu and I had done it!

"A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell," I said and turned continuing on toward school.

"H-hey! You can't do this to us! I need to live vicariously through you!" Motohama protested as he hurried after me.

By the time we arrived at school, Motohama had begrudgingly accepted that I wasn't going to give either him or Matsuda the juicy details of the non-existent kinky things that Kiryuu and I had gotten up to. Instead he had taken to quizzing me over things we had or hadn't done—things that I had been very pointedly not thinking about for the sake of being able to look Kiryuu in the eye without blushing.

She was like a shark.

She could practically smell the perversion in the air, even if you kept a straight face.

I saw Kiryuu for the first time in roll call, and she was making a concerted effort in pretending that I didn't exist—not that I said hello or anything. As I sat down in my seat I could hear whispers from the girls in our class. Mostly heated speculation over whether we were or weren't dating.

I casually drew my bag up onto my lap and leaned down and whispered. "That's her over there," into the top of it as I unzipped it and carefully pulled my schoolwork out.

Yuri poked her tiny head out and looked. "Oh… she's kind of cute," she said, before letting out a muffled protest as I pushed her back down and zipped up my bag, dropping it down to the ground.

"…Did you hear something?" Someone said from behind me and I barely held in a wince, mentally berating Yuri for being unable to be quiet.

The teacher soon arrived and through some miracle I made it all the way to the end of the day with Yuri being quiet—though I was under no disillusion that I wouldn't pay for it later.

I grabbed my bag from beneath my chair and unzipped it, carefully putting my books in, all the while enduring a glower from the tiny girl that had been stuck in it for the past several hours. Oh yes. I was going to be rueing this day for a long time to come, I just knew it. But it would be worth it, to find out the truth behind Kiryuu's strange request.

I watched as the girl in question suddenly stood up from her desk and turned toward me. Our eyes made contact and she walked over. "We need to talk," Kiryuu said plainly.

The whispers that had died down earlier came back full force, and I saw a visible twitch of Kiryuu's eye. "Come on, _loverboy_. Let's go somewhere private to have a chat."

"Alright," I said, keeping a straight face as I felt several eyes turn toward me for my answer.

I grabbed my bag and smoothly stood up, before swinging it over my shoulder—getting several irate thumps on my back in the process—and following Kiryuu as she turned and left the classroom. I followed her out into the hallway, down a stairwell and outside and around to a… rather secluded corner of the main building.

"Uh, you know," I said as Kiryuu stopped and turned to face me. "This is the place where—"

"People make out, I know," Kiryuu said dryly, setting a hand on her hip. "I figured no one would bother us if they saw us come here."

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

Kiryuu glowered at me for a moment, before she sighed. "I can't even be angry with you. I'm the one who dragged you in front of everyone and said it," she said, groaning and pressing her hand against her forehead. "I just wanted to get my parents off my back, not trick the whole school into thinking we were dating!" she whined. "This is the worst! I've had girls badgering me all day about you!"

"H-hey it's not like I've had it much better! Motohama and Matsuda have been pestering me about what we've gotten up to all morning!"

Kiryuu blinked, before a sly smirk overcame her lips. She stepped closer. "Oh, and what did you tell them? Something juicy maybe?" she asked, as she intruded into my personal space.

"N-no, of course not!" I denied and held my ground, even as she got up close—close enough that I could smell the scent of the shampoo she had used—something fruity and enticing.

Kiryuu's eyes looked into mine searchingly for several long seconds before she relented and stepped back. She blinked and glanced over my shoulder. "What's that?" she asked, and before I could do, or say anything, she reached up and into my bag.

My eyes widened in panic. "Ah—nothing!" I said quickly, trying to stop her.

But it was too late.

Kiryuu's hand pulled away, and inside her grip was Yuri who—by some miracle had gone absolutely still, despite being manhandled.

Kiryuu let out a laugh. "A doll, really, Hyoudou? You surprise me. I didn't think you'd sink this… woah! She feels so real," she said, her eyebrows rising up in surprise.

I winced as I watched her poke and prod at Yuri, even going as far as to tug the cups of her bikini and taking a peek underneath. "The detail and the feel! It even feels warm to touch," she said, fascinated. She reached down toward Yuri's skirt.

"H-hey! That's enough of that!" I said, reaching over and quickly and carefully pulling Yuri from the deviant's hands. I clutched Yuri possessively to my chest, causing Kiryuu to blink, and then laugh again.

"Surprisingly lifelike," she said, giving me an amused look and absently rubbing her the fingers that had touched Yuri together. "You should tell me where you bought it. I'd love one of my own," she admitted, before shaking her head and holding out her hand. "Your phone?"

"Why?" I asked suspiciously.

Kiryuu rolled her eyes. "So, I can give you my number and the restaurant details, you dork. What, do you think I'm going to try and finger your phone as well?"

I flushed despite myself. "…Anything sounds stupid when you say it like that," I said petulantly and reached into my pocket with the hand not holding Yuri, before handing over my phone.

Kiryuu took it from my hand and began to rapidly press buttons. She paused and glanced up at me. "I'd better not get any dick pics from you, Hyoudou," she said. "Otherwise I'm sending them to the whole school, got it?"

"I'd never!" I protested and took my bag off my shoulder and carefully slipped Yuri back inside, ignoring the glower she sent me as she vanished inside.

Kiryuu blinked in surprise and looked up at me. "Really? Why not, lack confidence?"

I found myself at a loss for words. "N-No, it's just the… thought never occurred to me," I admitted awkwardly, before actually considering it. "Do you get a lot of dick pics?" I asked her after a moment.

"Too many," Kiryuu said, smirking at me and tossing my phone toward me. "Be there at eight sharp, alright? And dress nicely. If everything goes according to plan this'll be over before either of us has our reputation damaged by the other, alright?" She reached up and flicked one of her hair braids over her shoulder.

Damage our reputations, huh? According to what I'd been hearing all morning, the opposite was happening. I'd overheard people wondering about the reason Kiryuu had decided to date me—some even going as far to quietly, and begrudgingly acknowledge my good points. The same things had been going around for Kiryuu as well, though to a lesser extent due to the sheer disparity between the number of girls and guys in our class.

"It's not so bad, is it?" I asked, and immediately regretting doing so.

Kiryuu stared at me openly, before her face split with a large smile and her eyes widened with a mixture of surprise and glee. "Could it be that you're falling for me, Hyoudou?"

"What?! No!" I denied instantly, shaking my head. "I was just thinking that it was doing the opposite of what you said! I've had tons of girls looking my way since I got to school! You've had a lot of guys checking you out as well, right?"

Kiryuu scoffed. "You say that like it's something I'd want. The boys at this school are a joke! Most of them only joined the school because of how many girls are here," she pointed out.

I gave a nervous laugh and averted my eyes. "Really? Ha, what idiots."

"You aren't fooling anyone, Hyoudou," Kiryuu said dryly, shaking her head. "At least you and your friends were honest about it, you know?" She set her hand on her hip again. "I admire that about you. You don't try and hide your desire behind a fake smile or anything. If a girl talks to you they know exactly what they're getting into."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

Kiryuu smiled at me.

I smiled back at her.

"Ahem."

Our smiles vanished in an instant and we both turned toward the source of the interruption.

"Hello," Yuuto Kiba said, a charming and apologetic smile on his lips. "I apologise If I'm interrupting anything, but I was hoping I could talk to Issei-kun for a moment?"

"No. You weren't interrupting anything," Kiryuu said easily, and took the chance to step away from me. "See you tonight, alright Hyoudou? Any issues text me." She waved a hand at me half-heartedly before she slipped past Kiba and fled from the alcove we had been standing in.

"…Bye." I said to thin air.

"Sorry," Kiba apologised again as he stepped toward me, his blue eyes glancing around. "Isn't this where—"

"Yes, yes, it is, and no. We weren't doing anything," I said, my tone surprising me with how irritable it was. "What did you need Kiba?" I asked him.

"I wanted to tell you that I wouldn't be able to make it to our usual practice this afternoon." He paused. "Something important has come up with the Occult Research Club and I need to help out. I hope it's not too much of an inconvenience for you."

I blinked.

Oh. Right.

I was supposed to practice with Kiba today as well, wasn't I?

I was quickly beginning to lose track of my obligations and the things I had said I'd do. First there was kendo practice with Kiba, then I had a movie marathon with Matsuda and Motohama—not to mention the dinner with Kiryuu and her parents.

"No, no that's fine. That works out well for me," I admitted, before pausing. "So… what exactly counts as something important for the Occult Research Club?" I asked, my lips quirking into a smile. "Did someone spot a ghost?"

Kiba laughed. "Nothing so exciting unfortunately. A friend of Buchou's family warned us about a stray animal that's been sighted in the city. They were hoping we'd be able to track it down before anything bad happened."

"That's nice of you guys," I said, surprised. "But isn't that usually a job for animal catchers?"

"They are trying to save face, I imagine," Kiba said easily. "Nothing gets you bad publicity like an animal trying to bite someone's face off, you know?"

I nodded with sympathy. I'd run into a stray dog once. It had been a vicious thing. It had chased me up a tree.

Coincidentally, that was the day that I learned how to climb a tree.

"Thanks for the heads up either way," I said, giving the handsome blonde a smile. "Maybe next Monday? I think I'm finally getting the hang of using a sword."

"You're improving," Kiba said with a nod. "But you've definitely got a long way to go before you're ready for something like a real fight."

Oh, poor naïve Kiba. I was more than ready. Truth be told I was holding back on you! If only you could see the amount of ass I was kicking every night, you'd be shocked!

"Good luck with finding the stray," I said to him. "Don't get rabies, okay?"

Kiba blinked, before laughing. "I will do my best," he said, before turning and leaving.

I waited several long seconds, and glanced around one last time, making sure the coast was clear, before I unzipped my bag.

"The coast is—"

A silver and blonde blur rushed out from the top of my bag. "That was the worst!" Yuri cried as she took to the air and within seconds I found myself being assaulted by the tiny flying blonde. "Issei, you're the worst! I can't believe I let you talk me into this!"

I brought my arms up to protect my face as Yuri wasted no time in punching and kicking me as hard as her limbs could manage, which, considering her size was surprisingly painful.

"I'm sorry!"

"No! You'll be sorry when I'm through with you!" she shouted indignantly as she continued to punch and kick my arms. "Not only did you stuff me in that stinky bag, but you watched as that girl touched me! I hate you!"

I winced, half from the continued assault, the other half from guilt. "I _am_ sorry Yuri," I said to her, bracing myself as I lowered my arms, and immediately receiving a kick to the cheek. "Ow!" I reached up and sullenly rubbed my aching cheek.

Yuri huffed and folded her arms across her chest. "You deserve worse," she muttered, giving me an angry, indignant look.

I gave her a apologetic smile and lowered my hand from my cheek. "I'm sorry," I repeated. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"You better!"

"I will," I said, before waiting several seconds. "So, did you get what you needed?" I couldn't resist asking.

Yuri perked up. "I did! It's close by as well!"

My eyebrows rose in surprise. "Really? That's… that's great! Can you show me where the entrance is?"

Yuri nodded happily. "I can!" she said, twirling in the air.

I reached over my shoulder for my bag.

"I'm not going back in the bag," Yuri said instantly, setting her hands onto her hips and glaring at me.

"I wasn't going to ask you to!" I protested.

"Yes, you were."

"Yes, I was," I conceded. "How are we going to do this then?"

Yuri looked thoughtful for a moment before she smiled and dove at me.

I yelped as she vanished beneath my shirt and I felt her squirm around before settling near the top. Her head poked out from beneath my shirt near the collar and she grinned up at me. "There! Perfect!"

"It's really not," I said. "Anyone can see you," I pointed out. "Even if you didn't move they'd still think I was walking around with a doll in my shirt," I pointed out.

"It's this or nothing," Yuri said firmly.

"Or… How about this?" I said, pulling back my blazer and showing the pocket sewn into the inside.

"Or nothing," Yuri repeated determined.

I glowered, but relented. I reached up and began to button up my blazer. It made me uncomfortable, but it was better than leaving it open and Yuri noticeably on display.

A sudden thought occurred to me. "Can't we just transition over and make our way on the other side?"

Yuri stiffened, before she shook her head quickly. "No! That's a bad idea!" she insisted.

"Why?"

Yuri bit down on her bottom lip. "…The other side is scary around here. We need to be right at the entrance otherwise we'll be in trouble!"

That was concerning.

"What's dangerous about it?" I asked.

"It's… it belongs to a really strong Shadow. If it noticed us we'd be toast!"

A... really strong Shadow?

Yuri had never been afraid of any Shadow we'd faced up until now. At most she thought they looked nasty. She'd never been out and out afraid to face them. That made me nervous. But… what kind of person would make a Shadow scary enough to make Yuri scared? I mean, it wasn't like she was some grizzled old unflappable veteran or anything, she just didn't seem concerned with things for the most part.

For something to concern her…

"I'm starting to have second thoughts," I said after a long moment of silence.

Yuri blinked and looked up at me in surprise. "Why?"

"You said it was dangerous," I pointed out. "I don't want to put you in danger."

"It'll be fine," Yuri said, giving me a reassuring smile. "If we crossover right at the entrance we'll be far from the dangerous area, I promise!" she said, giving me a bright smile. "Plus I bet she has a huge Shard!"

Ah. There it was.

Yuri loved Shards of Desire.

They were like catnip to her.

"Alright," I said and reached up, gently rubbing the top of her head with my finger.

She protested half-heartedly.

"So, where do we go?"

Yuri beamed up at me. "Follow my directions!" she said, before pointing. "Onwards!"

I began to walk, following her every direction.

Ten minutes later, after some casual diversions in an attempt to avoid Yuri being seen, I found myself in front of something that shouldn't have surprised me.

"This is it?" I asked flatly as I stared at the door in front of me as several boys exited it, laughing together.

"Yup!" Yuri said brightly.

I really had no idea what to say.

I just stared at the entrance, before glancing down to Yuri. "Are you sure?"

"I'm super sure!" Yuri said firmly and pointed a tiny finger at the door. "That's the entrance!"

I sighed.

"Dammit… Kiryuu."

Why did the entrance to your demesne have to be the boys locker room?

I glanced around casually, before I began to walk toward the entrance. The pungent odour of bleach, disinfectant and the strange gag worthy smell of a boys locker room became more and more noticeable with every step I took.

I hated going in the locker room.

"Ready?" I said to Yuri even as I attempted to hold my breath.

Yuri nodded. "Ready!" she said and went silent as she began to focus.

I felt a tension form in the air, and as I stepped through into the boys' locker room, the air around me seemed to stretch as though I was walking through a thin membrane. I shut my eyes and made a conscious effort to step through and felt it pass over me.

The pungent stench of the boys' locker room was washed away as a sudden burst of sound hit me. I took a deep breath of wonderfully clean air and opened my eyes.

I found myself in a crowd of Shades. They were noisy and the sound of the crowd was almost deafening. They jostled all around me—though I felt nothing. Shades weren't really there, after all. They were just footprints in the sand of actual people. It was hard to see anything at first—the sheer volume of them made everything at eye level and below pitch black.

The only thing I could see were the tops of blank white buildings in the distance and the blood red of the sky—a sky which was very empty. There was no sign of the dark sun—unsurprising as it only came out at night.

I felt Yuri squirm around inside my shirt, before finally pulling herself free. She gave a flap of her wings—hitting me in the face—and launched herself up above the crowd.

"What can you see?" I called out to her as she circled up above.

She swooped down several feet and brought her hands up to her mouth, cupping them. "Go that way!" she shouted down at me, before lifting a hand pointing in the direction that the Shades seemed to be moving in.

"I'm gonna go look around!" Yuri said to me with a bright smile, and before I could respond she took off, vanishing from my sight.

"Dammit, Yuri," I said under my breath before beginning to walk forward.

It was a surreal experience. It was like walking through solid darkness. The only real guides I had where the barely visible white buildings. Eventually, after a minute or so of slowly advancing, the darkness in front of me began to thin, and I found myself able to make something out for the first time.

Neon.

Lots of Neon.

That was my first impression.

The front of Kiryuu's demesne was covered with signage, all of it either brightly lit by spotlights of crafted out of a truly staggering amount of neon tubing. There were dozens of neon arrows pointing toward the entrance, as well as several large spotlights shining into the sky.

The largest of all was a fancy animated neon design of a man and a woman dancing close together, holding each other and slowly turning on the spot.

I was still far away from the entrance itself. There were a long set of metal barriers winding back and forth all the way up to the entrance of the large extravagantly lit building. All the shades in the crowd around me were funnelling into it. The pace was glacial, only moving a few inches every minute or so.

Luckily for me, while the Shades were solid to each other, I didn't happen to have the same limitation!

I stepped forward into the barriers and began to walk toward the front.

In no time at all I reached the front of the line.

The entrance to the building was a set of piano black double doors. Each had a curved brass hand and was manned by a Shadow each.

These Shadows wore pristine white tuxes with gold accents, and their masks were a bit fancier than I was used to, sporting an almost masquerade type of design.

But they weren't the only Shadows there.

At the front of the line was another Shadow that held a clipboard to its chest. She, and it was definitely a she, wore a pale silver evening dress that had a slit along the side and showed an ample amount of thigh. If it's skin hadn't been pitch black and lacking any definition at all, I would have been interested, but then, I had no real idea what the Shadow really was underneath—for all I knew it could be something creepy like that football headed Obariyon.

I watched as a Shade in front of me stepped out toward the female Shadow and the darkness faded away, leaving a rather plain house-wife person standing in its place. Her hair was short and straight, just passing her neck, and she wore a straight black skirt and a white blouse.

"Name?"

"A-ah. I-Ikeda Akari."

The female Shadow looked down at the clipboard she held. "You are not on the guest list."

"I-I see…" the woman said before she meekly turned and walked away from the entrance. As she did the definition of her form faded until she was just another Shade once again.

"Next."

I swallowed as I stepped forward and forced a smile onto my face

"Hi," I said.

The Shadow took one look at me and tilted its head. "You are not our usual clientele. Name?"

"Hyoudou Issei," I said.

The Shadow looked down at her clipboard. "You are not on the guest list," she said after a moment and looked back up at me. "However, perhaps you'd be interested in performing? The management is always interested in seeing new blood."

I blinked. "Sure," I said immediately, smiling at her. "That sounds perfect. Do I get to meet the management for the interview?"

"If you make it through our rigorous screening process, yes. The final interview will be conducted by the owner of The Ballroom herself."

Perfect!

The Shadow lifted up one of its slender black arms and pointed toward an alleyway adjacent to the building. "The entrance for employees is around the corner as well as applicants."

"Right. I'll go over there then?"

"Yes."

I gave the Shadow a friendly wave and did just that, stepping behind the metal barriers and walking around to the side of the large flashy building. I stepped into the alleyway. On one side was a blank white building, on the other was the smooth exterior of 'The Ballroom' as the Shadow had called it. It was a strange sight if ever there was one. One side was empty and blank, the other was covered with worn posters, trashcans and for some very strange reason, broken mannequins.

A small way down I could see the entrance that the Shadow had mentioned. I made my way down the alleyway and found myself standing in front of a thick iron door with a slotted peephole halfway up.

I balled my fist up and thumped it against the door several times.

There was a sound of motion on the other side, and then suddenly the slotted hole was yanked aside, and a Shadow looked through—or at least, the mask of one.

"What do you want?" the Shadow asked, it's voice gruff and irritated.

"The lady at the front told me to come back here so I could try out?"

"…Very well." The peephole slammed shut and there was a series of clunks and thuds before the heavy metal door swung open. "Come on in."

The alleyway entrance lead into a spacious, if plain looking, hallway.

The Shadow that had answered the door gestured for me to follow it.

"So," I began to say casually. "When do I get to meet the management?"

"Soon," the Shadow said bluntly as they stopped by a door. "Get inside," it said and opened the door for me. "Someone will be with you shortly."

I stepped inside and found myself in what appeared to be a waiting room. There were a dozen or so chairs around the edges of the room, a coffee table in the middle, stacked with magazines as well as a door on the other side of the room. It also turned out that I wasn't the only one applying for the job. There were several other guys, all of which wore the familiar uniform of Kuoh Academy. Though, I didn't quite recognize any one of them as actual students. They all looked rather plain, if you asked me, like someone had grabbed a dozen students of the guys at school and averaged out their features.

"How's it goin'?" I asked with a smile, lifting up a hand and waving at one of them.

They looked at me briefly. "Hello," one of them said, before turning their attention elsewhere.

I rolled my eyes.

Forget what I said.

I recognized the attitude.

They were the 'every student' at Kuoh.

For once in my life I found myself understanding how Kiryuu saw everyone a bit more—and agreeing with her.

Thankfully I didn't have to wait long.

The door on the other side of the room swung open and another female Shadow stepped in. This one, however, was wearing a tight-fitting plaid skirt and a blouse that was a size too small for her. It did wonderful things to her chest.

"Follow me," The Shadow said, its tone clipped. It turned on its heel and walked back through the door.

The Everystudents got up and followed her. I did the same.

The Shadow lead us through another two corridors, before we arrived at a room and were quickly ushered inside what could only be described as a large room-sized wardrobe. There were lines and lines of different types of clothing as far as the eye could see.

None of it looked normal at all.

I could make out half a dozen different costumes nearby including; A fireman's outfit, a doctor's robe, construction gear and even something that could only be described as two strings attached to a piece of cloth.

The female Shadow turned toward me and the other applicants.

"Please strip down to your underwear."

"What."

The Shadow turned toward me. "Strip down to your underwear," she repeated. "The first step of the interview process is a physical examination."

I heard a faint chuckle inside my mind.

"…shut up Faunus," I muttered under my breath.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing," I said quickly. I noticed that the Everystudents had already begun to undress, and I was the only one that was hesitating.

I swallowed both my pride and dignity and reached up, beginning to unbutton my blazer, followed by my shirt.

Several other female Shadows appeared and collected the clothing from the others until I was the only one left not in my underwear.

I reluctantly took off my pants and held them out.

They were snatched up, and I found myself standing in line with the others, holding my hands in front of myself.

The blouse wearing Shadow began to prowl along the line, her masquerade-like mask getting quite close at times as she reached out, poking and prodding the others in various… places.

Eventually she made it to the end of the line, and I found myself standing there as she stared down at me through the empty eyes of her mask.

I stiffened as she leaned in and her mask got very, very close to my face. I held back a wince as her cold fingers prodded and poked at my arm muscles, before wrapping around my wrist and manipulating my arm—checking under my armpit. She even went as far as to run her cold fingertips down over my stomach.

"Passable," the Shadow finally said, its tone mercurial as she stepped back and turned to face the line once more. "You have thirty minutes to select an outfit from this room," it said, gesturing to the ridiculous amount of clothing around us. "After which point you will be judged on your appearance. Begin."

The others immediately began to move, heading toward the closest racks of clothing and leafing through them as though they were possessed.

I myself stood there for several more seconds, coming to terms with the whole 'being felt up by a corrupted imaginary being'. I took solace in the fact that it was entirely possible that she was a female Persona underneath. In fact, it seemed entirely likely! Otherwise why would she have breasts and be wearing a skirt?

I nodded to myself.

"Time is ticking," the female Shadow said to me.

"Right," I said, before turning around and watching as the Everystudents shuffled around in their underwear, picking and choosing ridiculous stripperesque costumes and checking to see how they looked in them.

I found myself at a loss.

I…

I slowly walked up to the nearest clothing rack and picked off an outfit.

I stared at my selection.

It was… a bowtie and two detached cuffs.

That was it.

"That is a wonderful choice."

I flinched and turned to find the female Shadow looming over me, it's masked face very, very close.

"R-really?"

"Yes. It is a favourite of the owner."

"…Oh." I said awkwardly, staring down at it. "…It's very… classy?" I said, glancing up at her for confirmation.

" _Very_ classy."

"I just… don't know if I have the physique to pull it off…" I said.

"Nonsense. You would look ravishing in it. You _must_ try it on!"

' _Yes Issei. Do try it on._ ' Faunus said into my mind, its voice tinged with mirth. ' _It will certainly elevate you above the slutty fireman and the delivery boy wearing the hotpants._ '

I shut my eyes tight and reminded myself of why I was doing this.

…

Why was I doing this again? Something about finding out about why Kiryuu had declared to her parents and the entire school that we were dating. This was becoming far too much effort for such little reward.

' _But what if she's the bondage loving girlfriend?_ ' Faunus pointed out. ' _It's your life on the line here. What is a bit of embarrassment compared to saving your own life?_ '

Right. I was doing this to… to make sure I wasn't going to get killed by Kiryuu—or more likely her father, based on how he had tried to crush my fingers. He did not like me one bit.

"Time is almost up."

I looked up in surprise.

What?! No way! It hadn't been half an hour! Not even close!

I looked over at the others, only to find them all dressed and waiting.

I looked down at the bowtie I held.

I felt my face ignite from the sheer heat of my blush.

There was… this was… I…

I held in a whimper as I pulled the cuffs and bowtie off the hanger and put them on.

"Could I have my pants back at least?" I asked, looking toward the female Shadow hopefully.

"I'm sorry, outside clothes are not allowed," she said to be, her tone not apologetic at all. "Please join the others."

I really didn't want to.

I reluctantly stepped up and stood in line in my bowtie, cuffs and underwear.

Forget every other time I had said something was the worst.

 _This_ was definitely the worst.

The worst of the worst.

There was no way it could possibly get worse.

I realized a moment later that even thinking that had been a mistake.

It was as if I had dared the universe to one up itself.

The door to the changing room swung open and a large dog trotted in—or at least I thought it was a dog at first.

In truth, it was a Shadow in the shape of a dog. Its fur was made of the same oily darkness as all Shadow's and the mask that covered its face was stretched over the top half of its muzzle and reached all the way up to the base of its ears.

I was immediately put on alert.

This was the first time I'd seen a shadow that resembled something other than a human—or at least humanoid.

I watched as it padded into the room before sitting down as if it were a normal dog and waiting.

Waiting for its Master, it turned out.

I found my breath taken away as Kiryuu's Shadow entered the room.

Unlike the real Kiryuu, this one's hair was not tied up in braids, nor was it tastefully messy. Instead it was styled into a sweeping brown wave that fell to her shoulders. She wasn't wearing glasses either, I realized as her gaze swept across the room.

She looked good.

More so because of what she was wearing.

I had never seen Kiryuu wear anything except the school uniform or the gym uniform. While both were certainly flattering to the figure they didn't have the sheer oomph of what she was currently wearing.

She wore a yukata and she wore it well.

Thin shimmering crimson material wrapped around her figure tightly, beginning just below her shoulders and ending just above the middle of her thigh. A wide black obi wrapped around her midsection, securing the intricate folds of the dress around her. I could see the faintest curve of her cleavage from the front—and it was very clear that she wasn't wearing a bra underneath and all the more impressive that the yukata didn't fall off.

With every other step she took, there was the faint clack of heels against the floor along with a glimpse of her pale white thighs.

I felt my heartbeat quicken and I averted my eyes from Kiryuu's Shadow and stood at attention in line with the others.

The dazzling Shadow Kiryuu stopped by the Shadow that had been with us. "Is this the new entertainment?" Kiryuu asked sharply and bounced a thin rectangular object against her other hand—it took me several moments to realize it was a collapsible fan.

"Yes, Miss Aika."

Kiryuu's Shadow turned toward us and I felt myself stiffen as her yellow eyes roamed over the line. They briefly lingered on me, before she turned and made her way to the other end of the line.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see her 'inspecting' each of the Everystudents and slowly making her way down the line, until finally she stood in front of me.

I kept my eyes forward and did my best to suppress my embarrassment.

Kiryuu's Shadows' eyes narrowed and she stepped toward me. The click clacks of her heels against the floor echoed through the changing room. She stopped a foot in front of me—so close that I could smell the perfume that clung to the air around her. It was heady and almost intoxicatingly sweet.

I stiffened as her gaze roamed over my mostly naked body from top to bottom and watched as the corners of her lips quirked upward. She snapped her hand to the side and the fan in her head spread out. She fanned herself with it several times, and another wave of her perfume washed over me. "This is a good look for you, Hyoudou," she said, her voice purring.

She glanced over her shoulder at the female Shadow. "I've changed my mind. Have this one sent to my private room, send the rest to the Ballroom," she said, snapping the fan closed once more.

"Yes, of course Miss Aika," the female Shadow said, bowing politely.

"See you soon, loverboy," Kiryuu's Shadow said, casually reaching up and running the back of her fingers over my cheek as she walked away. "Come, boy."

For a brief second I thought she was talking to me, only for the large dog-like Shadow that had entered with Kiryuu to suddenly stand and give a shake of its thickly muscled body, before following Kiryuu out of the changing room.

I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I was holding.

Holy shit.

Was it hot in here or was it just me?

I let out a breath and reached up to touch my cheek.

It felt hot under my fingertips.

"How peculiar."

I turned to find the female Shadow looking at me. "I suppose the bowtie was a good choice after all," she said.

Somehow, I felt as though she was smiling at me, despite the fact that she didn't have a face to smile with.

"Come with me," she instructed, before pausing and looking to the other Shadows in the room. "Take the rejects to the Ballroom to entertain the guests, would you?"

"Of course, ma'am," One of the buffer looking Shadows said, before shoving the Everystudents and ushering them back out the way we had entered.

The female Shadow turned and began to walk.

It took me a few seconds to convince my feet to move, but I soon found myself following after her.

"S-So," I said, finding it hard to speak as I walked behind the female Shadow. "I didn't quite catch your name earlier."

The female Shadow stopped and her mask turned toward me. "My name?" she said, surprised. "How unusual. You are the first to ask. Please, call me Leanan."

"Nice to meet you Leanan," I said with a self-conscious smile. "My name is Issei."

"Issei," Leanan, the Shadow repeated. "What a curious name," she said, before turning and continuing on.

I followed after her and I found myself being lead out from the 'behind the scenes' area of the building we were in and through a set of ornate wooden doors into a large, overly decorated foyer.

The foyer itself looked like something out of the Titanic—and if I was being honest, a bit tacky. There were a dozen large ornate marble pillars that stretched high up to the intricately moulded ceiling. At the centre, there was a sweeping stairwell that lead to a second floor as well as a large set of dark wooden doors.

It was a room designed to impress someone at a glance, but the more I looked at it, the less impressive it became.

Because the most notable feature of the foyer wasn't the extravagance and flare, but the sheer emptiness of it. Aside from the Shadows that staffed the room there wasn't a single other person in it.

It was almost surreal seeing so much empty space.

"Come Issei, we mustn't keep Miss Aika waiting," Leanan chided me as she saw that I had stopped to take in the sight of the foyer.

"Where is everyone, Leanan?" I asked, glancing at my guide and began to walk again, following her as she lead me toward the stairwell.

"Miss Aika has a very exclusive guest list," Leanan said. "She does not wish for the rabble outside to tarnish this establishment—we also have very strict hiring guidelines that we must follow. I was pleasantly surprised to find Miss Aika taking a liking to you, so we must not dally."

She lead me up the stairs—but rather than heading through the large double doors and to presumably, the namesake of the establishment, she lead me around to one of the balconies that looked over the foyer, and toward the other end where a single darkly stained door stood by itself.

Leanan the Shadow stepped toward the door and unlocked it, before pushing it open and gesturing for me to enter. "Please wait patiently for Miss Aika. She will be with you momentarily."

"Thank you Leanan," I said, offering the Shadow a smile.

She returned it, I think.

Either way, I stepped into the room and the door shut behind me.

Kiryuu's 'private room' was just as lavishly decorated as the foyer. The floor was hardwood and covered my thickly woven carpets. The light in the room was provided by a several chandeliers that were placed along the walls. They cast a dim, pleasant orange glow over everything

To one side was a glass cabinet filled with all manner of liquors—some I recognized from the Velvet Room, others that I didn't. On the other side of the room there was a fireplace that was currently crackling away, in front of which there sat two high backed chairs.

At the centre of it all, however, was a large circular bed covered by a thickly furred blanket and several dozen pillows of various shapes and sizes. The pillows were pushed to one side, and the blankets were pushed to the other. It looked like it had recently been used.

I realized, after several minutes that I was still standing by the door.

"…Jeez Kiryuu," I said more to myself than anyone else. "Talk about…" I trailed off as I approached the bed. I reached down and tested it.

The mattress was soft and springy to touch.

It was probably super comfortable.

I mean, of course it would be comfortable.

It was made from Kiryuu's desire for a bed, right? Why would she desire anything but the best?

That was just common sense.

Also, not touching someone's bed was considered to be common sense, so I stopped.

With a lack of anything else to do, I found myself wandering around the room, taking in each individual piece of furniture, the placement and what it could possibly mean.

In the end I came to the conclusion that it probably looked this way because Kiryuu's Shadow wanted it to look this way.

I let out a breath and reached up, absently scratching my collarbone.

Was it just me or was it getting kind of hot in here?

I mean, sure there was a fire place, but I was practically naked. If anything, I should be feeling cold.

My gaze eventually settled on the drink cabinet.

I licked my lips.

Kiryuu probably hadn't ever drank any alcohol, right? it was probably just for show.

I walked over and opened the cabinet, peering inside. Amongst all the labelled bottles there was a large crystal-clear bottle with a stopper at the top and it was filled with a clear liquid. I vaguely remembered something similar being called a decanter in my ancient history class.

I picked it up and pulled the stopper out of the top, before leaning down and giving it a sniff.

I couldn't smell anything weird.

I weighed up the pros and cons of drinking a mysterious liquid inside what I could only assume was Kiryuu's idealized male stripclub.

In the end I set it aside, before pulling a glass out of the cabinet and pouring myself a glass.

As I did, I heard the door behind me open.

I stiffened for a moment, before forcing a smile onto my lips and turning around.

"Hello, Kiryuu," I said, laying on the charm as thickly as I could. "Would you care for a drink?"

Kiryuu stood in the doorway, a lazily amused smile on her lips. "Getting started without me, Issei?" she asked as she walked into the room. Every step she took caused a small gap to appear at the bottom of her yukata that drew my eye without fail.

I stiffened as the large dog-like Shadow that had accompanied her before walked into the room behind her. It padded its way over toward the fireplace and laid down in front of it, seemingly docile.

I forced a smile onto my lips as Kiryuu approached me and offered her the glass of mystery liquid that I held.

"Thank you," Kiryuu said, stepping closer and accepting it from me. Her yellow eyes roamed over my chest and down toward my stomach. "Issei, I must say I'm surprised to see you here—pleasantly surprised, but surprised all the same."

"Well, I thought we could have a nice chat, just the two of us," I said. I did my best to ignore the strange, oddly… violated feeling that came over me as her eyes roamed over my mostly naked body, and turned back toward the cabinet, grabbing another glass and filling it up.

Kiryuu let out a soft laugh from behind me. "Yes, that does sound nice, doesn't it? A nice private, _intimate_ chat sounds wonderful." I stiffened as I felt her cool, smooth hand brush up against the small of my back. She clucked her tongue. "You're so tense, this won't do at all."

I picked the glass up and took a long drink.

I grimaced.

It tasted weird.

Not bad weird, just… weird weird.

Somewhere between apricot nectar and pink lemonade with a hint of cinnamon.

It also did the opposite of cool me down.

Kiryuu's hand came to rest on my shoulder, and she gently began to guide me away from the cabinet. "Come, sit down with me," she said, and lead me over toward her bed. She pushed down on my shoulder with a surprising amount of strength, and I found myself sitting on the edge of the circular bed, drink in hand.

"There, isn't that better, Issei?" she asked as she smoothly sat down beside me, not even a foot away.

I didn't quite trust myself to speak, but through some effort I managed to form something that was more or less a word. "M-much."

Kiryuu tilted her head. "You look nervous."

"No, no," I said quickly, shaking my head and moving my free hand to the cup I held as well. "I'm just… you look really nice."

Kiryuu's gaze drifted away from me briefly and her smile dimmed. "Do you think so?" she asked, absently reaching up and running her fingers across the smooth skin of her collarbone, brushing against the ends of her hair. Her gaze returned to me. "What do you like the most?" she asked, her tone somewhat teasing, "My hair or my yukata?

I say somewhat because… the look in her eye made me nervous.

I felt as though I was looking down the barrel of a shotgun and the wrong word at the wrong time would be beyond dangerous.

What was the right answer? Did I say that her hair looked great since it was a new style and made her look a lot more mature than her usual pigtails? Or was it the yukata? Girls loved being complimented on their clothes, right? And it looked amazing, the sleek silky fabric wrapped around her left a lot to the imagination, but what it showed was super hard to resist looking at.

Kiryuu continued to smile at me as she waited for me to give her my answer.

I took a deep breath.

"Can I be honest with you?"

Kiryuu tilted her head to the side, her smile never leaving her lips. "It's what I've come to expect from you Issei. Anything less would leave me disappointed."

"If I had to pick I'd have to say your yukata," I said honestly.

Kiryuu's smile dwindled.

"It's just so short, you know?" I said, smiling at her.

Kiryuu blinked.

"It's so short that it shows off an ample amount of thigh—don't get me started on how it's defying gravity by staying up despite being off your shoulders," I said, gesturing toward her chest. "It shows off the perfect amount of skin, while hiding anything really important."

Kiryuu threw her head back and a pleasant laugh filled the room. "Yes! Wonderful! Wonderful!" she said, beaming at me. "Just what I expect from you, Issei!" She shifted closer and dropped a hand onto my thigh, smiling at me in delight. "It isn't that you like what I'm wearing, you just like what it shows, isn't that right?"

"Exactly," I said in agreement. "It shows off nice skin!" I let my gaze wander over her exposed skin. It was a bit pale, and smooth. I wanted to touch it.

Oh.

Oh god.

I wanted to touch Kiryuu.

I brought a hand up to my face as the horrific realization hit me.

"You know, I love that about your outfit as well," Kiryuu said, and the hand on my thigh squeezed down, before slowly sliding further up my thigh. "I must confess. The last time I saw you without your shirt you were a bit skinny, but you've put on a bit of muscle since then, haven't you? I like it."

My heart began to beat faster and I brought the clear cup up to my lips to take a sip. It didn't help. My gaze dropped down to the hand on my thigh, and how close it was getting to my underwear, before it rose up to meet Kiryuu's.

"Kiryuu," I began to say.

"Aika."

I blinked. "Pardon?"

"Call me Aika," Kiryuu insisted. "We're close enough that there's no reason not to be on a first name basis, after all. We know each other better than any of the others, don't we?" she pointed out. "They put on airs and pretend to be innocent or naïve, but in reality, they're just lying to you, to me, to everyone. Even to themselves."

Kiryuu's tongue slipped out and licked her lips. "Honesty is the best isn't it?"

"It is," I said slowly.

Kiryuu leaned closer and the glimmering yukata that she wore brushed up against me. It felt soft, silky and smooth. Wonderful against the skin. I could feel the faint heat of her body through it.

"Honesty is the best," Kiryuu repeated. "So we should be honest, shouldn't we?"

Her hand continued to slowly creep up my thigh until it brushed against the edge of my underwear.

I practically jumped off the bed laughing nervously and putting a bit of distance between Kiryuu and myself.

Kiryuu's Shadow.

Kiryuu's Shadow, I reminded myself.

She wasn't Kiryuu, she was her Shadow.

She wasn't the real Kiryuu so doing anything would be weird, right?

Definitely.

It would definitely be weird.

It would be weird, and hot, and probably all kinds of wrong in all the right kinds of ways.

Kiryuu's Shadow looked at me in surprise from her position on the edge of the bed, before a glimmer of realization flickered in her eyes. She laughed softly and smiled at me as she slowly leaned back on the bed, curling onto her side watching me. "Scared?" she asked, her voice teasing as she absently traced her fingers over the top of her bed.

"Of you? Terrified," I admitted, giving her a nervous smile.

Kiryuu's Shadow's eyes dipped below my waist and her smile widened. "It's not the only thing you are."

I glanced down and instantly turned crimson.

I reached over to the bed and grabbed a pillow before holding it against my crotch.

Kiryuu's Shadow made a sound of disapproval. "Come on, Issei. It's just me," she said, twisting and turning until she laid on her stomach with her one of her hands propping up her chin. "You haven't got anything I haven't seen before, I promise you," she paused, and a wicked smile took over her lips. "Or… perhaps you feel like you're getting the short end of the stick?" One of her hands came up to the top of her yukata and began to tease it down.

"Nn…nn…"

I found myself struggling to say the n word.

I closed my eyes and reminded myself why I was here.

It wasn't to lose my virginity to Kiryuu's Shadow—no matter how much the thought of doing it excited me. It was getting hard to think. My mind was covered in a thick haze that made it hard to come up with reasons to not go along with her.

"Your indecision weakens you," Kiryuu's Shadow said softly. "Come lay with me. Forget about everything else. It doesn't have to be complicated. Just you, me and this bed." She stretched languidly.

It did wonderful things to her body and caused her yukata to loosen.

I took a deep breath.

"Okay," I said, finally giving in.

"Wonderful," the Shadow purred and crawled toward the edge of the bed. "Come here, loverboy."

I walked toward the bed and reluctantly discarded the pillow I held.

A wicked smile crossed her lips and her eyes, filled with excitement, were drawn down toward my crotch as she pulled herself up onto her knees.

"But, before we get started, can I ask you something?"

"You just did," Kiryuu's Shadow purred out as she reached out and her fingers brushed against my chest and began to slowly tease their way down the front of my body.

I ignored how it felt and focused on trying to get the words out.

"I… why did you tell your parents I was your boyfriend?" I asked, struggling to keep my voice level as her fingers danced over the bottom of my ribs.

Her fingers paused at my lower stomach. "Why does it matter?" she asked, before her fingers continued downward and began to tease along the band of my underwear.

"Because… because…" I struggled. "Because… honesty is important."

The Shadow froze for a long moment, before relaxing. "Yes. Honesty is important," she said, more to herself than me. "Is that your price?" she asked, glancing up at me and meeting my eyes for the first time since I stopped hiding my crotch from her.

I licked my lips. "It is."

The brown-haired Shadow sighed softly before smiling. "You were the lesser of two evils."

"What was the greater?" I asked, unable to help myself.

The Shadow didn't answer, instead the fingers at my underwear slipped beneath the band.

I shut my eyes just as the Shadow yanked my underwear down. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a younger, more innocent Issei let out a 'Kyaah'. I, being the more mature one did not. At least… I was pretty sure I hadn't.

Seconds ticked by in silence with no motion from the Shadow that had just exposed me.

I cracked open an eye and glanced down, only to find Kiryuu's Shadow frozen, staring at my exposed crotch.

Which…

…which...

Which for some ludicrous reason looked like a giant mess of 3d pixels.

"W-what the hell?!" I stammered, my eyes going wide as I saw the mangled digital mess that my privates had become.

I reached down in a panic and—to my relief, It felt whole and normal—if not awkwardly erect.

My hands, as they reached down also took on the strange pixelated texture.

I blinked slowly.

"…Why… why can't I see it?!" Kiryuu's Shadow suddenly snarled and slashed her hand through the hair, knocking aside my own and trying to grasp at my junk.

The 'pixels' surrounding my member seemed to slip around her fingers no matter how much she tried. I felt nothing, even as her hands moved through the space where my member should have been.

"Dammit! Why?! Why!"

I backpedalled away from the bed, my eyes widening in shock and surprise as Kiryuu's Shadow began to shout in anger.

Her yellow eyes snapped to mine, filled with anger. "You! You! Why can't I touch it?!" she demanded to know.

"Y-you're freaking me out, Kiryuu," I stammered as I backed up further.

The glass in my hand slipped and shattered against the floor.

"Get back here!" Kiryuu's Shadow demanded angrily. "I'm not finished!"

"I think… that's a bad idea."

She bared her teeth at me in a vicious smile. "I don't care what _you_ think."

A low growl began to fill the room.

It took me several moments to realize that it was coming from near the fireplace—where the Shadow in the shape of a dog had been quietly resting.

At least, it had been.

Its mask was turned toward me, and its lips were pulled back into a snarl, with thick red saliva dripping from between its teeth.

This was bad.

This was very bad.

I didn't have a weapon.

I swallowed a lump that had developed in my throat.

"I think… maybe we need some time to cool off," I said as I inched further and further toward the door.

'… _Issei, it's time to leave._ '

No fucking kidding.

" **No!** " Kiryuu's Shadow shouted angrily, her voice becoming distorted and painfully loud. She pointed a finger toward me. " **Fetch.** "

With a howl the Shadow Dog burst into motion, its padded black feet pounding against the hardwood floor and carrying its thickly muscled body toward me.

I did much the same, turning around and barrelling into the closed door, quickly opening it and flinging myself through.

I slammed it shut behind me.

That turned out to be a mistake.

A force akin to a car slammed into the door from the other side, breaking it from its hinges and sending me flying backward into the banister of the balcony that overlooked the foyer. I let out a grunt of pain, but didn't let myself stay still.

I scrambled onto my feet and quickly ran toward the corner, slipping beyond it just in time to avoid the rabid dog as it smashed into the wall behind me.

"F-Faunus!" I shouted out my Personas name.

Blue flames erupted from beside me and rapidly took the shape of my trusted Goat-headed Persona.

' _Issei, you cannot fight this Shadow,'_ Faunus said, it's tone urgent as it stood between me and my enemy.

"Right," I said. "You fight. I run, got it!" I said, turning and wasting no time in running.

Faunus didn't appreciate that.

' _Are you kidding?! That thing will destroy me! The Shadow told it to fetch, not kill! Just keep running!'_ Faunus urged me.

"Run to where?!" I demanded to know. "Yuri ran off earlier! If we wanted an escape route we'd have to beat up Kiryuu's Shadow—which I'm not doing!"

I rounded the corner of the balcony and quickly descended the steps leading down into the foyer, ignoring the large double doored that lead into the main area of the demesne—The Ballroom, where Leanan had taken the Everystudent Shades.

Running toward the exit seemed like a smarter thing to do then heading further in.

"C-come on! If we get out of the demesne then the Shadow won't follow!" I shouted to Faunus as I jumped past the last several steps, stumbling as I landed but through sheer force of will, keeping myself on my feet.

There was a thunderous crash and fragments of wood rained down on the foyer followed by the whole floor rumbling as the massive Shadow dog crashed into the floor.

It let out a deafening howl before it's body bloated, distending into outrageous proportions, before finally erupting in a torrent of shadow and pulsating red ichor that exploded in size and coalesced into a new, horrifying form.

The Shadow shed its mask and took on its true identity, something that in hindsight, I desperately wished it hadn't done.

A massive green, elongated shaft formed the main body of the Shadow. Thick bulging purple veins coursed over its entire body which was crowned with a helmet-like head and a large gaping mouth just beneath it. An armoured thorax stretched down the length of its body to two massive veined… things that rested at the bottom, around which countless thick, writhing tentacles squirmed.

A shriek that shook me to the core erupted out of the mouth below its helmet and a gout of thick fire bellowed forth out of its orifice, sending out a wave of suffocating heat that staggered me even as far away as I was.

I found myself trembling, as I stood there, weaponless and for all intents and purposes, very much naked.

I knew this Persona for who and what it was.

Its name was Mara and it terrified me in ways I hadn't realized were possible.

' _Now you see why I advised you to run,_ ' Faunus said, it's tone dry as it eyed the enemy before us. ' _This is not an enemy we can hope to overcome._ '

"Issei!"

I turned around and found Kiryuu's Shadow standing at the top of the stairs in her yukata and holding the collapsed fan from earlier. Her yellow eyes glared balefully down at me. "Return to my side at once," she said, her tone calm and at complete odds with the message her eyes were sending.

I swallowed and glanced back at the giant cock on the other side of me.

Its head briefly bulged and a burp of flames erupted from its mouth.

I shuddered and barely held in the urge to vomit up my lunch.

"I… I didn't sign up for this," I whimpered. "I… I want to go home…"

' _Snap out of it Issei!_ ' Faunus said sharply. ' _This isn't the end—not yet. You were right. All we have to do is make it outside._ '

That was easier said than done, especially since, with all the commotion, more and more Shadows were beginning to appear on the balconies that overlooked the foyer.

I took a deep breath.

No.

Faunus was right.

This wasn't the end.

We just needed… to get a little creative.

I reached up and slapped my cheeks lightly. "Alright!"

"Oh? Are you intending on disobeying me, Issei? I can't promise your safety if you go against me," Kiryuu's Shadow said even as it lifted the collapsed fan it held and pointed it toward me.

"Sorry, Kiryuu," I said, smiling up at her despite myself. "I'm going to have to be a pain. You'll forgive me though, right?"

The Shadow's smile turned cold. "Mara. Fetch."

An unholy screech erupted from behind me and I spun around just in time to see the green and purple Persona thrashing around and charging toward me, its tentacles slamming into the ground and pulling it toward me head first.

S-shit!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Faunus' arm wrapped around my midsection and he jumped.

Wind whipped around me and my neck snapped backward from the sheer speed of the movement.

We landed, and Faunus let go of me—only to suddenly grunt in pain as something struck his back.

' _D-done in by a giant d-dick… god dammit…_ ' Faunus whispered as it collapsed forward and its body began to disintegrate into flecks of blue flame.

"F-faunus?!" I said in a panic, reaching out and trying to grab my Persona.

He fell through my hands, his body scattering.

"N…no.." I whispered, staring down at my hands.

' _Issei! What are you doing?! Hurry up and get out of there!_ ' Faunus shouted at me from inside my head.

I inhaled sharply and my eyes widened in surprise.

Right. Right! Persona's couldn't be killed! Only their bodies could be destroyed!

I pushed my already forgotten grief out of mind and quickly looked around for Mara, only to find it a dozen meters away, its head pointed toward me and oozing a clear, viscous liquid as the round orbs at its based throbbed and pulsed.

Dear… Dear god. Did it just one-shot Faunus with… with…

' _Please don't…_ '

For my own sake I didn't finish the thought.

I glanced toward the exit—a set of two large piano black doors.

They lead to the outside of the building. I was certain at least of that much.

On the other side there were more Shadows, but there was no doubt in my mind they'd be easier to deal with then Kiryuu's pet.

Mara's body suddenly bulged at the base and a thick band of force began to travel up its body.

I turned and fled toward the exit.

I had no desire to see what came out next.

' _Issei down!_ '

I lunged forward, tucking my head down—and just in time.

A rolling wave of fire tore through the space that my upper body had been occupying mere seconds before. The heat of it seared the skin on my back and sent waves of agony tearing through my nerves.

I bit down on a scream of pain as I tumbled forward, and watched as the flames crashed into the exit.

The piano black doors exploded outward as they took the full force of Mara's attack.

I forced myself onto my feet and ran toward the exit, ignoring every inch of my body that protested the action.

I dived through the flaming wreckage of the doors—clipping a jutting out fragment of the door frame—and tucked my head in as I rolled. I did my best to ignore the tongues of flame as they licked my bare body, and the impact of my back against the pavement—or whatever the hell passed for it in this fucked up world.

The ground beneath me rumbled violently and behind me I heard Mara screeching as it smashed through the flaming wreckage of the Ballroom exit, sending flaming debris showering all over me.

"Y-Yuri!" I screamed out desperately, not trusting my body to carry me further.

By some miracle or act of god, she came.

Like a silver comet descending from the heavens, Yuri hurtled toward me from high above.

Mara's shaft bulged and licks of fire began to erupt from its orifice.

Yuri slammed into me full force and that was the last thing I remembered.

—~—


	10. Book One: Chapter Ten

—~—

For not the first time in the past few weeks, I found myself waking up in a strange, odd smelling location with only a vague recollection of how I managed to get there.

The floor beneath me was cold—very cold, and it reminded me that I was very much still mostly naked.

With some effort and a groan, I pushed myself up into a sitting position and looked around.

It was mostly dark, with the only light coming in the form of a dim orange through small rectangular windows at the top of one of the walls.

There were benches and lockers.

That was pretty much it.

Which meant…

"…Gross…" I grimaced and quickly got off the floor, shuddering in disgust.

"Issei! You're okay!"

A tiny figure the size of a large action figure slammed into my chest with the force of a dodgeball. I rocked back on the balls of my feet, but stabilized and brought my arms up around Yuri.

"Somehow, I made it," I said, giving a soft sigh, before shaking my head and smiling down at the blonde haired, feather winged fairy. "No, not somehow. You saved me Yuri," I said, reaching down to the top of her head and gently rubbing it with my thumb.

"Of course!" Yuri said brightly, a warm smile on her lips. "I couldn't let you die, who would buy me candy then?"

"And you ruined the moment," I said with a sigh, dropping my arms from around her and letting her float away.

She pouted at me.

I ignored her and took a moment to gather my thoughts.

The last thing I remembered was… being chased by a giant demonic cock through Kiryuu's demesne.

My body took that moment to remind me of that in earnest, and pain flared up all over my back and sides. "Ow!" I hissed out, clutching my ribs only to immediately regret it as a sharp pain flared through me.

I shut my eyes tight and held my breath, riding through the wave of pain, before cracking my eye open and looking down.

My side was bruised a nasty purple.

From the way my back was stinging, I can't imagine it was going to look much better.

"Issei…" Yuri said softly, floating closer. She had a pained look on her face and it wasn't of the physical sort.

"Hey, what's with that look?" I asked, putting on a smile for her. "Relax, I'm just a bit beat up," I reassured her. "A quick trip to the Velvet Room and I'll be in top shape, just you watch."

Except… I didn't have time for that.

I glanced over toward the small windows on the locker room wall.

It was getting late.

Soon night would come which meant two things.

I couldn't be outside when the sunset or I'd get sucked back into the World of Desire—which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It'd let me use my Persona to patch myself up. It wouldn't get rid of all the damage that Kiryuu's pet had done, but it would get me into working order at the very least.

The second was… it would mean that I only had an hour or so before the dinner date with Kiryuu and her parents.

I looked down at myself.

Not that I was really in any state to go.

All I had on were my underwear and the ridiculous costume… that… I had received in the strip club?

I lifted a hand and stared at my wrist.

Or more specifically, the cuff that was on it.

I stared at it long enough for Yuri to call my name.

I snapped out of my daze and shook my head. "Sorry, sorry," I said to her, glancing down at it and reaching up with my other hand to tug on it.

Intellectually I knew that things from the World of Desire carried over into the real world as if they themselves were real.

I had plenty of examples.

My first plastic sword that I had used in Playjunes had materialized with me in the real world. As had all the Shards that I had collected. They were objects made of desire that when brought to the real world took on a form of their own.

"Yuri," I began to say, only for the fluorescent lights above to suddenly flicker on.

Yuri zipped away above the lockers and hid, leaving me standing there by myself in the middle of the boys' locker room, in my underwear, and a stripper's collar and cuffs.

I heard the sound of footsteps from the entrance.

"Hello? Is anyone here?" A voice—a boy from the sound of it—called out from the entrance.

"Y-yeah," I called back. "Just… getting changed," I said awkwardly.

There was a few seconds of silence.

"…Issei? Is that you?"

I blinked.

"Matsuda?"

A familiar bald head pokes into the locker room from the entrance. "Issei what are…" Matsuda trailed off and he blinked slowly, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Sorry, I was in the middle of—"

"—What the hell happened to you?!" Matsuda demanded to know, rushing into the locker room, his eyes flickering over my body in a mixture of disbelief and horror.

I immediately became self-conscious of my body and the injuries that I was sporting. I awkwardly folded my arms across my chest—more to do something with them than try to hide my bruises. "I got into a fight with a stair well," I said to him with a smile, trying to keep good humour and play it off.

Matsuda stopped, and glared at me in anger—anger that wasn't at me, but for me. "Cut the shit Issei!" He said angrily. "What the hell—who did this to you?!"

"No one," I said instantly, giving an awkward laugh. "I just had an accident, that's all."

"An Accident…" Matsuda repeated. "Do you think I'm an idiot or something?"

"I was hoping," I admitted with a grimace. "Look, it's not what it looks like, alright? You gotta trust me on that."

Matsuda frowned and folded his arms across his chest. "Do I?"

"It'd make it easier for me," I said to him. I hesitated. "I don't suppose you have a change of clothes I could borrow? I sort of… lost mine."

"Is… is this some kind of sex thing between you and Kiryuu?" Matsuda asked seriously. "Because dude… this isn't healthy if it is."

My eyes almost bugged out. "What?! No! No absolutely not!" I insisted. "It's—it's hard to explain. I promise I'll explain things later but I have to get ready for my date with Kiryuu."

"Jesus…" Matsuda said, his eyes filled with concern. "You don't need a date right now Issei, you look like you need a doctor."

I glared at him. "Dammit Matsuda, now isn't the time to be a good friend! Give me your pants!"

Matsuda glared right back and held his ground. "No," he said, his tone firm and blunt. "Either you tell me what happened or else."

"Or else what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Matsuda took a deep breath and turned his head toward the entrance. "Yura-senpai!" He called out loudly.

I panicked and closed the distance between us, clamping my hands over his mouth. "What the hell man?!" I hissed at him.

Matsuda continued to glare at me with his arms still folded across his chest.

Dammit! This asshole! I should never have taken his Shard! The old Matsuda would have been fine with me going on a date covered in bruises!

"Fine," I said angrily, "You want to know the truth?"

Matsuda unfolded his arms and reached up, tugging my hands away from his mouth. "I do. You're my friend, Issei."

"…Alright. Fine," I said as I dropped my hands to my sides. "I went inside Kiryuu's soul which is shaped like a male strip club," I said bluntly. "While inside Kiryuu sicked her giant fire breathing penis monster on me, and in my rush to get out I got hurt. Alright? You happy?"

Matsuda stared at me for several long seconds, his expression unreadable. He calmly turned his head and shouted, "Yura-sen—!"

"Dammit Matsuda!" I snarled, reaching up to silence him—only to have his hands wrap around my wrists and hold my hands away.

"—senpai! Come here please!"

We began to struggle against each other. Despite the fact that Matsuda was technically in better shape than I was, I had the advantage. I was already injured, and he didn't want to injure me further. "Dammit Matsuda!" I shouted down at him as I wrestled him to the ground and did my best to silence him before he managed to actually get her to come.

It was of course, that scene that Tsubasa Yura walked in on.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Both Matsuda and I froze, and as one, looked over toward the entrance.

Standing there with a look somewhere between confusion and amusement, was Tsubasa.

Unlike Matsuda who was wearing his track uniform, Tsubasa was wearing the normal Kuoh Academy uniform for girls. She looked good in it, as she always did in that weird bishounen tomboy-esque way she held herself.

"This… isn't what it looks like?" I offered feebly.

Tsubasa raised an eyebrow. "Really? Because it looks like you're half naked and straddling Matsuda-kun."

I blinked slowly and looked down.

Matsuda laid on the ground beneath me looking distinctly dishevelled.

Our eyes met and I immediately jumped off him, coughing awkwardly as my cheeks flushed.

The amusement in Tsubasa's expression died the moment she saw the rest of me. "Hyoudou-kun, what happened to you?" She demanded to know, wasting no time in crossing the distance toward me. Her eyes roamed over my bare chest, taking in the bruises. She sniffed the air as she got closer and her brow furrowed. "Is that… burnt hair?" Her eyes flickered toward the top of my head.

I found myself at a loss for words, standing there awkwardly, not knowing what to say to get out of the situation I found myself in.

Matsuda slowly stood up and brushing down his clothes, giving me a look that said 'you brought this on yourself.' "He said he got into a fight with a 'giant fire breathing penis monster'," Matsuda said dryly, folding his arms across his chest as he stood next to Tsubasa.

Since when had these two gotten so close?

Tsubasa's expression darkened a fraction. "Is that so," she said, her tone calm, and yet, somehow… scary.

She must have been taking lessons from Sona.

Tsubasa regarded me for a long time in silence before she finally spoke again. "Matsuda-kun, could you please go to the office and ask if there are any spare male uniforms in stock? If they have any concerns, please direct them to the student council."

"Wouldn't it be better if you went and got the uniform?" I pointed out, not particularly wanting to be alone with her in my current state.

I didn't want to be alone with a cute girl while mostly naked, wasn't that a funny joke?

Matsuda looked at Tsubasa in surprise, only for Tsubasa to turn her gaze toward him. "Alright," he said reluctantly. He glanced back to me one last time, before he turned and left the locker room, leaving me alone with the blue haired girl.

"Wouldn't it make more sense for you to go get a spare uniform?" I pointed out nervously as I folded my arms across my chest.

"But then I wouldn't be able to talk to you privately, Hyoudou-kun," she said, before pausing. "May I call you Issei-kun?" she asked and stepped over toward one of the benches and smoothed out the underside of her skirt as she sat down.

"I guess…"

"I won't force you to tell me what happened to you," Tsubasa said with an understanding look on her face. "Sometimes strange things happen that we can't explain, right?"

I nodded slowly.

"Matsuda-kun said that a…" she struggled for a moment. "A giant fire breathing penis monster attacked you, is that right?"

"I was just messing around with him," I said quickly, giving a fake laugh and waving my hand dismissively.

Tsubasa regarded me for a moment before nodding. "Alright."

"Alright?" I echoed, my brow furrowing.

She smiled at me and nodded. "I won't press, I'm certain whatever happened to you was something you don't want to talk about, isn't that right?"

"Y-yeah."

"However."

I blinked. "However?" I asked, feeling a certain sense of dread begin to form in my gut.

"You are a student of Kuoh Academy and you have clearly been involved in some sort of altercation. If you can't tell me what happened, and I can't determine that it isn't something that concerns the school, then I am going to have to tell Kaichou of your injuries and," her eyes briefly flickered down my body. "Current state of dress."

Oh god no. Anything but that.

"I'm glad you understand," Tsubasa said, before reaching beside her and lightly patting the bench. "Please, you must be exhausted. Come sit with me. I promise, I won't bite," she paused. "Or breathe fire."

I hesitated a moment, before moving closer and then sitting down beside her.

"There, that's, better isn't it?" Tsubasa said as she turned her body slightly to face me. She folded her hands upon her lap. "I understand that you don't want to explain what happened, but is it alright if I ask you some questions? You just have to respond with a yes or no, or if you don't feel comfortable with that, a nod or a shake of your head is just fine, alright?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

"Thank you, Issei-kun," Tsubasa said, smiling at me warmly.

Her smile did things that made my current lack of clothes feel a lot more awkward.

"Did another student hurt you?"

I shook my head.

"Did this happen on school property?"

I hesitated a moment before I shook my head.

It was in another dimension all together that just so happened to occupy the same space as part of the school, so that didn't count, right?

The blue-eyed girl glanced down at my ribs and bit down on her bottom lip. "It looks like that a hurt a lot," she said. "It isn't from being hit by a fist or foot. If I had to guess, you either ran into something, or someone hit you with something very hard." She paused. "That wasn't a yes or no question," she acknowledged. "Did you run into something?"

"Y-yeah," I said, glancing away.

"While running away from something?"

I grimaced and looked away, only to stiffen briefly as a cool, soft hand settled on my shoulder. I looked back and saw Tsubasa smiling at me kindly.

"It's alright," she said. "I'm not here to judge. I just want to look out for my kohai, that isn't so bad, is it?"

I…

Was…

Had I found the secret to getting girls to talk to me? Was it all about walking around naked and covered in bruises? Somehow I felt like doing that would get me on some sort of list…

"No," I said finally. "No, I appreciate it, Tsubasa-senpai… It's just…"

"Yura."

I looked at her in surprise.

"Please, call me Yura. I've never been big on being formal."

"O-okay, Yura-senpai."

The hand on my shoulder gently eased me forward, and I felt her gaze run over my back.

Yura bit down on her bottom lip as her eyes roamed over my back. "That looks like it hurts."

It did hurt. A lot.

That was why I wanted this to be over so I could go back to that crazy red world and get Silky or one of my other Personas to heal it.

"Can I please go now?" I didn't quite beg, but it wasn't far off.

"Of course," Yura said with a kind smile as her eyes returned to mine. "You can go whenever you want," she reassured me. "But it would probably be best to wait for Matsuda-kun to return with some clothes, wouldn't it?"

She technically wasn't wrong. Walking around in the real world like this would get all sorts of weird rumours started about me—and not the good kind. Luckily for me I didn't intend to. The moment I was out of sight I was going to the World of Desire and…

Yuri had warned against that, hadn't she?

She had said that a dangerous Shadow controlled the school.

Considering she thought that Kiryuu's palace was fine and freaking _Mara_ had been there of all things…

Maybe it was best to follow her advice.

Maybe waiting wasn't the worst thing to do after all.

"I understand," I said finally. "It's just… I have a date I need to get to and if I spend too much time here I won't be ready for it."

Yura blinked slowly before a flash of recognition passed through her eyes. "Ah, yes. I did hear about that. You and Kiryuu-san are dating, aren't you?" She gave me a weird look that was somewhere between disbelief and admiration. "You don't intend to reschedule despite… despite what happened to you? You're very foolhardy, Issei-kun."

I looked away in embarrassment.

"I don't mind that sort of thing in a man at all," she said with a soft laugh. "It is a shame you are already dating Kiryuu-san."

I blinked.

Wait.

What?

What?!

I looked at Yura-senpai in surprise, my eyes wide and my mouth equally so.

I… wha…no…but…!?

I wasn't really dating Kiryuu! It was just a ploy! It was a fake boyfriend girlfriend thing!

Why the fuck weren't you saying anything mouth?!

Matsuda, being the terrible, terrible friend he was, chose that moment to reappear.

"I'm back!" He called out as he stepped into the locker room. He held several familiar items of clothing in his hands. "They didn't have your exact size, Issei, but I think I got close to it," he said with a smile as he walked over, only to blink and look down at Yura-senpai and me, sitting beside each other. "Did you manage to get something out of him, Yura-senpai?"

Yura looked at me for a long moment, before she turned and smiled at Matsuda. "It turns out that he was being so closed lipped about it because he was involved in an accident," she said.

I looked at her in surprise as she lied on my behalf.

"He was worried about getting someone in trouble—but I don't think anything similar will happen again, isn't that right, Issei-kun?" She asked, turning back to me.

"Y-yeah. It was just an accident," I said with a slow nod, before smiling at Matsuda. "Thanks for grabbing these for me man."

Matsuda blinked and nodded, holding the folded clothes out to me.

Beside me Yura stood up smoothly, lightly smoothing out her skirt as she did. "Come Matsuda-kun, we have to finish making sure everything is locked up." She turned toward me. "I'll be checking in on you tomorrow to make sure you're alright, is that understood, Issei-kun?" She didn't so much say, as she informed me how things were going to be.

"Right," I said with a nod, and offered her a grateful smile. "I… I appreciate it."

Yura turned and left the locker room.

Matsuda looked like he wanted to say something as he looked between Yura and myself.

"…Good luck with your date, Issei," Matsuda said finally, before hesitating a moment. "You might want to do something about your hair before you go though." He turned and left.

I blinked.

My hair…?

What was wrong with my hair?

I stood up and made my way over toward the far side of the locker room, where the showers, sinks and mirrors were.

I stood in front of one of the mirrors and immediately froze.

I stared at my reflection in horror.

My… my beautiful… hair… It was…

Ruined! It was ruined! My glorious hair!

I reached up and touched it as softly as I could. It felt crisp and unpleasant under my fingertips.

I…

I wasn't going to cry, I really wasn't! There was just some dust in the air—or the smell of my burnt hair was causing my allergies to flare up.

I made a choking sound.

I… I definitely wasn't going to cry.

"They're finally gone!" Yuri exclaimed exasperatedly as she reappeared from where ever she had gone off to hide. She flew close to me and her eyes widened. "Issei, what's wrong?" she asked.

"My… my hair."

Yuri blinked several times and looked at the burnt mess my hair had become. She circled around me, inspecting me from several directions. "It does look pretty bad," Yuri said honestly, folding her tiny arms across her chest. "I wasn't going to say anything, but I liked your old haircut more! This one smells nasty."

I rounded on Yuri and glared at her. "I didn't choose this! That damn… dickhead did this to me!"

Yuri's eyes widened in realization. "Ooooh!" She nodded. "That makes more sense."

My anger drained away and my shoulders slumped. "What am I going to do Yuri? I can't be seen like this!" I inhaled sharply and my eyes widened I brought my hand to my mouth as a horrifying option presented itself to me. "N…no.. unless.. do… do I have to shave my head like Matsuda?"

I tried to picture it.

I couldn't.

I just couldn't.

It was too horrible.

A man's hair was his life!

"Hm!" Yuri stared intently at my hair as she whizzed around before stopping in front of me. "I can fix it!" She declared, clapping her hands together with a bright smile.

"Don't take this the wrong way Yuri, but there is no way I'm trusting you with scissors near me," I said bluntly, "Plus you don't even know how to cut hair."

Yuri pouted and glowered at me. "It happened one time, and I do to! I've been watching lots of television!"

"Yuri… people have to go to school to learn how to cut hair."

"No, I'm really good! I promise! I've been learning other stuff as well! I can cook—and bake cakes! I learned how to customize cars and put loud speakers in them as well, oh! Oh! And I know how to pick out good storage units!"

I blinked and turned toward her. "Yuri… have you been watching reality tv again?"

"No," Yuri replied instantly, glancing away. "It was… they were documentaries!" she insisted.

I gave her a look before sighing and looking toward the windows.

It was already dark out.

I'd missed the sunset.

That meant two things.

The first was that I'd avoided getting sucked back into the World of Desire. A good thing, all things considered.

The second thing was that it also meant that it was very unlikely that a barbershop would still be open.

A buzz cut was looking all the more real and frightening with every passing second.

I shook my head and pushed the thought out of my mind. I grabbed the clothes Matsuda had gotten and began to get dressed.

The clothes turned out to be a bit baggy, but they were better than nothing.

"Let's go home," I said to Yuri as I finished buttoning the white shirt up.

"Yeah!" Yuri said brightly. "I'll see you there!" She said with a smile, before she gave a flap of her wings and took off, vanishing through the exit.

I rolled my eyes.

She was as transparent as she was adorable.

I had no doubt in my mind that by the time I got home she'd have everything she needed ready to mutilate my hair further.

When she put her mind to something that was it. It was an endearing, if frustrating quality she had.

I shook my head and slapped my cheeks.

Now wasn't the time to get lost in thought!

I had to get going!

I quickly made my way out of the boys' locker room and took my first breath of clean air in what felt like an eternity.

It felt heavenly.

As though an angel was blowing air into my lungs.

I made my way out of school, attracting several odd looks from the teachers that hadn't left yet as well as some students who had stuck around late due to club activities. I wasted no time in leaving the school grounds and making my way home. I didn't want to waste time trying to avoid answering questions about what had happened to… to my hair.

I arrived home to the sight of the lights already on and the door unlocked in advance by a certain winged barbie doll.

"I'm home," I called out as I entered.

"Come to the bathroom Issei!" A tiny voice shouted back at me from upstairs.

I hesitated.

On one hand, I needed to have a shower, otherwise I'd stink of burnt hair no matter how much deodorant I used.

On the other hand, it was entirely likely that Yuri had setup shop in the bathroom and was wielding a pair of very sharp scissors, oversized scissors with the intention of using them on me.

I groaned and rubbed my forehead.

It was… it was better than nothing right?

My hair was already ruined.

If I went on the date with the current mess of hair I had then Kiryuu would never let me live it down.

I ran my fingers through my hair.

It… it didn't feel so bad.

"Issei!"

"I'm coming! Jeez," I growled before trudging up the stairs and making my way into the bathroom.

Yuri smiled at me brightly from her seat on the bathroom sink. "About time!" She exclaimed. "I was waiting forever!" She hopped up onto her feet and pointed to a plastic folded chair that she had setup in front of the mirror facing away it. "Sit! Sit! Sit!"

I stared at it for a long moment.

"Come on! Don't you trust me?" Yuri asked with a pout, looking up at me with those big, pretty silver eyes of hers.

I was going to regret this.

There was no other outcome available for me.

I wasn't that lucky.

I sighed. "Just… let me go put these clothes away, okay?"

"Okay!" Yuri said with a cheer, giving a little fist pump. "You won't regret this! I promise!"

"Don't make promises you can't keep," I told her as I began to get undressed. I folded my borrowed school uniform over a clothes rack and sat back down in my underwear on the chair, facing away from the mirror, and the sink that Yuri stood upon.

"Closer!"

I rolled my eyes and did this weird little thing where I lifted my butt off the chair and scooted it backwards. "Better?"

"Perfect!" Yuri said happily.

I felt her miniscule hands begin to move against the back of my head, tugging and pulling on my hair. It didn't quite hurt, but there was a noticeable pinch every time she did it.

"So!" Yuri said from behind my head. "How was your day?"

I blinked very, very slowly and resisted the urge to turn around and give her a 'are you for real' look.

"So. How. Was. Your. Day." Yuri repeated, emphasising each word with a tug of hair.

"It was a day," I said, my tone tired. "Are we really doing this, Yuri?"

"Of course! Good communication is a healthy part of getting your hair done," she said happily.

She went silent for several minutes as she did, before finally speaking up again.

"So, how about those sports, huh?"

I…

I laughed.

I couldn't help it.

My sides almost ruptured as I curled forward, pressing a hand against my face.

I just laughed.

It hurt my ribs to do it, as well as my back, but I couldn't stop.

"Issei! Stop laughing!" Yuri protested heatedly. "I'm being very serious!"

"I know!" I laughed, straightening up with some effort. "I know, that's why it's so funny," I said, trying to force myself to sober up. "I—Sorry, I'm sorry. Yuri."

Yuri huffed, but none the less continued her weird little motions back there.

A sudden thought occurred to me.

"Yuri, how exactly are you cutting my hair?" I asked slowly. "You don't have scissors. Are you just… pulling my leg?"

"No silly," Yuri said with a giggle. "I'm pulling your hair of course!" She said happily.

"…"

I began to turn around, to which Yuri protested.

I found her standing on the edge of the sink sending me an unhappy glower.

In her hands, she held bundles of brown hair, and the porcelain white sink beneath her was covered by a literal dusting of brown.

"…How?"

Yuri smiled. "Magic!" She declared, throwing her hands up into the air and letting the hair she held fly.

Yuri blinked as the burnt hair rained down upon her. Her nose crinkled and she gave a quick shake of the head, sending the hair that had fell onto her scattering.

I didn't laugh at her—though I couldn't stop the corners of my mouth from turning up.

Yuri growled at me and stomped her foot. "Turn around!" She demanded, pushing at my head with her tiny hands.

I did and she relented.

"So," Yuri said firmly. "How about those sports?" she repeated as her hands went back to work.

"They're very sporty," I said back to her. "My favourite definitely has to be Sportsball though. Out of all the sports involving balls, it's definitely the sportiest."

I had no idea about sports.

One could say that it fell outside my area of interests.

Though I could never turn down watching women's volleyball.

There was something about it that even I could totally get _behind_.

"Issei."

"Yes, Yuri?"

"Is Sportsball a real sport?"

Her question gave me pause.

"…No?"

"I didn't think so. It's a silly name," Yuri hummed as she ran her tiny fingers through my hair.

No more silly than 'basket', 'foot', 'base', 'net' or 'soft', if you asked me. Though, that was an opinion I'd never say out loud.

Sportsball fans were crazy about their Sportsball.

Despite the pain I was in and my general anxiety over my 'date' with Kiryuu and her parents, I found myself beginning to relax as Yuri's hands worked her literal magic. After a while I closed my eyes and just let Yuri do her thing.

Whatever she did to me it wouldn't be worse than what Kiryuu's pet had done to Faunus.

'… _Dick_. _Wait—I didn't—it didn't!_ '

My lips quirked up.

I couldn't have put it better myself.

"Issei?"

"Yes, Yuri?" I said, not opening my eyes.

"I was thinking…"

"That sounds dangerous."

Yuri's hands stilled for a brief moment.

I imagined she was glowering at me from behind.

The fact that she hadn't yanked on my hair meant that she wanted something from me.

"I was thinking," Yuri repeated, her tone a bit firmer. "I've been helping out a lot, haven't I?"

She had.

Without her my life would be a lot more difficult when it came to finding and clearing out the demesnes in the World of Desire. Whereas before I was dragged in by the setting of the sun, and could only leave once I had collected a Shard of Desire, with Yuri at my side I was able to come and go as I pleased.

If that had been it then she would have still been worth her weight in gold, but it wasn't. Her ability to sniff out Shards and lead me to them had been a massive blessing. I didn't have to run through the empty streets of the other world, keeping an eye on the things that emerged from the Shadows. She could lead me right to a demesnes doorstep even before we crossed over.

She was a miracle, all things considered.

"You have," I said, my eyes still closed. "I appreciate you a lot Yuri. You're the best."

"I'm… I'm glad," Yuri said, her voice soft and almost distant. "S-so! I was thinking that… maybe because I'm doing such a good job that you could let me pick a place to go next time?"

I opened my eyes and turned around, ignoring Yuri's protest. "What's different about that from usual?" I asked, surprised.

Yuri looked away and her hands dropped to her waist, fidgeting. "W-well, normally we go to the closest one, right?" She asked, looking up at me for confirmation.

I nodded.

"What if I wanted to go to one a bit further away?"

I blinked. "How much further?" I asked after a moment.

"…A bit."

"Define a bit."

Yuri fidgeted more and looked down at her hands. "Akihabara."

If that wasn't being painfully transparent then I don't know what was. Yuri hadn't exactly been able to disguise her interest in Akihabara ever since she'd heard about it—not that she'd tried in the first place.

Still, I had no doubt that she'd be able to find a Shard there. If there was any place outside of Tokyo itself that'd have a dense collection of Shadows, it would be Akihabara. It was a paradise for anyone with even a remote interest in electronics, games, anime, manga or…

Well let's just say that it was a paradise for me as well.

Which meant that it was absolutely teeming with desire, and where there was desire, there would be demesnes.

"Okay."

Yuri looked up at me in surprise. "R-really?!"

I nodded. "Sure," I said, smiling at her. "And while we're there we may as well look at some games and electronics, right?"

Yuri's smile became blindingly bright. "Yes!" She exclaimed, jumping a literal foot into the air. "You're the best!" She exclaimed and held out her hands wide. "Hug!" She demanded.

I rolled my eyes, but none the less leaned my face forward.

Yuri pressed herself against my face and began to nuzzle my face with her cheek. It lasted for several seconds before she leaned back and smiled up at me. "I love you," she said, her tone earnest before she leaned in and gave me a peck on the tip of my nose.

"…I—uh… I… love you too," I said and turned away as I felt my cheeks begin to burn. "S-shouldn't you finish?" I asked, looking directly ahead and not letting her see that I was having a very, very hard time keeping my lips from breaking out into a smile.

Yuri was… just too damn cute.

"Right!" Yuri exclaimed. "We have to get you ready for your date!" she said, before she got back to 'fixing' my hair.

Over the course of the next half hour, I found myself being ordered around by the tiny girl and slowly rotated around as she did her thing with my hair. Somehow my concerns with the end product had vanished as a warm, fuzzy feeling had settled into my chest.

"There!" Yuri said finally, dusting her hands and looking over my hair with a smile. She stepped backwards—almost toppling into the sink as she did—and admired her work.

I wasted no time in standing up and looking past her toward the bathroom mirror.

I stared at my reflection.

I almost didn't recognize myself.

My hair had always been sort of wild.

Once it reached a certain length all bets were off.

Through trial and error, I had found a look that worked for me, at least, I thought it did.

This was… different.

It wasn't bad.

Not by any means.

I reached back and ran my fingers over the back of my head.

It was shorter at the back.

Super short compared to my old style.

As it got further up my hair seemed to gain in length.

The sides were a bit tamer as well.

I found myself a bit disappointed that my hair had lost that semi-lopsided style that I had painstakingly cultivated. The sides were smoother and more tapered—thankfully Yuri hadn't messed with my bangs much. They were a bit thinner but not so much that I was unhappy about it.

"So, what do you think?" Yuri asked, taking a brief moment to extend her wings before she gave them a flap, sending hair flying all over the place.

What did I think?

I wanted my old hair back.

I loved my hair!

Still… she had done a great job and exceeded my expectations.

I had expected something out of a horror show.

"It's great," I said, glancing away from my reflection and smiling at Yuri. "I'm amazed with how well it turned out."

Yuri set her hands on her hips and puffed up her chest. "I told you! I am the best! I can do it all!" she said happily, before pausing. "Except cook," she clarified. "You have to keep cooking, okay?"

I laughed and nodded. "Sure thing. I'll make you something nice tomorrow, alright?" I said, before making a shooing gesture. "Get out of here. I need to have a shower."

"Okay!" Yuri said with a bright smile, before she twisted and turned and shot out of the bathroom. "I'm gonna go play games!" she shouted back through the doorway as she zoomed downstairs.

I glanced back at the mirror briefly, turning and looking over my shoulder at my back.

I winced.

It was an angry red colour, as though I had been laying down at the beach all day. It went all the way from the middle of my back up to my neck, where my hair had been burned.

I was going to have to take a detour into the other world to get one of my Persona to heal me up. It wouldn't fix every ache and pain in my body, but it was better than nothing, at least until I was able to get some tsundere loving care from my beautiful maid!

I took a deep breath and braced myself for what was about to come.

I got undressed and wasted no time in jumping into the shower before I chickened out.

I let a very manly whimper as the water cascaded over me, resulting in a strange mixture of pain and pleasure as the lukewarm water both soothed my back and at the same time made it feel like ants were crawling up and down it.

I endured and did my best to clean myself up, using soap, shampoo and even conditioner to try to get rid of the burnt hair smell!

By the time I was finished I was ready to swear off showers for the rest of my natural life.

Which… depending on how my date with my 'girlfriend' and her parents went, might not be that much longer.

I wrapped my towel around my waist as I made my way to my room. I could hear the sounds of Yuri playing the game console down in the lounge room, so I wasn't too concerned with her catching an eyeful.

A few minutes later I stood in front of my closet, my arms folded across my chest as I stared at my clothes.

I could clearly see lots of clothes in front of me, and yet… I didn't feel like any of them were what I wanted to wear.

I reached in and pulled off a set of clothes that I had picked out at the beginning of the year.

My mother had taken my shopping and had let me pick what I had wanted.

This outfit… this was the culmination of hundreds of hours of research and debating with my friends.

It consisted of a black polo shirt, a jacket with a set of jeans.

It was perfectly crafted to give off a 'friendly, nice and relatable' type of vibe.

Guaranteed to lower the defences of any girl who saw it!

But… that wasn't what I needed right now, was it?

I frowned down at my 'date' clothes before tossing them to the floor.

I needed to impress her parents and… these clothes wouldn't do that.

None of the clothes I had were the 'impress the parents' kind.

I glanced over at my alarm clock.

There was an hour to go before I was supposed to meet Kiryuu and her parents.

I was given pause by a sudden realization.

I had no idea where I was supposed to be meeting Kiryuu for dinner.

I knew that it was supposed to be at eight—she'd told as much—but I had never actually checked what she'd entered into my phone.

I felt a black hole open up where my stomach used to be.

My phone…

Which was in my bag…

Which was with my clothes…

Which were currently somewhere inside Kiryuu's demesne…

Well… shit.

I felt a cold sweat begin to form.

This was bad.

This was… very, very bad.

Kiryuu was going to straight up murder me if I stood her up.

I reached up and bit down on my thumb.

If I got dressed right now and ran all the way to school I could get there in ten minutes. The school would be locked up—which meant I'd have to first jump the fence, and then I would have to break into the actual school building.

That was, funnily enough, the easy part.

The hard part was what came after I got to the boys' locker room.

I'd have to somehow get back inside Kiryuu's demesne—past the Shadows patrolling it, somehow track down my stuff—if it hadn't already been disposed off—and then get out without getting my ass toasted like I had during my last daring escape from Kiryuu's Shadow.

All of that in half an hour.

I laughed.

My laugh may or may not have turned into sobbing halfway through.

After a minute or two of feeling sorry for myself, I managed to sombre up.

Okay.

So, Plan A was impossible.

Did I have a Plan B?

There was a long moment of silence.

' _Perhaps you should ask Yuri if she could find Kiryuu?_ ' Faunus suggested.

I blinked.

"Faunus… I could kiss you!" I exclaimed.

I picked up the clothes I had discarded minutes before and quickly got dressed.

"Yuri!" I called out as I quickly descended the staircase and entered the lounge room.

I found Yuri sitting on the couch, her legs folded and one of the game controllers in front of her. Her bright silver eyes reflected the carnage currently on display on the television as her tiny hands moved over the controller, punching down on the buttons where a normal person would have just been able to push with a finger.

"What?" Yuri said, her eyes never leaving the screen.

"You found Kiryuu's Shadow once you got a taste of her desire, right? Can you do it the other way around as well?" I asked her urgently.

Yuri blinked and paused her game.

She looked up at me. "Why?"

"I lost my bag and my phone in her demesne," I told her. "I don't know where the date is—I never checked—can you help me?"

Yuri considered my question, before she closed her eyes.

I watched, for several agonizingly long seconds as she sat there, motionless.

Finally, her eyes opened.

She blinked several times before smiling at me and nodding.

"Oh, thank god!" I exclaimed. "You're the best Yuri!" I said to her with a bright smile. "I love you, I really, really do!"

A beatific smile blossomed on Yuri's lips. The tiny blonde pushed the controller away from herself and stood up, dusting her hands over her butt. "Okay! Let's go!" she said, beaming up at me.

I turned to leave.

"Ahem."

I blinked and looked back at Yuri.

She looked up at me expectantly.

"Oh, right—sorry," I said, before leaning down and offering her my hand.

She hopped onto it and I lifted her up to my shoulder. She stepped off and one of her tiny hands gripped my ear to steady herself.

"Onward!" Yuri declared, pointing forward with her free hand.

As I made my way out the front door, another issue came to life.

My keys had been in my bag as well.

The more and more I looked at it, the more I came to realize that unless I got my bag back, things were going to be a lot more difficult for me for the foreseeable future.

I locked the door as I left—as long as I had Yuri getting back inside wouldn't be too much of a hassle.

The evening air was crisp with the breeze carrying an earthy scent along with it. Yuri shivered and wrapped her wings around her tightly. "It's cold," she mumbled unhappily as she pressed herself against the side of my head.

"It'll get warmer soon," I promised her as I began to walk.

After several minutes of walking we reached an intersection that was a reasonable distance from my street.

"Alright," I said, reaching up and brushing my thumb over the back of Yuri's head. "Do your thing."

"Okay," Yuri murmured before going quiet.

I felt the tension in the air begin to build, and took a breath before stepping forward.

We slipped out of reality and into the World of Desire in one clean motion.

One moment we were surrounded by the dark of night and the biting cold, the next we were surrounded by solid buildings of white, and a sky of blood red.

Yuri's wings unfurled and she launched herself up off my shoulder and into the air. "So much better!" she exclaimed as she stretched her wings out.

Temperature wise she wasn't wrong.

The World of Desire didn't really have a temperature.

It just was.

It was never hot, nor was it ever cold.

It was just right.

I stretched my arms out and immediately winced as a sharp sting set the nerves along my upper back alight.

I let out a series of choice curses before reaching up to my heart and drawing on one of my earliest Persona.

"Silky," I whispered its name and drew my hand away from my chest.

Ribbons of flames followed, and with a squeeze, they burst into motion, twisting and condensing into a slim, humanoid figure.

The bright blue flames extinguished, and in their place a beautiful light green skinned woman stood. She had dark green hair that reached the middle of her back and wore a long red dress that hid her lower half from sight.

"Hey," I said, smiling at the newly summoned Persona.

Silky opened her eyes—they were the colour of the ocean—and smiled at me. Her smile lasted a brief moment, before a frown took its place. She closed her eyes and sighed—or at least she made the motion. No sound escaped her lips. She glided toward me and reached out with a hand that glowed a pleasant green. She touched me and the pains and aches all throughout my body began to dull and slowly by slowly vanish.

I let out a moan of relief, letting my eyes close.

"You're the best," I murmured as the stinging sensation along my back lessened, before all but vanishing. I could still feel a faint tingling but it was nowhere near as bad as it had been.

I felt her hand draw away and opened my eyes.

Silky smiled at me warmly, before she was vanished in a flicker of blue and took her place back inside my heart.

"Feel better, Issei?" Yuri asked as she swooped down and stopped several feet away from me, hovering in the air as she smiled at me.

"Much," I said, taking a moment to stretch and relish in the lack of pain such an act caused.

"Shall we go find your date?" Yuri asked with a bright smile, clasping her hands behind her back.

I considered her question.

"Say, Yuri. You've been exploring right, during the day?"

Yuri tilted her head to the side.

I took a moment to consider how to word my question.

"I was wondering… have you found any demesnes that have clothing in them?"

Yuri blinked. "Like a store?"

I nodded. "Like a store."

Yuri's widening smile told me all I needed to know.

—~—


	11. Book One: Chapter Eleven

—~—

What laid before me could only be described as a sea of flashing lights that was split in half by a long, brightly lit platform.

A lone figure draped in elaborate, flashy fabric prowled down its length. The figure was tall and thin, with emasculated looking arms and legs and deep black skin.

The figure was a Shadow and it was dressed in what could politely be called 'high fashion'. Its mask was bone white and in the shape of a geisha, with bright highlights around the empty eye sockets, cheeks and lips.

It reached the end of the catwalk and it struck a provocative pose, that, if it had been a real girl, would have gotten my blood pumping.

Its empty gaze drew over the sea of flickering lights—which I now recognized to be camera flashes, before it turned upon the ball of its foot and began to prowl back toward the black curtains at the far end.

"Yuri… this isn't exactly a store," I said slowly as I stared blankly at the scene unfolding before me, "And somehow I don't think they'll have the clothes I want."

"I said it was _like_ a store," Yuri said happily as she flitted around, her eyes wide with excitement as she took in all that was happening. "This is the best! I've been wanting to come here for days!" She came to a sudden stop in front of my face, with a very serious look on her features. "Issei! They'll definitely have my size here, right Issei?"

Call me paranoid, but I suddenly found myself with a sneaking suspicion that Yuri had ulterior motives for bringing me to this particular demesne.

"Right," Yuri said, nodding seriously, despite the fact that I had neither said, nor gave any physical sign of agreement. "Let's go! We have to find some good clothes for m—I mean you."

"…just who exactly are you trying to fool Yuri?" I asked her, raising an eyebrow.

Yuri gave a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of her head.

I rolled my eyes. "Alright. If we have time we'll try and find something your size, alright?"

"Yes!" Yuri exclaimed, pumping her fist into the air and twirling. She flittered forwards and grabbed the front of my shirt with her tiny hands. "Come on! I know a way around the back!" she said as she began to beat her wings and pull me into motion.

Yuri lead me through the sea of Shades and camera flashes and toward the large black satin draped structure behind the catwalk from which the Shadow Models were emerging before strutting their stuff down the catwalk.

We reached the end, and I found myself obscured by a waist high metal barrier, beyond which there was a pathway leading backstage. Yuri continued to tug on my shirt, oblivious to the fact that I couldn't keep going.

"Hold on," I said, reaching up and detaching Yuri from my shirt. The act earned a huff from her as she found herself being brushed off.

I leaned over the barrier and glanced around, making sure that there wasn't a Shadow looking, before I jumped the barrier.

"Come on!" Yuri said eagerly as she began to move.

I followed after her, and soon we arrived at an unguarded doorway with a label that read 'Do not enter'. I wonder what it said about us that neither of us hesitated on entering what basically was the manifestation of another person's soul and desires.

The backstage of the fashion show looked pretty much exactly as I had imagined it would. There were people—Shade's that had manifested a purpose—quickly moving around from hallway to hallway, room to room. The whole place seemed to have been constructed out of temporary scaffolding and thick sheets of black fabric separating the different rooms and hallways from each other.

None of the 'people' paid us any attention as we moved—they rarely did. In truth, they could be considered as much a part of the demesne as a footstool or a table were. Though they looked and acted like real people, they weren't.

I peeked into a room as we passed and found several rows of brightly lit mirrors and seats.

I ducked out as soon as I got a good look at the people in the room—or rather, the Shadows.

In each of the seats sat one of the super skinny and tall 'Shadow Models' like the one I had seen prowl the catwalk. If anyone was going to notice that we weren't supposed to be there, it would be them and they would trigger a demesne wide alert, throwing any chance of sneaking our way through the demesne out the window.

I craned my neck and glanced back in, my eyes roaming over the Shadows.

Aha!

I grinned as I pulled my head back out. I had been worried that the 'fashion show' would be catering just to girls, but at the far end I managed to see a Shadow that was distinctly male, if not super skinny like the others.

"Looks like they've got guy clothes as well Yuri!" I whispered over my shoulder, grinning. "We just need to find where they keep the clothes and then we're golden!"

"You will find the clothes you are looking for down the hallway on the right."

I stiffened.

That… didn't sound like Yuri.

I turned around and found myself face to face with the owner of the demesne.

She—and she was very much a she—stood several feet away, with her arms folded across her chest. She had asymmetrical neon pink hair. One half of her head was bare, the other was long and swept over, with the edges cut at a sharp angle. She had no eyebrows, and in their place two pink ovals sat, beneath which the tell-tale sign of a Shadow's yellow eyes regarded me.

I blinked and my eyes, regardless of my desire, began to drop and take in what she was wearing—or perhaps, what she wasn't wearing, would be a more accurate way to phrase it. She wore a pale cream blazer, beneath which her body was crisscrossed by a dozen white ribbons, positioned haphazardly across her chest, stomach and waist. They looked messily spaced and sat at odd angles, and yet somehow, they managed to cover all the important bits that my eyes were drawn to.

She wore platform heels, I absently noticed. They put her on the same height as me. Without them she'd be shorter.

She noticed I was looking.

I noticed that she noticed I was looking.

She noticed that I noticed that she noticed that I was looking.

She shifted her weight provocatively, but said nothing as my eyes roamed over her.

"See something you like?" She asked, her eyebrow—or rather, lack of one, raising up. She lifted a hand and casually flicked her hair.

"I… uh… uh… ah…"

I found myself unable to form words.

The Shadow's eyes turned from me to Yuri. "You told me he was a bit scruffy, but you never mentioned how ineloquent he was."

I gave Yuri a look of betrayal.

Yuri smiled at me innocently, her hands clasped behind her back as she floated there. "He grows on you," she said with a smile. She flitted toward the Shadow and clapped her hands together in front of her. "Toro-chan! Is it ready? I've been waiting for so long!"

Wait.

Toro-chan?

Waiting?

"Of course, little one. It's been ready for days," The Shadow—Toro—said, lifting a hand and inspecting her painted nails. Her yellow eyes turned to me and slowly roamed down over my body, drinking in my appearance. Her lips peeled back slightly. "You are?"

I glanced at Yuri, who eagerly bobbed her head in encouragement.

I sighed and turned back to the—admittedly pretty and exotic looking—Shadow. "My name is Issei, nice to meet you, er, Toro-chan?"

Toro smiled brightly, showing off her pearly white teeth. "Splendid! Issei, a pleasure, to be certain." She stepped closer, into my personal space and one of her hands reached out, stroking the front of my jacket. Her nose crinkled and she absently flicked her fingers, as if trying to get something unpleasant off them. "How boorish," she said disdainfully.

"Ah!" Yuri's eyes widened as she remembered something. "Toro-chan! Issei has a date tonight, can you help? We're in a super rush!"

The Shadow's eyes widened and she looked at me as though she was seeing me in a new light. "Truly?"

"Y-yeah," I said, glancing away. "With a girl and her parents."

The 'with her parents' part made it sound a bit lame, didn't it?

I mean.

Why was I even going to such an effort in the first place? It wasn't like we were actually dating—or that I liked Kiryuu in the first place! No way! This was… this was just being nice, wasn't it? Doing the right thing and helping a friend!

I nodded to myself.

That was it.

"Is… is he alright?"

"He's fine! He does this sometimes, it's one of his good points!"

I blinked and looked at the two in front of me. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing," Toro said, waving her hand dismissively. "Come, come! We must get you appropriately suited, young Issei!" she said, turning and beginning to walk, her platform shoes click-clacking against the floor.

…Young? That was kind of insulting, wasn't it? No matter how you looked at it she barely looked out of her twenties. For that matter, how had she managed to sneak up on me with shoes that were that loud?

"Come on Issei! No time to waste, remember?" Yuri said as she vanished behind me and began to push me forward.

I let her, and followed after the Shadow.

Toro lead me down the hallway and into a room on the right, which, just as she said, was filled with racks upon racks of clothing, at the centre of which was a large table with countless things piled upon it, some I recognized such as a sewing machine, others I couldn't even begin to describe.

Toro pointed at me, before pointing toward an open space beside the table. "You. Go stand there," she ordered me.

"Is this really alright?" I asked, glancing over at Yuri.

"It'll be fine," Yuri reassured me with a bright smile. "Toro is harmless as a fly, I promise!"

I wanted to disagree.

I'd yet to meet a Shadow who was harmless.

Matsuda had been my friend and his Shadow would have torn me to pieces.

Still, I trusted Yuri for better or worse.

I made my way over to the spot that Toro had pointed out and was joined several seconds later by the Shadow herself.

"Stand up straight," Toro said sharply as she circled me. "Your posture is unsatisfactory."

I scowled, but said nothing as I straightened up to an almost uncomfortable degree.

What followed was…

I had no words for it.

Wait.

No, no.

I did have the words.

Awkward and invasive.

The Shadow had no concept of personal space, and I soon found myself stripped of my clothes and rendered down to my underwear for the second time today. To her credit she was more… professional than Kiryuu's Shadow had been—one could go as far as to call it clinical. She had pulled a yellow measuring tape out of thin air and I found myself being quickly and concisely measured from my shoulders, to my waist, to the inseam of my legs—which had been all kinds of uncomfortable.

All the while Yuri sat on the edge of the table and watched, her eyes glimmering with amusement.

I glowered at her.

She stuck her tongue out at me and—

"—Aaah!"

I almost jumped out of my skin as a pair of hands squeezed down on my ass.

I spun around, my cheeks burning.

"Firm buttocks," Toro said with the same tone as you would have expected someone discussing the weather. "Not thin enough to be a model, but overall, not unpleasant to the eye."

I found myself at a brief loss for words and watched as she stepped around me, making her way over to the clothing racks without so much as a smile or a flirty look.

I was so confused! Was that supposed to be a compliment? Was she interested in me? It didn't sound like it! But she said 'not unpleasant' that meant pleasant, right?! Should I try flirting with her? Would that come across as weird? Maybe she was just being professional!

Before I came to a conclusion as to what to do, Toro returned with her arms covered by different pieces of clothing.

"Here," Toro said as shoved a pair of long grey pants into my arms. "Traditionally I would craft you a magnificent outfit from base materials, but from my understanding you are in a bit of a rush, no?" she said, smiling at me.

I stared down at the pants that she had shoved into my hands. They were made of some sort of weird hybrid material that had the visible texture of denim but felt like cotton under my fingertips.

"Put them on now," Toro snapped at me.

I jolted into motion and did just that, bending over and quickly pulling them on.

"…They're too big," I said, staring down at my legs as I held them up. They were a bit loose around the waist and they bunched up around the bottom. They were clearly made for someone much taller than I was—I had the feeling a lot of the clothes I was going to be forced into were.

"Stay still, otherwise I may prick you."

That was the only warning Toro gave me before she became a blur of motion. She knelt down in front of me and began to adjust the length of the pants I had been forced into. Not even a minute later she straightened up.

"How does that feel?" Toro asked, her eyes roaming over my lower half.

I opened my mouth to respond—only to have something thrown at me.

I caught it on reflex and my pants fell down without me holding them up.

In my hands, I held a belt

"Put it on!"

I did just that, pulling up my newly tailored pants and threading the belt through the loops.

"Now this!"

It soon became clear that I was a living mannequin for Toro to assemble an outfit on. At no point did she ask what I thought about the outfit she was constructing around me—I got the feeling that something as foreign as another person's opinion would be lost on her.

"Terrible! Take it all off!"

I stared at Toro in disbelief. "What! Why!?"

"It is ugly! Unsightly, simply disgusting! We must start over!" Toro shouted at me, her expression contorted in frustration. She stepped over toward me and reached out toward me.

I physically backpedalled. "No, no!" I said quickly, as I put distance between her and I. "It's fine, it's perfect!"

It wasn't.

The clothes that had been unceremoniously shoved onto me by the punk-rock fashionista were way too… different from what I usually wore for my tastes, but I could already see where this was going.

Don't get me wrong!

In any other day or circumstance I would have been happy to play dress up with such a scantily clad girl! Even if she did seem a bit crazy over clothes… but I had a date to keep.

"Yuri," I said, glancing over to the devious little girl. "We need to go."

"What? Nooo!" Yuri protested, suddenly sitting up from where she had reclining. "I haven't gotten my outfit yet!"

Toro snapped her fingers. "Yes! Yes! Exactly! You cannot go yet, young Issei! I have not given the little one her new clothes! They are magnificent! Bold! Striking! Simply to die for!"

"…That's exactly what I'm worried about," I said, giving Yuri a firm look.

Yuri matched my gaze for several long seconds before her shoulders slumped. "Fine…" She said unhappily, pulling herself up onto her feet.

Toro's head snapped toward Yuri. "Little one! You cannot be serious?"

Yuri gave me a desperate look. "Issei…"

"Yuri…"

Yuri glowered at me, before forcing a smile onto her lips and turning toward the pink haired Shadow. "Toro-chan! I need to take Issei to his date, can I come back and get my outfit afterward? I'm super excited for it!"

"I…I do not see why not," Toro finally relented, though I could see from her eyes she was distinctly unhappy about it. "You will be coming back though, yes?"

"Of course!"

"And you will bring young Issei?"

"You betcha!"

The Shadow sighed. "Very well. It would be unseemly to get in the way of young love, wouldn't it?" She turned toward me, and her yellow eyes roamed over my body from head to toe. She stepped closer and reached out.

I stiffened, even as her hands began to gently move over my front, smoothing out invisible wrinkles.

"I was wrong. These clothes, they are very much you, young Issei," Toro said to me with a smile. "Though, I would very much like to experiment further. I am certain that there is a deeper fashion that we could have uncovered together if we had the time."

Her fingers trailed down my front, before she stepped back and turned away. "I shall not keep you, be on your way!" She said, before making her exit and leaving Yuri and I standing there in the dressing room.

I gave Yuri a look.

She gave me one right back. "What? You wanted clothes!" she said defensively. "Those are clothes!"

She… she wasn't wrong.

I turned toward one of the many, many mirrors filling the room and took in my appearance.

My collared shirt had been done away with, and in its place, was a low-cut black and white horizontally stripped shirt. It showed off a bit more of my collarbone and chest than I was comfortable with.

My jacket had been done away with as well, and in its place, was a cream coloured linen sports jacket. The material felt course on the outside, but on the inside, it was lined with something smooth and cool against the skin. The jacket was surprisingly thin and fit the contours of my upper body surprisingly well—it was hard to believe that when Toro had forced it on me it had been oversized.

I… didn't look bad.

I think… I looked good?

"Do I look good?" I asked, glancing over to Yuri briefly, before my gaze returned to the mirror.

Yuri stretched her arms briefly before her wings unfurled and she took to the air. She hovered over toward me and began to look over me from different angles.

After much deliberation, Yuri came to her conclusion. "I like it!" she said. "Very cool!"

I smiled. "You think?" I asked as I turned and looked at myself from several other angles.

I reached up and ran my fingers through my hair.

If I was being honest… I felt silly. A new haircut and new clothes, wasn't this trying too hard? Admittedly the former wasn't by choice, and the later hadn't entirely been one either. They'd both been forced on me—no matter what consent I had given at the outset.

"…I don't know," I said finally as I stared at my reflection. "This… isn't me?"

I felt like a pretender.

"This is… silly, right, Faunus?" I asked, turning inward for advice.

There was a long moment of silence.

' _I think you look nice_ ,' Faunus finally said. ' _Don't expect more than that, alright? It's weird asking another guy for his opinion on how you look, even if I'm you—no because of that it's even weirder, right?'_

I opened my mouth to respond, before closing it and frowning.

It… was definitely weird.

I shook my head and reached up, slapping my cheeks. "Focus!" I said to myself, before forcing a smile onto my lips and turning toward Yuri. "Let's get going. I have a date, right?"

"Right!" Yuri said with a small fist pump into the air. "Operation: Impress the Parents is a go!"

We made our way out of the room and past several tall, thin Shadows who eyed me, but made no move to stop us from leaving. Several minutes later we reached the edge of the demesne and I turned toward Yuri. "Can you find where Kiryuu is in the real world?" I asked her as we came to a stop.

"Of course!" Yuri said brightly, before she dropped down out of the air in front of me.

I reached out and caught her without hesitation. The shaggy blonde-haired girl smiled brightly up at me before she closed her eyes and focused.

I felt a weird… warm wiggling sensation inside my chest. It occurred to me that it never crossed her mind that I wouldn't catch her. To Yuri, the possibility that I would let her fall didn't exist in the first place.

I wasn't certain that I was deserving of such trust—nor that I could live up to it.

And yet, somehow it made me want to.

Despite the fact that the little brat had clearly tricked me into coming to this demesne to play dress up. This demesne where she had already 'negotiated' with the Shadow to get her own clothes.

On second thoughts, maybe I should have let her fall?

Yuri's eyes snapped open and she smiled brightly up at me. "I got her!" She exclaimed. "She's moving quickly! She must be in a car, right?" she said eagerly.

I smiled and nodded. "That'd make sense. Can you tell where she's going?"

Yuri shook her head. "Nope!" she said, "But I can follow her! We just need to move fast enough, right?"

"Exactly. We just need to move fast enough. Right, Faunus?"

' _Dammit Issei, I'm not a taxi service!_ '

Despite its protests, Faunus soon appeared beside me, its fur covered arms folded across its chest. Somehow, despite the fact that it's face and head were that of a goat, it still managed to convey its irritation at me.

"Come on," I said, "Don't be that way! It's a date right? Even if I'm going on the date, you're me as well, right? That means technically _you_ are going on this date as well, right?"

'… _I guess,_ ' Faunus said, its voice echoing in my mind, despite the fact that its lips did not move. It exhaled abruptly through its nose and unfolded its arms. ' _Very well. I do this under protest. I will expect compensation._ '

I grinned at Faunus. "Hey, if things go well, why don't I try and hook you up with Kiryuu's Shadow?"

To my surprise, Faunus actually considered it for a moment, before it shook its head. ' _No. It could never work. I am a Persona, and she is a Shadow. Unless…_ ' Faunus trailed off thoughtfully.

"Unless?"

' _It matters not. All that matters is our first date, isn't that right?_ '

I couldn't have said it better myself!

I moved closer to Faunus before looking down at Yuri who had been patiently waiting on my hand. "Ready to go?" I asked her with a smile.

"Yep!"

I looked over at Faunus.

Now… how was this going to work?

Faunus was larger than I was, that much was true, but he wasn't like Monsuda who had been able to hold me in one of its giant hands.

"…Piggyback?"

'… _I hate you._ ' Faunus grumbled, but none the less it turned around and knelt down.

"Oooh! Piggyback!" Yuri exclaimed, clapping her hands in delight before she hopped off my hand and floated over to Faunus, landing on its fur covered shoulder.

I moved closer to the Persona and looked over it, trying to decide on how to do this. Eventually I said screw it and hopped onto its back, wrapping my arms around its neck and my legs around its waist. I bunched my fingers up in its thick fur and gave Faunus an apologetic smile, despite the fact it couldn't see.

Faunus stood up. ' _Hold on tight. If you fall I won't be able to catch you, Issei,_ ' it said before it turned to Yuri who stood on its shoulder. ' _Where to, little one?'_

"That way!" Yuri declared, pointing into the distance. "Onward!"

My grip tightened even more as I felt Faunus' muscles coil and tense.

A moment later I was glad that I did. A shriek ripped from my lips as Faunus launched itself into the air like a rocket. The world blurred into streaks of white and red, only to come to an abrupt stop as we slammed into the side of a white building hard enough that I was certain that something had been knocked loose inside me.

The pause lasted for as long as it took for Faunus to orientate itself, which wasn't long at all. My scream of surprise was lost to the wind as we took to the air again and my eyes shut on reflex. After several long seconds of wind whipping by, I forced myself to open my eyes.

Less than a foot away, standing on Faunus' shoulder and holding on for dear life, Yuri stood, her wings wrapped tightly around her and her shaggy blonde hair whipping back and forth wildly.

I couldn't see her face, but I could certainly hear the scream of excitement that she was giving off despite the rush of wind.

I tore my gaze away from her and looked down.

I immediately regretted that decision.

We were high.

Very high.

I could see everything.

Down below the city scape spread without end, all the way to the horizon and then beyond. From directly above I could make out individual buildings as squares of white surrounded by a thin grid of black, but even at the slightest angle they all began to blend together into a single blank white canvas.

But, that wasn't all I saw.

Despite the speed we moved at, I could make out discolourations amongst the blank white.

Like dead pixels on a monitor, they stood out.

How could they not?

They were the only colour in an empty void.

They were the demesnes.

From down below you'd be lucky to see one every few dozen blocks, but from up here, high in the sky...

I could see them all, and let me tell you, there were a lot of them.

They came in all shapes and sizes—some small, almost insignificant, barely bigger than a house, others were gigantic, spanning acres.

' _Brace yourself._ '

I did—and just in time.

Faunus landed hard and Yuri gave a shriek of surprise as she held on for dear life.

' _Which direction?_

Yuri blinked rapidly, before giving a shake of her head and focusing. "I… I think… that way?" she said, lifting a hand up and pointing away from the dark sun.

' _How far?_ '

"Uhm… I think… it's about…kind of far?" Yuri bit down on her bottom lip as she struggled to put into words what her ability was telling her. "I can tell you when we need to stop, is that okay?" she said, giving Faunus an unsure smile.

I didn't blame her for not being able to.

Distance made no sense in the World of Desire and it was meaningless to try and make sense of it.

From what I could tell, it didn't match up to the real world at all. You could enter the world in front of an ordinary house in the real world, run a kilometre away, and return, only to find that you'd moved a barely a dozen meters.

In other places, a single step could take you across the entire city.

There was no rhyme or reason to it—Yuri had the uncanny ability to be able to pick out the right place to exit into the real world, or enter directly in front of a demesne, but that was something that was beyond me. Without her I'd be wandering aimlessly and blindly.

It was a terrifying prospect.

All the same, I hadn't exactly been able to teach her what the different between a meter and a kilometre was so it didn't come as a surprise that she wasn't able to explain how far we needed to go.

"Are they still moving?" I asked Yuri, my voice completely and utterly even, and definitely not high pitched due to the sheer level of adrenaline pumping through me.

"Yep! But they're going in circles for some reason," Yuri said, frowning. "Why would they do that?"

I blinked.

"They must be trying to find a car park," I concluded. "Depending on where the restaurant is in Kuoh, it is almost impossible to find one," I explained.

' _Doesn't matter. Hold on._ '

Faunus crouched down briefly before launching itself into the air.

Yuri gave a shriek of delight as we sailed through the air once more.

I also gave a shriek.

I can't say that it was one of delight, though.

I was getting used to Air-Faunus all the same, and after several moments I managed to open my eyes and crane my neck, looking down below and watching as the white city passed by beneath us.

My eyes widened in recognition as I spied several demesnes that I'd visited in the past few weeks—the most prominent of which was a massive stone colosseum that I'd raided a few days ago. I knew from experience that it matched up to a popular sports stadium that was used by the local teams.

The stadium in question was on the outskirts of the city, a good half hour of travel time from my house in the real world by bike.

"Damn we're moving fast!" I said loudly—which barely registered against the sound of the wind as it whipped by.

More and more of the white city passed by below us, and as it did I saw more and more demesnes each unique and fascinating in their own way.

I almost couldn't believe my eyes as I spied one the size and shape of a literal mountain, complete with lush greenery, clouds and even a waterfall down its side—there was a freaking rainbow!

What the hell kind of desire could have created something like _that_?

The mountain, despite its size, soon vanished over the horizon.

"We're here!" I heard Yuri shout.

After several moments of no response from Faunus, we began to descend noticeably, and the buildings below began to grow as we got lower and lower.

We passed by the tops of the white buildings and began to rapidly approach the street level.

I braced myself for impact.

It never came.

At the very last second Faunus put on the air brakes and all the momentum we had gathered magically vanished. There was a swirl of wind beneath his cloven feet that buffeted his landing briefly, before he touched down proper.

I shakily, dropped off of Faunus' back and onto the solid ground.

My legs felt like jelly.

"…If you could do that this entire time what was with the other landings?" I asked, giving Faunus an irritated look. "It felt like my insides were going to become outsides with how hard we landed before, right Yuri?" I looked to the winged girl who was still standing on my Personas' shoulder.

Yuri's feathered wings unfolded and she gave a shake, before flapping them and taking to the air. She turned toward me and gave a delirious smile. "I didn't mind! It was fun, right? It's hard flying that fast on my own! Can we do it again?"

I stared at her.

She had to be kidding.

That had been one of the single most nerve wracking experiences of my life! Not that I blamed Faunus—I was the one who asked him to bring us this far, after all, but still!

Man wasn't meant to fly outside of a pressurized steel tube!

I took a breath and exhaled, before forcing a smile onto my lips. "Maybe later, okay, Yuri?"

"Yes!" Yuri exclaimed in delight, clapping her hands.

' _If that's all, I'm going,_ ' Faunus said as it straightened up and gave a shake of its thick dark mane of fur.

"Thanks for your help man!" I said, smiling up at the tall Persona. "I'll be sure to put in a good word for you with Kiryuu's Shadow, alright?"

Faunus gave me an impossible to read look before he vanished in a flash of sapphire flames and returned to his place within my heart.

With Faunus gone, I took a moment to look around.

We'd landed in the middle of an intersection—not that there was any cause for concern. As far as I had seen, cars didn't exist in the World of Desire. Shades of varying degrees of solidness wandered along the footpath on either side of the road. When they reached the edge of the road they vanished, and appeared on the other side of the footpath—but that was equally common place where ever you went in this world.

All in all, there weren't really any identifiable landmarks that would let you say 'this is where I am'.

"So," I began to say as I turned back to Yuri. "Where do we cross over?" I asked.

The tiny blonde took a moment to glance around, before she glided over toward an otherwise unremarkable spot on the sidewalk, hovering above the heads of the Shades as they meandered along. "Here is good," she said, turning in the air and smiling at me.

I smiled back at her as I walked over.

Or, at least I tried to.

Maybe it was the ride over—or the sudden realization that I really was going to be going on a date with Kiryuu, but I was beginning to feel anxious—nervous you might even say.

I could feel butterflies moving around in my stomach, and I was feeling hot under the collar—which was weird since my shirt didn't have one.

"How do I look?" I asked suddenly, stopping before I reached her.

I looked down at myself, at the clothes that 'Toro-chan' had picked out for me. I reached up and brushed my fingers over the cream coloured sports jacket. It felt weird to touch, but weird in a good way.

Yuri floated over and stopped in front of me.

She stared intently at me, her silver eyes roaming over every inch of me.

I fidgeted, I couldn't help it.

"Well?"

"I think," Yuri began to say slowly. "That you look perfect!" She finished, smiling at me brightly and clapping her hands. "I'd totally hit that!"

I looked at her aghast. "Yuri!"

"What?" Yuri said defensively. "They say it all the time on the television!"

I frowned. "Just what are you watching when I'm not home?"

Yuri became the picture of innocence. "Documentaries," she said.

I would have called bullshit on that, but for some reason—whatever the reason was—my nerves had settled.

I sighed and smiled at her. "Thank you, Yuri. You're the best."

"I am!" she agreed happily, before swooping around to my back and beginning to push me toward the sidewalk. "Now come on! You're going to be late for your date!"

I laughed despite myself and began to walk forward into the thick of the Shades, only stopping once Yuri had stopped pushing.

"Alright! It's go time! Knock 'em dead!" Yuri said cheerfully as she reappeared in front of me. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Issei!" she said to me with an encouraging smile.

"Wait, you're not coming?" I asked, before blinking.

Wait.

Why would she come?

Why did I think she was going to be coming?

Why did the realization I was going alone make my nerves act up again?

I felt the tension in the air far too late to stop it.

"Wa—" I began to say, only for the words to die on my lips as the monotone world around me was swept away and a cacophony of colour and sound immediately bombarded me as I found myself alone in the middle of a very busy Kuoh street.

I was immediately swept up in the crowd, and had to physically stop myself from being carried along. With some effort, I managed to pull myself out of the crowd and under the awning of a nearby building.

I turned back to the crowd and found myself looking at a veritable sea of colour and people. There were people of all ages, wearing all sorts of clothes—and they were everywhere. The street had been blocked off from what I could see, and the road itself was covered in dozens of temporary stalls.

"Issei?"

I blinked and turned.

My heart skipped a beat as I made eye contact. "K-Kiryuu?"

Kiryuu stood several feet away—or at least I think it was Kiryuu.

The girl in front of me wore a white cardigan, beneath which she wore a black mid-thigh length dress covered in pink circles of carrying sizes and shade. The dress dipped ever so slightly at the front, showing the faintest hint of something—so faint, that unless you were actively looking at her chest you wouldn't have noticed. She wore a pair of slim black shoes and clutched a small off-white handbag in her hands against her stomach.

That part of what I saw was standard—cute, but standard.

What really caught my attention, and confused me, was—for once—everything above the neck.

She wasn't wearing glasses for one—her pretty green eyes were wide and were staring right back at me.

The second thing was her hair. It wasn't done up in her usual pigtails—but then it wasn't like her Shadow's hair either. To compare them would have been silly in the first place. Her Shadow's looks had been dazzling, they were everything she wanted to be—but in the end, they weren't really her, were they?

To put it simply, Kiryuu had let her hair down and I was confronted by the sudden desire for her to do it more often.

"You look nice," I—she—we both said.

My—her—our cheeks went red at the same time.

"Did you get a haircut?" Kiryuu asked suddenly.

I gave an awkward laugh and reached up, rubbing the back of my neck. "Y-yeah," I said. "What do you think?"

"You look different without messy hair," she said after a moment, a small smile appearing on her lips.

My brow furrowed. "In a good or bad way?"

Kiryuu considered my question. "I'm not sure yet," she said finally, before smirking and setting a hand onto her hip. "But really, you went to a lot of trouble to impress me on our 'date' didn't you?" she asked, her tone one of teasing.

Two could play at that game.

"Of course," I said, smiling right back at her. "It's our first official date, how could I not do my best to impress? But the same could be said about you, couldn't it, Aika? I've never seen you with your hair down like this, it's a good look for you."

To her credit, she managed to retain her composure in response to my 'Directed Compliment Assault.' "Of course," she said airily, reaching up and flicking her hair over her shoulder with the back of her hand. "Why do you think I always have my hair in pigtails? I couldn't have silly boys like you falling for me, could I?"

"If you put it that way I suppose not," I said, turning my gaze out toward the crowd and the festivities on the street. "What's going on?" I asked, glancing back at her. "I didn't realize there was a festival on."

Kiryuu shrugged a shoulder. "I don't know. I think it's something to do with showcasing local food or something. They picked a terrible night for it," she complained. "This kind of development is the worst. "It's like a bad manga plot, isn't it? The next thing you know someone from school is going to show up."

"It's not like it'd matter much at this point, would it? Everyone already 'knows' that we're together."

Kiryuu scoffed. "There's a difference between them 'knowing' and having proof."

I grinned at her. "You don't think giving me a kiss in front of the whole school was proof enough?"

Kiryuu blanched and averted her eyes. "I-It was just on the cheek, you perv!" she said defensively, "Don't read into it!"

"Or how about calling me 'loverboy' in front of the whole class?"

Kiryuu jerked back as though she'd been physically struck. "T-that was just a ruse!"

I laughed.

"A ruse? What are you, an American gangster?"

Kiryuu glowered at me and opened her mouth to deliver what was certain to be a scathing retort, only for her parents to appear from the crowd.

Her mother wore a deep blue ruffled cocktail dress that exposed her shoulders. She wore a pair of matching heels and held a small purse in her hand. Her hair was tied back into a low ponytail and she had a light dusting of makeup on her features.

Kiryuu's father on the other hand wore a pair of dark dress pants as well as a tight fitted black dress shirt with gold embroidery along the sides and arms. He was clean shaven and the stern look that he had on when he had first met me was missing, and a calmer, relaxed one had taken its place—at least until he noticed me.

"Aika, sweetie—Oh! Issei-kun." Kiryuu's mother said in surprise as she saw me standing beside her daughter. She smiled. "Good evening, did you have much trouble getting here?" She glanced out at the crowds with disapproval.

"It wasn't too much trouble," I said. "You look almost as cute as Aika does, Kiryuu-san," I complimented her.

She tittered and gave me a pleased look. "Such a charmer. I can see why Aika fell for you."

"Issei-kun."

I forced myself to smile as I turned my attention to Kiryuu's father as he stepped toward me and extended his hand.

I braced myself mentally, emotionally and physically as I extended my own hand.

This time I was ready!

The best defence was a good offence!

The moment our palms touched I clamped down with my own fingers, squeezing firmly. My grip was met by a stronger pressure, but without the half-assed effort I had given the first time, I managed to avoid getting my fingers crushed!

Kiryuu's father smiled as we shook hands. "Better," he said to me, before releasing his grip on my hand.

"Thank you, Kiryuu-san," I said politely as I dropped my hand to my side.

"Satoru will do," he said, before turning his gaze to his wife. "Shall we go inside? We will be a bit early but I'm sure they can accommodate us."

"Yes, I think so," Kiryuu's mother said with a nod. "It will certainly be preferable to the noise out here," she said in distaste.

Kiryuu's father—Satoru—stepped ahead, and his wife fell into step beside him as he walked purposefully.

"Come on," Kiryuu said to me, turning and quickly following after her parents, her handbag clutched in her hands. "We don't want to get separated."

"Right," I said with a nod, quickly following after and falling into step beside Kiryuu.

"So, where are we going?" I asked.

Kiryuu gave me an odd look. "How did you get here if you don't know where we're going for dinner?"

I… had no response to that.

Kiryuu rolled her eyes. "Never mind. It's a place called Fukamachi. They're famous for their tempura," she said to me as we walked.

"Do you go there often with your parents?" I asked as I carefully walked through the crowd.

Kiryuu shook her head. "No, this is my first time," she explained. "They come here once a year, this is the first time they've taken me. I'm actually a bit excited," she paused and sent me a small smirk. "Despite present company."

"Why once a year?"

Kiryuu hesitated a moment, before she grimaced. "No point in not telling you," she said with a sigh. "It's for their anniversary," she said, glancing aside at me. "It's the place where they had their first date."

Oh, well then.

This just became all kinds of uncomfortable.

Kiryuu wasn't anything if not perceptive. She picked up on my unease in an instant. "Exactly," she said, her nose crinkling in annoyance. "It's sappy and romantic—and they're forcing us to come along as well!" she complained, before amending herself. "Well, me. You're just here as camouflage. "

Right.

The 'Lesser of Two Evils' as Kiryuu's Shadow had said.

Before I was able to begin to probe her on the subject, her parents stopped walking.

Most of the buildings in Kuoh were fairly new—either newly built, rebuilt, or renovated. The building they stopped in front—well, it wasn't even a building. It was as if someone had taken a small house and squeezed it in between two large grey buildings. It had a bright red awning covering the front, which was a pale cream colour. There were two thin, tall windows to one side, and a wooden screen door on the other. There was a tiny plaque that read 'Fukamachi' beside the door, along with an old, weathered sign that read 'Reservation Only'.

I could see in through the windows, and saw several chefs standing behind benches and cooktops. The inside wasn't much bigger than the outsides from the looks of things.

Satoru stepped up toward the door and opened it, holding it for his wife. I saw Kiryuu's mother flash her husband a brief sidelong smile as she entered.

"Coming in?" Satoru asked as he turned his attention to Kiryuu and me.

Kiryuu flashed her father a smile and quickly followed after her mother.

I did the same, muttering a brief thank you under my breath as I passed by the taller man and entered the restaurant.

I had been right. It was pretty small inside—in a warm and intimate way. It had a great, comforting atmosphere and reminded me of eating at home.

On one side was the kitchen where the chefs stood in their white uniforms. One was an older grey-haired man with a wizened look about him, and beside him a younger woman. One side of the kitchen was covered by several plates and bowls, neatly organized and prepped, the other side was hidden by two copper shields that protected the counter from whatever was behind them.

There was a single table in the form of a countertop that stretched along the kitchen, in front of which were several chairs and on top of which there were a variety of condiments, plates, napkins and more.

Satoru stepped past me with a warm smile on his lips as he walked up to the counter and began to talk with the older Chef.

I paid little attention to what they were saying and took a moment to eye the seating arrangement.

It was a straight table.

We'd be sitting side by side.

Obviously Kiyuu's parents would sit next to each other—it was their anniversary after all. Kiryuu would sit next to one of them, that was standard, right? That meant I'd be sitting next to Kiryuu a full chair space away from her parents, rather than being forced to sit across from them and make conversation.

Score!

"What did you and Kiba talk about after I left?" Kiryuu asked suddenly.

I looked to her in surprise. "Nothing important," I said. "He just said he was too busy for our weekly training."

"That's right," the brown-haired girl said with a slow nod. "I'd heard that you and him were spending some time together." Her lips turned upward into a smirk as she eyed me. "You should thank me."

I frowned. "Why?" I asked.

Kiryuu blinked and then laughed. "Wait, you don't know?" She brought a hand up to cover a massive grin. "The girls at school have been talking about how much time you've been spending together, and how you've taken up 'sword fighting' with him."

I felt the blood drain out of my face.

She was… she was lying.

She had to be!

I looked at her.

No.

No, she was telling the truth.

How else would she know?

I hadn't told anyone about my private sessions with that damned handsome bastard! The only way anyone would know was if… if…

I clenched my fist at my side.

God dammit Kiba. I told you to stop calling it that!

You were going to give the girls weird ideas!

"…Okay," I said after a moment of collecting myself. "In that case, then we're even."

"Even?" Kiryuu said with a raised eyebrow.

"Even," I said with a nod, stepping over toward the bench where Kiryuu's parents were still standing and chatting with the elder chef and pulled a chair out, before turning back to Kiryuu and offering her a charming smile. "Would you like to sit down, Aika?"

"Such a gentleman," Kiryuu's mother said with a pleased smile as she took notice. I ignored her, and focused on her daughter instead, my smile fixed into place.

Kiryuu's eyes narrowed and she gave a forced smile. "Thank you Issei," she said, moving toward the chair, and then sitting down on it. I pushed it closer, before stepping around to the side opposite her parents and taking my own seat.

I pulled my seat in beside me and smiled at Kiryuu, and as I did, I saw past her to her father, who was giving me a look. He stopped the moment he saw me look, and instead smiled at his wife and repeated my totally chivalrous and entirely unselfish action.

"Would you like to sit down, Ai?" Satoru asked his wife, giving her a warm smile and repeating my totally chivalrous and entirely unselfish gesture.

I blinked.

"…Ai?"

My brow furrowed and I looked toward my 'girlfriend'.

Kiryuu winced and looked away from me, her cheeks taking on a tinge of pink. "Don't…"

"Your mother's name is Ai, Aika?" I asked, unable to hold back my grin.

"Don't…" Kiryuu gave me a dirty look that could have withered a plant. "I can make your life miserable at school," she said, "Don't test me on this."

I was given pause. "That… is a good point," I said.

It went without saying that she was capable of dishing out more social damage than I was. Her sharing part of her name with her mother was the single bullet I had at my disposal. In a drawn out battle she would no doubt emerge victorious, especially so if she took the 'ex-girlfriend' stance.

If romantic comedies had taught me anything, it was that everyone always believed whatever the girl said. She could easily say something like 'he was bad in bed'—but that in and of itself was definitely a case of mutually assured destruction, a double-edged sword if ever there was one!

Kiryuu regarded me for a long moment. "That's what I thought," she said, nodding to herself.

I decided to change the subject.

"So, where are the menus?" I asked casually as I looked along the table top. There didn't seem to be one—nor was there one hanging up anywhere.

Both of the Chefs had already begun to move as well. One of them were whisking up a batter with a pair of chopsticks, while the other was standing beside him and cleaning and deveining what looked to be several smallish prawns.

"It's Omakase," Kiryuu explained.

"Oh. Cool."

Omakase was a fancy way of saying that the chef decides on what you get to eat. It was a good option if you had confidence in the chef—they'd give you something great to eat, but you couldn't exactly pick and choose. Depending on the place it was definitely for the adventurous sort!

"Well, they say Omakase, but from what moms told me, the Chef always serves them the same stuff they had on their first date."

That was sort of touching.

I glanced past Kiryuu to Satoru who had taken a seat on the far side of her mother, Ai. Despite the sharp lines of his face and his demeanour when I had first met him… could it be he was actually a good guy? You wouldn't think a guy who looked like that was the sentimental type, but I guess looks could be very deceiving.

Maybe he had been playing up the whole 'disapproving father' thing?

He noticed me looking, and his smile dimmed a fraction. "Have you ever been here before, Issei?" He asked me.

"No," I said with a shake of my head. "I'm excited though, K—Aika was just telling me about how you come here every year for your anniversary."

"Did she now?" Satoru said and glanced toward his daughter.

"What? It wasn't a secret," Kiryuu said with a shrug of the shoulder.

"No, I suppose it wasn't," her father conceded, before turning his attention back to me. "So, how did you both meet?" he asked. "Aika has been tight lipped about the whole affair."

I looked to Kiryuu in askance.

She shrugged a shoulder, as if to say 'your choice'.

Well, if it was my choice then… how did we meet?

I thought about it.

"I guess we met during the first week of school?" I said, looking to Kiryuu for confirmation.

Kiryuu thought about it for a moment before nodding. "That's right. During… physical education, right?"

I nodded to myself.

That's right.

Kiryuu had called me out on checking out the girls while they were doing standard physical tests. I had thought I was being discrete, and to be fair, I was. I just hadn't been discrete enough to hide form the discerning eye of a certain girl who had been counter-perving.

Good times.

I smiled at Kiryuu despite myself. "Not the best first impression, was it?"

"Better than some others who won't be named," Kiryuu said, sending me an amused look. "At least you were upfront."

"I'll… take the compliment," I said after a moment, giving her a sheepish smile.

Satoru raised an eyebrow. "Care to share?"

I gave an awkward laugh and reached up to scratch my cheek. "W-well, you know. Boy stuff."

To my relief, before Kiryuu's father could grill me on exactly what constituted 'boy stuff' the first dish of the evening was served.

The younger of the two chefs placed a red oval tray in front of each of us, on which sat several different condiments, including; a small bowl of salt, several slices of lemon, an amber liquid that smelt of soy sauce, bonito and mirin and what looked like grated radish.

"Maki Ebi," the older chef said and placed a thinly battered prawn in front of each of us. He gestured toward the condiments. "Lemon."

I glanced down past Kiryuu to her parents, and watched what they did.

Kiryuu's mother—Ai—picked up a slice of lemon and squeezed the juice onto the tempura in front of her, before using a set of chopsticks to pick it up and bite down.

She let out a moan of delight and covered her lips with her fingers. "It's as good as the first time. How do you do it?"

I turned my attention to my own plate and did what she did, squeezing some lemon on the tempura, before picking it up with my chopsticks.

I bit down.

My eyes widened.

A soft crunch followed by a delicious explosion of flavour!

Someone moaned nearby.

I blinked.

Oh.

It was me.

I chewed slowly, before swallowing.

"…That was amazing," I said, before frowning as I saw that the space between my chopsticks was empty.

I could have sworn I had half of it left… had I eaten it without even realizing?

I glanced over at Kiryuu.

Her eyes were closed and a content smile sat on her lips as she slowly chewed on her tempura.

"Good, isn't it?"

I looked over to Satoru who had an amused smirk on his lips. "Best tempura I've had in all of Japan," he said to me.

"It was amazing," I said with a smile. "I can see why you and your wife come here every year, Kiryuu-san."

He smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. He picked a glass up from the table and held it up. The younger of the two chefs stopped what they were doing and vanished behind a curtain, before reappearing several seconds later with a bottle in hand. His glass was filled with a clear liquid in short order, followed by his wife's glass.

The short haired man took a sip of his drink, before he set it down and turned his attention back to me. "So, what are your interests, Issei?" He asked. "Interested in sports? Video games?"

Breasts!

The answer was definitely breasts, not that I could tell him that.

"I'm not too interested in sports," I said honestly. "But I've recently taken up kendo, that's been sort of fun."

Satoru raised an eyebrow. "Kendo? That's respectable. I did kendo when I was in high school, never took it seriously. You any good?"

"I'd like to think so," I said with a brief smile, before turning my gaze to Kiryuu who had been listening in. "How great is the tempura?"

"It's good," Kiryuu said simply, licking her lips. "There's more, right?" she asked, glancing toward her parents.

Ai let out a soft laugh and nodded. "You'll love the aralia," she told her daughter before giggling. "Who am I trying to kid? It's all wonderful!" She took a sip of her drink, before noticing me looking.

She smiled at me. "Tell me something about yourself, Issei-kun."

Well… crap.

What a horribly open-ended question. I found myself immediately struggling with an appropriate answer. There were a lot of things I could say—a lot of things I could say about myself—but the majority of them would definitely trigger a bad end flag for the 'Kiryuu Route', as Motohama would say.

"Something about myself," I said, more to fill the air and stall for time as I considered what I could say.

"Issei doesn't like talking about himself much," Kiryuu said coming to my aid. "Why don't we talk about something else?" she suggested.

"Now, now. Aika, we invited your boyfriend to dinner so we could get to know him," Satoru said, lifting a hand up to stop Kiryuu from changing the subject. "Surely there is something he can tell us about himself?"

"Well, I'm getting involved with the student council at school," I said after a moment.

Kiryuu turned toward me, her eyebrows raised. "You are?"

I smiled at her and nodded. "I am," I said. "In fact, after school tomorrow the student president invited me to attend a meeting they're having about an event they're holding at school soon."

Ai looked suitably impressed. "My, I hadn't realized that you were so conscientious and diligent," she said. "Do you help out at school a lot, Issei-kun?"

Kiryuu regarded me for a long moment, before her eyes widened a fraction. She smiled at me, before calmly asking, "Yes, do you, Issei?"

I went still and felt a shiver go down my spine.

She knew the reason I was interested in joining the student council.

"No," I said, giving Kiryuu a sheepish smile. "But I've been trying to improve myself, become a better student, a better friend, and I guess, a better boyfriend."

Unseen by her parents, Kiryuu made a face and stuck out her tongue, even as her mother swooned behind her.

The next dish arrived before another question could be sent my way.

"Fukinoto," the Chef said, and gestured toward the dish of amber liquid. "Mix grated daikon into the tentsuyu. Please enjoy."

I looked down at the tempura that had been served.

It looked like a cross between a brussels sprout and a flower bulb. It was coated in the same airy, pale gold batter that the prawn had been. The batter looked impossibly thin on it.

I glanced down the table and saw Kiryuu's parents mixing in some daikon, before dipping the tempura in and then eating.

"Here," Kiryuu said, before unceremoniously dumping a large blob of daikon into my dish and vigorously mixing it in.

"Real mature," I said to her with a roll of my eyes, internally vowing to have my revenge, even as I picked the tempura up with my chopsticks and mimicked her parents.

I bit down on the tempura.

There was a faint crunch from the batter, followed by an explosion of flavours.

Sweet, sour, salty—and bitter, oh so bitter! But undeniably delicious.

I chewed, savouring the flavour, before finishing off the remainder and licking my lips.

There was a lingering bitterness on my tongue that was hard to ignore.

What followed after that was probably one of the more refined and delicious meals I could remember. With each new piece of tempura, the chef would make a suggestion of how to best enjoy it.

I may or may not have casually dropped a bit of daikon onto the salt on Kiryuu's plate while she was distracted by her parents. She didn't notice until she went for a pinch of it and ended with daikon squished between her fingers.

The look on her face had been priceless.

All good things eventually come to an end, and so did dinner. The final dish was a dessert that came in the form of a perfect sphere of green tea ice cream that had the density of marsh mellow and the consistency of smooth peanut butter.

It took a physical effort not to ask for seconds.

This had been, without a doubt, the best meal I'd had since my parents left.

Beside me Kiryuu looked fairly content. She was leaning back in her chair with her eyes closed and a pleasant smile on her lips.

As if sensing my attention, Kiryuu's eyes opened and she glanced over at me. "What?" she asked.

"Nothing," I said, smiling back at her. "This was nice," I told her. "I really enjoyed myself."

"It was pretty nice," Kiryuu acknowledged, straightening up. "I can see why they come here every year," she said, glancing sidelong at her parents.

Ai was leaning against Satoru. Her cheeks were dusted with a faint blush and she was smiling at him. Satoru himself was struggling to maintain a composed expression from his wife's open affection.

"I need some fresh air," Satoru said all of a sudden, gently straightening his wife up, before standing up and walking toward the exit.

As he passed by me a hand firmly clapped down on my shoulder. "Come outside and let's have a chat, Issei-kun," he said, smiling down at me.

"Sure," I said, before glancing at Kiryuu and standing.

"I'll join you," Kiryuu said, and made to stand.

"Aika, stay with your mother, would you?" Satoru said, smiling down at his daughter.

"Okay," Kiryuu said reluctantly as she sat back down. "We're leaving soon, right?" she asked, looking over at her dad. "I was hoping to spend some time with Issei before we did."

"We won't be long," Satoru reassured his daughter. "Just some guy talk. Come, Issei."

I held in a grimace and instead shrugged a shoulder and smiled at Kiryuu before turning and following Satoru out of the restaurant.

The air outside was cool and the crowds had begun to thin out as the festivities had begun to wind down.

Satoru walked several steps away from the entrance to the restaurant, before turning back and pulling out a slim, business card sized silver box from his pants pocket. He gave a flick of his wrist and the front of it swung open to reveal a row of cigarettes. He pulled one out and placed it between his lips before offering the silver case to me.

"I uh, don't smoke," I said awkwardly, giving him an apologetic smile.

Satoru nodded, before closing the cigarette case and sliding it into his pocket and pulling out a lighter. He lit the cigarette between his lips and took a deep drag before exhaling through his nose. "Good. Smoking is a terrible habit," he said, holding the lit cigarette in one hand. "It's like marriage, you're either in it for life, or in for a world of hurt if you try to escape it."

I laughed.

Satoru regarded me for a long moment. "I was being serious."

I stopped laughing. "Uh, sorry," I said awkwardly, reaching up and scratching my cheek. "Thanks for inviting me out to dinner," I said, turning my gaze from Kiryuu's father to the people that were meandering around the street. "I enjoyed it a lot."

"Least I could do," Satoru said, before taking another drag of his cigarette. "I remember my first date. I wanted my daughter's to be better."

That was… either really nice of him or… a total insult toward me.

Probably both.

"Issei," Satoru said suddenly, turning to face me. "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

I blinked.

What a strange question.

What was this, a job interview?

"I've never thought about it," I admitted. "College, I guess?" I said after a moment.

Satoru nodded, accepting my answer. "A reasonable answer," he said after a long moment. "But not what I was talking about. I meant with my daughter. Do you believe you'll still be together?"

"I hope so."

A ghost of a smile passed over the older man's lips.

He flicked the butt of his cigarette and a scattering of ash fell from the tip. "I know my daughter," he said. "If I disapprove of you, or tell her that she can't date you, she'll commit to whatever… this is," he said, gesturing toward me.

He stepped closer to me and reached over to my shoulder with his empty hand, clasping my shoulder and smiling down at me. "So, you have my blessing. Make my daughter as happy as you can until she's tired of you, and then, move on. Do we have an understanding?"

I swallowed a lump that had formed in my throat and nodded. "We do," I said.

Satoru gave my shoulder a squeeze before dropping his hand. "I'm glad. You seem like a good kid."

I gave him a strained smile. "Thanks," I said. "I should probably get going."

Satoru waved his hand. "Nonsense. At least stay long enough to say good bye to the girls," he insisted with a smile. "You'll look bad if you leave without giving my daughter a kiss. My wife is quite fond of you, I'd hate to disappoint her."

"Right…" I said, doing my best to keep my facial expression neutral.

Things became a bit awkward.

I had no idea what to say.

What the hell was there even to say after that?

I really didn't want to be here anymore.

Kiryuu's father was scary.

I glanced over at him as he took another drag of his cigarette, and as I did, I noticed something.

At some point during the night he had unbuttoned the first few buttons of his dress shirt, and the top of his chest was visible, including what appeared to be the edge of a tattoo. "Nice… tattoo," I said after a moment.

Satoru raised an eyebrow, before glancing down. "Ah," he chuckled, before reaching up and buttoning up his shirt. "A legacy of a misspent youth," he said. "I volunteered to be a subject for a friend's first proper tattoo."

I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but even I could tell that was a flat out lie.

"Cool," I said. "So, what do you do?" I asked.

"I work in human resources," Satoru said, smiling at me. "It's tedious work, but it pays the bills, you understand?"

I nodded. "I do," I said, smiling nervously.

The door to the restaurant opened and Kiryuu appeared, followed by her mother.

Oh, thank god.

"Aika," I said, turning away from Satoru and smiling at her in relief.

Kiryuu blinked slowly, before frowning and turning to her father. "What did you say to him, daddy?"

Satoru gave his daughter an offended look. "Nothing," he said. "We were just chatting about the future, that's all."

"I should probably get going," I said quickly and stepped closer to her, extending my arms.

Kiryuu's eyes went wide as I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a hug. "Your dad freaks me out," I whispered into her ear. "You owe me for this." I hesitated a moment, before giving her a peck on the cheek.

"I do not," Kiryuu grumbled, her cheeks flushing as she disentangled herself from my arms. "…But thank you," she said, begrudgingly, offering me a brief smile. "Talk tomorrow?"

I nodded. "Sounds like a plan," I said, smiling back at her.

"Are you leaving already Issei-kun?" Kiryuu's mother asked, pouting softly, her cheeks flushed pink.

"School tomorrow, you know how it is," I said and turned toward Ai, offering her a smile. "Thank you so much for inviting me along. I enjoyed getting to know you and your husband very much," I said, bowing politely at the hips toward her.

It was of course, a flat out lie. I'd learned nothing about either of them. It had been a flat-out interrogation from the get go—the food had been great though. Definitely worth the awkward conversations we had had.

"Issei-kun…" Ai said softly, her lip wobbling. "Oh, come here!" She stepped toward me and I found myself suddenly engulfed by her arms, and my face pressed into her soft chest. "You're such a good boy, Aika is lucky to have such a good boyfriend!"

Ohmygodboobsthiswasthebest.

I felt my cheeks go red as the older woman held my face against her cleavage, before finally letting me go and stumbling toward her husband.

Best. Date. Ever.

I noticed Kiryuu glaring at me.

"What?" I said defensively. "It would have been rude to stop her, right?"

Kiryuu breathed in deeply through her nose, before exhaling. "Good night, Issei," Kiryuu said simply, her gleaming green eyes promising retribution.

"Good night, Aika," I said, smiling at my fake girlfriend.

I said goodbye to her parents once more, before turning and leaving.

I made it to the end of the block, before I realized that I was in for a long walk home.

…or was I?

Motohama actually lived reasonably close to the city, and knowing him and Matsuda, they were definitely still going to be up and around.

I hadn't told them that I _wouldn't_ be coming, after all.

I pulled my jacket tighter around me and began to make my way to my friends' place.

—~—


	12. Book One: Chapter Twelve

—~—

As I left the centre of Kuoh the air grew colder and the crowds thinned out noticeably. By the time I reached the city limits it had become quiet, and the sounds of the impromptu festival had faded. The only real noises were the sound of cars passing by and the occasional rustle of tree leaves.

But, despite the chill, I was smiling.

I'd officially gone on my first date!

I mean, sure it was a date with my 'fake girlfriend', but for all intents and purposes it counted! We'd had dinner, we'd hugged, I'd even given her a kiss!

Not to mention the hug Kiryuu's mother gave me!

I gave a sigh of contentment and reached up to my cheek, brushing my fingertips against it.

I could still feel the soft warmth of her chest against my face.

All in all, I'd say it had been a success.

As a date, at least.

Kiryuu's father had been… intense. I couldn't tell if he genuinely believed we were going out, or if he had seen through the entire thing.

I rubbed my hands together and breathed on them as I walked.

I suppose in the end it didn't matter.

I'd received his 'blessing' whatever that meant.

It felt weird to say it, but I was actually looking forward to seeing Kiryuu at school tomorrow!

Or… at least I should have been.

I frowned and dropped my hands to my sides, sliding them into the pockets of my pants as I walked..

This was it, wasn't it? Come tomorrow there would be no need to pretend anymore.

We'd gone on a 'date' and at least one of her parents were all but convinced we were actually going out.

I mean, it wasn't like we actually liked each other or anything after all. We could barely stand each other on the best of days. This entire thing had been her using me to avoid dealing with something her parents were trying to get her to do, hadn't it?

So why was I feeling sad?

"You should smile more."

I looked up as I was pulled from my thoughts and my eyes widened in recognition. "It's you…" I said, surprised.

A pair of amused violet eyes looked down at me from a top a nearby concrete fence. They belonged to a girl with long dark hair. The same girl that I had met a day prior on my way home from school. Her legs swung idly back and forth as she smiled down at me from behind a cloud of cotton candy. "Hi," she said, lifting a hand up to wave at me.

I'd completely forgotten about her, which considering how pretty she was, was a crime in and of itself.

I smiled up at her, before mentally checking to make sure that I hadn't already said hello.

"Hi."

The mystery girl hopped off the fence and landed with a noticeable bounce of certain body parts, before she straightened up. "How was your date?" she asked.

I blinked. "How did you know I was on a date?"

She tilted her head to the side, and her eyes dipped below my neck.

I glanced down and flushed as I remembered what I was wearing. "R-right, yeah." I gave an awkward laugh and reached up, scratching my cheek. "It was good, thanks," I said, before hesitating a moment. "…Were you waiting for me?"

"Maybe," she said, before tearing off a small piece of cotton candy and popping it into her mouth. She made a sound that put the moans that put the moans by the girls in the pornos I'd watched to shame and required that I subtly adjust how I was standing.

The smile she gave me told me she knew exactly what she'd been doing.

"S-so," I said, swallowing. "W-what are you doing out here?"

"Waiting for you," she said, giving me a teasing smile. She moved beside me and slipped one of her arms through mine, holding it against her and causing the side of her breast to press into my arm. "Let's walk," she suggested, and began to do just that.

My feet began to move by themselves, and I found myself walking arm in arm with the pretty girl beside me with a large chunk of my attention devoted to the wonderful thing pressed up against the side of my arm.

I also found myself with a question that I couldn't help but ask.

"Why?"

The dark-haired girl beside me considered my question. "I wanted to ask you a question," she said after a while.

"Wha—" I began to ask, only to suddenly have a piece of cotton candy shoved into my mouth.

It melted on contact with my mouth and a delicious sugary syrup formed, followed by an explosion of pure sweetness on my tongue.

"Good, isn't it?" the girl beside me asked with an amused smile. "One of humanity's greatest inventions."

I licked my lips. "It's good," I agreed, before hesitating to ask, "What did you want to know?"

"Let's talk about something else first," she suggested. "Like, your clothes. They're pretty cool you know? I'd love to know where you found them," she said with an interested expression.

"They are pretty cool, aren't they?" I said, unable to help myself. I brought a hand up and brushed my fingertips down over the front of the linen jacket. "I got them from a fashion designer named Toro-chan," I more or less boasted.

The violet eyed girl nodded with a smile. "You'll have to introduce me to her one day," she said as we walked.

"You know," I said suddenly, glancing down at the girl beside me. "You still haven't told me your name."

"I haven't decided on it yet," she said, giving me an impish smile.

"I don't think that's how names work," I said after a moment.

My mystery girl smiled at me. "It is when you're going to give a fake one."

Oh…

I felt a knot form in my stomach and I found myself suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.

She stopped walking suddenly, and with our arms intertwined, I was forced to do the same. "You're upset," the girl observed. "You shouldn't be," she said, her tone self-amused.

"Why shouldn't I be?" I asked, unable to keep the disbelief out of my voice.

"What is more meaningful, a name we are given when we are born, or one we choose for ourselves?"

I frowned. "But you said you were going to give a fake one," I pointed out. "If it's a fake name you make up on the spot, how can it be meaningful?"

She regarded me for a long moment, before throwing her head back and laughing.

Her laughter was beautiful and infectious—and more importantly, with every laugh she gave, her chest jiggled against my arm.

It was… awesome.

I did my best to resist, but no matter how hard I tried, the corners of my lips began to turn up and soon enough I was smiling, despite my misgivings.

I couldn't help it!

I was only human after all.

"S-sorry," she managed to say through her laughter and after several seconds managed to sober up.

She looked at me in a strange way.

I couldn't put words to describe it.

She wasn't quite looking at me as much as she was looking through me.

"You're different."

"From yesterday?"

She blinked once and then smiled. "Yes," she said, before tilting her head and directing her gaze above my eyeline. "Did you get a haircut?" She asked and tightened her hold on my arm. I felt the side of her breast press even firmer against my arm—I could feel her softness contouring to the shape of my forearm! I could feel the warmth of her body even through my jacket!

It took everything I had to keep from losing my composure.

"Y-you noticed?" I gave a forced laugh and glanced away, not trusting myself to be able to speak and look at her at the same time—not with the heavenly sensation I was currently experiencing! To my relief, she began to walk once more and I had an excuse to get my blood flowing through my body once again.

"Do you think I'm pretty?" She asked as we walked.

Did I think she was pretty? Surely that was a rhetorical question.

She had soft, fair skin, a pristine complexion, beautiful long dark hair, exotic violet eyes and a body to die for!

Her voice was gentle and sweet and her smile was adorable.

She had an effortless attractiveness that most girls never reached, and the ones that did usually spent hours on! As close as I was to her, I couldn't see or smell a hint of makeup!

She was an eleven no matter how you cut it.

Which begged the question; why she was asking?

My first instinct was to scream out how hot she was—to reassure her that she was drop dead gorgeous and that if given the chance, the things I'd do to her would make veteran porno stars blush—blame my friends.

That was my first instinct.

I resisted it.

"I think you're beautiful," I said finally. "One of the prettiest girls I've ever met."

A pleased look overtook the dark-haired girl's features and to my disappointment, the pressure of her breast against my arm seemed to lessen and become more relaxed.

We walked in silence for several blocks, the only sounds coming from the cars that passed by and the faint rustling of the occasional tree. The breeze carried with it a chill that caused my mystery girl to shiver and cling to me tighter to my delight.

For not the first time I found myself wondering why a beautiful girl like this was so interested in… well, me. At first, I had thought it was a cruel prank, and that other girls were going to spring out and laugh at me after I made a fool of myself, but… I didn't think was the case anymore.

The way she smiled.

The warmth of her body as she clung to my arm…

Her mere presence was intoxicating.

"Would you break up with your girlfriend for me?"

I blinked, certain I had misheard her.

"What?"

She smiled at me. "I want you to break up with your girlfriend."

I almost stumbled.

I found myself staring at her in a mixture of disbelief and shock. "Why?" I couldn't help but ask.

She gave me a look that made me feel like I was the one who had said something strange and outlandish instead of her. "I don't want you to be conflicted when I seduce you," she said, before offering me the cotton candy she held in her other hand.

I… what?

My brain ceased to function as It struggled to process the meaning of her words.

I don't want you to be conflicted when I seduce you.

That would imply that she planned to seduce me.

A girl—a hot one—intended on seducing me.

It was as if someone had told me that water wasn't wet.

I couldn't comprehend it, such a wonderful set of words strung together!

Such a thing existed outside of the laws of my reality.

I should be jumping for joy and crying manly tears of excitement! Praising the heavens for such a wonderful string of words coming out of such a perfect pair of lips.

She _wanted_ to seduce me.

She _wanted_ me.

She didn't want to use me for an ulterior motive like tricking her parents by pretending to be her boyfriend!

But… What was this strange sensation that I was feeling?

There was excitement—elation even—mixed with a bit of trepidation and unease.

"We've arrived."

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at the girl beside me, before looking at where we had walked to.

We stood on the sidewalk in front of the entrance to a large apartment complex.

This was… Motohama's place?

I looked back at the girl attached to my arm in surprise. "How?"

"How what?"

"How did we get here?" I asked.

Had I walked us here? I hadn't even been thinking about where my feet were taking me.

The violet eyed girl giggled and slowly—regrettably—detached herself from my arm. "We walked of course," she said, smiling at me as she stepped away. I noticed that the cotton candy that she'd had was gone. All that remained of it was the stick that had been attached to it. "I've decided," she said.

"On what?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Rei," she said simply.

"Rei?" I echoed, my brow furrowing, before my eyes widened a fraction. "Wait, is that your—?"

"My name? Yes," she said and drew a hand up to her chest, clasping it over one of her breasts firmly, causing the material of her dress to go flush with it, emphasising just how… how shapely it was. "Nara Rei," she introduced herself.

"Nara… Rei," I said, rolling the name off my tongue slowly. "That's a… Japanese name," I said after a moment.

She wasn't Japanese.

She nodded happily. "It is! Do you like it?"

I looked at her for a long moment.

She looked back, her violet eyes wide and glimmering with a hope that surprised me.

"It's… a good name."

A tension that I hadn't noticed seemed to release from her posture, and the relief showed on her face.

"I'm glad," Rei said softly, before she drew her hands behind her back, emphasising her chest as she slowly stepped toward me. "I need to go now," she said as she got closer and began to lean forward.

My mouth went dry and my eyes widened as I realized what she was doing—what she wanted to do.

"Issei! Is that you?"

I looked up in surprise and saw my two best friends leaning on the edge of a balcony two storeys up and waving at me.

I looked back at Rei, only to find that she'd left. I quickly looked around for a sign of her, only to find none.

Where had she gone? Why did she leave without saying good bye or… or finishing what we were doing?

"Come on up! I'll unlock the door!" Motohama called down, before he vanished from the balcony.

A few seconds later I heard the door to the apartment complex buzz as it was remotely unlocked.

I reluctantly stopped looking for Rei and made my way to the door, only to find that my delay had resulted in it relocking.

I backed up and called up to my friends. "It's locked again!"

Matsuda turned to relay the message to Motohama, and I quickly moved back to the door, waiting until it buzzed, before letting myself in and closing the door behind me. I made my way up the stairs to Motohama's apartment and knocked on the door. His father opened the door and I was let inside without any fuss.

I found my friends in Motohama's bedroom. Motohama was sitting on his computer chair while Matsuda was relaxing on the edge of the formers bed.

"Hey guys," I said, smiling as I entered.

They both looked at me as though they were seeing something deeply unsettling.

"I…Issei is that… you?" Matsuda asked in surprise.

I frowned. "What kind of question is that?" I asked, unable to keep my annoyance out of my tone as I dropped down on the edge of Motohama's bed, sitting next to Matsuda.

"…Is this the power of having a girlfriend?" Motohama asked, his voice quiet as he looked at me, his gaze intense and unnerving, before he rounded on Matsuda. "I thought you said he was all messed up!"

Oh. Right. Matsuda had seen the state I was in, in the aftermath of Kiryuu's demesne.

"He was!" Matsuda said defensively, before looking toward me for support. "Right Issei?"

"It wasn't as bad as it looked," I said, offering him a smile. "I appreciated your concern though, Matsuda. You're a good friend."

"Who cares about his health!" Motohama exclaimed and jumped out of his chair. He rounded on me and I found myself suddenly being violated by a pair of very determined hands. "What's with these cool hip clothes?! Where the hell did you get this haircut?!" he demanded to know.

"Kyaaah!"

Motohama froze and stared down at me, before he jerked backwards as if he had been stung. "I… I don't know what came over me," he said shakily, before returning to his chair. "…I mean, I do. When the hell did you level up your charisma, Issei?" he asked, an annoyed look on his face. "Did Kiryuu do this to you… or did you do this for Kiryuu? I don't know which is the worse answer."

"…I don't think I can get married after that."

Motohama blanched. "D-don't phrase it like that!"

"Then don't molest me!"

"I wasn't molesting you!" Motohama denied instantly. "I was… inspecting you for tampering!"

"Inspecting," I repeated, giving him an incredulous look before turning my gaze to Matsuda.

Matsuda shrugged a shoulder. "He's right though. You look, well, looked good," he amended himself. "Before Motohama ruined you."

"Phrasing…"

"Ruined your outfit?"

"Thank you," I said tiredly.

"You look beat," Motohama admitted. "Was the date really that bad?"

"It… was actually kind of nice," I said after a moment, giving him a tired smile. "The food was great. Kiryuu was too. Her dad was a bit of a…" I struggled to find a word for what he was.

Matsuda and Motohama glanced at each other briefly.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," Motohama said immediately, before smiling. "Say, we were about to watch that porno I told you about. You still interested in watching it?" he asked even as he popped open a DVD case.

If I was being honest, all I really wanted to do was lay down and not wake up for a week. "You know what? That sounds great," I said, smiling at my friend before I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes. "Just going to close my eyes for a bit, that cool?"

"Huh, yeah, sure," Motohama said after a moment as he hopped off his chair and made his way over to his television with a disc in hand.

Several seconds later the back of my eyelids turned dark as one of my friends turned off the lights in the room and the adult oriented DVD began to play.

There were several seconds of silence before a remarkably catchy punk pop theme song began to play. "…Is that Kaben Rider Pinky?" I asked, forcing myself to crack open an eyelid to check.

Motohama's television shone brightly in the dark, but I managed to make out several quick scenes involving explosions, lewd dancing and clothing destruction.

Yep, Kaben Rider Pinky.

"Your ears do not deceive you!" Motohama exclaimed from somewhere to my right. I heard his chair squeak as he sat back down on it. "This is the latest masterwork staring Momo Momozono! In this one Pinky gets assaulted by her arch nemesis Cephalord!"

Ah, yes.

Cephalord.

A deranged former marine biologist who gained super powers after a freak accident involving a dozen different types of squid and a vat of supercharged pheromones that was struck by a gamma ray from the collapse of the supermassive star designated KR-4K-3N in the Nautilus Galaxy resulting in a half man, half squid abomination with tentacles for arms and an insatiable lust for used panties!

Truly his was a tragic backstory if ever there was.

I shifted around a bit so I could watch even as I laid there with my eyes half open. I couldn't stop a yawn escaping my lips a few seconds later—though I attempted to at least stifle it with my hand as the opening credits ended and the actual adult movie began.

And just as soon as it began, it was paused.

"I can't do it!" Motohama exclaimed, tossing the remote aside and swivelling his chair toward me. "I need to know everything! Tell me everything Issei! What was it like?!" he demanded to know. "Let me live vicariously through you!"

Matsuda coughed into his hand. "What he said," he said, giving Motohama a look.

I cracked a smile, unable to help it. "What do you want to know?" I asked, pushing myself up into a sitting position.

Motohama folded his arms across his chest and fell into deep thought as he considered just that.

Matsuda wasn't anywhere near as thoughtful with his question. "Have you kissed already?"

"Yep," I said with a grin.

Matusda's eyebrows rose to meet his non-existent hairline, and he leaned forwards. "On the lips?"

My grin faltered and I glanced away. "Well, no… just on the cheek, but that still counts, right?" I asked, glancing back toward my friends.

"It counts," Motohama conceded begrudgingly, before giving me a speculative look. "Does that mean you haven't actually… done anything with her?"

I briefly considered pretending that Kiryuu and I had—or at the very least using some innuendo to make it unclear. But, truth be told? Lying to my friends made me uncomfortable.

Kiryuu's parents believed that Kiryuu and I were actually dating, so there wasn't really any reason to keep up lying, was there? Plus, I trusted my friends. It wasn't like they were going to snitch on us the first chance they got.

"Actually… Kiryuu and I aren't really dating."

Matsuda flung himself onto his feet. "Aha!" He shouted, thrusting a finger toward Motohama. "I told you! I told you!" he exclaimed, before pausing, and then turning back toward me, his brow furrowed. "Wait, you aren't going out then… did you actually kiss her?"

I felt my cheeks flush and I looked away from my friends.

"You did!" He paused for a moment. "Wait… do you actually like her, Issei?"

"No!" I said instantly, before frowning. "I mean, maybe? I don't know. It's complicated," I said, distinctly uncomfortable. "I mean, It's _Kiryuu_ , you know? She's kind of cute, I'll admit that."

"Kiryuu… cute," Motohama repeated slowly, frowning. He closed his eyes and seemed to mull over those two words. "I guess I can see that," he said after a moment. "But you know, Issei, and it pains me to say this but… there are more to girls than just their looks you know?"

Matsuda and I both gave him a look.

Motohama held his hands up. "No, no. Before you say anything, hear me out, alright?"

"Alright," I said slowly.

Motohama smiled and nodded. "Now, sure Kiryuu might be cute, but there are other girls with even greater cuteness factors at the school—and they have better personalities as well." His nose scrunched up. "Kiryuu is… Kiryuu She's like a… a…"

"…female you?" Matsuda suggested.

Motohama snapped his fingers. "Exactly! Wait! No!" He shook his head viciously, before pausing, considering and then finally grimacing and shaking his head one last time to clear the mental image. "Look, what do you guys have in common? Nothing!"

"We're both perverts," I pointed out before sighing. "Look. It doesn't even matter, alright? Her parents think we're dating, so whatever reason she needed a fake boyfriend for is over," I said unhappily.

"Why don't we get back to watching the porno?" Matsuda suggested, glancing back to Motohama.

"…Good idea," Motohama said, before grabbing the remote and hitting play.

The porno began to play once more and all three of us returned to watching it.

Or at least… I tried to.

I tried, I really did.

But… in the end I just wasn't feeling it.

Not even the appearance of my favorite adult film star Momo Momozono did anything to help.

I was tired.

I'd gone into the World of Desire twice in the past day. Once into Kiryuu's demesne—the Ballroom—to get information on what was going on, and the second time into Toro-chan's demesne, which could only be described as a perpetual fashion show.

My body still ached from the former and while I'd managed to heal the superficial damage using one of my Persona, the underlying damage wouldn't go away until I'd visited the Velvet Room to lick my wounds.

I found myself struggling to keep my eyes open, despite the fact that a shower scene had just begun. My eyelids began to get heavier and heavier, and despite my best efforts I soon found it impossible to keep them open.

It happened without a whisper of motion or magic.

Between one blink and the next, I found myself sitting in front of the Velvet Room's bar.

I let out a soft moan of relief as the aches and pains that had lingered throughout my body melted away.

"Good evening, Master Issei."

I looked up, startled and found a familiar looking silver haired maid standing behind the counter.

"H-hey," I said, my cheeks flushed. "G-good to see you again."

The maid's expression remained neutral as she observed me, her eyes briefly flicking from my hair to my clothes. "And you as well, Master Issei. May I offer you something to drink?"

"That would be great," I said as I felt my cheeks begin to cool.

I watched the maid begin to move behind the counter, moving methodically as she busied herself with preparing a drink. As I watched her move, I realized that I still didn't know her name—or rather, she still wouldn't tell me.

I wasn't 'strong' enough after all.

Which… considering what I'd gone through at Kiryuu's demesne, probably wasn't far from the truth.

I let out a long drawn out breath.

"Is something on your mind, Master Issei?"

I opened my mouth to respond, before hesitating and closing it.

I frowned and looked down at the bar top. "Do you know what happened today?" I asked, glancing up at her, before turning my gaze back down.

The maid stilled for a brief moment. "I do not."

I nodded slowly, accepting her answer.

I mulled over how to explain what happened.

"A girl at my school asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend to get her parents off her back," I said after a moment. "I agreed to help out, but I wanted to know what it was about so… I went into her demesne to talk with her Shadow."

The yellow eyed maid blinked once. "Did you succeed?"

"Yes and no," I said. "I learned that she considered me the 'lesser of two evils', but not much more than that. I… got my ass kicked by a really strong Shadow that she had under her control," I said, unable to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

"Do you know the Shadow's name?"

"…Mara."

The maid's slim silver eyebrows rose up a fraction. "And yet you live," she observed. "Are you aware of Mara's origin?"

I grimaced and nodded. "It was a demon that attacked Buddha, right?"

"While that is technically true, it does the threat that it poses a great disservice. Mara is one of several demonic anthropomorphic personifications of evil. Mara is known as the Evil One and it is the ultimate obstacle of any who pursue enlightenment. It ensnares souls with promises of happiness and sexual fulfillment," she paused in her movements. "For you to oppose such a thing and survive is quite impressive, even if it is a shallow facsimile."

I didn't bother to tell her that the only reason I survived was because Kiryuu's Shadow had been more interested in returning me to her bed, rather than actually killing me. Well, that and Faunus taking one for the team.

"Impressive enough for you to tell me your name?" I asked with a sly smile.

"No," she said politely as she set a steaming cup of tea in front of me.

I couldn't help but feel a bit of disappointment at that. "I can't keep calling you 'the maid'," I pointed out as he accepted the cup and blew on it.

"Of course, you can, Master Issei," she said without an ounce of… of… I didn't even have the word for it! "I am but your humble maid."

A humble maid would totally have given me her name though.

"Alright," I said after a moment. I took a sip of my tea, before smiling up at her. "If you won't give me your name, how about I give you one?"

"That would be highly unorthodox, Master Issei." The silver haired attendant gave me a measured look. "Is this an issue you will not relent on?"

I grimaced. "I mean… it would make me feel a lot better if I had something to know you by, you know?"

"May I ask what brought on this renewed interest in my name?"

"I… met a girl yesterday," I admitted. "She wouldn't tell me her name, and when I pressed her on it she gave me an obviously fake one."

The maid regarded me in silence, her expression impossible to read.

I began to feel self-conscious and brought my cup up to my lips, taking another sip. "…Good tea as always," I said, offering her a weak smile before turning my gaze back down to the cup.

"You may refer to me as Lucifia."

I looked up at the maid in surprise. "Really?"

Lucifia nodded with a polite smile.

"Lucifia," I said, rolling the name off my tongue. "Is that… Italian?"

"Perhaps," Lucifia said.

"But it isn't your proper name, is it?"

"No, Master Issei. It is not. My initial terms still stand. If you wish to know my name, you must prove yourself."

I didn't pout. It may have looked like I did, but I didn't. "If I defeat Mara, would that count as being strong enough?" I asked with a hopeful smile.

Lucifia's yellow eyes twinkled in amusement. "Perhaps. Do you have a plan of action for dealing with it?"

I opened my mouth to respond, before stopping and frowning. "…No," I admitted. "I don't. It took out my strongest Persona with a single attack."

To be fair to Faunus, he'd put himself between me and Mara. If he had been fighting it on equal terms, maybe he would have been able to win?

Then again… he'd admitted that Mara would have straight up murdered him in a fight…

' _I saved you,_ ' Faunus grumbled in my mind. ' _If it had been a fair fight I would have won!_ ' He went silent. ' _That was just bravado. Don't make me fight it again, please."_

A sudden thought occurred to me.

"I fell asleep at my friend's place," I said suddenly, looking up at Lucifia in alarm. "They're going to notice—"

"—that your body has vanished?" Lucifia finished my sentence. "Your concerns are understandable, but unjustified. Your mind has separated from your body, as we speak it rests in the real world."

I felt a flood of relief run through me. "That's good. I have no idea how I'd explain magically disappearing in front of them."

"You have kept your special nature a secret from your friends," Lucifia stated. "Why?"

That… was a good question.

Why hadn't I told Matsuda or Motohama?

They'd think this was the coolest thing since sliced bread!

Actual magical powers? It'd blow their minds!

Except, I couldn't use my cool magical powers in the real world. I'd _tried_ and the only thing that I'd managed to do was look like an idiot. Faunus hadn't let me live it down for days.

Outside of taking my friends to the World of Desire—which was out of the question with how dangerous it could be—introducing them to Yuri was the only real way to prove that I wasn't a chuuni, and to be frank, that was out of the question.

I wasn't going to try and pretend to myself that it was something as noble as protecting her from being corrupted by my degenerate friends. Yuri was doing a good enough job of corrupting herself while I was at school. No, the real reason I didn't want to introduce them to Yuri was because I wanted to keep her to myself. She thought the world of me, and I wanted to keep it that way.

I felt my eyelids begin to get heavy. "Looks like it's time to get going," I said after a moment as I felt a sense of fatigue set in.

Lucifia bowed politely. "I look forward to your next visit, Master Issei."

I voluntarily closed my eyes, and after several seconds, I opened them again, and found myself in the familiar confines of Motohama's dark room. Matsuda and Motohama were both eagerly watching the television still—the porno had reached its climax—pun intended—with Pinky locked in a battle with Cephalord, the former having been driven to her knees by the sheer might of the latter's many tentacle attacks.

Like all good things, Kaben Rider Pinky's battle came to a climax, as did she, resulting in the defeat of Cephalord as she absorbed his tentacle-related powers and gained the ability to transform into Kaben Rider Octopinky.

"That. Was. Amazing!" Motohama shouted as he jumped up from his chair, thrusting his fist into the air. "Did you see the way she turned the tables on Cephalord while he was using his tentacle powered full nelson to pound her into submission?! It was breathtaking!" As if to add to my growing list of mental trauma, Motohama chose that moment to re-enact the scene in question.

"First of all, never do that again," Matsuda said to Motohama with a look that promised swift retribution if he did. "Second, that was easily the second best scene in the entire porno—"

"Oh yeah? What was the first then?" Motohama challenged Matsuda, folding his arms across his chest.

Matsuda considered the question. "I guess, the one where she was at the beach and Cephalord pulled her underwater."

Motohama's eyes widened in excitement. "Oooh! You mean when—"

"—when the suckers on his tentacles made it look like she had love bites all over her body? Yeah! That was so hot!" Matsuda said with a grin before he turned toward me. "Which one was your favourite Issei?"

"Those were both good scenes," I said with a smile to my two friends, despite the fact that I had missed the majority of the action.

"Boo. Don't sit on the fence! Come on which was your favourite scene?"

"That's a good question," I said.

It was, there was also a good reason as to why I couldn't answer it; I'd slept through the majority of the movie. "Hmm." I made a big show of thinking back and considering my answer. "I think you both know what my answer is," I said, giving them both a meaningful look.

Realization flared in both their eyes, before they independently rolled their eyes and scoffed. "That would be your favourite scene, wouldn't it?" Motohama grumbled. "Still, I can't really blame you. Pinky has really good…" he struggled briefly, before smirking and lifting his hands up to his chest. "Personality, if you know what I mean?" He said, waggling his eyebrows.

"Unfortunately, we always know what you mean," Matsuda quipped, earning himself a glower from Motohama.

Before Motohama could respond there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Motohama called out from his chair.

The door swung open and Motohama's mother poked her head into the room. "It's getting late, Moto-kun."

"But Issei just got here," Motohama began to protest, only to receive a look that quelled him instantly. "I guess it is a bit late," he reluctantly admitted, glancing toward Matsuda and myself.

Ten minutes later Matsuda and I found ourselves shuffled out of Motohama's home. We walked together in relative silence as we made our way. There really wasn't much to say, at least, until Matsuda found something to say—or rather, ask.

"Do you think Yura-senpai is hot?"

I looked at Matsuda in surprise. "What kind of question is that?"

"The uncomplicated kind," Matsuda replied with a scowl. He folded his arms across his chest as we walked. "Do you think she's hot or not?"

"I mean, yeah. That's a given, isn't it?" I said with a confused smile. "She's super fit as well, I bet. Why?"

"She is," Matsuda said with a grin. He hesitated a moment. "So, you don't think it's…" He struggled with how to phrase his next question.

"Weird that you think a girl who sort of looks like a really cute guy is hot?" I suggested.

Matsuda went crimson and looked away from me. "Y-yeah I guess," he said meekly.

"Matsuda, my friend," I said softly as I reached over and clasped his shoulder. I gave him a warm smile. "It's not gay if it's a girl," I told him wisely.

My friend looked at me as though I had casually revealed to him the meaning of life. He took a deep breath and then nodded. "You're right," he said before a wide grin broke out on his face. "Yeah! You're right! It's not gay because she has boobs!"

I didn't burst his bubble with the knowledge that it was entirely possible for a guy to have tits. I wasn't that cruel.

We fell back into a pleasant silence that lasted several blocks, before an odd sort of tension began to develop.

Matsuda began to fiddle awkwardly with his hands.

I found myself absently scratching at my neck.

The tension soon became unbearable.

"I'm not into guys!" Matsuda blurted out.

I looked at him in surprise. "I know that! I'm not either," I paused for a moment, before adding on, "Not that there's anything wrong with that."

"Nothing at all," Matsuda agreed quickly, before grimacing. "I just… I didn't want you to think that…" he trailed off uncomfortably.

I looked at him in confusion, before I realized what he was so uncomfortable about. "Oh! No, no!" I shook my head. "I never thought that. You're not even the one who organizes our 'viewing' sessions, you know?"

Matsuda smiled at me in relief and nodded, before his brow furrowed. "You don't think...?"

We both glanced back the way we'd come, toward Motohama's house.

There were several long seconds of silence.

"No," I said with a shake of my head and a laugh, before adding on. "But even if he was, that'd fine too."

"Exactly!" Matsuda said with a grin.

Another silence began to develop, and as it did, I recalled the question that Lucifia had asked of me; why had I hidden my nature from my friends? I'd come up with several reasons on the spot—not that I had told her any of them—but here, and now, walking beside my friend, I found myself suddenly curious as to what Matsuda's reaction would be.

"Say, Matsuda," I began to say, glancing over at him. "Do you believe in magic?"

Matsuda stiffened for a brief moment, before he relaxed. "That's a weird question," he said, before going silent for several seconds. He glanced over at me. "I guess I do? Why?"

I shrugged a shoulder. "Just curious," I told him, before quickly continuing. "If someone told you that they could do magic, but couldn't easily prove it to you, would you believe them?"

Matsuda stopped walking and turned toward me, doing his best to project an air of disinterest. "That's a very specific question," he said. "Does it have something to do with what happened earlier today?"

I frowned, but nodded.

"…So, when you said that you got molested by Kiryuu's giant fire breathing dick, you were being serious?"

I winced at the mental imagery that was forced upon me. "I never said molested!" I protested. "Attacked! I said attacked!"

Matsuda regarded me for a long moment. "Okay," he said with a nod. "I believe you."

I looked at my friend in surprise. He looked back at me, his expression open and trusting. "You do?" I asked, unable to keep my disbelief out of my voice.

Matsuda shrugged a shoulder. "Sure. Why would you lie about something that ridiculous?" He reached up and ran a hand over his shaved head. "What magical powers do you have then?"

I couldn't help but notice how easily Matsuda was accepting my claim to magical powers. If the shoes were reversed I definitely wouldn't have been so quick to accept my friend at his word. So, either he was a better friend than I was or…

"You've seen something," I stated.

Matsuda gave a nervous laugh and glanced away. "I don't know what you mean, weren't we talking about your cool new magical powers?"

"Come on man!" I protested. "I told you my secret!"

Matsuda grimaced. "I… I want to tell you, but I can't, you know?"

"Can't or won't?"

"Can't," Matsuda said bluntly. "I would if I could, but it's out of my hands, you know?"

I frowned but nodded. "Alright," I said unhappily, letting it go for the time being. "But when you can tell me you will right?"

"Right!" Matsuda said quickly. "I'll even put in a good word for you!"

I wanted to ask 'with who' but I had no doubt in my mind that Matsuda wouldn't tell me. He could be pretty stubborn when the situation called for it. Getting him to answer outright would be as painful as pulling a tooth out.

Of course, that didn't mean I couldn't try and make him slip up.

"It's called Persona," I told Matsuda, "My power, that is."

If Matsuda recognized the term he didn't show it. "Persona," he said, his brow furrowing. "What's that?"

I opened my mouth to explain, only to stop and frown. "It's hard to explain," I told him honestly. "It lets me… contract with spirits and use their powers. Or, at least that's the simplest way I can put it."

"You mean like youkai?"

My nose crinkled. "Sort of, but not really. Personas are like… like…" I struggled to find a way to put it into words. "Someone explained it to me once. I didn't really… understand everything that she was saying but, I remember something my own Persona told me."

"Your own persona?" Matsuda echoed, his eyebrow raising.

I grinned and nodded. "Its name is Faunus. It told me that a Persona is the manifestation of your inner self, the strength of your heart given form."

"That's…"

"Really pretentious?" I finished with a smile. "I know." I ignored the spike of irritation I felt from Faunus. "But it's as close as I can get to the truth without boring you to death."

Matsuda flashed me an amused look, before a thought occurred to him. "Does that mean I have a Persona?" He asked me.

I hesitated in answering.

Matsuda _did_ have a Persona, or at least a Shadow.

Since it had willingly given up its excess desire, did that mean it was still a Shadow? I hadn't been back to Matsuda's demesne to check to see if his Shadow had changed—or if his demesne was still there.

"You might," I settled on. "Everyone has a Persona, whether you'll be able to summon it is something altogether different."

"How did you summon yours?"

"Uh, exceptional circumstances," I said with a sheepish smile.

Somehow, I felt that explaining that I'd somehow found my way into Matsuda's demesne and almost been murdered by his worse half was the way to go. I had no doubt that if Matsuda really could manifest a Persona, that it'd come to light. But for the moment, I wanted to keep that to myself—plus I knew Matsuda, he'd feel guilty about it, even if it wasn't something he could have controlled at the time.

Matsuda came to a stop. "Issei. It's time we went our separate ways," Matsuda said as he turned toward me.

I looked to Matsuda in surprise. "What, why?" I asked, confused.

Matsuda gave me a funny look and jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "I gotta go that way."

A quick glance around told me that we'd reached an intersection—the one where we'd usually part ways and head our separate ways. "Oh." I blinked. "Right. See you at school tomorrow?"

"Yeah, you have a good night man," he said with a laugh and gave a half-hearted wave as he left.

I watched as Matsuda walked away for several seconds, before I turned and began to make my way home.

I arrived home without incident, only to find the lights off and the front door locked.

I frowned.

This was… bad.

There was no sign of Yuri at all—which wasn't odd in and of itself. Sometimes she vanished into the other world to do scouting and find new demesnes. In this instance howerver, her absence was going to be a pain. I'd lost my keys along with my phone and everything else in Kiryuu's demesne, and my parents didn't believe in leaving a spare key under a rock.

The doors were all locked, I made sure of that.

Which meant… the only way in was to either wait for Yuri to show up, or… to get in the way she did.

I glanced up at the second storey of the house with a small amount of worry. I could vaguely remember climbing out of my window when I was a young boy to sneak over to play with my friend Iri-kun. But I was a lot smaller back then and a lot less aware of my own mortality.

I could just imagine it now.

Hyoudou Issei the Destroyer of Shadows, done in by a loose shingle and a broken neck.

A stray gust of wind ruffled my jacket and sent a shiver of cold running up my spine and put any thought of staying out and waiting for Yuri to turn up out of my mind.

I stepped back toward the front gate and surveyed the front of my house.

There was a balcony that ran across the front of my house. There were two doors up there, one lead into my parents' room, the other lead into a guest bedroom. My room was on the other side of the house and didn't have balcony access, something I had complained about to my parents at one point or another.

Apparently, my want of a balcony was trumped by my parents' desire to not hear… things.

I shook my head.

There was a drainage pipe hooked up to the side of the balcony. A section of it was diagonal and if I could get a foot up there it'd be a cinch. All in all, it was probably the easiest way to get onto the balcony without getting bitten by a radioactive spider.

I pulled my jacket off and folded it, before setting it down on the steps. I turned toward the balcony and began to stretch.

Several minutes later I finally managed to pull myself up onto the balcony after a dozen attempts. I dropped onto the balcony with a sigh of relief and only pulled myself up onto my feet after several deep gulps of air.

I turned toward the guest room door and pulled it open.

Or at least I tried to. No matter how hard I yanked on the door handle the thing wouldn't budge!

I huffed and glanced over at my parent's side of the balcony. I made my way over to the small wall separating the two halves of the balcony and hopped over it.

As I reached out to the handle, I internally prayed to every god who would be willing to listen, for my parents to have forgotten to lock the balcony door.

A flood of relief ran through me as the door slid open and I quickly slipped inside, shutting the glass sliding door behind me.

The light from outside illuminated the interior of my parents' room. I quickly made my way over to the door and slipped out into the hallway, ignoring the pervasive _wrong_ that I felt from being in it. I made my way downstairs, turning on lights as I went and unlocked the front door. I grabbed my jacket from the steps and dusted it off, before heading back inside and shutting the door behind me.

I stared down at my jacket as I walked into the lounge room.

I dropped into a seat and slumped backward, resting my head and closing my eyes.

Tonight, had been… good.

I had a date with Kiryuu, and I'd spent time with my friends. I mean, sure I'd lost my bag, my school books, my phone and my keys but…

I frowned and opened my eyes.

"…Shit," I said, unable to help myself. "I need to go back, don't I?"

' _Or—and I'm just making a suggestion here—you could choose to get a new bag, phone and change the locks?'_ Faunus suggested.

"I don't have the money for even half of that," I pointed out in irritation.

I sighed.

"Maybe we won't even have to fight Mara," I said, trying to put a positive spin on things. "I mean, look how far we got with Kiryuu's Shadow before she freaked?" I pointed out. "Maybe we can sneak in through the back, find my stuff and then get out without ever crossing paths with her."

' _Why are you even trying to lie to me?'_ Faunus asked. ' _I'm you. I know what you're thinking. You don't believe that's even remotely possible._ '

I sighed.

He wasn't wrong.

I grimaced and reached up, massaging the side of my neck. "Okay, then…"

I fell silent.

I needed stronger Personas.

That was the simple truth.

My Persona were all beautiful, and I wanted to keep each and every one of them with me. But… that didn't look like it was going to be possible for the foreseeable future.

I reluctantly thought about Mara.

Maybe… maybe if I had a Persona who was strong against fire? That would eliminate the danger from one of its attacks.

That just left… the money shot.

Faunus whined pathetically inside my soul.

"…I know man, I know," I said softly, reaching up and gently patting my hand against my heart.

Poor Faunus.

It couldn't get married anymore.

—~—


End file.
